A Life Full of Surprises
by IMPeak123
Summary: This is a continuation of Building a Future, Callie and Arizona's journey through marriage and motherhood. This installment will pick up right after the birth of their son, Timothy.
1. Chapters 1 thru 7

**A Life Full of Surprises**

_**By: Peak123**_

_**This is a continuation of Building a Future, the sequel to Love Will Lead You Back. For any newcomers to the storyline, this is Callie and Arizona's journey through marriage and motherhood. This installment will pick up right where Chapter 42 left off, after the birth of Timothy. **_

**Disclaimer****: I don't own Grey's Anatomy or any of the characters/story lines. Sadly, those all belong to ABC and Shonda Rhimes.**

_**Chapter 1**_

_**Callie's POV:**_

Seven days ago, my wife gave birth to our son. Timothy Makalo Robbins-Torres is the most beautiful little surprise Arizona and I have ever received. I fell in love with him instantly, his mesmerizing blue eyes staring into my soul just like my wife's do. Timothy is nothing but pure perfection…a miniature version of the woman I love with all of my heart. He has made our lives complete…brought us immeasurable joy…fulfilled our dreams.

Of course, the new addition to our family has also turned our lives upside down. Arizona and I are getting up with Timmy, as his sister so affectionately calls him, every few hours. Being breastfed, he will have to eat more often…which means, more work for my wife and less sleep for all of us. People try to warn you…try to prepare you for the drastic differences in parenting not one, but two children. Of course, no one ever believes it until they experience it for themselves. Arizona and I have quickly learned what a challenge it can be to keep everybody happy….to meet the growing needs of our newborn and still keep our energetic toddler entertained. To say things have been hectic around our house is an understatement.

And now, we are having a New Year's Eve party tonight. As if having a baby a week ago didn't add enough craziness to our lives, we're going to offer alcohol to a bunch of easily influenced fools and call it a party. And Arizona thinks this is a good idea.

"Come on, Callie," my wife says, her dimples peeking out from behind her smile to win me over. "It'll be fun. Everyone can see the baby. We can finally see some other people. I know Sophia will be happy to hear something other than our voices or her brother's cries. I thought you were okay with this."

"I was, but the more I think about it…I just, I don't know," I say, looking down at the sleeping angel in my arms in an effort to avoid making eye contract with my wife. Once I see those big, blue eyes pleading with me, I am done. And I need Arizona to at least hear me out first. "When we first planned this whole thing, it seemed like a good idea. We could have everyone over…get a break from the constant flow of visitors…have them all here in one shot. But then I, I started thinking about how drunk everyone was going to get and…"

"And what?" Arizona interjects, ducking down to meet my eyes. Damn it…those eyes. They're pleading…_begging_ almost. She's gonna win this one. "Baby, please…I really want to do this. It will make me feel more like _me_ again. This past week, I don't really know who Arizona is…I'm just a new mother, who is worried and emotional and exhausted. Please, Calliope…I need to be _me _again, just for one night." Damn woman…how can I say no to her now?

"Fine…but none of those drunk idiots are holding my baby," I yell, a small smile forming on my face when Arizona leans in to kiss the corner of my mouth. "What time did you tell them all to show up later?"

"Six o'clock," she answers excitedly. "I already ordered all the food from our favorite Asian restaurant. Steak, chicken, sushi, tons of appetizers and stuff. I'm even having it delivered so you don't have to do anything Teddy is going to pick up the dessert tray from the bakery for us. I even called the cleaning lady. Everything is covered."

"Wow, you really _do_ want to have this party," I say as I look up at my wife, unable to keep the laughter from escaping when she shakes her head up and down vigorously. Apparently, my giggling has disturbed our son and Timothy begins to squirm a bit.

"Shhh, sorry buddy. Oh, Mama's sorry I woke you up," I whisper to the beautiful boy in my arms, smiling brightly when I am met with another pair of big, blue eyes.

"That's okay, Callie…he was due to eat now anyway," Arizona says as she comes to stand behind me, wrapping her arms around my waist. "Hello, little man. Are you hungry, my sweet boy? Hmmm?"

Timothy just continues to squirm in my arms, his soft cries filling the air after a moment. I place a tender kiss to my son's soft, pink lips before passing him to his mommy. "I'm serious, Arizona…once people start drinking later, it's hands off our little surprise."

"Does that include your hands, Calliope?" my wife chuckles as she settles Timothy down on her lap and begins to unbutton her top. "Because I've yet to attend a party with alcohol where you are not one of the drunk ones, my love."

My jaw drops and I cross my arms over my chest, pretending to be highly offended by that comment. "I don't need to drink to have a good time at this party. I've been sober at many parties where alcohol's been offered, I'll have you know."

"Oh yeah? Like when…in grade school maybe?" my wife teases, our eyes smiling at one another over our little boy. "It's okay, baby…you should have a few drinks. Have fun."

"I'm sure I'll have a couple glasses of wine, but there is no way I'm going to be too intoxicated to help you with the kids. And don't even try to argue with me, Arizona," I say before she can try to convince me that she doesn't need any help.

Just then, Sophia wakes up from her nap and starts calling me. "Mama…I thirsty, Mama. You bring me some water….pleeeeaaase?" she hollers from down the hall.

"Sure, baby…I'll be right there," I tell her, leaning down to inhale Timothy's sweet baby scent before walking out of the nursery.

"Hey, peanut," I say when I reach Sophia's door, a huge grin instantly forming on my face when I see my daughter surrounded by stuffed animals. "Wow, looks like you had a big slumber party for nap today."

"I no wanna sleep by myself," Sophia says quite seriously, tears clouding her big, brown eyes as she rips the sippy cup out of my hand.

"Hey, sweetie…what's wrong?" I ask, my heart plummeting when I realize how upset my little girl is. Sophia just pouts, her bottom lip stuck out as her eyes continue to fill with tears. Obviously, something is bothering her and she doesn't want to talk about it. "Come on, Soph…talk to me. Tell Mama what's wrong." But she shakes her head no, turning away from me so I don't see the tears fall. I cross the room and sit on the floor beside her bed, my arms outstretched for her to join me. She hesitates at first, little fingers wiping the tears she doesn't want me to see. But when I don't move…don't leave her…don't stop offering my loving arms, she finally gives in. All of a sudden, a little body is thrown into my lap, a mess of black curls burying into my chest. "Okay…okay, peanut. It's okay. Mama's here. Everything is gonna be okay," I promise the sweet girls in my arms.

"I no wanna sleep all alone, Mama," Sophia tells me again, causing me to raise an eyebrow.

I think about it for a moment…try to figure out exactly what is going through that little head of hers. Then, it dawns on me. "Is this because your brother is sleeping in our room, Sophia? Are you sad because Timothy gets to sleep with me and Mommy?" I can feel Sophia nodding into my chest, her head burying deeper and deeper as she clings to me. "That's why you have all these stuffed animals in here with you…so you have someone to sleep with too. Oh, Sophia…"

I feel my own tears burning the back of my eyes, the thought of my peanut feeling so sad just breaking my heart. "I sorry, Mama," she whispers through her gut wrenching sobs, her eyes locked with mine when she pulls back to talk to me. "I no want Timmy to sleep with you and Mommy. He taking my spot in the big bed."

"Aw, no…no, sweetheart. Timmy doesn't sleep in our bed. He sleeps in the bassinet. And no one is taking your place. I promise you, baby girl. No one can _ever_ take your place," I choke out, blinking back my tears.

I swallow the lump in my throat, fully aware now that this is much more than worrying about her spot in the bed….even if Sophia doesn't know it. "You know what? We're having a big party tonight, remember?" Sophia nods, a small smile forming as she thinks about all the fun and goodies a party entails. "Well, since it's a special night…Mommy said you could come sleep in our bed tonight."

"She did?" Sophia asks, her eyes growing wide with excitement. "Mommy wanna have me with her in the big bed?"

"Uh huh…she sure does. We both do…but, but it was Mommy's idea to have this special sleepover. Doesn't it sound like fun?"

"Yay…fun," Sophia squeals with joy, wiping the last of her tears before running in the direction of the nursery. "Mommy…I love you, Mommy," I hear her call to Arizona as I push my self up off the floor. When I get to Timothy's room, Sophia is hugging Arizona's legs, telling her over and over again how much she loves her.

"I love you too, peanut," Arizona says, gesturing for me to take the baby so she can give Sophia a proper hug. Arizona places Timothy into my arms, smiling when he coos at the sound of my voice. She then pulls Sophia up into her lap and holds her close, lowering her brow in confusion as to why our daughter is suddenly so enamored with her. "Would you mind telling me what this is all about?" Arizona asks.

"Oh…she's just excited, that's all. Right, Sophia?" I say, gaining another questioning look from my wife. Sophia nods and smiles, looking up at her mommy adoringly. "She's really excited about our big sleepover tonight. You know, the one _you_ suggested so that we are all together…so someone doesn't feel left out?"

The confusion quickly fades from Arizona's face, and she inhales sharply before nodding in agreement. "Yes, it will be so much fun. You can sleep right in between me and Mama, like you always do on special nights," my wife tells our daughter, her voice cracking a bit as the realization of Sophia's insecurity hits her hard.

"Dorado can sleep in your room too, Mommy?" Sophia asks, her tear stained cheeks being caressed by my wife. Arizona nods and smiles, despite her broken heart, and Sophia takes off in search of her four-legged friend. "Rado…me and you gonna sleep in the big bed tonight. We not gonna be all alone," we hear her yell in the distance.

"Oh my God, Callie…what happened? She was crying when she woke up? Oh, my poor baby," Arizona chokes out, her eyes wet with emotion.

"Yeah, she was pretty upset at first," I admit reluctantly, knowing how much that fact will hurt my wife. "I think it's finally hitting her…you know, the whole sibling thing."

"But, but she hasn't said anything…or, or acted out at all," Arizona says, sadness taking over her face. "Unless…unless you've been keeping it from me."

"No," I shout, not wanting there to be any doubt in her mind. "No, this is the first time she's displayed anything even remotely resembling jealousy. She just, she wants to make sure she doesn't lose her place in our lives…or in our bed," I say with a nervous giggle, relieved when I hear Arizona let out a small chuckle of her own. "Sophia is gonna be just fine," I tell my wife after placing Timothy in his crib and winding up the mobile. "She'll need a little reassurance every now and then, but…"

"So, we'll give it to her," Arizona chimes in as she looks down at the baby with me. "We'll give her anything she needs to make sure she knows how much we love her. Ohhhh, this is going to be tougher than I thought."

"Hey…hey, look at me," I whisper, pulling my wife's hands away from her face. "I told Sophia, and I'll tell you….everything is going to be okay." Arizona exhales loudly, brown eyes reflected in blue when she finally looks at me. "I'm not going to lie and tell you it will be easy. We knew there would be a period of adjustment. But we'll get through it, and everything will work out in the end."

"Tell me that in a week, when you go back to work," Arizona huffs, looking away from me again.

"Okay…I will," I say, determined to show her that no matter what, I'll be here for her.

I can see a smile forming at the corner of her mouth and before I know it, she is in my arms.

"Thank you," she whispers, blonde waves what I now see imbedded in my chest. "I love you, Calliope."

"I love you too, baby," I tell her, pulling back to look in her eyes. "And I love you, little man," I say to our son who is kicking his little feet to the music from the mobile. Arizona lifts Timothy out of the crib, placing a bunch of soft kisses to his face before passing him to me. "Where are you going?" I ask when Arizona leaves the room without a word.

"I'm going to take a shower," she hollers, her voice echoing down the hall. "We have a party to get ready for."

A few hours later, we are all dressed and ready for the big New Year's celebration. Sophia is waiting anxiously at the front door for our guests to arrive, hats and horns in hand. "Daddy," she exclaims when I open the door for her father. "Happy New Year! Here, Daddy…you wear a hat, just like me."

"Sure thing, kiddo," Mark says with a laugh, placing the pointy red cone on his head before scooping up our daughter. "I've missed you this week, Sophia. You been having fun at home with your moms?"

"Yup. We gonna have a sleepover in the big bed tonight," Sophia declares proudly, a beautiful smile gracing her adorable face. "Just me, Mama, and Mommy…no baby. He sleep in the bassinet."

"Sophia…Sophia, Mommy needs her little helper," Arizona calls from the kitchen, sending our daughter skipping off in her direction.

"So, I take it the big sister thing isn't going too well?" Mark inquires, his focus shifting from Sophia to the insistent dog begging for attention. "Hey there, Dorado. What's the matter, pal? You jealous too?"

I roll my eyes as I pet Dorado, nudging Mark with my elbow when he continues to tease me. "Sophia's been doing great, actually," I tell Mark, partly to shut him up and partly to remind myself. "She's been great with the baby…you can tell she loves him."

"Of course she loves him, Cal…but that doesn't mean she isn't jealous," Mark says, his tone much more serious. "Everyone gets jealous when they have a new sibling, right? I mean, I wouldn't know because I never had one."

"Well, that explains a lot," I say, taking my turn to tease him. "Yeah, I was jealous of Aria a bit. But it passed. Just like it will for Sophia."

The doorbell rings again and I excuse myself to usher in some more guests, telling Mark to grab a drink and some appetizers in the dining room. Within the next hour, all of our guests have arrived. Zola and Tuck seem to be keeping Sophia happy, the three kids running around the house with their horns. Everyone gushes over the baby, and I can't help but feel an overwhelming sense of pride when I hear them compliment our beautiful son.

"Yes, you are the most handsome boy in the whole world," Teddy tells her godson, clearly quite smitten with Timothy. "Yes, there are going to be girls….um, or, or boys…lining up for you a mile down the road."

"Give me my son back, crazy lady," Arizona says as she leans over her best friend and pulls our little surprise into her arms. "Aunt Teddy is a nut, honey. But you'll learn to love her anyway."

Teddy sticks her tongue out at my wife as she gets up off the couch and heads in the direction of the bar. "At least I can drink," she yells to Arizona, holding up a glass of white wine to tease her. "Mmmm, delicious. Want some? Oh, that's right…you can't have any. Aw, so sad."

"Hey, leave my wife alone," I yell from the kitchen as I take another round of appetizers out of the oven. "She's doing a very important job…feeding _your_ godson. Don't taunt her with alcohol. And don't even think about holding Timothy once you hit another glass of wine."

"I see the overprotective thing hasn't disappeared," Teddy tells my wife, who just keeps staring at me from the living room. I turn my head just in time to see Arizona smile, my heart fluttering in my chest every time I see those dimples.

"Hey, um…where's the Tequila, Cal?" Cristina asks as she comes barreling into the kitchen, sneaking hors d'oeuvres as if I don't see her.

"There was a whole bottle on the bar," I say, smacking her hand away from the food. "Did you guys drink that whole thing already?"

"Um…uh, yup," she replies. "What did you expect when you invited me and Karev? Got any more?"

"Arizona…do we have any more Tequila, babe?" I call to my wife, catching her just as she is about to enter the nursery with Timothy.

"Yeah, I think there's some more in the cabinet under the bar. Tell Cristina to help herself," Arizona says with a laugh. "You're more than welcome to have a drink with her, Calliope."

"No, I'm good. Just gonna stick with wine," I tell her. I turn to tell Cristina what my wife said, but apparently she heard for herself. When I make my way to the dining room with the tray of appetizers, she is already busy opening the new bottle of Jose Cuervo. "Didn't waste any time, did ya?" I say, shaking my head at my drunk friend.

"Good thing my husband's here," Cristina says, laughing wildly after she takes another shot of Tequila. He's my chauffeur. Isn't that right, Owen?"

"Sure…I'll drive you home later," Owen replies, causing Cristina to smile proudly. "But you're not sleeping in our bed if you puke."

Everyone cracks up at the shocked expression on Cristina's face, drunken laughter filling the room. "What's wrong with you?" I ask Bailey when I see her glaring at all of our friends, clearly not amused by their behavior. "You need a drink, Miranda."

"Did you see my son playing with your daughter over there?" Bailey asks as she points me in the direction of the playroom. "It's New Year's Eve, fool…and I have my child to drive home later. I'm not drinking a drop."

"Good," I say, patting her on the shoulder for being so responsible. "You can be on baby watch. Don't let any of those drunk idiots touch my son. If Arizona and I aren't holding him, then you're in charge of Timothy."

"It would be an honor," she says, cracking a small smile. "Speaking of that beautiful baby….where is he?"

I glance around the room, noticing that Arizona is still no where in sight. "Hmm, guess she's still feeding him," I say after checking the kitchen. "I'll be right back. Just gonna go see if Arizona needs any help."

I place my glass of wine down on the table and walk down the hallway towards the nursery. When I reach Timothy's room, I knock lightly before pushing the door open a bit. I never understood why Arizona loved watching me nurse Sophia…why she thought I looked so beautiful breastfeeding our child. That is, until I saw her with Timothy. There is nothing more breathtaking than the sight of my wife feeding our son, and for a moment, I just stand in the doorway and watch her.

"You gonna come in here or what, Calliope?" Arizona finally says, her eyes locked with mine from across the room. "Shut the door maybe, so one of our guests doesn't walk past here and see my boob."

"Sorry…just admiring the view," I say as I enter our alternate universe…our private version of Africa. I swallow the lump in my throat that seems unending these days, the new life in our presence reducing me to tears on a daily basis. "You two are just, just so…_beautiful_."

"You're pretty beautiful yourself," Arizona says, trying to shrug off the compliment. I can see the pinkness in her cheeks, however…her own tears blinked back as she continues to feed our son. "Mama is right about you, little man," Arizona whispers to Timothy as she strokes his cheek with her finger. "Yes, you are our beautiful boy. Yes, you are."

My heart is filled with so much love as I stand beside the rocking chair and watch my wife nourish our baby. Timothy is easily distracted, his bright blue eyes studying my face as I look down at him. "Te amo, mi pequeña sorpresa," I whisper to the sweet boy before me, sighing in contentment when he wraps his tiny hand around my finger. In this moment, I want nothing more than to stay in our little Malawi and wait for Timmy to finish his dinner. But we have a house full of guests, so I reluctantly pull away from the newest love of my life and head towards the door.

"Well, better get back to the party," I say, sending my wife a warm smile. "You having a good time, I hope?"

"I'm having a great time, Callie. Thanks," Arizona says, gratitude offered by a show of dimples. "Meet you back out there in a few."

Mark is coming out of the bathroom when I exit the nursery, and I can tell by the dumb grin on his face that dirty thoughts are running through his mind. "She just had a baby, Mark," I scoff, smacking him in the arm when he raises his eyebrows. "She's still healing, you moron. We can't have sex for another seven weeks."

"Hmmm…keeping track, are we?" Mark asks, snickering when I smack him again. "Not sure you'll be able to last that long, Cal. Arizona better like to watch you flying solo."

"You're a pervert, Mark," I chuckle, that dumb grin on his face making it impossible not to laugh. "I'll wait as long as she needs."

"You look really happy, Callie. All of you….you look really, really happy," Mark says sincerely, putting his arm around my shoulder as we walk back into the party. I can't stop smiling, the truth in Mark's words making my heart swell yet again.

"Happy New Year, Mark," I say, grabbing my glass off the table and raising it to his.

The rest of the night just flies by. The sober people just keep helping themselves to the table full of food, while the drunks just keep getting drunker. Apparently, the Shepards left while I was in the nursery, after Zola had a major meltdown. It's not even eleven when Owen takes off with Cristina, passed out over his shoulder. Karev is also in the bag, the second bottle him and Dr. Yang polished off clearly having an effect on him.

Bailey helps us clean up for a bit before getting little Tuck home, her tough exterior melted away by the little boy sleeping on Eli's shoulder. "Happy New Year, moms," Bailey says as she kisses Arizona and I goodnight at the front door. "Enjoy that baby boy. Before you know it, he's gonna be a little man," she whines, her brow furrowed as she looks at her son who is already almost seven years old. Life really does go by _so_ fast once you become a mother.

Since most of the crowd has left for the evening, Mark takes his cue and sets out to embark on the two minute walk he has home. Before he leaves, he does my wife and I the favor of carrying our daughter to bed. Sophia fell asleep with little Tuck, watching cartoons in the playroom. "Um…wait," Arizona yells down the hall when Mark starts to veer into Sophia's room with her. "Our room, please," she says with a smile.

Teddy and Henry are the last to leave, both of them clearly intoxicated. "Um, how are you guys getting home?" I ask, just as a cab pulls up to the driveway.

"Okay…good," Arizona says as she kisses her best friend goodbye, practically prying her drunk lips off of Timothy's head. "Good luck with this one tonight, Henry. She could be a lot of fun…or a complete disaster."

"I know, and I'm prepared for both scenarios," Henry says with a laugh as he takes his wife's arm. "Thanks for everything, ladies. Great party."

Arizona closes and locks the door behind them, sighing as she leans against it with Timothy in her arms. "Is it horrible that I'm glad all of our friends left before midnight?" she asks. "I mean, I'm sooo happy we had the party. It was nice to see everybody…show off this gorgeous baby of ours. But I'm glad that we…"

"Get to celebrate the new year alone?" I question, practically reading her mind. "Me too, Arizona. "I want to kiss my wife at midnight. And not the way I would if everybody was watching. I want to ring in this new year with my new family…the family that was born with this little angel last week," I say as I stare back and forth between two sets of bright blue eyes.

Arizona leans in for a quick kiss before passing me our son, her touch sending shivers down my spine. "We have twenty minutes til the ball drops, you wanna put Timothy down in our room and join me in front of the fireplace? I'm gonna have the one glass of wine I'm allowed."

"Sure…that, that sounds amazing," I choke out, a lump in my throat for an entirely different reason now. Damn it. Mark was right. There is no way I'm going to make it another seven weeks, especially if my gorgeous wife…the woman who just gave birth to our son, keeps taunting me this way. But I can't say no to her, so I'll just have to behave myself.

Once I have the baby settled in his bassinet, baby monitor in hand, I head back into the living room. Arizona is just sitting down, a glass of red and a glass of white wine placed before the fire. "He go down okay?" she asks, the hint of worry ever present in her eyes shining through.

"Sleeping like an angel," I say truthfully as I sit beside her, graciously accepting my glass of wine.

The television is muted so we can count down the new year…and for a good five minutes, Arizona and I pretend that we are actually watching it. I can feel her eyes roaming over my body, liquid heat pooling between my thighs every time I glance over at her. When my wife finishes her glass of wine and turns towards me, I can't pretend any longer. My irises are dark with desire as they keep wandering between her eyes and her lips, each second making it harder to resist the beautiful woman before me.

"You know, just because we can't have sex doesn't mean you can't kiss me," Arizona whispers as her hands finds mine, fingers weaving through one another as firelight dances in our eyes. I lick my lips and take a deep breath as I tilt my head towards her, sucking her nervous breath into my mouth as I slowly bring it down upon hers. My wife and I have shared many kisses over the past week, the joy of our newborn baby bringing us closer together than ever. But this kiss is different. This is the kind of kiss that takes your breath away…a kiss filled with passion, reserved only for someone you are completely and madly in love with. "Calliope…" Arizona whimpers when she removes her soft lips from mine, her eyes filled with nothing but love.

I cover her lips with my finger, stopping her from beginning what I'm sure will be one of her famous rambles. I love hearing her say she loves me…_needs_ me…_wants_ me. But right now, I just want to feel it. I crash my mouth into hers, lips parting immediately as we dive into one another. Tongues battle for dominance as hands wander over aching bodies. I kiss every piece of skin available to me, my lips traveling down the length of Arizona's long, sleek neck. My hands hold her body close to mine, fingertips digging into the flesh I adore. My fingers naturally make their way to her breasts, but I hesitate to touch them tonight. I feel almost afraid to claim the sacred part of her that is now responsible for nursing our baby, but my wife quickly rids me of any anxiety I have by grabbing my hand and pushing it onto her breast.

"You can still touch me, Calliope," she breathes in my ear before sucking the lobe into her warm mouth, another rush of liquid desire sent straight to my core.

"I'm gonna need a cold shower after this," I say as I continue to feel her under my skin, our mouths and hands seeking every part of one another while we have the chance.

Just then, the baby cries and our romantic evening comes abruptly to an end. "It was good while it lasted, right?" my wife says, brown eyes reflected in blue before the blazing fire.

"Soooo good," I whisper, leaving her with one last kiss before standing and helping her up off the floor. "Come on, Arizona…let's go watch the ball drop with our babies."

We settle into our big, comfy bed just as the countdown begins. Sophia is sound asleep, softly snoring in between my wife and I as our son begins his midnight feeding. When the clock strikes twelve, I lean over to kiss the woman I love, wishes for the new year passing between our eyes as we look down at our beautiful children.

"Happy New Year, baby," I whisper as I run my fingers through Timothy's soft, blonde hair, pulling Sophia's little body closer to me so I can kiss her forehead.

"I don't know why, but I have a feeling this year is going to be amazing," Arizona says, my heart soaring with love and happiness as our family slumber party begins. I wrap my arms around the three loves of my life, silently wondering how I could ever wish for anything more.

**Chapter 2**

_**Arizona's POV:**_

Callie is going back to work today, and to say I'm a bit nervous is an understatement. It's silly, really. They're my kids…I can handle them alone. Right? Problem is…I'm not so sure. Timothy is a very good baby when my wife is around, but I'm pretty sure she's the love of his life right now. Don't get me wrong, I know he loves me too. But she's the one who can get him to sleep when he's fussy, with her beautiful face and her magical lullabies. Sometimes I feel like all Timothy needs me for is my boobs…boobs that I'm not even sure he really likes. I've tried not to let on, but I'm having a hard time with this breastfeeding thing. It takes the baby a while to latch on, and then once he does, he takes forever to eat. I feel like I am tied down to the rocking chair, or the couch, or our bed most of the day. And I'm sure Sophia feels that way too.

Sophia…my sweet, little peanut. She is doing as well as can be expected with this big change, especially considering she isn't even three years old. But there are definite moments of jealousy. Moments where she can't handle the time and attention her brother demands. Moments where she cries…or screams…or has tantrums like we've never seen. Callie says it's all just part of adjusting…that she'll get used to sharing her life with Timothy…that she'll get over it. I don't know. Sometimes it feels as if Sophia just wants to run away from this new life. And sometimes, I think I'd like to join her.

"What exactly are you trying to say, Arizona?" Callie asks from our bathroom as she scrambles to get ready for work. "You wish we never had another baby? Cause I mean, that's…"

"No, of course not. I love Timothy with all of my heart, and I know the beginning is the hardest. It was like that with Sophia too. It's just…everything was so easy before. Sophia was happy. We weren't exhausted, and if we were, it was only because of the copious amounts of amazing sex we were having."

"And we can have that amazing sex again…just not for another five weeks," Callie interjects before I can continue rambling. "I get it, babe. Really, I do. Life is a bit more challenging with two kids."

I can't help the crazy laugh that escapes my mouth at that statement, and I can see my wife rolling her eyes at me in the mirror. "Okay, so it's _a lot _more challenging. But we knew this would happen. And it will get easier over time. Before you know it, everything will be back to normal and we won't be able to remember what life was like before Timothy."

"Easy for you to say," I huff, leaning against the bathroom door with my arms crossed over my chest. "You're the one who gets to cut someone open today. You're the one who gets to eat lunch with all of our friends, and hear all about the drama we've been missing for the past three weeks…while I'm stuck here with the kids."

"Stuck?" Callie practically yells as she pushes past me, grabbing her scrubs off the dresser on her way out of the bedroom. "I'm pretty sure we both decided to do this…to have a baby. Nobody forced this on you, Arizona," she says as she turns back, shooting daggers at me with her eyes. "And for the record…I would love to be the one _stuck_ here with our beautiful babies."

Callie takes a moment to peek into Sophia's room, whispering _I love you _to our little girl before crossing the hall to the nursery. I follow her silently, the sting of her last comment lingering in my heart. I can see her looking at me out of the corner of her eye as she bends over Timothy's crib, her own eyes full of sorrow. "Mama is going to miss you so much, little man," she tells our sleeping boy, the combination of her words and the look in her eyes increasing the guilt within me.

"Wow…way to make me feel like crap," I mutter, anger building with every passing second. "So sorry I can't be the perfect mother like you. So sorry that I'm the one who's drained from nursing. So sorry that I'm the one who actually wants to connect with the outside world this time. Guess you seem to have forgotten what all of this felt like after Sophia came home."

"No, I didn't forget," Callie says, her clenched fists slowly unfolding. "I'm sorry, baby. Really, I am. I'm sorry that you're having a hard time. And I promise, I'll do anything I can to help you…as soon as I get home later. Okay? But right now…right now, I have got to get to work."

I just stand there and nod, sighing in defeat as I watch my wife gather her belongings and heads towards the front door. "I'm sorry for freaking out, Cal. I'm just…"

"A tired mother with a newborn," Callie says, placing her bag down beside her and pulling me into her arms. "I _do_ remember, Arizona. I had a tough time when you went back to work too. But I got through it. And so will you. And hey, at least you have the peanut to keep you company. She's always good at making you smile."

"Yeah, she is," I reply truthfully, a smile forming already at the thought of our adorable daughter. "Alright…go already," I say, tapping on the shoulder my chin is nestled into. I pull back to find a pair of warm, chocolate eyes staring at me, the love shining in them giving me a boost of confidence. "I can do this."

"Yes…yes, you can," Callie whispers as she leans in for a kiss, her soft lips erasing all of my fears momentarily. "Have a wonderful day. I'll call you when I can. I love you."

"I love you too," I say, sadness and doubt creeping back in the moment her lips leave mine. "Have a great day back. Tell everyone I said hello."

Callie nods and smiles as she pushes open the front door, a wave of black hair all I can see as she makes her way through the misty fog.

It isn't long before the soft cries of our little surprise fill the air, my weary body slowly drudging towards the nursery. "Hey there, little man. Mommy's here," I tell my son as I lift him into my arms.

"Mommy…Mommy, I need you," Sophia wines from across the hall, the tiny bit of energy I had zapped with the realization that this is going to be one long day.

"I can do this," I say again, this time only to myself. "Coming, sweetie," I holler to Sophia as I finish changing Timothy's diaper, my own blue eyes mirrored in the ones below me. "Come on, buddy…let's go see your big sister."

When I arrive at Sophia's room a few seconds later, my peanut looks anything but pleased to see Timothy in my arms. And it only makes matters worse when the baby starts screaming to be fed, as usual. "Tell my brudder to stop crying, Mommy," Sophia begs, covering her ears with her little hands. "I no wanna listen to that sound."

"I don't want to either, honey," I tell her in all honesty as I sit down at the edge of her bed and put Timothy to my breast. The baby is squirming around, like he always does when it's time to eat, his mouth thrashing back and forth over my nipple. "Come on, little man…please. Please, just eat." But Timothy continues to cry, issuing a high pitched squeal from deep within his lungs.

"Make him stop," Sophia screams, her fists clenched in anger just like her mama's were a little while ago. "Be quiet, Timmy. No more crying."

My head is spinning, blood boiling in my veins as both Sophia and Timothy continue to vent their frustrations. And it's only eight o'clock. Callie hasn't even been gone an hour yet. _I'm never going to make it through this day_, I think to myself as I continue to offer the baby my breast. I thrust my nipple into his mouth and move it back and forth…and finally, after a moment, he latches on and begins to eat. "Thank God," I breathe out, shifting my focus from the now content baby to Sophia, who is still screaming at the top of her lungs. "Okay. Okay, that's enough now. Your brother is eating, so let's be quiet."

Sophia looks as though she is repulsed by the sight before her, quickly turning her head away from me and her brother. Even though her back is to me, I can see her arms crossed over her chest…a mannerism she definitely gets from me. I want nothing more than to take away her anxiety…calm her fears…pull her into my arms and tell her that her mommy is still right here. That no one, including her brother, will ever be more important to me than she is. But I can't move. I can't move because Timothy is eating, and moving threatens my chances of him stay latched on. And the last thing I need right now is for him to start wailing again. It's a no win situation.

So I reach my hand out and touch Sophia's shoulder, whispering, "I'm sorry Timmy takes so much of Mommy's time right now, peanut. Remember how we talked about this? How babies have to eat a lot when they are really little?" Sophia slowly nods, her head turning in my direction despite her reluctance to look me in the eyes. "He'll be done pretty soon. And then…then we can, we can do whatever you want. Okay?"

I see a small smile forming at the corners of her mouth, her teary brown eyes locked with mine as she finally moves to face me. "I wanna go outside and play in the snow, Mommy," Sophia exclaims wildly, her little body bouncing up and down on the bed.

"Oh…oh, honey…I…we, we can't exactly go outside," I choke out, knowing that the response will crush her.

"But Mommy…you said, you said we do anything me wanna do," she cries, tears filling her beautiful eyes once more.

"I know, sweetie. I know I did. But, but Timmy is too little to go outside in the cold," I explain, trying to keep my own emotions in check. "Mommy should have been more specific. I'm sorry." Sophia turns her back to me again, covering her ears so she doesn't have to be reasoned with. "Sophia…peanut, come on. We can do anything you want…._inside_ the house. How about play-doh?" She just ignores me, her hands pressed tightly over her ears. "We could paint? Or, or play with your new dollhouse? The one your Abuela gave you for Christmas." Still, her hands do not move. I can tell that none of my suggestions are going to be suitable today. "Please, honey….I'm sorry."

"I wanna go in the snow," Sophia yells loudly, ears still covered. "You say me can pick. I pick the snow."

"Sophia, Mommy will go outside with you as soon as Mama gets home later. How about that?" I ask, cringing when I see the angry look on her face. I've never seen my little girl this mad before.

"Noooooooooooo," she screams, thrashing around in the bed violently. Between the sudden motion and the terrifying squeal, Timothy gets very startled. He releases the nipple in his mouth, his cries rivaling those of his very pissed off sister. Once again, my blood is boiling under my skin. _I can't do this_. I said I could…but I can't. It's too much. I'm going to lose it.

"Mommy is going to go take a little break," I tell Sophia as I carry Timothy out of her bedroom, exiting quickly so I don't have to see the sadness in her eyes again.

I head straight for the nursery and place the baby back in his crib, where I know he'll be safe. Both kids are still screaming when I get to my own bedroom, the sounds piercing my ears and my soul. "I _can't _do this," I repeat over and over again as I try to get as far away from the cries as possible. I press my back up against the bathroom door once I am locked inside the small room, finally releasing a cry of my own. The tears fall hard and fast as I let out my frustration, quiet screams protruding from my covered mouth. My lips feel as if they are bruising beneath my hands in my effort to keep Sophia from hearing me.

I realize my efforts were all in vain a few minutes later, when I hear a soft knocking on the bathroom door. "Mommy? You crying, Mommy?" a sweet, little voice asks through the steel barrier between us, the doorknob rattling as my daughter tries to get to me.

I suck in a deep breath and wipe the tears from under my eyes before reaching back to unlock the door. "I _can_ do this," I say with conviction, feeling better now that I got everything out of my system.

I close my eyes, continuing to breath deeply until I feel a hand on my shoulder. Blue eyes meet brown as a head of black curls peeks in from behind the door, Sophia's face full of concern. "Hi, Mommy," she whispers as her hand moves from my shoulder to my face, chubby fingers wiping the last remaining tear from my cheek. "I sorry I not behaving, Mommy. I wanna be a good girl now. I no want you to cry."

I look up into the sad, brown orbs that are staring at me and quickly pull my peanut into my arms. "Oh, sweetie….you are a good girl. You were just frustrated, like Mommy. It's okay to get upset about things, Sophia. And it's okay to cry about it. Crying makes you feel better sometimes," I say, speaking more for myself than the little girl before me.

Sophia doesn't look too convinced that everything is indeed okay, so I flash her a dimpled smile as I reach my fingers out to tickle her little belly. She squeals in delight, laughing wildly for a moment before throwing herself into my lap and hugging me tight.

This time, the smile on my face is anything but forced, the love of my little girl brightening my day. "How about this? How about we start over? Does that sound like a good idea, peanut?" I ask as I look down into her adoring eyes. Sophia nods, offering me a smile of her own. I move her off of my lap and stand up, taking her hand as we walk down the hallway. "Now, your brother needs to finish eating. So let's get something for you to do in the nursery while Mommy feeds him, okay?" Sophia nods, dropping my hand to run in the direction of the playroom. "Alright, let's try this again," I whisper as I enter Timothy's room, determined to make this day better.

The rest of the morning goes by pretty quickly, my more relaxed attitude apparently rubbing off on the kids. Timothy doesn't fuss quite as much when it comes to eating, and Sophia remains patient when waiting for my attention. It's really like we hit a reset button, the little meltdown we all had this morning long forgotten. I am in the middle of making Sophia and I lunch when the phone rings, the clock on the stove indicating it's Callie's lunchtime too.

"Hello," I say when I pick up the phone, smiling down at the little boy kicking and cooing in his bouncy seat.

"Hey babe," Callie says, happiness evident in her voice. "'Having a good day with the kids?"

I contemplate telling her about our rough start this morning, but decide against it. I need to retain my confidence, and telling my wife that I lost control and basically ran away from our children will not help me do that. Callie will ask all sorts of questions…worry about what's happening while she's not here. That's the last thing I need right now.

"Great. We're having a great day. A few bumps in the road, but nothing I couldn't handle," I say, the statement mostly true. A lump of guilt forms in my throat, but I quickly swallow it down and move on. "So…how's work going? Everyone glad to have you back, I presume."

"Yeah, the gang was happy to see me I guess," Callie answers, her tone losing its happiness. "So, how's my little angel? I miss him so much, Arizona. And, and Sophia? She doing okay?"

"We're good," I reply, glancing back down at Timmy, who has bounced himself right to sleep. "I'm trying not to ruin the mac and cheese. The baby just passed out in his bouncy seat. Sophia is playing dress up with Dorado again…against his will, I think. Everything is good." Callie laughs that beautiful laugh, and my heart is filled with love and longing. "We miss you though. _I_ miss you very much," I whisper, tenderness in my voice.

"I miss you too, baby," Callie says, her voice cracking a bit. "Well, I'd better go get some lunch before my leg amputation this afternoon. "This guy was stuck out in the snow for almost two days…severe frostbite. Only way to control it is to remove the leg."

"Wow, that's terrible," I remark, thinking of the voyage my wife made during the blizzard a few weeks ago. "At least he has the best orthopedic surgeon in the world working on him. I can almost feel Callie smiling through the phone as she thanks me for the compliment.

"The surgery should take about three to four hours…then, I'll be heading home," Callie says after a moment of comfortable silence. "I love you, Arizona. Give those beautiful babies a kiss for me. Tell them their mama loves them very much."

"Will do," I whisper. "See you later, baby."

I hang up the phone and call Sophia in to have lunch, giving her and Timothy the promised kiss and letting them each know how much my wife misses and adores them. Sophia and I play tic-tac-toe over our macaroni and cheese, laughing every time Dorado comes to beg for another scrap. Timothy sleeps the whole time we are eating, giving Sophia and I some much needed time alone. "So, what are we going to do when we go play in the snow later?" I ask my daughter, wanting her to know I haven't forgotten my promise.

"Make a snowman, Mommy. I wanna make a great, big snowman with you," Sophia tells me, her big, brown eyes lighting up.

The afternoon goes by a bit more slowly, my desire to see my wife increasing with each passing hour. I decide to let Sophia watch a movie while I feed Timothy again, and am thankful that she is sound asleep on the couch when I return. For the first time all day, I am actually able to rest. I lay down on the other end of the couch with the sleeping baby on my chest, intending just to close my eyes for a while.

I am more than surprised to hear the front door creak, my eyes opening wide to find my beautiful wife staring down at me. I spring up, clutching to Timothy as I glance at the clock, shocked to see it is after five already. "Shhh….sorry I woke you," Callie whispers, placing a gentle kiss to my forehead before studying our little surprise, her hand placed over her heart when he lets out a heavy sigh. "Oh my goodness, little man," my wife cries as her eyes roam over our son's tiny body. She then notices Sophia asleep at the other end of the couch, only a little hand and a few curls sticking out from under our giant blanket. "Looks like everyone took a little nap together."

"Mmmm, guess so," I reply, trying to snap out of my groggy state. I pass Timmy to Callie, knowing she is just dying to get her hands on him. The baby notices the change, blue eyes opening up to brown for a second before he drifts back to sleep. "I, I didn't even realize I fell asleep. Or, or how late it was. I hope Sophia isn't up all night now."

Upon hearing her name, our peanut rolls over, pushing the blanket away from her face. "Mama," she croaks happily, her eyes fixed on Callie once she sees her. "You home, Mama."

"Yes, sweet girl. Mama is home," Callie says as she places Timothy back in my arms, quickly moving to where Sophia is resting. "I missed you today. Were you a good girl for Mommy?"

Sophia gives me an inquiring look, unsure how to answer her mama's question. "She was awesome," I say quickly, wanting to avoid rehashing this morning's debacle.

"I tell Mommy I sorry, and I no be a bad girl," Sophia announces, causing my wife to raise an eyebrow. I shrug my shoulders, as if I have no idea what Sophia's talking about. "I no want Mommy to cry anymore," Sophia whispers, burying her head into the couch cushion.

"Arizona…" Callie says, desperately trying to look me in the eye. I avoid making contact with those big, brown orbs, knowing it's all over once I do.

"What?" I ask as I get up and place Timothy in his bouncy seat, quickly making my way into the kitchen. "Come on, Sophia…let's get ready to go outside in the snow," I say once I finish my glass of water, hoping Callie will just let it drop.

"Arizona," she calls again, hands planted firmly on her hips. "Don't try and dance around this. Why were you crying, baby? Tell me what happened."

"Fine…I will," I huff as I pull the snow gear out of the hall closet. "As soon as we come in." Callie gives me that look, but I stop her before she can get even one more word out. "I promised her, Calliope. Please…just let me take our daughter out in the snow first. Please…"

"Okay," Callie breathes out after a moment, sighing in defeat. "But we are going to talk about this…whatever it is." Brown eyes meet blue, and despite everything-my reluctance to tell my wife what happened…the guilt I am still feeling over the whole situation…the tiny bit of doubt still lingering in my head-despite it all, I know she will understand. The unending love in her eyes tells me that…tells me everything is going to be okay.

I cross the room to where she is standing and place a lingering kiss on her cheek, inhaling her sweet, Callie scent. "Why don't you call and order us a pizza," I suggest, glancing back to where Timothy is sleeping. "Your little honey over there is going to be up soon, and I'm sure you'd rather spend some time with him than slave over a hot stove." Callie nods in agreement, a smile forming at the corner of her mouth. "We can have a nice, family dinner…put the kids to bed…and then, we can talk."

An hour later, Sophia and I are chilled to the bone…our snowman looking much more toasty than either one of us with his top hat and wool scarf wrapped around his neck. We shed our wet clothing and get into our pajamas just as the doorbell rings, signaling our pizza has arrived.

"I'll get it," I tell my wife when I see her start to move from her very comfortable position in the rocking chair. "I'll get everything set up, then we can switch. You can eat with Sophia while I feed the little man."

Callie shakes her head in agreement before looking back down at our beautiful boy, completely mesmerized with every little thing he does. I stand in the doorway and just watch her with him, still so in awe of her as a mother. Calliope Torres with a baby in her arms may possibly be the most beautiful thing I've ever seen. But I usually say that about my wife, no matter what she is doing…holding our children, talking to a patient, making love to me. She is just gorgeous.

"You gonna go get that pizza or what, babe?" Callie whispers, chocolate orbs melting my soul when she catches me staring. Those big, brown eyes make their way from my face…to my chest…to my hips…to the place Callie and I both desperately need her to be. I feel my cheeks start to blush, a wave of heat running through my entire body as Callie continues to undress me with her eyes. I offer her a shy smile before heading down the hall, both my heart and my sex throbbing when I hear her say, "Five more weeks. I can wait five more weeks."

Once I've paid for our dinner, generously tipping the delivery guy who seems anything but pleased to be kept waiting so long, I grab some plates and serve us all a slice of pizza. I wolf down a few bites before going in to relieve my wife, reminding her that Sophia has already washed her hands. I can hear my two girls talking and laughing as I feed the baby, not another mention of the morning's ordeal.

"You like my nails, Mama?" Sophia asks. "Mommy paint them for me."

"I love your nails, peanut," Callie replies, oohing and aahing over the dark blue nail polish that adorns her own fingernails all the time.

Callie tells Sophia all about the daycare, being sure to let her know how much Zola and the other kids miss her. "You sure you don't wanna go to school at all, Sophia?" Callie asks, my heart stopping for a moment as I wait for Sophia to answer.

After Timothy was born, we thought it was best to let Sophia decide where she would spend her days. With the exception of her time with Mark or any days Callie has off completely, we have given her the option to stay home or go to daycare. I figured being here with me and the baby would get old, especially after the first few weeks. But every time she's been asked, she declines going to daycare.

And tonight is no exception. "Nuh uh," I hear her little voice protest. "Me no wanna go to school. Me wanna stay home with Mommy and baby Timmy."

"You got it, Soph. Just remember…it's okay if you want to go play with your friends," Callie says. "You let me or Mommy know if you change your mind."

"She won't," I say, coming up behind Sophia's chair and peppering her chubby cheek with kisses. "We have way too much fun. Right, munchkin?"

"Yup. I have lots and lots of fun with Mommy," Sophia says almost inaudibly, her mouthful of pizza making it hard to understand her.

Callie practically rips Timothy out of my arms, shoving a plate full of pizza in my direction. "Here…eat," she demands, her lips covering our son's white blonde hair. "Hello again, beautiful boy. Yes…yes, you are so beautiful. Just like your mommy."

Callie lifts her eyes to meet mine, causing me to blush yet again. I can't help but smile…which makes Callie smile…which makes Sophia smile. Sauce and cheese oozes out of her little mouth with her wide grin, causing everyone to laugh and smile some more. Even the baby looks like he is smiling…of course, most people would say it's just gas.

After dinner, we play a few rounds of hide and go seek before bedtime, hoping all the running will wear Sophia out. Between that and our hour spent outside earlier, she is surprisingly willing to go to bed, grabbing her bunny and calling Dorado as she skips towards her room. Callie reads to her in Spanish, a new tradition that began once the baby arrived. Callie says it's her way of connecting with Sophia…sharing something that only the two of them can share. Usually, Sophia begs her mama to keep reading so she can learn as many new words as possible. But tonight, she is just too tired…halfway through the third book, her little head flops down on the pillow. "Buenas noches, mi amor," Callie whispers as she kisses our beautiful girl goodnight.

"I love you, peanut," I say as I turn out the light, so glad to have her in my life.

Callie says she is going to take a quick shower while I nurse the baby, giving each of us a quick kiss on her way to the bathroom. "Don't even think about falling asleep on me, Arizona," she warns when I settle into our bed with Timothy. "We're still having that talk."

I grunt and roll my eyes, causing my wife to snicker triumphantly. In all honesty, I am glad she is forcing me to tell her what happened. The guilt of keeping it from her would have killed me…even though, nothing _really_ happened.

I am very glad that Timothy seems to be just as tired as his sister, his weary body going limp in my arms halfway through my second breast. I put him down in the bassinet just as my wife emerges from the bathroom, slight disappointment on her face when she realizes the baby is asleep already.

Callie barely has time to get dressed before I start rambling, wanting to get this whole thing out of the way so I can spend some time with the woman I've been missing all day long. "So…so, this morning didn't really start out so well. I um…well, the kids were both…they were both very unhappy. And I…"

"Why?" Callie asks, cutting me off. I raise my eyebrows in confusion. "Why were they so unhappy?"

"Oh, oh…um, well the baby was hungry," I say, picking up where I left off. "He had just woken up and wanted to be nursed. Then Sophia woke up…she was screaming for me too and, and wasn't too thrilled that I couldn't give her my full attention. The more Timothy cried, the more upset Sophia got…and then we all, we all just kind of lost it."

"What do you mean…lost it?" Callie asks, genuine concern written all over her face.

"Sophia screamed like I've never heard her scream before," I tell my wife, her eyes widening. "She really scared the baby…and he, he stopped eating. Then he started screaming too…wailing almost. And I just…I couldn't take it anymore." Callie really looks nervous now, and I can tell she is anticipating what I'm about to say next. "So I put the baby in his crib…told Sophia I needed a break…and I, I locked myself in our bathroom and cried. That's what she was talking about, okay?"

"Oh, baby….I'm, I'm so sorry," Callie says, her tone laced with sympathy. "I'm sorry that your day started out so crappy. I'm sorry I wasn't here."

"Not your fault," I say truthfully, feeling ashamed of my behavior. I walk away from my wife, not wanting her to see the pain in my eyes. "None of it was your fault…or theirs. It was me. I was the one who couldn't handle it. I failed them," I whisper, tears burning the back of my eyes.

"Hey…hey, look at me," Callie says, taking my hands in hers. "You did _not _fail our children. You had a moment of weakness…lost your cool a little maybe. But you certainly did not fail anyone," she says, ducking down to meet my eyes. "What happened after you went into the bathroom and cried?"

"I um, I got myself together and went about the day," I say, knowing what she is trying to do. "It felt good…to cry. To let out that frustration. I told Sophia that when she came looking for me…that it was okay to have a meltdown every once in a while. Anyway, after that…after that, everything seemed better. I was calmer, and it…it seemed to make the kids feel calmer too. I meant it when I said we had a great day. Aside from that incident, it really was great."

"Exactly," Callie says proudly, holding my chin in her hand. "You didn't lock yourself in the bathroom and neglect the kids all day. You took a break…did what you had to do to. Then you went right back to being the amazing mother you are. You didn't fail, Arizona. You succeeded…much, much more than most people do."

I wipe the tears from my eyes and smile, looking deep into Callie's eyes. "You know, you keep telling me you're not perfect. But it's pretty hard to believe, especially when you always know just the right thing to say," I tease before leaning in to steal a kiss.

"Mmmm…I've been waiting for that all day," she whispers against my lips, her long eyelashes hitting my cheeks. "And I am far from perfect, baby. I'm just…experienced. I've been there…gone through exactly what you're going through. I've played the part of the tense, frustrated, exhausted new mom…stuck at home with a baby, feeling overwhelmed. Now it's my turn to play the other part…the tired, disappointed, and heartbroken mom, who desperately misses her wife and kids all day. Wanna trade?"

"Hmmm, let's see," I say, tapping my finger on my chin in contemplation. "No thanks."

Callie and I both laugh, finding comfort in one another's arms. Hugs quickly turn to loving caresses, which quickly turn to passionate touches. "Five more weeks, huh?" I whisper into my wife's neck before attaching my lips to the spot I know drives her wild.

"Uh huh," she moans into my hair, her hands wrapped firmly around my hips for a moment before she pushes herself off of me. "Five more weeks of torture."

I laugh, licking my lips before going back for more. We stand there, just kissing, until our little angel wakes up and demands our attention. "He's lucky he looks like you," Callie says as she leans over the bassinet, pride and joy beaming from her gorgeous eyes.

"Now you know how Sophia gets to me so easily," I say with a chuckle.

I climb into bed beside my wife, the two of us smiling down at our little miracle. This morning, I wasn't so sure I was going to make it through this day. But I did, and I am so glad I get to do it all over again tomorrow.

Tomorrow will be another day. Another day of trials and tribulations. Another day of failures and triumphs. Another day full of surprises. But it's another day. Another day with three beautiful, wonderful people…people who I love with all my heart. Another day with my family…and that is all that matters.

**Chapter 3**

_**Callie's POV:**_

I really dislike going to work these days. It's not that I don't love my job. I do. I love practicing medicine, performing surgery, and saving lives. I just don't love any of those things as much as I love my brand new baby boy. Being away from him for anywhere between eight and eighteen hours at a clip is awful, heartbreaking, almost unbearable.

Aside from missing Timothy, I also have to leave my wife…who, in some ways, is a mother for the first time again. Arizona is struggling somewhat with breastfeeding, but is too stubborn and determined to give up…even though I told her our baby would turn out just fine if he was bottle fed. Between producing all that milk and getting up every few hours to feed our little surprise, my wife is exhausted.

And then, there's Sophia. Arizona and I were pleasantly surprised when Timmy was born and she handled things so well. She was interested in her brother…loving, attentive, gentle. Our peanut did not appear to be jealous or upset in any way. That is, until I went back to work a few weeks ago. Once Sophia realized she wouldn't have at least one of her moms' attention all day long, her tune quickly changed. She pulls on my wife's heartstrings all day long, pleading for her to stop feeding the always hungry baby and just play with her. I think the emotional strain is starting to get to Arizona, but she wouldn't dream of sending Sophia to daycare while she is home.

And so from the moment I walk in the door, I have three very demanding people throwing themselves and all of their emotions on me, which often makes for a very draining evening. So yeah…I don't like going to work these days. And sometimes, coming home doesn't seem much better.

But this is what happens when your life changes…when you add a new tiny human to the mix. Things get crazy for a while. Everyone has to adjust. I just hope this adjustment doesn't take much longer because I want my perky wife and happy little girl back.

"Babe…hey, Arizona," I call to my wife when I open the front door, the unusually quiet home making me a bit nervous. I drop my purse and keys on the kitchen counter, meandering slowly down the hallway when I notice the light on in the nursery. "Are you guys in here?" I ask, pushing back the door to reveal the most beautiful scene…Arizona sound asleep in the rocking chair with Timothy on her chest, and Sophia sitting on the floor beside them looking at some books. "Hi, peanut," I whisper to the adorable little girl before me, gaining a huge smile and squeal of excitement.

"Mama…yay, you home," Sophia yells, despite my best efforts to keep her quiet. "Mommy…look." Sophia drops the book in her hand and comes running to me, her little arms reaching out for me to pick her up. I gladly do, peppering her face with as many kisses as I can get in before she wiggles out of my arms and runs over to Arizona. "Mommy…Mama's home."

"Mmmm…yes, sweetie. I see that," Arizona croaks out in her groggy state, sitting up in the chair to greet me with a beautiful, dimpled smile. "Hey there, gorgeous," she whispers as I make my way towards her and our son. "When did you get home?"

"Just now," I say as I lean in for a tender kiss, pulling back slightly to look in her eyes. "Mmmm, I missed you. How was your day with our munchkins?"

"It was really good actually," Arizona says as she passes me the sleeping bundle I can't wait to get my hands on. "Nursing was…well, the same as it has been. I've been pumping a lot though, and he seems to like the bottle. So that's good, I guess."

"And how was she?" I mumble in an effort to keep Sophia from overhearing me, crossing my fingers behind my back in hopes that our daughter was better behaved today.

"Sophia was a really, really good girl today, Mama," Arizona says loud and clear. "I've sort of hired her as my helper, right peanut?" Sophia whips her head in our direction, smiling proudly as she nods her little head. "She's been getting me diapers…throwing the dirty ones in the trash…washing bottles with me. She is the best helper ever."

"Thank you, Mommy," Sophia says as she continues to thumb through _The Three Little Pigs_. "I like to help Mommy, Mama. She give me candy if I do my job."

My eyes grow wide in disbelief and I whip my head in Arizona's direction. "Bribing her with candy, Mommy. Wow, you _are_ desperate."

Arizona scoffs in mock offense as she sits down beside our peanut, glaring at me through her laughter. "I am not desperate, Callie. It works…so, so I'm going with it."

Just then, the doorbell rings and everyone grows very quiet. "Wonder who that could be," I say, although I know full well who it is.

"Daddy. Daddy, Daddy, Daddy," Sophia exclaims, dropping her book and running full force towards the front door. "I coming Daddy."

"I'll go get her stuff together," I tell my wife as I place our little boy in her arms, leaving him with a gentle kiss.

"Already packed, Cal," Arizona hollers before I even make it across the hall to Sophia's room. "It's on her dresser. Just have to grab her toothbrush out of the bathroom. Oh…and, and her bunny."

"Got it," I yell as I stuff the floppy, white rabbit into Sophia's pink backpack. I grab a piece of paper off of the kitchen counter and leave our peanut a little note. _We love you so much. Have a great day with Daddy tomorrow. Sweet dreams. Love, Mama, Mommy, and Timmy xoxo_

"Hey, Cal," Mark says as he pets Dorado, the dog's tail wagging incessantly.

"Hey," I reply, holding out Sophia's bag for him. "There's something special in the front pocket. So, what are your plans for tomorrow?"

"Um, let's see. We're gonna sleep really late, right Soph?" Sophia and I both laugh, knowing that's not gonna happen. "Then we're going to the aquarium with Uncle Derek and Zola," Mark announces, our daughter's eyes growing wide with excitement. "I thought you'd like that, kiddo."

"Yay! Me love the fishies, Daddy," Sophia squeals, running around in circles.

"What's gotten into her?" I hear my wife ask as she comes to join us, our son sleeping soundly in her arms.

"She's excited because she's going to see the fishies with Zola tomorrow," I inform Arizona. I grab Sophia as she makes another loop around us, throwing her over my shoulder to tickle her before giving her a hug and kiss goodbye.

I then take Timothy from Arizona, lowering him down in front of Sophia. She kisses the top of his head, whispering goodnight to her brother. Our daughter then heads over to her mommy, jumping into Arizona's arms and hugging her tight. "I see you tomorrow night, Mommy," Sophia says in between hugs and kisses.

"Promise?" Arizona asks, blue eyes staring into the big, brown ones before her. Sophia nods her little head, giving her mommy one last hug before running back to Mark.

"Okay, ladies…enjoy your evening. We will see you tomorrow…probably around four or so. I think I'm on at five," Mark says as he opens the door. "Ready to rock and roll, kiddo?"

Sophia nods once more, waving goodbye before taking her daddy's hand and heading down the driveway. "Love you, baby girl," I yell before they are out of sight, letting out a deep sigh when I close the front door a moment later. "You think we'd be used to this by now…her being away from us a few nights a week. But it still sucks to watch her go," I say, my lips plumping up to form a pout.

Timothy is starting to squirm in my arms, indicating he is ready for his supper. "I know, babe. I miss her already," Arizona says as she settles into the couch, lifting her shirt up to unclasp her bra. "But we still have this little man to love. Yes, you are very loveable…aren't you, Timothy?"

I sit beside my wife as she nurses our son, watching her in awe as I always do. "What?" she asks when my eyes move up from her breasts to her face, a loving smile fixed on my mouth.

"I'm sure you're probably sick of hearing this, but you look so beautiful when you feed him," I say sincerely, my heart skipping a beat when I see my wife's cheeks turn pink. "I mean it, Arizona. There's something about you nursing him that is just so, so…"

"I know, baby," Arizona whispers, using her free hand to grab mine. "How many times did you catch me staring at you with Sophia? I'm sure you lost count." We both giggle at the truth in that statement, and I can't help but smile as I think back on those days. "I just couldn't keep my eyes off of you," Arizona says after a moment, blue eyes penetrating my soul. "I still cant…"

I feel a lump forming in my throat, warm blood running through my veins. Arizona's eyes are roaming over my entire body and before long, liquid is pooling between my thighs. It has been over six weeks since I've made love to my wife…felt her bare flesh on mine…touched her, tasted her. New Year's Eve we got carried away for a bit, our little make out session by the fire leaving me hot and bothered for days. Since then, I've tried to keep a safe distance. For as horny as my wife was during pregnancy, I think I am ten times worse off now. It's like she transferred those raging hormones to me somehow. Or maybe I'm just in love with this beautiful, sexy woman…a woman I'm supposed to keep my hands off for another two weeks, desire slowly killing me.

My palms are sweating when I snap out of my sexual daze, lifting my eyes from the exposed breasts I want to worship as I quickly moving off of the couch. "I-I…I um, I-I-I'm gonna go see what I can fix us for dinner," I stammer, knocking Arizona's book off the coffee table when I spin around recklessly in an attempt to get as far away from temptation as possible.

"Everything okay, Calliope?" Arizona asks with a laugh, her eyes flirting with mine. She knows exactly why I'm running away from her…why I can't stand to be so close. But she tortures me anyway, licking her lips seductively as she follows me into the kitchen.

Timothy is happily fed, so Arizona places him in the bouncy seat and sits down at the counter, her shirt still purposely unbuttoned. My eyes naturally trail down her smooth, white neck to the swell of her breasts, her cleavage taunting me. "That's just…that's just mean," I say after a moment of staring, turning away from her again to rummage through the fridge. "How about this casserole Teddy brought over for us?" I ask, gaining nothing but a seductive look.

I glance over at Timothy, who has fallen asleep in the bouncy seat. "Damn it…can't use the baby to stop her now," I mumble to myself, smiling broadly at my wife when she raises her eyebrows. I continue to search for food, hoping Arizona is hungry. "Um, let's see…we could have the leftover lasagna from last night," I suggest, another huge, fake grin plastered on my face.

Arizona comes up behind me, wrapping her arms around my waist, her lips attaching to my neck. "I know what I want to eat," she whispers in my ear, flicking her tongue against the lobe.

"Arizona…" I moan, my heart rate increasing as she digs her fingertips into my hips, pulling my body back into hers. "Why are you doing this to me?" I whimper, wetness seeping through my panties. "When you were pregnant, I-I gave in to your every whim…I did everything you wanted me to do."

"I know…and believe me, I will be eternally grateful," she breathes into my neck before sinking her teeth in, lightly nipping the tender skin. "I'm just trying to repay the favor," she says as she slides a hand down my backside, dipping into my jeans to grab my ass.

Once again, the temperature is rising within my body. I don't know how much more of this I can take. "But, but Dr. Peterman said you need to wait until you're eight weeks postpartum," I choke out, squeezing my eyes shut tight as I try to erase all the dirty images from my mind.

Arizona continues to knead the tender flesh in her hand, fingers inching closer and closer to the place that is throbbing for her. "I know what Dr. Peterman said, Callie," she whispers, tugging on my hair until I look back at her. "I know _I_ can't have sex just yet, but that has nothing to do with you."

I grab her hand, pulling it out of my jeans as I turn to face her. "It has everything to do with me," I say quite seriously, brown eyes meeting blue. "I want _you_…I want to make love to _you_," I tell her, taking her hand in mine. "I can wait another thirteen days, baby…really, I can."

"I know you _can_…but why should you?" Arizona asks as she moves towards me, pushing my back up against the refrigerator. She leans in so close to me, her lips hovering over mine. "Why should I?" she whispers after a moment of just staring into my eyes, pure lust darkening her baby blues. "I want you too, Calliope. And I can have you. Right here…right now. That is…_if _you let me."

Of course, I want to let her…but it seems so unfair. Since the birth of our son, we've been longing for one another…wanting so badly to be intimate. "I want to make love to my wife," I say after a moment of contemplation, swallowing the lump in my throat. "I want to be inside of you…feel your naked body on top of me…take you to heaven and back."

Now Arizona is the one swallowing a lump, her eyes locked with mine as she takes in my words. "I want that too…believe me. I just thought…_never mind_," she whispers, pushing off of me quickly and walking into the living room.

"Arizona…wait," I yell after her, taking a deep breath as I follow her. Her back is toward me, but I can see her buttoning up her shirt as she releases a heavy sigh. "Baby, please…I, I didn't mean to upset you. I love you."

"I love you too," she says as she turns to face me, her beautiful eyes clouded with unshed tears. "I understand your reasons for wanting to wait."

"You do? Then why do you look so sad?" I ask, tentatively reaching out a hand to stroke her arm.

Arizona leans into my touch, her own arms stretched out for me. I quickly pull her into an embrace, kissing the top of her head when she buries it into my chest. "You gonna tell me what's going on in there?" I whisper, tapping my finger against her temple.

She looks up into my eyes, my heart breaking when I see her tear-stained cheeks. I reach down to wipe them, my lips tracing the path of my fingers once I am through. I can feel my wife smiling against my lips, her eyes regaining some of their sparkle when she pulls back to look at me. "I'm sorry, Callie. I know I've been kind of an emotional wreck since you went back to work. It's, it's just…this is hard. Being home all day…taking care of the kids…nursing the baby. I thought it would be easier for me, but it's not. Turns out I'm just like every other new mom," she says with a laugh, causing me to smile.

I weave my fingers through hers, giving them a gentle squeeze when I see her struggling to continue. "It's okay, babe. You can tell me how you're feeling. I'm not here to judge you. I'm here to _love _you…_support _you."

Arizona sucks in a deep breath, tightening her grip on my hands. "_I miss you_," she says, so low I can barely hear her. "When you're at work all day…I, I miss you so much." I open my mouth to speak, but she continues to ramble in true Arizona fashion. "And not just because I'm alone with the kids and it would be nice to have some company. I have company. Teddy is here every week on her day off…and, and you come home for lunch when you can. And I know I get to see you every night, and on the days that you're off. But it's, it's not the same. We're not the same anymore."

"Arizona…we _are_ the same," I manage to get out before she can keep going. "Our life is different now…yes. But we are the same. You and I are still the same two people, in love with one another. At least, _I'm _still in love with you," I tease.

"Of course I'm still in love with you, Calliope," she yells, pulling us back into the kitchen when her voice startles Timothy. "I'm still so madly and completely in love with you," she whispers this time, glancing behind us to make sure the baby is still sleeping. "That's the problem. All I want is _you_. I want to be the one laughing with you in the cafeteria. I want to be the one you snuggle with at night…the one who gets to lay on your chest. And I, I want _you_ to be the one waking me up in the middle of the night, begging me to make love to you…begging me to make you come so hard. I want _you_…all the time. And sometimes, it…it just feels like I am never going to have you again."

My heart is racing in my chest, the shock of my wife's admission knocking the wind out of me. I just stand there in silence, unable to speak…to move…to do anything besides _feel_ her words, over and over again.

"Are you still bleeding?" I whisper when Arizona's eyes fill with tears again, her head hung in shame as if I don't care…as if she just poured her heart out for nothing. Now _she_ is the one who is silent, jaw dropped and brow furrowed in confusion. "I said, are you still bleeding?" I ask, loud and clear this time.

"Um, n-no…no, I'm not," she replies, blue eyes penetrating my soul when they finally look into mine again. "It stopped about…about a week ago, I guess."

"And do you feel okay? You know…do you feel healed enough?" I ask as I step closer to the woman I love. Arizona simply nods, her eyes growing dark with desire. "Then please…please make love to me, baby," I beg as I wrap my arms around her, my lips almost touching hers. "I want to feel you inside of me. I want to come with you. Please…"

Her lips come crashing down upon mine, love and desire radiating from deep inside our souls. Soft, tender kisses soon turn into hard, passionate ones. I run my tongue over her bottom lip, sucking the tender flesh into my mouth to taste her. Arizona moans and pulls me in even closer, parting her lips and thrusting her warm tongue deep inside my mouth. We stand there, tongues battling for dominance, as each of us tries to express our love in the form of desperate kisses. "Are you sure?" she asks when we break for air, a hint of insecurity in her tone.

I slowly nod, biting my bottom lip as my eyes roam over her beautiful body. "Mmm hmm…I've never been more sure of anything," I tell her truthfully, needing to show her that I've been feeling exactly the same way she's been…that I've been desperately missing her too. "You think he'll be alright out here for a while?" I ask, gesturing to our sleeping angel in his little, blue seat.

Arizona runs over to the front door, checking to be sure it is locked. "Dorado…come here, boy," she calls to our beloved dog, who gladly trots in with his tail wagging. "Stay here with Timmy," Arizona says, motioning for the dog to lay down beside the baby. "He'll let us know if our little surprise wakes up," she assures me.

I double check that all the doors are locked, the worries of a mother never far from my mind. Once I am sure our little guy is safe and sound in our house, I take my wife's hand and lead her to our bedroom. I turn back a few times to gaze into those bright, blue eyes. Each time, I am met with a shy, dimpled smile…the smile that melts my heart.

When we finally arrive at our bedroom door, I push my wife up against it, smothering her with a heated kiss while my hands weave through her hair. Arizona reaches back to turn the doorknob, but I quickly grab her hand and lift it above her head. I then find the other one and do the same, pinning both of her arms up against the door before attaching my lips to hers again. "Cal…Cal, Callie. Please," Arizona breathes out, sapphire eyes growing dark with lust. She manages to break free from my grasp, one hand pulling my body into hers while the other grabs my hair. "Please, baby…I need you," she whispers against my lips, sending a rush of liquid through my core.

"I thought you wanted me to be the one begging," I tease as I work a hand underneath her shirt, covering her swollen breasts. When I feel the nursing pad under her bra, I pull my hand away suddenly, feeling a bit embarrassed for touching her there. "Sorry…forgot that these aren't mine right now," I whisper as the blush rises in my cheeks, my eyes lowered to avoid my wife's gaze.

Arizona inhales sharply, lifting my chin until brown eyes meet blue. "These are always yours," she says as she places my hand back over her breast, a hardened nipple meeting my thumb. "I am always yours."

I can't resist the urge to see more of her, so I rip her shirt over her head and throw it down on the floor. My eyes roam over every inch of exposed skin, my lips following them to taste this delicious woman. I know I can't do any more with her breasts, so I slide her bra straps over just enough to lick a trail from shoulders…to her neck…down to her cleavage, kissing every piece of her left uncovered.

"God, you are so beautiful," I whisper as I kneel down before her, unbuttoning her pants and slowly sliding them down her legs. I kiss the inside of her thigh, lightly at first, until Arizona's grip on my hair tightens, indicating she wants more. I then suck on this tender flesh, my favorite part of her gorgeous legs now between my lips and teeth. I continue to nip at her thigh, one hand grabbing her ass while the other dips down into her panties.

Arizona's knees begin to buckle when I bite down harder, the sensation causing her juices to flow over my fingers. "Please…let me make love to you now," I beg as I work my way back up her body, stopping here and there to leave my mark on the woman I love.

"Not yet," she replies as she opens our bedroom door, taking my hand to lead me to our bed. "My turn now," she says, pushing me roughly onto the mattress. Arizona doesn't waste a minute ridding me of my clothing, her soft hands grabbing the hem of my shirt. She inches the fabric up, kissing every piece of skin as it becomes exposed. She quickly unclasps my bra and yanks it off of me, her fingers working over the erect buds.

"Mmmm…you feel so good," I whimper when her lips hit my chest, her smooth tongue traveling from nipple to nipple.

"And _you _taste so good," Arizona moans, moving her tongue from my breasts to my mouth, leaving me with a searing kiss. My lips are bruised when a lack of oxygen causes us to break apart, but my loving wife erases any pain with a series of soft, tender kisses.

Again, my lungs feel like they are collapsing…but this time, it's only because she takes my breath away. Each kiss is sweeter and filled with more love, and I wonder how I've survived the past six weeks without this. "I've been dreaming of doing this for weeks now," Arizona tells me, her words mirroring my thoughts. She pulls back to look in my eyes, baby blues piercing my soul. "I meant what I said earlier…_you_ are all I want, Calliope," she whispers, the sincerity in her voice making my heart skip a beat.

With that, I can take no more…I finish the job of undressing, hastily removing my jeans and panties. Arizona follows suit, removing the pink boy shorts that have been driving me wild since we first started out in the hallway. I can feel my cheeks turning pink once more as she looks over my bare form, love radiating from her eyes. "Now?" I ask, hoping that she is ready to become one with me. "Now…_please_, please make love to me now."

She doesn't answer, but the way she is looking at me, I can tell she is just as ready as I am. Arizona's eyes are filled with tears as I pull her down upon me, our bodies pressed as closely together as possible. I roll our joined figures until we are side by side…hip to hip…face to face. My lips seek out her beautiful, porcelain skin, moving from her cheeks to her neck. I feel warm tears hit my cheeks, my own eyes burning with emotion.

I stop kissing her for a moment, brown eyes reflected in blue to be sure everything is alright. "I'm fine, Calliope," she says as if reading my mind. "I'm more than fine. I'm happy…so very happy, and so very in love."

I let my own tears falls and mingle with hers as my hands make their descent down her perfect body. With every touch, my wife pulls me in closer, fingertips digging into my back…my ass…my hips. I part my legs and slide a knee between her thighs, liquid coating my skin. We start a slow and steady rhythm, our throbbing cores grazing one another as we rock back and forth. An involuntary gasp leaves my mouth when I feel her pulsing clit rub against my own, further moans stifled by a passionate kiss. "I. Love You. Arizona," I manage to choke out as her fingers thrust in and out of me. "Come with me, baby," I say as I spread her legs a bit more, my fingers finally meeting her slick folds.

I push one finger inside of her, circling her tender flesh very cautiously. Fear of hurting her creeps back in, but my hesitation only lasts until she grabs my hand and shoves that finger deep inside of herself. "More…more, please. I want more of you, Calliope," my wife begs, the combination of her pleading voice and the look in her eyes sending a shiver down my spine.

I pull my finger out of her, the loss of contact causing her to whimper and moan. That moan quickly turns to one of pleasure when I add a second finger, pushing so deep inside of her. I can feel Arizona's walls trembling around my knuckles as fingertips reach the spot that only I know about…the spot that feels so good to touch. My own orgasm is building at the same time, sweat dripping between our shaking bodies. "Come for me, Arizona," I breathe into her ear before sinking my teeth down into her shoulder, my free hand holding her tight against my body. "Come _with_ me, baby."

Arizona looks deep into my eyes as she comes, flicking her thumb over my clit one last time to bring me to ecstasy with her. My eyes close on instinct, the sheer pleasure this woman is bringing me causing the whole world to go black for a moment. But I need to see her…need to see those amazing, blue eyes staring back at me. So I force my eyes to open, the intensity of my orgasm growing as I gaze deep into her soul…into my everything, my life, my whole world. "I love you, Calliope," she whispers softly against my lips, her eyes never breaking contact with mine.

Arizona's lips dance over my mouth for some time, our bodies still joined as neither one of us wants to let go. Tender, loving kisses are shared long after our lovemaking is over, light and dark legs wrapped around each other under paisley sheets. Arizona lays her head down on my chest, listening intently to the heart that beats only for her. And I just can't stop staring into those eyes, wondering how on earth I lived without making love to her for this long…wondering how on earth I lived at all without her in my life.

"I miss you too," I choke out, a lump suddenly forming in my throat again. "All day long…I think about you all day long, Arizona. And I don't just mean about how you're doing with the kids. I mean, I think about _you_…my wife, the woman I fell in love with. I think about those dimples…the indescribable color of your eyes…the way you feel in my arms."

I can tell my words have hit home by the way she looks at me, confirmation coming quickly in the form of the most passionate kiss I think I've ever felt. Laying her head down on my chest again, my wife whispers, "I just want to stay _here_ forever."

I kiss the top of her head, inhaling that intoxicating Arizona smell as a small chuckle escapes my mouth. Arizona pushes herself up to rest on an elbow, her eyes playfully questioning me. "What?" she asks, giggling a bit herself.

"I'd like to stay here forever too," I tell her, so much truth in that statement, despite the fact that I am laughing. "It's just…we have a dog watching our newborn baby."

Neither one of us can stop the laughter then, our bodies shaking together under the covers. "Yeah, I guess we should get back to our little man," Arizona agrees, leaving me with one last kiss before she gets out of bed. "Remind me to thank him for taking such a long nap," she says, flashing me a beautiful, dimpled smile. I lay in bed as my wife gets into her pajamas, unable to keep my eyes off of her. "You coming, Callie?" she asks as she stands in the doorway, the sound of our baby boy crying finally breaking me out of my daze.

The rest of our evening goes by much like most other evenings do. Arizona nourishes our little surprise, filling his tiny belly with her milk while I fill his tiny ears with his favorite lullaby. Once Timothy is tucked safely into his crib, my wife and I finally nourish our own bodies with Teddy's casserole. We straighten up the house…fold little onesies and pink tights…settle in on the couch to watch some TV.

Yes, tonight is just like every other night….except that something is different. Tonight…Arizona and I can't stop looking at one another, or touching one another, or kissing one another. Tonight…we are really and truly together- body, mind, and soul. Tonight…we don't have to miss each other anymore.

**Chapter 4**

_**Arizona's POV:**_

I am a little surprised to wake up this morning to nothing. No beautiful woman beside me…no baby boy in the bassinet…no loud noises from an energetic toddler. _Nothing_. There is nothing but peace and quiet. I roll over and look at the clock, my eyes bulging out of my head when I see that it is after ten. I spring up out of bed, sliding my cold feet into Callie's fuzzy, black slippers before shuffling down the hallway in search of my family.

I round the corner into the kitchen, expecting to find my peanut standing on her pink stool, cooking breakfast with her mama. I expect to find my little man happily bouncing away in his seat, cooing at the raven-haired beauty who owns his heart. I expect to find my wife in her apron, swaying to music as she flips pancakes, her gorgeous smile lighting up the room. But again, I find _nothing_. The house is empty…silent…cold.

I walk over to the thermostat, adjusting the temperature until I hear the heat kick on. This has been a brutal winter so far, and there doesn't appear to be an end in sight. We've have two blizzards already, and more snow than I can remember seeing since my dad was stationed in South Dakota. I pull back the kitchen curtain to see small, white flakes floating through the air. The February wind is whistling as it blows through the trees, its sound the only thing letting me know this isn't just a dream.

My mind wanders back to the time when I was a child, living on the base in South Dakota. My brother and I would head out with our sleds as soon as the sun came up, spending our entire day sliding down steep hills outside Fort Ellsworth. Tim would tease me incessantly every time we went out in the cold, my nose always turning as red as Santa's famous reindeer's. "Come on, Rudolph," he would say once I started to shiver. "Let's go in and have some of Mom's chicken soup." And my mother would be there at the front door, waiting for us to come home, a pot of homemade soup bubbling on the stove. I can't help but smile as I recollect those carefree days. Days spent with the best friend I ever had growing up…the best friend I lost way too soon…the best friend I thought I'd never find again, until I met my wife.

I snap out of my reverie when Callie's face appears behind my lids, the desire to see her overwhelming as I stand in our big, empty kitchen all alone. A loud bang on the sliding glass door suddenly startles me, causing me to jump back in fright. "You scared me, buddy," I say once I move towards the door, a ball of yellow fur waiting anxiously to be let in from the cold. "Mama forget to let you in before she went out with the kids?" Dorado doesn't answer, but quickly slides past me, wagging his tail happily once inside the warm house. "Where did everyone go, huh?" I ask my four-legged friend as I kneel down to dry his damp coat, half expecting an answer. But he just keeps on wagging that tail, his cold nose buried into my side as he wraps a paw around my leg. "Oh, I love you too. Yes…yes I do."

After giving the dog some much deserved attention, I make my way back into the kitchen to grab a cup of coffee. That's when I see it…_the note_. Propped up right next to my mug, there is a little sheet of folded paper with my name on it. I smile at the sesame street and hello kitty stickers on the inside, crayon marks of every color scribbled over my wife's handwriting. _Good morning, Mommy. Hope you slept well. We went to pick up a little surprise for you. Be back soon. Love you xoxo._

I read the note over again, wondering what on earth this surprise could be. Whatever it is, it is unnecessary. Letting me sleep until after ten a.m. is a gift in itself. I take my cup of coffee and move to the living room, lighting the fire before sitting down on the couch and wrapping myself in our big, cozy blanket. Mmmm, it smells like Callie…that delicious, exotic smell that only my delicious, exotic wife gives off. I miss her.

Since the night we first made love again three weeks ago, every night has been filled with love. Sometimes we just sit and hold one another, too tired for more but still craving some form of physical connection. And sometimes we put the kids to bed and race to the bedroom, tearing one another's clothes off in a frenzy, wanting to make sure there is enough time to worship one another properly. My wife seems to want me the way I wanted her during pregnancy…and believe me, I am not complaining. The fear of losing my overactive sex drive once I gave birth is far from my mind now, Callie's raging hormones keeping our fire burning strong.

The fire. The fire crackles, snapping me out of my daydream once again. Perhaps I got too much sleep, my foggy mind an inferno of thoughts and memories as I sit alone before the blazing flames. Or perhaps I am just not used to being by myself, the vivid pictures running behind my eyes finally able to surface without the hustle and bustle of life with children.

_Children_. Something I once thought I would never have…something I once thought I never wanted. God, how lucky I am that Calliope Torres came into my life and changed everything. I can't remember my life without Sophia in it, and now I can't picture my life without Timothy. They are my pride and joy…worth all the fear, and pain, and heartache that comes with being a mother.

Once again, I find myself reflecting on my life, not knowing what else to do without the three people who make it up surrounding me. When I hear the key turning in the front door, I smile broadly. "They're home," I whisper, looking down at the sweet dog whose head is resting on my lap.

"If I know my girl, she's probably still sleeping," a familiar voice resonates from outside the front door, causing me to leap up and run in its direction.

"Mom? Mom…is that really you?" I ask as I pull the doorknob towards me, effectively throwing the door open wide. "Mom…oh my God," I exclaim, catching my wife's smiling eyes as she stands behind my mother. "I-I can't believe you're here. This is more than just a little surprise, Cal."

"I know, but I didn't want to give it away," my wife says with a smirk as she nudges my mom with her elbow, the two of them breaking out in laughter.

It all feels like some strange dream. My mother standing on the other side of the front door, looking just the same as she did when I was a little girl, only with a bit more gray.

"Mommy…you okay, Mommy?" Sophia asks as she wedges her way into the house, practically pushing her mama out of the way to get to me.

"I'm great, sweetie," I reply, a genuine smile taking over my face. "Just really, really surprised to see Grandma. And really, really happy too," I say as I glance over at my mom, who is snuggling with the grandson she has obviously been missing.

My mother smiles…that famous Robbins' dimpled smile, her eyes meeting mine for a moment before she looks down at Timothy. "He looks just like your brother did," she whispers as she comes to stand beside me. I swallow the lump in my throat, blinking back the tears that are inevitable when it comes to my son and his namesake. I can see my mother trying desperately to fight her own tears, but emotion wins out and she lets a few fall. "I'm sorry. I promise I won't be like this the whole time I'm here," she says as she passes me the tiny bundle in her arms. "Or I'll at least save it for when you two are out."

I have my lips pressed to Timothy's forehead as I listen to my mother's words, confusion taking a moment to set in. "Huh? When we are out? What are you talking about, Mom?"

"Well dear…I told your wonderful wife here, that I would like some time with my grandchildren," she says, opening her arms wide for Sophia. My eyebrows raise once again, but my mother continues before I can even inquire. "Alone. I would like some time alone with my grandchildren. Your f-father isn't here this time…or, or Callie's family. I can finally have the kids all to myself."

I open my mouth to argue, unsure of leaving the baby at such a young age. But a hand on my shoulder stops me from speaking, the pair of brown eyes I am met with pleading me just to listen. "Come on, babe. You've been cooped up in this house for more than a few months now. It will be good for you to get out. Good for _us_," Callie says as she takes my free hand in hers. "We can have a whole night out…just the two of us. And we'll have the best babysitter in the world. I know she's the only person you would trust to watch our little man."

Callie is right. We could really use a date night. And it _is_ my mother who will be watching the kids. And I _do_ trust her more than anyone. "Okay," I say, a dimpled smile of my own beginning to form. "If you're sure you don't mind…"

"Mind? Why do you think I came here, Arizona?" my mother says with a laugh. "Your father is a fishing trip with his marine buddies…and I, I didn't want to spend the week alone. I figured if I came, it could be good for everyone."

"Having you here, with or without babysitting, is always good," I tell her sincerely as I wrap my arms around her. "It's so good to see you, Mom."

"It's good to see you too, baby," she whispers, placing a tender kiss to my cheek before scooping Sophia up into her arms again. "Come on, little lady. Let's go get the soup started."

"Soup?" I ask as I glance over at my wife, who just shrugs her shoulders.

"Yes, dear. I had Callie stop at the grocery store to pick up all the ingredients," my mother tells me. "Figured you could use a little chicken soup on this cold, winter's day."

Once again, my mind wanders back to our home in South Dakota…the heaping snow piled outside our door everyday that winter…my brother…my mom, standing at the door with her pot of chicken soup. It is all so surreal. But she really is here, making the same chicken soup in our kitchen with my daughter.

"I think someone else is getting hungry," Callie says as she wraps her arms around me and our son, breaking me from my latest reverie. I look down at the little version of myself…the mini replica of my brother. "I gave him the bottle you pumped last night at the airport," my wife informs me. "But I think he's looking for the real deal. I know I would be, if I were him," she whispers in my ear, sending a shiver down my spine.

"Well, maybe I can give you the real deal tonight…on our date," I husk in her ear when I turn to face her, loving the lusty look I receive in return. "Feed all of your desires…."

I watch Callie swallow hard, her cheeks turning a bit red when she notices my mother staring at us. "Okay…so, you should go feed Timmy now," Callie says loudly, moving away from the kitchen to avoid eye contact with her mother in law. "Come on, Dorado. Let's go for a walk while we have the chance."

"Need to cool off a bit, Calliope?" I tease as she walks past me, leash in hand.

My mom just chuckles to herself, turning back to the bubbling pot on the stove. "There you go, sweetie. Keep stirring, just like that," she instructs Sophia, who is just thrilled to be cooking with her grandma.

I take my little man into the nursery and feed him until he is content. Although it was difficult in the beginning, I think we are finally getting this nursing thing down. Every once in a while, my sweet baby boy looks up at me, bright blue eyes studying my face. "Hello there, my little surprise," I whisper to the angel in my arms, my heart filling with so much joy when he smiles under my breast. "You're going to be just fine with Grandma later," I tell him, reassuring myself in the process. "And I'm going to take your mama out on a date. You're not the only one in love with her, you know."

Just then, the partially closed door creaks open and a head of black curls pops into the room. "Soup ready, Mommy," Sophia says, her mama's smile gracing her beautiful, little face. "Gramma say come eat now."

"Okay, sweetheart. Mommy's just gonna burp your brother and I'll be right there," I tell my little girl, smiling brightly. "Why don't you go help Grandma set the table?"

Sophia's little mouth opens wide with excitement, and it only takes a second for her to go running back out to the kitchen. I giggle as I listen to the pitter patter of her tiny feet, followed by the familiar sound of our dog scrambling down the hallway after her. "Guess Mama's back from her walk," I whisper in my son's ear as I gently pat his back.

"Yes, I am," Callie says suddenly from her stance outside the nursery, catching me off guard. I tense up a bit, sucking in a startled breath until the wonderful sound of my wife's laughter fills the air. "Did I scare you, Arizona?" she teases.

I walk towards her as she enters the room and give her a playful swat to the arm, followed by a slow and tender kiss. "Thank you," I say as I peer into the pair of adoring eyes looking down at our baby.

"For what? For scaring you like that?" Callie jokes as she motions for me to pass her our little boy. "Can you believe your Mommy is thanking me, little man?" she says to Timothy as she rubs her nose against his, causing him to coo and smile up at her. "Oh my God, Arizona…look at him."

I run my fingers through the blonde hair atop our son's head, gaining a smile of my own when he cranes his neck to look at me. "Hello handsome," I sing into the space over Timmy's head as I continue to stroke his baby fine hair, eliciting another round of coos and sweet gurgles. Callie just stares at us, happiness displayed on her gorgeous face. "I was thanking you for bringing me my mom, by the way," I say after a moment of beautiful silence, the two of us just adoring our baby boy.

"I know," she states simply. "But you should really be thanking her. She's the one who came up with the idea."

"So…what? She just called and said she wanted to come visit, and you guys planned the whole thing?" I inquire, still so unsure of how this surprise visit came about. "I mean, she said my dad was fishing. Which I totally believe. I mean, the man _loves_ to fish with his marine pals. But those trips are planned like six months in advance. Have you known about this for that long?"

Callie's brow is furrowed as she appears deep in thought, something clearly not adding up right in her head. I continue to glare at her, waiting for answer, until she finally snaps out of her daze and begins verbalizing her thought process. "Um, well…let's see. Your mom called a couple days ago…asked if we would like some company…said your dad was going away unexpectedly."

"Unexpectedly?" I repeat, my face contorted in confusion. "My father is _so_ not the spontaneous kind of guy. Like I said, those trips are planned months in advance. Hmmm…"

"Does it really matter?" Callie asks. "Point is…she's here. And that's a good thing, isn't it? I mean, you looked awfully happy to see your mom."

"Of course I'm happy to see her," I say, rolling my eyes as I continue to glance back and forth between my wife and son. "It's probably nothing. Just me…being silly."

"Girls…come on. Soup's on," my mother yells down the hallway, Sophia trying to repeat her every word only a few seconds later.

"Guess we'd better go have this famous chicken soup," Callie says, taking my hand and leading me out of the nursery. "Smells delicious."

And of course, Mom's version of the Robbins' tradition is simply perfect. Exactly how I remember it as a kid, the wonderful aroma and insatiable warmth provided by this classic recipe filling me with a sense of comfort and nostalgia.

"This is amazing, Barbara," Callie says after a few spoonfuls of the soup. "Just what I needed after that brisk walk with Dorado. I grew up in Miami…we don't do cold."

We all laugh, smiling faces on the three girls sitting around the kitchen table. Sophia is just so happy to have her grandma here, sitting as close as humanely possible to my mother in her booster seat. Timothy, as usual, falls asleep bopping away in his little, blue seat.

"Mmmm…you call Dad?" I ask my mother, in between slurps of yummy chicken broth.

Her spoon is to her mouth when I ask this typical question, and she practically drops it into the bowl, her jaw plummeting. She freezes…looks away from me…fidgets nervously in her seat. "Why…why would I be calling your father?" she says, her cheeks turning red instantaneously. "I told you, Arizona…he's fishing."

"I know, Mom," I say, dipping my head to try and get her to make eye contact with me again. "He must have his cell phone though. I'm sure he'd want to know you made it to Seattle okay."

"Didn't you call him at the airport?" Callie pipes up suddenly, causing my mother's head to whip in her direction. "I just…I saw you on your cell phone at the terminal. Figured you were letting Daniel know the plane landed."

"Oh, oh um…right. You're right. I was trying to call him then," my mother fumbles, still avoiding anyone's eyes. "Got his voicemail. I'm sure he got the message by now. He'll call me when he needs me."

Finally, my mother looks in my eyes, daggers telling me not to press the issue. Something doesn't seem quite right to me though, and I make a mental note to sit down and talk to her alone later. "So…where are you two gonna go on your big date later tonight?" Mom asks, changing the subject entirely and diving back into her steaming bowl of soup…something else I clearly remember from my childhood.

Things would happen sometimes. Timothy and I were just kids…no one thought we understood as much as we did. My mother turned a blind eye…swept everything under the rug…maintained her position as the good man in a storm. But other people started to see it. Things couldn't go on unnoticed forever. Excuses weren't enough to cover up the problem…and so, things changed. People changed. But sometimes it's impossible to change people completely. You can't change their past…the effect life has had on their soul…the things that haunt them.

It's just like the tiny coffins. I don't see them all that often anymore, my own life so full that there is no room for dreaming. But every once in a while, one shows up…ripping me from my slumber in a way that I cannot forget, the dream itself becoming a daunting memory.

"Arizona? Arizona…" Callie calls to me, my eyes returning from their blink to the real world again. "Babe…you okay?"

"Yeah. Yeah, I'm fine," I tell her, glancing sideways at my mother. She is talking to Sophia about school, not paying a bit of attention to the fact that I am staring at her. "So, where do you want to go for dinner tonight?" I ask my wife, destined to follow in my mother's footsteps with my avoidance.

Callie decided she wants to go to our favorite Sushi bar, and gets up to call and make a reservation. We then proceed to shower and get ready, testing the waters by having my mom watch the kids for a bit. "You sure you're alright?" Callie whispers, brown eyes piercing my heart with their undying love and concern. "You've been awfully quiet since lunch."

"Yeah, I'm okay. Just a little nervous about leaving Timothy," I say, choking down the lump of guilt forming in my throat. "I'm surprised your so calm about this. You've never left _your_ little angel with someone else before. What if he can't sleep without you? _You_ are the only one who can calm him at night."

I watch my wife's face grimace, pain radiating into that huge heart I fell in love with. "Believe me, I'm plenty worried. He's my baby…the only man I have truly ever been in love with. And I know I spoil him, Arizona. I know I hold him way too much a-and, and go running every time he even makes a little peep. It's just, I…I missed out on the newborn stage with Sophia. When she was born, I couldn't even be with her. And then…then when I was finally allowed in the NICU, my hands didn't work well enough to hold her."

"I know," I interject, placing a comforting hand on my wife's back as she gazes at me through the bathroom mirror. "I was there, Callie. I remember how hard it was for you then. And I totally understand why you want to hold that little boy close to you. I get it. I have to remind _myself_ sometimes that Timothy is a perfect, healthy baby…that there's no need to really worry about his breathing in the middle of the night, or whether he's eating enough. We both spoil him. But that's okay. Babies are supposed to be spoiled. Sophia was probably the most spoiled baby in the whole world, with people checking on her and doting on her twenty four hours a day. And look how well she turned out."

Callie smiles and turns to face me, her eyes lighting up as she thinks about our precious girl. "Yeah, she is pretty amazing. They both are." Then Callie grabs my hand and pulls me towards her, wrapping me up in a strong but tender hug. "You are pretty amazing too," she whispers as she brings her lips down upon mine, leaving me with a warm, soft kiss before returning her attention to the mirror. "It is _so_ worth worrying about our little surprise to have you all to myself tonight."

"I agree. It will be good for him…good for all of them. Sophia's really excited, you know? She's already talked my mother into baking brownies and watching Snow White later. Maybe my mom is the one we should be worried about," I say, causing us both to laugh.

I stand back and watch my wife in the mirror, the beautiful sound of happiness fading after a moment as we continue to get ready. I think about the last words I uttered, remembering that I truly am worried about my mother. Something about this whole fishing trip my father supposedly went on unexpectedly doesn't add up, and I just know my mother is keeping something from me. I feel my heart begin to pound as I come to the realization that I am no better…for I've been keeping something from my wife for a long time now.

"Your father just called," my mother announces from the nursery, the way her voice cracks telling me that is the furthest thing from the truth. Fear begins to settle deep within my chest as I recollect the last time I caught my mother in a lie. Barbara Robbins is usually the most genuine, honest person on the planet. There is only one reason I have ever known her to tell a lie…only one person she would ever lie for. "Dad says hello, dear. Says he caught three bluefin tuna today," my mother fabricates, trying to sound excited.

"That's great, Mom," I yell back down the hall at her, offering my wife a quick smile when she brushes past me to grab her earrings in the bedroom. There is a huge knot in my throat, the anticipation of what is likely to come after my date with Calliope rattling my nerves. I close my eyes, resolving to face the situation later on and just enjoy this rare night out with my wife. No matter where he really is, I know my father is not in Seattle. Sophia and Timothy will be safe with my mother, and I will let the woman who loves me with every fiber of her being do just that…_love me_. Because I am going to need that to get through this.

"You ready, baby?" the beautiful goddess across the room asks as she slides into the dark purple heels that match her dress. I force another smile and nod, hitting the bedroom light as I follow my wife out to say goodnight to our little angels.

"Bye bye, peanut," I whisper as I hold Sophia in my arms, giving her a gentle squeeze as I run my fingers through her dark curls. "I love you, little girl…_up to the moon and back_." I place her back on the ground, lifting my eyes to meet my mother's as she passes Timmy to his mama. Those words were spoken purposely, and I know my mother understands by the look on her face. Her eyes are filling with tears…familiar tears of sorrow and regret that I've experienced one too many times.

I blink my eyes rapidly to keep my own tears at bay, luckily distracted by the sound of my son's favorite lullaby being sung to him softly in the corner of the room. Callie is standing beside the window, moonlight shining in through the sheer curtain as she rocks our little boy. "_Tú eres la estrella que ilumina mi noche… con el que voy a hacer realidad los sueños…Debajo de la Luna apaciguante…Eres mi nana español_."

Everyone is watching Callie now, her beautiful voice filling the air with a sense of peace. "I'm sorry," she whispers when she notices all of us staring, brown eyes locking with mine for a moment before she looks back down at Timothy. "I just wanted to make sure our little man got his goodnight song."

I cross the room and place a loving kiss to this amazing woman's lips, my heart swelling with love. Callie smiles and passes me the baby, who I lavish with tender kisses as he clings tight to my pinky. Once my wife has said goodbye to our daughter, I place our son in the arms of my mother…the arms that held me as a little girl. "Thanks for taking care of the kids tonight, Mom," I say, secrets passing between matching eyes of blue. "We won't be too late."

My wife and I arrive at our favorite restaurant a while later, enjoying every moment of a meal shared alone. "You look beautiful, Arizona," Callie whispers, brushing my hand with hers as she reaches over to grab some chopsticks. There is a lump in my throat again, partly because I am still flattered by her compliments and partly because of my guilty conscience.

"Thank you, Calliope. You look absolutely gorgeous," I tell her, choking down that lump with the resignation that everything else can wait. Right now, I need _her_…need to remember that my life is filled with so much love and joy. It's the only thing that might keep me from falling apart altogether.

We take our time devouring incredibly delicious rolls of sushi, feeding one another pieces of rice and vegetables with our chopsticks. The way Callie looks so deeply into my eyes is breaking my heart, but I look back at her with the hope that she'll understand. _She has to understand_.

The waiter comes over with our check a bit later, and I glance up at the large clock on the wall. Callie sees me and does the same, a seductive smile playing on her lips. "So…what should we do now? It's only eight o'clock. I'm sure your mom will be fine for a few more hours."

I ignore the part of me that just wants to rush home, deciding it's best to postpone the inevitable pain and suffering for a bit longer. Because once I know for sure what I've known in my head and in my heart all day, my world is going to be flipped upside down. Memories will be triggered…secrets will come out…problems will need to be dealt with. But right now…right now, the only problem I want to have is deciding where to make love to my wife.

"Arizona…honey, are you sure that everything's okay?" Callie asks, snapping me back out of my own mind. "You've keep staring off into the distance, like you're lost or something. What's going on with you today?"

"Find me," I breathe out after another moment of awkward silence, my eyes coming to focus on the beautiful face in front of me. Callie lowers her eyebrows in confusion, my words not making much sense. How could they? She has no idea what I'm going through. "You, y-y-you said I look l-lost. So, find me," I demand, blue eyes meeting brown in desperation. "Take me somewhere…_anywhere_, and just make love to me. _Please…"_

Callie may not understand what's going on, but she understands my need and quietly leads me out of the restaurant. Her eyes never leave mine as we walk to our car, and the unwavering love I see in them nearly causes me to break. But I don't. I can't break until I've had her inside of me…until I've felt her walls tremble around my fingers. I need her, _all of her,_ right now. And somehow, she knows that.

She drives a little ways, veering the car suddenly up a long and winding road. "Where are we going?" I ask, my fingers wrapped tightly around hers in between our seats.

"Right here," she answers with a nervous smile, tears clouding her big, brown eyes. Callie turns the car off when we reach the parking lot of our favorite park, the one we've been coming to together for years. There is not another soul around on this cold, February night. It's just me, my wife, and the stars. I gaze through the windshield at the tiny specks of white light illuminating the sky, the quiet peacefulness allowing me to breathe.

I know this is the calm before the storm…the storm that can be terribly violent, devastatingly traumatic for everyone is touches. I close my eyes, trying to push the worried thoughts from my mind as tears burn the back of my eyes. I try so hard not to let them fall, but one escapes and trickles down my face.

"Oh, baby," Callie whispers, fingertips delicately wiping away my pain. "Whatever it is, I'm here. I'm here and I'm not going anywhere," she promises as she pulls me into her arms.

I reach under her and slide the seat back, giving me enough room to climb into her lap. She holds me so close to her body, my head pressed firmly over her heart. I listen to the sound of this amazing organ beating under my ear, it's steady rhythm soothing my soul. I allow myself to cry, silently sobbing into Callie's chest for a moment before she lifts my chin with her finger and pulls my lips to hers. The kiss that my wife gives me is so tender it nearly shatters my resolve, and when we break for air, I think perhaps the truth shouldn't wait any longer. I open my mouth to speak, finding the words so difficult to get out. "C-C-allie ….there's s-s-something I need to tell you," I stammer, blue eyes once again meeting brown.

"Shhh…not now," Callie whispers as she runs her hands underneath my shirt, gently lifting the material up and over my head. Her lips find mine, so much affection behind them as she kisses me repeatedly. I slowly unzip the back of Callie's dress, helping her to eliminate the barrier between us before sliding my skirt down until it hits the floor. Callie lifts her hips so I can work her black, lace panties down those gorgeous legs, my fingertips clinging to her luscious curves. "I'm going to love you. No matter what, Arizona…I'm going to love you."

Once again, her words touch my heart and I feel a few tears escape. When I look down at my wife, so in awe of her beautiful soul, I see that she is crying too. My love…my Calliope is crying, simply because she knows I am hurting. I don't think I've ever loved her more than I do in this moment, and I lean down to kiss her with desperate passion. "Make love to me. I'm not lost when I'm with you," I breathe into her ear, my arms wrapped firmly around her neck.

So she does…she makes love to me, slowly and sweetly. I suck in a deep breath when I feel her hands cup my breasts, my heart beating wildly in my chest. Callie soon replaces fingers with lips, covering my hard nipples with her warm mouth. I pull her into my body, practically digging my fingernails into her back until we can't get any closer. Her strong hands roam down my back and over my hips, thumbs hooking into white silk to remove my panties. I wrap my lips around her smooth skin, tasting every piece of her my mouth can reach. Our bodies are so close, I almost can't tell where she ends and I begin.

Flesh on flesh, we move together in the small confines of our car, taking a trip to heaven before we must face hell. My wife's loving fingers move delicately inside of me as I hover above her naked form, my own fingers seeking her entrance. The steering wheel is cold against my back, so I shift my body to find a better angle, effectively thrusting my fingers deep inside the woman I love. Callie gasps, her breath hitching in her throat as I circle her insides, wanting to feel every inch of her. She leans back against the headrest, her palm implanted in my pelvic bone as her fingertips grasp my bare bottom, pushing me further and further down onto the hand between my thighs.

I cry out, this time in nothing but pure ecstasy as Callie reaches a new depth within my body. I can feel her walls starting to shake as I work my fingers in and out of her core, the two of us falling over the edge together. When we are done reeling from the intense pleasure, I lay my head back down on Callie's chest, kissing my spot over her precious heart. This is exactly what I needed…to feel loved and safe in the arms of my beautiful wife. I know she must be so confused, wondering what on earth has brought me to this point. But she doesn't press the issue, however. She just continues to love me, letting us stay in heaven a while longer. "I will always find you," Callie whispers, her fingers running through the blonde hair splayed out across her shoulder.

Eventually the cold, night air is too much for our naked bodies to endure and we must get dressed. I whimper when I shift back to my own seat, wishing I could remain one with my wife forever. The ride home is silent, fear building in both of our hearts for two entirely different reasons. For my wife, it is fear of the unknown. But for me, it's knowing what's about to come that is so terrifying.

The house is still and quiet when we enter, the sounds of our little man breathing deeply coming through the baby monitor. I breathe deeply myself, relieved that our precious baby is sleeping soundly. My mother is asleep on the living room couch, Sophia's little head tucked into her side. Callie and I both smile at the sight, watching the rise and fall of our daughter's chest for a moment before my wife gently lifts her off the couch. My mother startles a bit and wakes, sitting up with wide eyes.

"Sorry, Barbara…didn't mean to wake you," Callie whispers as she pulls Sophia into her arms, bringing her to me so I can kiss her goodnight before disappearing down the hallway.

"Goodnight, sweetheart," my mother says as she watches my wife take the little sleeping beauty to tuck her in for the night.

"So, how were they?" I ask, unable yet to meet my mother's eyes. "Timothy take the bottle okay?"

"Yes, h-he drank the whole thing. Five ounces," my mother informs me, her hands fidgeting nervously in her lap. "They were wonderful. You are so blessed, my dear. Two beautiful, healthy children…who could ask for more?"

Here she goes again, trying to pretend that everything is fine. As much as I would like to do the same, I just can't. Not anymore. "Talk to Dad yet, Mom?" I say, a hint of anger in my tone. "And don't even try and feed me anymore crap about some fishing trip."

"Arizona…" my mother whines, her eyes pleading with me. "Please, honey…_don't_. Just….d-d-don't."

Just then, Callie returns from Sophia's room, her gorgeous smile quickly fading when she sees the tension between my mother and I.

"It's happening again, isn't it?" I say, taking a step closer to the couch. My mother just stares at the wall, her teary eyes focused on anything but the pained expression on my face.

"What? What's happening again?" Callie inquires, taking a seat beside my mom. "Barbara…are you okay?"

"No…no, Callie. I am not okay," my mother finally admits, pushing up her shirt sleeves to reveal two bruised wrists. "I-I-I'm, I-I'm so sorry, sweetie," she chokes out as she looks me in the eye, tears streaming down her face.

"Who, who did this to you?" Callie screams, a look of pure shock written all over her face. She turns towards me, brown eyes searching blue. "No. No…he, he wouldn't," she says once the reality of the situation hits her.

"It's not his fault," my mother cries, her face buried in her hands. "Please, Callie. Just try and understand…"

"Understand what exactly?" Callie asks, interrupting my mother before she can rattle off a list of excuses.

"She wants you to understand why, why my father is a…a…a monster," I choke out, the pain of saying those words stabbing my heart like a knife. "And it _is_ his fault, Mom…and _yours_ too. For not getting him the help he needs. You can't just run away from the problem. And you can't expect me to turn a blind eye to it…_not anymore_. I did that my whole life, every time he…"

"Every time he what?" Callie cries, a mixture of fear and sadness taking over her beautiful face.

I open my mouth to speak…to finally tell her the secret I've been keeping for all these years. But no words come out. So I close my eyes and try again, but I don't even know where to begin. I start to tremble, tears forming fast in my eyes. Callie comes to stand before me, taking my hands in hers to offer some quiet support. I look into her warm, brown eyes and see my whole future…love, happiness, family. I wish I never had to look away…wish I never had to re-live the past. But I am determined to break the cycle…change the outcome for everyone this time.

I think I have finally gained the courage to tell Callie everything, sucking in a deep breath to prepare myself. And then, just when I'm about to get started…the familiar sound of our tiny baby fills the air.

"Oh…he, he must be getting hungry," I say so stoically, my eyes moving from Callie's to the clock on the wall. I drop the strong hands that have been holding me together all night and head towards the nursery, avoiding the inevitable just a little longer.

**Chapter 5**

_**Callie's POV:**_

I find myself alone in the living room with a woman I thought I knew…a woman I thought raised the love of my life with care and affection. Now I am not so sure about my wife's upbringing. In fact, I'm not so sure about anything. My eyes continue to stare at Barbara Robbins, despite their cold, blank appearance. My jaw drops, so many thoughts racing through my mind that words simply cannot leave the tip of my tongue. I can feel tears burning the back of my eyes, but I'm not sure what has caused them. Heartache? Fear? Anger? Perhaps it is a combination of all three, both my head and my heart pounding with a multitude of emotions.

"Callie. Callie…" Barbara calls, ripping me from the surreal daze I find myself in. I close my eyes then open them again, this time my intent stare piercing the blue eyes before me.

"What exactly is going on here, Barbara? I ask as I glance down at her bruised wrists, noticing that they have almost identical marks around them. I watch my mother in law swallow hard, wiping tears from under her baggy eyes as she rubs one of the wounds with her thumb. "Why would Daniel do this to you?" I cry, beginning to pace the room in frustration. "How long has this been going on for? Has Arizona known all along? Why didn't she tell me? Why?"

I rattle off all these questions, practically screaming at the terrified woman on my couch, then turn to leave before Barbara even has a chance to open her mouth. She is not the person I need to get the answers from. My veins feel as if they are on fire as I walk slowly down the hallway, fists clenched in rage. On instinct, I want to barge into that nursery and demand that my wife tell me everything…that she fill me in on all the details of her past she so casually left behind.

But the sobbing and sniffling I hear on the other side of Timothy's door breaks my heart too much to yell at her…and so I lean against the wall for a minute and just breathe. "I _love_ her. And I promised…no matter what, I would love her," I say to myself aloud. Being angry would have been the easy road to take, and I know that. The path I must follow for Arizona, for the woman who owns my heart and soul…that path is going to be much more difficult to travel. Something tells me we are about to embark on a painfully strenuous journey, and I am deathly afraid of where this path will lead us.

But here I am…standing outside my son's door in a home that just a few hours ago was filled with nothing but love and happiness. I can feel my heart beating deep inside my chest, afraid to cross the barrier into an unknown world…the world of my wife's past.

"Hey," I whisper as I push the door open just a crack, the rocking chair coming to an abrupt halt when Arizona sees me peering in at her. She is nursing the baby, her free hand desperately trying to wipe the tears that are staining her beautiful face. I hate to see her cry, and I can feel my heart break a little when she sucks in the deep breath that is often needed after heavy sobbing. "Can I come in?" I ask, my hand wrapped tentatively around the doorknob.

She inhales sharply once more as she gives me a slow nod, those brilliant blue eyes meeting mine for a second. I hesitate, still so afraid of what may happen…so afraid of what has already happened to her. But those bright blue eyes, the dimpled smile that usually brightens my day, the love that has awakened my soul…those are the reasons I must face my fears.

I enter the nursery with caution, moving towards my wife as if one wrong step may break her into a thousand pieces. She is breaking already, that much I can see. But I know my girl, and she isn't going to let all those walls fall down easily. No, I'm going to have to knock them down…one by one, until we get to the bottom of this. "So, how's our little man doing?" I ask nonchalantly, hoping to break the ice.

Arizona stifles her cries, swallowing up her emotion as she looks down at the sleeping baby on her breast. "He's doing good. I think he's just about done if you want him," she says, lifting her eyes to look at me briefly before returning them to our son.

"No, that's okay. You keep him," I tell her as I kneel down beside the rocking chair. "He makes everything better, doesn't he?" I whisper, laying a hand on Arizona's knee to offer some comfort.

She takes a deep breath, lids dropped for a moment before blue eyes meet brown, unspoken words passed between us. "_You_ make everything better, Calliope," Arizona says, her voice cracking a bit. "I'm so sorry. I, I should have told you about my father…"

"Why didn't you?" I ask, my tone warm and tender at first. "I mean, I don't even know what there is to tell…but, but there's something. I just…I don't understand why you would keep secrets from me." I cannot help the hint of anger in my voice as I continue to speak, and I can see the effect it has on Arizona. She clams up, removing her eyes from mine to gaze out the window at the starry night. "I'm sorry," I whisper after a few moments of silence. "I just want to help you, and I can't do that if I don't know what's going on."

"I know," she says, placing a lingering kiss to Timothy's forehead before going to place him in his crib. "Goodnight, sweet baby boy."

I walk over to where my wife is standing beside the crib and lean down to kiss my little angel goodnight, then take Arizona by the hand and lead her down the hall to our bedroom so we can talk. She immediately takes a seat at the edge of our bed, motioning for me to join her. I take her hands in mine, waiting for her to begin our journey into her past. But she says nothing. She just stares into my eyes, breaking my heart with her sadness. "It's okay, baby," I whisper, pulling her closer to me. "You can tell me."

"I wanted you to like him," Arizona says suddenly, my brow furrowed in confusion.

"What?" I say, searching her eyes.

"My dad…I, I wanted you to like him," she tells me, shrugging her shoulders. "That's why I didn't tell you about any of this. That and..and I, I try not to think about it."

"Think about what?" I dare to ask, knowing that Arizona could shut down at any moment. Arizona closes her eyes, obviously pained by the memories of whatever has happened in the past. I give her hand a gentle squeeze, hoping she can find the courage to confide in me. "Please, Arizona…let me help you. Let me _love _you."

"Remember when you woke up to Owen strangling Cristina in our old apartment?" she asks, knowing the memory will remain in my mind forever. That was a terrifying moment, one that I only wish I could forget. My mind wanders from that night…to the words spoken by my mother in law…to the pain I see on my wife's face. And suddenly all the pieces come together.

"Your dad…he has post traumatic stress disorder? Is that what you're trying to tell me, Arizona?" I inquire, wanting it to be clear. Arizona nods her head in shame, as if her father's behavior is somehow a reflection on her. She looks away from me, her hands letting go of mine to fidget with the sheet below us. "Hey…look at me," I whisper, lifting her chin with my finger. "You can tell me anything, Arizona. And I promise, I'll still be here. I won't be angry with you for keeping this from me. And I won't hate your father. I just want to understand…"

"Understand?" my wife screams, cutting me off. "It's impossible to understand, Callie. No one can understand the kind of violence that war has embedded in my father's soul. The things he's seen…and, and _done_. They've affected him. And, and y-you never see it coming. You never know the man who's always been y-your, your hero is suddenly going to become the villain…your _enemy_…the one person you want to escape from."

I think about her choice of words, and wonder just how often my wife wanted to escape life with Colonel Daniel Robbins and the experiences that haunted him. So I push. I ask the questions I want to ask, hoping she can endure it all just a bit longer. "How often did this happen, Arizona? I mean, with Owen…he, he struggled with the PTSD for a few months before the choking incident. And then he got help…him and Cristina both did. Has your dad ever talked to anyone about it? Have you? I mean, I know you didn't talk to your _wife_ about it," I say, sounding much more bitter than I intended to.

"Callie…please. I told you…I, I try not to think about it. I try not to remember," Arizona says, her head ducked down to catch my eyes. "All I know is that I was scared. Every time it happened, I was terrified."

Her eyes are filled with tears again, and I can't describe the heartache I experience when I see the pain behind them. I just want to pull her into my arms and make it better…make it all go away. But I can't do that. I have to make her talk about this before she bottles it back up inside. "How many times?" I inquire, gaining a confused look from Arizona. "How many times has he snapped?"

"T-this will b-be the, the third," Arizona stammers, her eyes squeezed shut in an attempt to block the memories. "B-but I, I really don't remember much about the incidents. Just that my dad wasn't my dad anymore…he, he was a m-monster."

I can no longer control the urge to hold her close to me, so I slide my body towards her and pull her into my arms. Arizona buries her head into my neck and her tears flow like water down my skin. "Shhhh…shh, okay. Okay, baby. I'm here," I whisper into her hair, my lips finding the top of her head. "It's okay. Just take your time and tell me what you _do _remember."

Arizona doesn't say anything for quite a while, continuing to cry into my neck as her fingers wrap around the collar of my shirt. She is literally clinging to me for dear life, and I start to feel as if I'm going to be sick. I still have no idea what's really happened to her, but the longer she cries, the more I start to fear the worst. Having witnessed the recent damage done to her mother, I make the mistake of letting my mind wander. Was Arizona abused by her father during his bouts with PTSD? In what way? So help me God, if that man touched her, I will kill him. I don't care if he's her father…don't care if he wasn't himself, or what kind of torment lead him to that place.

Eventually, Arizona's quiet sobs turned to sniffles and she looks up at me with the saddest eyes I've ever seen, shattering my heart in the process. Those beautiful blue eyes and the way her hair is tucked behind her ear makes her look like a child…like the little girl whose happy life suddenly turned into a nightmare. Arizona is trembling in my arms, and several times she opens her mouth to speak…but no words come out. "We don't have to talk about it anymore tonight," I whisper, my arms wrapping tighter around her. "I didn't mean to push, babe. If you're not ready…"

"I was just a little girl the first time it happened," my wife announces unexpectedly, her voice so low it's almost inaudible. I pull back slightly to look in her eyes again, dark brown reflected in her baby blues. I look as deeply in her eyes as I can, connecting our souls as we prepare to start this terrible voyage.

"How old were you?" I ask as I rub my thumb over her delicate fingers in small circles, wanting so badly to comfort her.

"Seven," she answers right away, some of the memory clearly remaining in her mind. "I was seven and Tim was almost ten."

I can't help but picture a seven year old version of my wife, with that super magic smile and adorable dimples. I imagine our son as a ten year old boy as I picture the man he was named for, knowing he'll likely resemble his uncle. Overwhelming sadness fills my heart to think of two small children going through such an ordeal. I was a grown woman when I dealt with Owen and his PTSD, and the image of him almost strangling Cristina to death is still terrifying to think of. How could children cope with such a thing?

"It's all so fuzzy," Arizona says, breaking me from my thoughts. "I'm sorry, Calliope. I, I don't remember what happened when I was a kid. I just know I was scared…we both were. It was loud and scary…and then it was over, and my dad was my dad again."

"Until the next time it happened, right?" I say, needing to know all the details. "And when was that exactly?"

Arizona takes a deep breathe, her eyes closed in such a way that she looks as if she's in physical pain. "The next time I remember him like that was after my brother died," she tells me. "I was fresh out of med school…just turned twenty-five. About two days after we buried Tim, he started acting crazy again," she tells me, fear being replaced with sorrow as she reflects on her brother's passing. "Everyone was so upset then…it, it took a few days to notice the behavior."

"And what happened when you did?" I inquire, still holding her close. "Did you confront him? Has anyone ever confronted him about this?"

Arizona is the one to pull back this time, looking me straight in the eyes as this chapter of her story unfolds. "No one said anything at first," she whispers, trying to swallow the lump that is quickly forming as she thinks back on this awful time in her life. There is a lump in my throat now too, her pain every bit as real to me as my own. "Then I,I noticed that he was yelling at people," Arizona continues, both of us blinking back tears. "And not just out of anger and sorrow. He was barking out orders, as if we were all part of his regiment. I remember he kept referring to himself at Sergeant Robbins, the rank he held in Vietnam."

There's a part of me that suddenly feels pain for my father in law, and in a strange way, I see why Barbara told me that it wasn't Daniel's fault. Arizona's dad didn't maliciously cause pain and suffering to his family. It was his own pain and suffering that flipped the switch, turning a heroic man into a monster. We've all learned about PTSD in our psych rotations, and it is a well-known fact that Vietnam vets have the highest rate of chronic post traumatic stress…the kind that is persistent and long-lasting. Repeated exposure to combat can account for this type of PTSD, and any stressful or traumatic occurrence can trigger the fight or flight response. And for a man like Colonel Daniel Robbins, fighting is the only possible choice. It is not at all surprising that he would have an episode after the death of his son…a son who died following in his footsteps.

I find myself staring blankly at the wall, the internal battle between my heart and my mind tearing me apart. On the one hand, I can sympathize with Daniel…like I sympathized with Owen. I feel truly sorry that such good a good man has been put through so much in his lifetime, his heart forever scarred by violence. But on the other hand, the evil created by the war he chose to fight has hurt the one person I love more than anything on this earth. Arizona is my number one concern, and my focus shifts completely back to her as she continues to drag us down this long and winding road, our journey becoming more and more difficult to endure.

"Finally, my Uncle Ronnie…Dad's brother, he warned my father that he was slipping over the edge. Said he'd seen some of his friends experience trauma after returning from Nam. Dad…he, he didn't want to see it. Or he couldn't….couldn't break out of the haunted world of Saigon. The more we tried to calm him down, the harder he fought. He kept saying he wasn't going to stop until he found the man who killed Private Timothy Robbins. He started ripping pictures off the walls, kicking down doors, waving his 22 Magnum in our faces. Everyone was terrified, but there was nothing we could do…he was the man with the gun." The look of pure fear on my wife's face as she recollects this traumatic event is one I've never seen before, and once again I feel as if I am going to vomit.

"Oh my God, Arizona…I, I don't even know what to say," I mutter, still trying to wrap my head around all this. What horrible suffering this family went through. What horrible suffering my wife has been going through all this time…_without me_. I clear my throat, coughing until I'm sure there is actually still air in my lungs. I'm afraid to hear the rest of this story, but I know it has to be told. Arizona's hands are holding mine so tightly, and I squeeze back with all of my might to let her know I'm here…that I'll _always_ be here. "How did it end?" I ask, my voice barely above a whisper. "Did anyone get hurt?"

"My mother took a few jabs with the rifle when she tried to intervene, and…and I, I-I took a good, hard slap to the face," Arizona chokes out as quickly as she can, cringing as she brings her hand up to her cheek, the sting of that slap still fresh in her mind.

My eyes grow wide and I have to let go of her hands before I break them, my blood boiling beneath my veins. "He hit you?" I scream as I press my palms into my eyes, attempting to halt the hot, angry tears.

"No," Arizona says loud and clear, that one simple word sending a shock to my system.

"No, it wasn't him that time. It was my mother. After the second time he hit her with the gun, I said I was going to call the police. She, she told me I could not dishonor my father in that way. I tried to reason with her and we, we got into an argument. When I went to grab the phone, she ripped it out of my hand and slapped me. She had just lost her son, and she told me she was not about to lose her husband as well. She said her Daniel…the person she fell in love with, was still inside that man. I didn't understand it at all then…"

"But you, you understand it now?" I ask, interrupting her.

"I understand what it's like to love somebody so much you'll do anything for them," she says, her eyes meeting mine. "I know what it's like to want to protect somebody, at all costs. Yes, I suppose I do understand it a bit more now."

I swallow hard, Arizona's words hitting home as she continues to stare into my eyes. I imagine she's right…if someone tried to take her away from me, no matter how necessary it might be, I would do everything in my power to stop them. I would want to protect her at all costs, like I do right in this very moment. "I wish…I, I wish there was something I could do to make it better," I whisper when I can finally find my voice, tears streaming down my face. "I wish I would have known you then…been there to help you through it."

"Me too," Arizona admits, her hand reaching out to wipe away my tears as her own begin building behind those bright blue eyes. "Believe me, I could have used the comfort. My brother was dead, my family was falling apart, and I was all alone. I hopped on the first plane to Boston and just tried to forget the whole ordeal."

I get up off the bed and circle the floor, fists once again clenched in anger. I _am_ angry…angry with Arizona for not telling me about this sooner, angry with Daniel for putting my wife though so much pain, angry with Barbara for letting it happen. I'm even angry with myself…for not being able to protect her, even if there's no way I could have. Seeing her struggle, hearing how broken she was…it's killing me. Every tear she cries…every glimmer that fades from her gorgeous eyes, it like a knife digging deeper and deeper into my chest. Nothing hurts me more than someone hurting the woman I love, every fiber of my being aching for my wife.

When Arizona and I first started dating, I was in awe of the relationship she had with her parents. They talked on the phone almost everyday…we skyped with them on a regular basis…spent holidays together. The Robbins clan seemed like the perfect family, the only thing missing their beloved Timothy. Oh, how deceiving appearances can be. "When did you let them back into your life?" I inquire, wanting to know how things were patched up.

"When I got offered the job as Boston Children's Hospital," she replies, walking nervously back and forth on the other side of our bed. "I did my internship year and they offered me the chance to complete my residency there. I was just so excited at the time. My first instinct was to call my mom. So I did. I called and…and we, we talked. Mom said she was sorry for what happened. Said my dad was in therapy again and hadn't had another episode since the day I left. Over the next few months, we just sort of picked up where we left off. They came out to Boston for Christmas and my dad was just my dad, not some lunatic with a gun re-living his tour in the South Pacific."

"And this is the first time your father has lost control since then?" I ask, surprised when a voice behind me answers the question instead of my wife.

"Yes, dear. It's been almost nine years since my husband's trauma has caused us any hardship," Barbara says from the doorway, causing both of our heads to turn. "I convinced him to go back to therapy after we lost Arizona…"

"You didn't lose me, Mom," my wife says, shaking her head.

"Yes…yes, we did. We lost a whole year with you," Barbara whispers, eyes just like Arizona's filling with fresh tears. "And I'm not going to let that happen again. You are too important…all of you," Barbara says as she studies the latest picture we had taken, our beautiful family of four huddled together under the Christmas tree. "I'm so sorry about all of this, girls," Barbara says, burying her face in her hands.

My wife crosses the room and pulls her mother into her arms, hugging her tight. "It's okay, Mom," Arizona whispers, pulling back to look her mother in the eye. "We'll figure everything out…get Dad the help he needs."

"I should have been honest with you from the beginning," my mother in law says, hanging her head in shame. "I just didn't want to hurt you anymore."

"I know," my wife replies, offering her mom a small smile. "You've always tried so hard to protect us…protect _him_. But what about you, Mom? Who's gonna protect you?" Arizona asks.

"I suppose I protected myself by leaving this time…by coming here," Barbara says, so much shame evident on her face. "I just couldn't do it this time. He, he wouldn't listen…wouldn't see his doctor or, or take the anti-anxiety meds. He's stuck, Arizona. He's stuck in Vietnam again and, a-and I don't know if he'll come back this time."

Barbara begins to cry, uncontrollable sobs released into the air. I look over at my wife as she holds her mother once more, her eyes catching mine for a moment. The sorrow I see deep inside those baby blues is gut-wrenching, and I finally can't hold in my disgust any longer. I excuse myself and head into the bathroom, the contents of my stomach violently expelled into the toilet. My insides are shaking…my head spinning. I feel like I am in some strange nightmare, my mind unable yet to believe this is all real.

"Are you alright?" Arizona asks when I return a few moments later, cheeks flustered despite how pale I look in comparison. I nod my head as I take a seat at the edge of our bed, trying to get my bearings. "When did all of this start, Mom?" my wife says, motioning for her mother to take a seat as well.

"Well, it…it started with this game," Barbara says, both mine and Arizona's brows lowering in confusion. "This, this war game one of the other vets gave your father."

"Like a video game?" I inquire.

"Yes, Callie. Well, I assume it's like a video game. I've never been much of a gamer," Barbara says with a nervous chuckle. I offer her a small smile, taking her hand in mine to lend some support. "Daniel plays this war game on his computer."

"And so…what? The game somehow triggered his PTSD?" Arizona says, shaking her head as if she's not convinced.

.

Barbara closes her eyes, clearly trying to recollect how everything went down. "I-it all seemed so, so harmless at f-first," she says after a moment of eerie silence, her voice cracking with emotion. "He would play while I made dinner…or, or when I was out with my friends. It gave him something to do. But then, then I noticed Daniel playing more and more. Any free minute he had, he was on that damn computer. First thing every morning, he would load up that game. I mentioned it to him- how much he was playing…how he seemed to be becoming obsessed. But you know your father," Barbara says, glancing over at Arizona. "He didn't want to hear it…didn't want to see the problem. So I just did what I do best. I turned a blind eye and let it continue, stupid enough to think it wouldn't come to a head."

"When did it, Mom?" Arizona asks, placing her hand over the one I am holding. "When did he snap?"

Barbara shakes her head, shrugging her shoulders as she continues to weep. "It was different this time, honey. It was a slow process. He was fine…for the most part, he was still the same old Daniel. Except for when he was playing that game. When that game was running, I could tell his mind was running too. Looking at that compute screen, it was like your father was back in the war…like he was actually fighting with real soldiers. He would, he would grunt and…and scream at the computer. The more he played, the worse it got. And the worse it got…the more he played. Eventually, that's all he did. Every waking hour, your father was on that computer, reliving his past over and over again."

My eyes grow so wide that the air stings them, the pure insanity behind this tale sending a shock to my very core. Arizona looks equally surprised to hear these details, the hand gripping mine beginning to tremble again. "How did this happen?" I ask, cringing when I turn Barbara's wrist over to reveal the nasty cuts and bruises.

My mother in law looks so defeated, her heart clearly broken. I can tell it is going to be difficult and painful for her to recount how exactly her husband abused her, and the shaky breath she releases echoes in the silent room as Arizona and I wait for an answer. "One night, I woke up and Daniel was gone," Barbara says, her voice barely above a whisper. The closet door was left ajar and, and I noticed that one of his uniforms was missing. When I found him downstairs, he was fully dressed in fatigues…and, and he had a gun beside him on the table. I remember walking towards him so slowly, thinking _this could be my last moment on earth_._ My husband is going to turn around and shoot me, and I'll be dead._"

Arizona's tears are pooling in her eyes and with one blink, they spill forth and travel down her cheeks. The anguish on her face makes me want to vomit again, but I hold it together for her…_for both of them_. Barbara hesitates for a moment, but finds the courage to continue when Arizona squeezes her hand tight. "Obviously, your father didn't kill me," she says, closing her eyes as she takes a deep breath. "He, he just…he t-t-ook me as his prisoner. Tied me up. That's how I got these," she says, gesturing to her wrists. H-he didn't mean to hurt me. He was just, just so caught up in that damn game…and in the memories of the war. You know, he was made to take hostages in Saigon….forced to torture civilians. I think he was reliving that all over again."

"How did you break free?" Arizona inquires, swallowing yet another lump.

"During a moment of sanity, he let me go. Your father just woke up the next morning…untied me…and told me to get as far away from him as possible. I suppose he knew what was happening and, and he wanted to spare me," Barbara says. "I tried to convince him to get help…to take the medication…to talk to his therapist. But, but he was gone again before I could get through to him. And I was scared…and hurt…and just, just so tired of it all. So I did what he said. I drove until I couldn't drive anymore, and then…then I called you, Callie."

Suddenly, a loud wail comes through the monitor, the sounds of our crying baby startling all three of us. "Well, looks like Timmy is ready for a feeding," Barbara says as she stands up, leaning in to place a kiss on her daughter's forehead. "I think we've all had enough for one night, don't you?" Arizona nods, teary eyes locking with the matching ones above her. "I love you, Arizona," her mother whispers. "And I am sorry for all of this."

Barbara kisses my cheek, giving my hand one last squeeze before walking out of our bedroom. Timothy is still crying, demanding to be fed. But Arizona isn't moving…she's just staring straight ahead, a blank expression on her face. "I can feed him tonight," I say, coming to stand in front of her. She blinks once, briefly looking in my eyes as she shakes her head no. "Let me bring him to you then," I suggest, anxiously waiting for her to reply. But again, she doesn't say a word.

She is shutting down. I knew this was going to happen…that eventually, this would all be too much for her. It's too much for me, really…and I haven't lived through it all. I let out a long winded sigh as I crouch down before the love of my life, forcing her to meet my eyes. "I'm going to go get our little man now. Why don't you go sit in the rocker…and just, just let me do the rest? Okay?" Arizona slowly nods, her eyes locked with mine. Timothy is starting to scream now and Arizona looks towards the door, silently telling me to help our son. "Okay, buddy…Mama's coming," I say as I walk away from my wife, my heart being ripped into a thousand pieces.

As much as I hate to leave her, I am thankful to teach the nursery and gladly step inside the comforting world of our little Malawi. God, what I would give to be back in Africa right now…with the poverty, and illness, and discrimination. Those are nothing in comparison to the terror, and pain, and sorrow I've been seeing in my wife's eyes all night, and I only wish we could escape the world we are living in.

I take my time changing Timmy's diaper, finding hope in the bright blue eyes staring up at me…the bright eyes I can only hope I'll see on Arizona again. "Come on, my sweet angel," I whisper to my little love, cradling him in my arms. "Your mommy needs us."

When I return to our bedroom, Arizona is sitting in the rocking chair, the same stoic look plastered on her beautiful face. The tear tracks on her cheeks look almost like scars and her eyes are so bloodshot from all the crying. I call her name, but get no response. She's fading…she's closing herself up tight inside that shell of hers. But I will reach her…I will find her again. I promised her I always would.

I know she cannot function enough to nurse the baby on her own, so I kneel down in front of the rocking chair to assist her. Being careful not to startle her, I slowly reach out and lift up her shirt…the same shirt I lifted over her head in passion just a few hours ago. I close my eyes, remembering the desperation in our love making, wishing more than anything I could make her feel whole again. Timothy is starting to fuss again, so I place him in Arizona's lap, moving her arms until she snaps out of her daze and holds him. I unhook her bra and pull her breast towards the baby's mouth to help him to latch on, knowing my wife cannot do any more than what she is. I rest my chin on Arizona's knee as she feeds our son, brown eyes reflected in blue the entire time. For the second time tonight, words are spoken silently as we stare into one another's souls.

When Timothy has gotten his fill and fallen back to sleep, I take him from my wife and return him to the safety of his crib. Arizona is already in bed when I enter our room, her back towards me as she clings to her pillow. I slide in behind her, wrapping my arms around her shaking body. There are no more tears left in either one of us to cry tonight, but the overwhelming feeling of sadness is more present than ever now that we're alone again. "Tell me what you need," I whisper, my cheek pressed up against hers. "Please, Arizona…I'll do anything."

"Just hold me," she cries, turning her head to look in my eyes. "Just hold me, Calliope." So I do…I just hold her tight, praying to God that this terrible journey soon comes to an end.

They say that life is full of surprises…and the good ones, like our little boy, are always welcome. But ones like this…the bad things you never see coming, those are the reason people say _I don't like surprises. _

**Chapter 6**

_**Arizona's POV:**_

My wife is holding me so close I can feel her heart beating against my back, her loving arms wrapped protectively around my trembling body. "I've got you," Callie whispers when I lean my head back, her chin resting on my shoulder as she wraps her arms even tighter. All I want to do is sleep, but the wheels just won't stop turning in my mind. Every time I feel myself starting to drift off, the terror that's been residing deep within my soul rips through my system, causing me to startle. My eyes shoot open wide as my body jolts awake, the battle for sleep beginning all over again. Tears flow, now out of frustration and helplessness. I just want my life back…the amazing, happy life I woke up with this morning. I can feel my hands trembling under Callie's, and she squeezes them hard in an effort to stop the tremors. "Shhh, it's okay. It's gonna be okay, baby," she tells me, her lips coming to rest against my temple. "I love you, Arizona. And I'm here. I'm not going anywhere."

The undying love and sincerity in Callie's voice makes the tears fall even harder, the thought of how all of this will affect her beginning to break my heart. If she was the one going through it, or anything that would cause her pain, I would be a complete and utter mess. I can't bear to see her suffering, my heart and soul so connected to hers that her pain and my own are one in the same. And I know she won't admit it…I know she won't tell me how much she, too, is suffering, but I know that this isn't easy for her. I can see it in her eyes when I turn to face her. Her beautiful, brown eyes are clouded with the tears she is trying so desperately not to cry for me. I lean in to kiss her, tasting the salty reminder of my pain on her lips. Callie seems surprised, but must feel the same way I do…in sharing a kiss, our pain can be forgotten- at least for a moment.

And so we kiss one another, deeply and passionately, until neither one of us can breathe. Blue eyes are reflected in brown for what feels like an eternity as we both inhale sharply, once again unable to escape the anguish my past has caused. And so I kiss her once more, softly and quickly this time, before rolling over and closing my eyes.

I know that sleep will not come easily, but for my wife…for the woman who loves me so very much, I will pretend. "I'm so tired, Callie," I say, feeling as if I'm lying even though it is so true.

"Then just close your eyes," my wife whispers, sliding her body up against mine again to hold me close. I feel so safe in her arms, despite the fact that I am afraid. I'm deathly afraid of the memories that may be trying to surface…the images I've worked so hard my whole life to suppress. But I close my eyes…_for Callie_, I close my eyes and pretend to fall asleep. I know she would stay up with me all night, giving me the comfort and protection I need. But if I let her do that…if I let her in completely, then I will be forced to face the memories. And I'm just not ready to do that.

It takes a while for Callie to let her own exhaustion take over, her soft snores letting me know she's given up and gone to sleep. I breathe a sigh of relief, finally alone with my mind and my feelings. Words cannot express the sense of despair that takes over my entity, a scarred soul awakened by this haunted night. The monster inside my father has escaped again, and we are all running from him. We are all trying so hard to run from the memories of cruelty and sorrow, each and every one of us affected by a wounded soldier's trauma in a different way.

I feel so exhausted, practically delirious from dehydration caused by shedding a lifetime of tears. When I hear Sophia crying out in the distance, I spring up from my position in bed, causing all the blood to rush straight to my head. I almost fall over when I try and stand, the dresser a welcome obstacle tonight as I lean myself up against it for support.

"Arizona…" Callie mumbles, still too groggy to comprehend what's going on.

"Shhh. Go back to sleep," I say, as if tonight is any other ordinary night. Sheer exhaustion leads Callie to believe the same and she lays her head back down on the pillow. "I'll just go check on her. Be right back."

I leave our bedroom and meander haphazardly down the hallway, stumbling as if I've been drinking all night. The hall light is so bright when I switch it on, my eyes instinctively closing to a fine squint. My head is pounding and Sophia's whimpers sound like they are coming from millions of miles away. Every cry…every plea for me sounds muffled, my daughter's voice echoing in the distance. I am right down the hall, but I can't get to her. I can't protect her. I can't save her.

_Oh, but wait_. Sophia is not the one who needs to be saved. My beautiful, little girl is not in any danger. It's the other little girl. The one I see when I close my eyes.

This little girl is walking just as I do, her braided pigtails flapping in the breeze as she smiles up at the clouds. She is _a dreamer_…an optimistic, little firecracker who believes she can change the world. She's a ray of sunshine, her dimpled smile and heart of gold winning everyone over.

I round the corner towards Sophia's room and push open the door, closing my eyes to watch another door swing open. "We're home from school, Mom," I hear a young boy say as he helps the little girl remove her backpack. I know this boy…this boy with pale skin and freckles, his blue eyes so bright they almost hurt to look at. It's my brother. It's Timothy. Which means…the little girl is _me_.

A sense of panic rises from deep within me as I come to this realization, and I open my eyes in a desperate attempt to stop the memories from invading. But this little girl won't let them stop. The seven year old version of myself is just dying to break free…for someone to remember her and acknowledge her pain. She turns towards me and smiles, the same bright blue eyes as her brother meeting my own. "Come on, Arizona," I hear Timothy calling in the distance, those eyes continuing to stare at me for a moment before the little girl turns and skips off with her brother.

"Mom? Mommy…where are you?" I hear a sweet voice ask, the same question being echoed by another little girl. I am caught between two worlds…between the past and present, my head still pounding as I try to decipher which is reality.

"Mommy…Mama," Sophia screams this time, finally breaking me from my memory-induced trance. "I needa go potty," my baby girl cries, tears streaming down her face. I move towards her, rapidly blinking back my own tears. "I called you lots a times, Mommy. Why you not come for me?" she asks, breaking my heart.

"Oh…come here, sweetie," I say as I lift Sophia up into my arms, my body naturally swaying back and forth. "I'm sorry it took me so long to get here. Mommy just sort of got…_caught up_," I tell her, swallowing the giant lump in my throat.

Sophia looks at me with doubt in her eyes, unsure of what is going on. Those big, brown orbs study my face for a moment before they move across the room to where Callie is standing. "Mama…" Sophia wails nervously, her tiny body twitching in anticipation. "I wanna see my mama," she says, looking at me as if I'm not her mother.

I cringe, the pain caused by my daughter's rejection like a knife to the heart. But I can't blame her. Children are very perceptive, and all my peanut knows is that I'm not the same mommy I was this morning. _Her_ mommy doesn't stand in the doorway and watch her cry. _Her_ mommy doesn't look like this.

I catch a glimpse of myself in Sophia's mirror and gasp. I am a mess. My eyes are red and puffy…my skin unusually pale. I look like a ghost. I feel like a ghost, my past haunting me in ways I never imagined. I pull my fingers up to my face, touching my cheek to be sure the vision in the mirror is really me. Behind my own reflection, I can see Callie watching me with concern, her eyes trying to reach mine. I turn my head and just stare into those warm, chocolate orbs, wishing more than anything I could connect with her. But I can't. I don't dare look past the surface of the brown eyes before me for fear of breaking. I _can't _break…not now, not yet, not in front of our daughter.

As quickly as my eyes meet Callie's, they look away, my head turned back to face the ghost in the mirror. I stare into my own eyes now, the baby blues of a little girl looking back at me in terror. "We need to call for help," a familiar voice echoes in my head, an image of my mother lying in a bloody heap on the floor flashing before my eyes. "Arizona…get the phone, Arizona," Timothy calls to me in desperation, tears streaming down his face. But I am frozen, just as I am now…unable to move, or speak, or do anything besides cry.

I feel a hand reach out and touch my shoulder, my wife's sad eyes meeting mine once more. "_Oh, Arizona_," she cries as she wipes the tears from under my eyes, our souls connecting for a second before our little girl begins tugging impatiently on her pant leg.

"I gotta go potty, Mama," Sophia says, looking up at me briefly before she buries her head into Callie's thigh.

"Okay, baby. I'll meet you in the bathroom in just a minute," my wife tells our daughter, nudging her until she moves towards the door. Sophia looks over at me again, offering me a small smile as she inches her way out of the room.

"I love you, peanut," I say, breaking free from my trance long enough to smile back at my little girl.

"Love you too, Mommy," Sophia says, the same sadness found in Callie's eyes now clouding her own. "You feel better soon…right, Mommy?"

I close my eyes and take a deep breath, unsure of how to answer my baby's question without lying to her. "I hope so," I finally choke out, knowing those are the only words I can utter in truth at the moment.

"She will," Callie tells Sophia with such determination, a loving smile taking over her face. "Now go wait for me by the potty, okay?" Sophia nods and smiles at her mama before disappearing down the hallway, her absence allowing me to feel the pain once more.

Callie crosses the room to where I am standing and places a tender kiss to my cheek. "I love you more than anything, Arizona," she whispers, her hands holding mine tightly. "Why don't you come back to bed? Let me take care of you…"

"I…I-I can't," I whisper as I pull away from her, turning my back on her love. "I-I'm…I'm sorry, Callie. I just…can't."

Callie doesn't argue or try and convince me any further. Instead, she just kisses my cheek again, letting her lips linger over my skin. "You know where to find me," she whispers before Sophia calls for her again and she turns away from me, leaving me alone with my memories once more.

Knowing my wife will soon be returning our daughter to her bed, I exit Sophia's room and venture down the hallway. Once I reach the living room, I throw a few logs on the fire and wrap myself up in my favorite blanket for both warm and comfort. I know I could easily be wrapped up in Callie's arms instead, but why make her suffer with me? I've already caused her enough pain for one night.

A cold nose on my bare foot indicates that I won't be suffering alone after all. Dorado's bushy tail wags incessantly when I begin stroking his head, his puppy dog eyes looking up at me as I cry. He, too, can tell something is wrong with me, but I am grateful that at least he cannot speak. He can't ask questions, or offer advice, or try to fix things. No one can fix things. No one can fix _me_.

As I stare into the bright flames before me, the image of my mother covered in blood returns, my memories picking up right where they left off. When I close my eyes, I see my seven year old self kneeling down beside my mom, holding the trembling hand connected to her bruised arm. "Mommy….are you okay, Mommy?" I cry as I watch my mother choke on blood, her face battered almost beyond recognition.

I hear my brother in the background as he searches for the phone, frustration evident in his voice when he cannot find it. "Who did this to you?" he screams as he continues his search, knocking things over left and right. My mother gasps for air, shaking her head in an attempt to get my brother to shut up. But Tim is angry and afraid, and so he just keeps yelling. "Mom….tell me what happened. Tell me who did this."

"I did," I hear a voice bellow from behind us, a man dressed in army fatigues standing in the doorway. "And you'll receive the same treatment if you don't cooperate," the man threatens, poking my brother in the ribs with his rifle. Timothy folds in pain, holding his wounded abdomen as he stares up at this man…the same man who made us eggs and put us on the bus that morning.

"Daddy….what are you doing, Daddy?" I cry, unable to comprehend what is happening.

"Shhh, Ar-Arizona. B-be quiet. Please, baby….j-j-just be quiet and do what he says," my mother pleads, her body shaking on the floor.

The fire crackles, snapping me back to reality. I suck in a deep breath as my eyes come to focus on the world around me…the amber flames, the yellow dog whose head is resting on my lap, the quiet breathing of my son over the monitor. This is my life now. Why can't the past just stay in the past? I've kept these memories hidden inside of me for all these years…why now? Before all of this, I had never been happier in my entire life. My beautiful wife and amazing children bring me so much love and joy, and most days I don't know what I've done to get so lucky. But not today. _Today_, a war I didn't even fight is destroying my life…_again_.

The clock in the hall chimes and I whip my head to see the time, catching a glimpse of beautiful, raven hair. Standing in the kitchen with a glass of water in hand is my Calliope. "It's two o'clock," she whispers, the sorrow in her eyes reaching my soul the moment I look over at her. Her beautiful, black hair and soft, caramel skin are striking against the red velvet robe she is wearing, her loose curls framing the most gorgeous face I've ever seen. I love this woman, with all my heart and soul, and seeing the sadness in her big, brown eyes is killing me. It's killing me because I know my pain is the cause of her sadness.

Callie crosses the room and hands me the glass of water, a subtle smile forming on her lips when I take it and my hand brushes hers. "Thank you," I say, once again looking into her mesmerizing orbs. She nods, then watches me swallow every bit of water, my body clearly needing to replace the tears it has lost. After taking the empty glass from my shaky hands, my wife tilts her head to one side and just waits…waits for me to say something- _anything_.

"I hate my father," I announce rather unexpectedly after a few moments of apprehensive silence, causing Callie's eyes to open wide with surprise. "Sometimes, I just…h-hate him," I tell her, anger building behind a set of fresh tears.

"_Arizona_…" Callie whispers as she squeezes my hand. "What's happening to your father isn't his fault, honey. He's, he's suffering…and, and he doesn't know that he's hurting anyone. You said it earlier- he's not himself."

"_No_…no, not now. But he _was_ himself when he signed up for that kind of violence," I say as I remove myself from her grasp and begin to pace the room. "He _was_ himself when he enlisted…when he decided to follow in his father's footsteps. My father _chose_ to be a soldier, Callie. He just _had_ to be a hero."

I am pacing at an almost violent speed now, my heels digging so hard into our wood floors. "It's in his blood, Arizona," Callie says before I can pick up my rant. "The need to serve and protect, to save lives…it's in all of you."

"Yeah, well…where the hell did it ever get anyone, huh?" I practically scream at her, my eyes narrowing in resentment. But it's not Callie that I resent…she just gets to bear the brunt of my frustration. I take a deep breath, willing myself to calm down before I take anymore out on her. "I'm sorry. I-I'm just…I'm sick of being the good man in the storm. I-I'm sick of feeling like I need to fulfill a duty before I fulfill my own desires. Look at what happened with Africa…I, I almost lost you because I couldn't say no to a commitment. What if…"

"There is no _what if_, Arizona," Callie says, stopping me from going down that road. She steps in front of me, her hand held out to keep me from moving. "You chose me. Maybe not right away…but, but when push came to shove, you chose your commitment to me over the grant. You came back to me."

Her eyes are pleading with me through their tears, her strong hands holding mine so gently as she inches closer. I try to pull away, but she doesn't let me. She tugs on my hands, our eyes locked as she presses her forehead to mine. "What if my dad _doesn't_ come back?" I whisper, swallowing the lump that has formed in my throat. "There's a price to pay for being a Robbins…for upholding the family tradition. Every generation has suffered because of it. I've suffered…_I am suffering _because of what war has done to my family. My brother, my father, my grandfather...they've all been lost in one way or another. And I can't escape it. My grandfather drowned on the ship I was named after. He _drowned, _Callie. And right now, I feel like I am drowning too. "

When I am finished with my little speech, I release the hot, bitter tears that I've been trying to keep at bay. I wrap my arms around my wife so tight, clinging to her like a life raft. I didn't want to do this. I don't want to drag her under with me.

"Let me help you…_please_," Callie begs, her voice cracking. "I'll save you, Arizona. I will do anything I can to save you…to keep you above water. We can do this together. Just talk to me…tell me what your thinking, how you're feeling."

I shake my head back and forth against her chest, willing the memories to stop flooding my mind. But they're there…the blood, my mother's trembling hands, my brother crumbling to the floor in pain, my father looming over us with his gun, the seven year old version of myself cowering in fear. Fuzzy, little clips of my past flash before my eyes and I cringe, not wanting to see the rest of that little girl's nightmare unfold. "I, I can't," I finally choke out, my head still buried deep into the warm, caramel skin I adore. "I c-can't, Callie. I, I don't even know what's real. It's all just bits and pieces…"

"So tell me about the bits and pieces," she demands, pulling my shoulders back until we lock eyes. "Tell me what it is that's keeping you from coming back to bed."

I stand there before her, taking in her words for a moment. Should I lay it all on the line? Let her know what I've been seeing behind my lids all evening? But I don't know what it is that I've been seeing exactly. _I don't want to know. _"Please, Callie…I, I can't do this. I don't want to remember," I tell her, my desperate voice barely above a whisper."

"But, Arizona…I, I can't help you if you won't let me in," Callie says, pulling me into her body once more. "I'll protect you," she whispers in my ear as she runs her hand down the length of my arm, stopping to weave her fingers through mine.

"Protect me?" I scoff, pulling away from her suddenly. "How can you protect me?" I ask, turning the tables on her in defense. "Can you go back and change what's already happened? Can you bring my dad back? Or, or my brother? Can you bring Timothy back?" I scream at her recklessly, my fists balled up in anger.

Callie swallows hard, remaining silent as the shock of my verbal backlash hits her hard. I can see her eyes welling up and I instantly regret my actions, knowing she is not to blame for any of this. "You want to know how I'm feeling, Calliope?" I ask in a much calmer tone, being sure to look deep into those unbearably sad eyes. "I'm scared out of my mind. Okay? Oh, and you want to know what I'm thinking too…right?"

She swallows another lump, sucking in a deep breath before she is able to look me in the eyes again. But she does. Despite the fact that I am lashing out at her…she looks me in the eyes, blue reflected in deep brown for what feels like an eternity. "I'm…I'm thinking that, that this sucks. That going through all of this right now, when we have a brand new baby, is just too much. It's too much for me. I need to be able to function…to take care of our son, and-and our daughter…to go back to work in a few days. I don't want to let this ruin my life…_our life_," I choke out, my head hung in despair.

"I am not going to let anything ruin our life," Callie tells me, her hands wrapped firmly around my shoulders to make me listen. I know what she is going to say next. I know that she is going to try and convince me to face the problem head on…to get the help I need. But I'm just not ready for that. I don't want to push her away, but I can't pull her into all of this either. No one should have to go through this.

"Do you love me?" I whisper, tears streaming down my face.

Callie just stares at me in disbelief, those eyes penetrating my soul. "Don't be stupid," she says, a hint of bitterness in her melancholy tone.

"Well, then…just, j-just let me do this my way," I plead, squeezing her hand so she knows this isn't about her. "Please…just give me some time. I just need some time to sort it all out."

I watch as my wife lets the words sink in, her beautiful eyes closed as she contemplates what course of action to take. I'm sure she doesn't want to let it go. I'm sure she wants to keep pushing and pushing, until I break and she can heal me. She wants so badly to heal me…to save me. I suppose to save me any further heartache, she gives in. "Okay," Callie says after another moment of silence. My eyebrows go up as I wait for her to continue on. "Whatever you want, baby," she whispers, hanging her head in defeat. "I just have one more question for you."

I let out a deep, agitated sigh, assuming we're about to embark on another argument. "Please…I can't handle anymore tonight, Cal. Can't you just…"

"Do _you_ love _me_?" she asks quite seriously and in a loud voice, causing me to shut up right away. I tilt my head and narrow my eyes…_of course I love her_. I love her more than my own life and she knows it. "Then come back to bed," she whispers, her fingers lacing through mine again. "You, you don't have to talk about it…but, but if you love me, you'll come back to bed."

My eyes drop to the floor as I am now the one contemplating how to react, my first instinct to shut her out and stay up all night trying to put the pieces of my memory together. The sooner I figure this all out, the sooner I can move on. But I need to do that alone, and I know she won't let me be alone right now. Hell, I don't _want_ to be alone anymore tonight. I want to be with her. I want to feel safe and loved in the arms of the one person who has ever truly made me feel whole. So I nod in agreement, letting Callie lead me down the hall, our joined hands serving as a lifeline.

I hold tight to that lifeline, my wife's strong hands holding my trembling ones every single second. Even when she reaches over to turn out the light, Callie doesn't break our connection, her body stretching awkwardly to keep her fingers wrapped around mine. It is so dark in our room and just like that little girl, I am afraid. I'm afraid, and exhausted, and I don't know how much longer I can keep fighting to stay above water. I'm drowning in the endless sea of anguish that has been surrounding my family for decades. I feel as if I can't breathe and I gasp for air, my lungs aching almost as much as my heart.

"Shhh…it's okay, baby. Just breathe. I'm here…I'll always be here," Callie promises as she wraps her arms around me from behind.

"I'm so sorry, Calliope," I whisper as I hold tight to the strong lifeline of her hands, my knuckles turning white around her fingers. "I'm so, so sorry for everything."

"Shhh…none of that, Arizona," Callie says, pulling me back against her warm skin. "You don't have to be sorry for anything."

"I love you so much," I tell her, my voice cracking as the tears inevitably fall once more.

"I know," she whispers as her lips come to rest upon my temple. "And _you_ know I love you too. I love you with all my heart, baby."

I take a deep breath and smile slightly, knowing my wife means every word she says. Then I grab the arm that is holding me and pull it up under my chin, my weary head resting on her as sleep begins to take over. If I can just get some rest, maybe I'll feel better. Maybe I'll be able to stop the wheels from turning in my head…stop the memories from haunting my dreams. _Maybe not_. Maybe there is no escape…no way out of that little girl's nightmare. I close my eyes and let sleep take over my tired, aching body, the blackness behind my lids welcome in comparison to the visions. Callie stays awake to protect me…and I let her, feeling safe for the first time tonight.

But I'm not safe for long. I'm not sure how much sleep I've had when it begins again…when that little girl comes to collect me. "Help….help me," I hear her cry, my mind watching it's past self struggle to break free. I am in a dark place…a very scary, dark place. And Callie isn't there to protect me anymore. No one is there to protect me. I am all alone, trapped inside my own mind.

**Chapter 7**

_**Callie's POV:**_

I wake up, my arms instinctively reaching out for my wife to hold her and comfort her…_but she is gone_. My eyes shoot open wide as I sit up in a panic, my heart racing when I look around and don't see her at all. Last night was rough, and I had hoped she would still be sleeping. The fact that she is not in bed beside me has me worried.

"Arizona," I call out, a lump forming in my throat when I get no response. I call her again, over and over, my feet moving through our house as quickly as possible.

"Hi, Mama…watcha doin?" Sophia asks as I pass her bedroom, her dress up clothes spread out all across the floor. "You wanna have a tea party with me?"

"Good morning, peanut," I say as I enter her room, placing a tender kiss to that head full of curls. "I would love to have a tea party, but I need to find Mommy first. Have you seen her?"

"Nuh uh," Sophia replies. "Gramma told me to be quiet so Mommy could sleep. Mommy still sleeping?"

"No, baby. Mommy's awake," I tell her, a frown naturally forming on my face at the thought of Arizona suffering all alone somewhere. "Do you know where Grandma is now?"

"She's in Timmy's room, Mama," Sophia says, pointing across the hall. "He was crying."

I rush over to the nursery to check on my little man, feeling a weight lifted off of my chest when I see Barbara giving him a bottle. She is sitting in the rocking chair with Timothy, the bags under her eyes hidden by fresh makeup. "I hope you don't mind," she says when she notices me in the doorway. "I defrosted one of the bags of milk Arizona had in the freezer. He was so upset and I didn't want to wake you. I imagine last night wasn't terribly easy for either of you."

"So, you haven't seen her either then?" I ask, my chest suddenly weighed down again.

"Arizona?" Barbara questions, her brow furrowed. "No, dear…I haven't seen her since she left to feed this little guy last night."

I look over at my son, his eyes straining to see me as he works on finishing his bottle. "Hello, my angel. Mama's here," I say as I approach the rocking chair. Timmy's little legs starting kicking wildly in excitement, his head turned away from the bottle to get a better look at me.

"He sure loves his Mama," Barbara remarks, sitting the baby up in her lap. "Here you go, sweetie."

I take Timothy from my mother in law and hold him close, peppering his tiny face with gentle kisses. "And I love you, too. Yes, my sweet boy. Mama loves you so much." I cradle him in my arms and look down into those bright, blue eyes he inherited from my wife. Timothy stares back at me, nothing but pure, innocent love shining between us.

"He's so beautiful, Callie," Barbara whispers as she comes to stand beside me, placing a loving hand on my shoulder. "Reminds me so much of _my_ Timothy…so sweet, such a happy baby. My son was always such a good boy, and he grew into a fine young man. I'm sure your son will be just like him."

"No…he _won't_," I say as I pull away from her touch, taking my baby across the room to change his diaper. I can feel Barbara staring at me, her hurt feelings evidenced by the heavy sigh she lets out. "I am sure my son will be a great man, just like Tim," I whisper as I lean over the changing table, keeping my back to Barbara. "But he will never be a soldier. I won't let him follow in your son's footsteps. Not after what I went through last night."

I lift Timothy up into my arms once more, leaving a lingering kiss on his forehead before passing him back to his grandmother. "I'm sorry, Callie," Barbara whispers, blinking back her tears. "I didn't mean to imply that…"

"I know," I say before she can continue. "And I'm sorry, too. I'm sure none of this has been easy for you either. It's just…_she's_ my wife. She's my everything. Seeing her in so much pain last night…it, it was excruciating for me. And now I have no idea where she is…or, or what's going through her mind. All I know is that she is hurting because of something your husband did to her…something _you_ let him do."

"Callie, please…you don't understand," Barbara cries, her blue eyes clouded with emotion.

"No, I don't," I cut in, crossing my arms over my chest. "I don't understand how you could let it go on…whatever _it _was exactly. She was just a little girl, Barbara. _Your_ little girl…your daughter." At this point my own eyes begin to glaze over, the weight of that statement burdening my already heavy heart.

"You think I don't feel terrible about what happened?" Barbara says, her tone laced with regret. "I am their mother…I should have protected them better. But you have to remember, he is my husband too. He's _my_ everything. I hoped _you, _more than anyone, would understand that. You look at my daughter they way I look at Daniel, and I know you love Arizona so much. You want to protect her with every fiber of your being…support her, comfort her. It was no different for me. Daniel was in pain, and all I wanted to do was help him. I thought I could handle it, Callie. And then, then it just spiraled out of control. If I could go back and do things differently…"

"But you can't," I interject, turning my back to her again as I rifle through Timmy's dresser. "And as much as I want to understand, Barbara…as much as I love you and Daniel, I love _her_ more. Arizona is the one I'm thinking about…_worrying_ about. I watched a beautiful, happy, strong woman turn into a frail, miserable, terrified little girl last night…and the only thing I care about is making her better. So excuse me while I go look for my wife. I promised her I would always find her, and I am not about to let her down. I think she's been let down enough, don't you?" I ask as I finally turn to face her, the anger building behind my eyes fading when I look at my little boy again.

Barbara's face is streaked with tears, tiny drops staining Timothy's light blue pajamas. "I'll do anything I can to help you, Callie," my mother in law says, avoiding eye contact with me by looking down at her grandson.

"Just take care of your grandchildren while I look for her," I whisper as I hand her the outfit I picked out for Timmy. "Do you think you can do that?"

"Of course," Barbara says, slowly lifting her head until our eyes meet. "Whatever you need."

Just then, a blood curdling scream echoes throughout the house. This guttural cry is one I've only heard once before…the night Arizona and I lost our baby, blood flowing like water in our shower. I would recognize this awful sound anywhere, the anguish behind it going straight to my heart.

"Mama…" Sophia wails in fear, her tiny body trembling in the doorway of the nursery.

"It's okay, peanut," I tell her, scooping her into my arms for a moment. "Mommy is hurt and needs my help, so I'm gonna go take care of her. Okay?"

Sophia looks so afraid, but she puts on a brave face for the woman she loves more than anything in the world. "You will make my mommy feel all better, right Mama?" she asks as she throws her arms around my neck, warm tears hitting my skin. "I want my mommy to be all better now."

"I know. I know, sweetheart," I whisper into her ear, hugging her tight. "I want Mommy to be all better too…and I promise, I'll bring her back to you as soon as I can." I can barely breathe as I choke out those last words, fear of losing Arizona rattling me to the core, just as it did during the miscarriage.

Another terrified scream rips through the air and I put my daughter down at once, closing the nursery door behind me to try and spare my children from the pain of hearing their mother's cries. "Arizona…Arizona, where are you, baby?" I yell as I make my way to the front door. But she is not coming into the house…the living room is completely empty, door locked just as it was when I woke up this morning. I meander through the kitchen and open up the slider to the backyard, my head darting out into the cold air to scan the area for her. When again I find nothing, I turn back around and start walking down the hallway.

This whole time, I assumed she had left…that she had woken up and decided to get away from the ghosts she encountered in this house last night. But when I hear her cry out for the third time, I know how very wrong I was. The sound is coming from our bedroom…the very place I started out in this morning. I was so petrified that Arizona had taken off…run away…_bailed_. I pictured her crying all alone on our park bench, killing herself by smoking an entire pack of cigarettes, or even sitting at a bar drinking. I was so worried she would get herself into trouble…get hurt, or hurt herself in some way. And now I've come to realize she's been in our very house this whole time.

The hint of a smile forms on my face as those crazy thoughts leave my mind…but the smile, and any feeling of relief that led to is, is very short lived. Because if she's been here all this time and nobody knew it, she's in a much more dangerous place than I ever could have imagined.

I realize just how dark and dangerous this place is when I hear my wife's ragged breathing coming from somewhere deep within the confines of our bedroom. I tiptoe lightly across the floor, being so careful not to make the situation any worse by further scaring her terrified soul. "Arizona…honey, it's me. It's Calliope," I whisper with affection, exactly the way she does when she uses my full name. "I'm going to open the door now," I tell her as I wrap my fingers around the handle to the small space she is hiding in. "Oh my god…Arizona."

Those are the only words that come out of my mouth before my insides are ripped up, my heart torn completely out of my chest when I see the state my wife is in. In this moment, I don't care what kind of trauma Colonel Daniel Robbins went though. I don't care how much Barbara Robbins loves her husband, or how sorry she is for not protecting her kids. I don't care about anything or anyone, but the terrified little girl living inside of my wife. "Help me. _Please_….help me," Arizona cries, looking up at me as tears stream down her face.

_**Arizona's POV:**_

Just as the sun began to peek in through our bedroom window, she was back…that little girl who will always be a part of me. I managed to get a few hours of sleep, my arms wrapped tightly around my wife for protection, before it happened. I rolled over and smiled at the beautiful woman who had held me all night, feeling so grateful for her presence in my life. I remember letting out a heavy sigh, thanking God or whoever it was that allowed me to escape the memories for a while. I felt better…less exhausted, less emotional, less vulnerable.

I leaned in to place a soft kiss to my wife's full lips, only pulling back when she began to stir. "Shhh…go back to sleep, gorgeous," I whispered as I pressed my body against hers, breathing her in. It only took a few moments of laying in Callie's arms before slumber took over again, the warmth of our embrace easing us both into dreamland. Normally, I would welcome the dreams that my wife's loving arms send me into…_but not this morning_.

Any notion I had of feeling better quickly went out the window the moment my eyes closed again, the adolescent version of myself playing behind my lids immediately.

"What's wrong with you, Daddy?" I scream, my tiny body shaking with fear. "Why are you doing this to us?"

"This one's got a real mouth on her, eh?" my dad snickers as he lights up a cigarette.

"Shut up, Arizona," my brother cries, his eye now swollen shut. Tim's face is battered, much like my mother's, and he is still holding his abdomen. "Please, sis…just do what he tells you to. I don't want you to get hurt."

I glance over at my father, a mixture of emotions written on his face. He appears to be in some sort of trance, tears streaming down his face despite its angry façade. "I-I, I d-d-don't want t-to do this," he stammers, closing his eyes. "Please, Lieutenant Castille. Can't we just take the cong? Why, w-why do we have to hold the women and children?"

My dad then begins pacing the room violently, his hands pressed firmly to the sides of his head as if he's trying to stop his own mind. He pauses in his tracks, does an about face, then bangs his head against the wall. "Shut your mouth and do as you are told, Robbins," he hollers in a deep voice, almost as if he is someone else. "I am your commanding officer and you will follow my instructions. Now tie them up and put them in the back of the truck."

Of course, I have no idea what my father is talking about when the conversation in his mind transfers to his mouth….when the past transfers to the present. I am just seven years old, and all I can see is that my daddy appears to be going crazy.

"Oh, Daniel," I hear my mother whimper, my head turning in her direction. The blood on her face has dried now, the bruises beginning to set in. Her body is rocking back and forth, but I don't see her hands…they are tied behind her back, her arms and legs held to the chair. The heavy rope is digging into her skin, but she continues to try and free herself despite the pain caused by moving.

I run over to her side, pushing my father out of the way to get there. "Let my mommy go…leave her alone," I scream. My father is still entranced for a moment as I begin to untie the ropes, but he quickly notices what's going on and whips in our direction. "Noooo…." I cry as he knocks me to the ground, my face buried in my hands to prevent it from smashing against the hard wood.

The pain of that blow courses through my system and I begin to cry, my mother's pleading voice echoing in the background. My brother rushes to my side, whispering words of comfort for a moment before he, too, is knocked to the ground. My father looms over my small body, the same mix of anger and sorrow on his face. "Please, Daddy…please don't hurt me."

My hands are still covering my face when I jolt awake, and I slowly peek out from behind my fingers to see the real world. I am no longer in that kitchen with my father looming over me, the anguished cries of my mother slowly fading as I come back to the present. I am safe in my wife's arms, temporarily free from the nightmare of my past.

I stare at Calliope's beautiful face, studying every perfect feature in an effort to remind myself that she is real. My fingertips trace her dark eyebrows…the slope of her nose…the outline of her slightly parted lips. She is breathtaking…and she is _mine_. "She is my wife…and, and this is our house. _This_ is real," I whisper to myself.

After leaving Callie with a soft kiss, careful not to wake her again, I head into the bathroom to splash some cold water on my face. I let out a heavy sigh as I bend over the sink, the memory of my dreams still lingering in my mind. Why is this happening to me? Why, after a lifetime of repressing these horrific memories, are they surfacing now? I grab a towel to dry my face and stand up straight, meeting my reflection in the mirror. I can see the fear and sorrow in my own eyes, and the longer I stare at them, the deeper I venture into my soul. It isn't long before the eyes staring back at me in the mirror are those of the little girl…the little girl who is trembling in fear.

"Please, Daddy…please, don't hurt me," I hear the younger version of myself cry again.

"Lieutenant Castille," Timothy shouts as he inches his way towards my father's rifle. I didn't understand what my brother was doing back then, but as the memories invade, all the pieces begin to fit together. "Why don't you let me take this one," Tim says, gesturing towards my trembling body on the floor. "I can tell she is going to be difficult."

"What are you talking about, Tim?" I ask, lifting my face long enough to look into his bright blue eyes. In those eyes, I see the world full of love and trust that I am used to…and for just a moment, I feel safe again. I am too young to comprehend my brother's plan, but as I look into his eyes, I know I must go along with it.

"Trust me, Arizona," I hear him whisper, a little girl's tear-filled eyes meeting mine again in the mirror as I attempt to come back to reality.

I close my lids tight in an effort to try and stop this awful process, relieved when I open them to find nothing but my own reflection before me. "It isn't real. None of this is really happening," I mumble to myself, willing the image in the mirror to remain the same. But the harder I try, the harder it becomes…the longer I look into the large piece of reflective glass, the more my mind unravels.

I stare into the mirror, slowly inching my face closer and closer to the glass in disbelief as my brother appears behind my reflection. This time, he is not the little boy from the memories. He is the man who died serving our country…the person I miss each and every day of my life. "Tim…Timothy, is that really you?" I ask, turning abruptly to catch him as he walks past me.

Once my back is to the mirror, he is gone. The vision of my brother, dressed in the uniform he was buried in, quickly fades, leaving me with a sense of loss and despair. I close my eyes and inhale deeply, my heart stopping in sorrow as I turn back and gaze deep into the mirror once more. And then, I feel it…a feather light touch on my shoulder. I don't have to see him to know he is present, and for the first time in hours, a smile forms on my face. "You really _are_ here, aren't you?" I whisper, taking comfort in the knowledge that Tim is still with me.

"I'll always protect you," the familiar voice of my beloved older brother resonates in the air, so low that you almost can't hear it, yet clear enough to know it's real. But the memories are real too, and the little girl trapped inside them keeps pushing for me to hear another voice. The voice in my mind is that of a little boy…my childhood soul mate…my friend, my confidante, my hero. "I'll always protect you," a much younger Timothy promises me before roughly pulling me off of the floor and shoving me in the direction of our bedrooms.

There is a long and narrow hallway leading to my brother's door, and Tim holds my arms behind my back as he escorts me into the room. "I'll take care of her," Tim yells over his shoulder to my father, still stuck in his role as the lieutenant who forced him to become a monster. Timothy doesn't wait for a response and quickly closes the door behind us, his back pressed up against it as he sucks in a round of deep breaths. "I know this is really confusing, Arizona. And I know you're scared," Tim says once we are safe in the confines of his bedroom.

"What's happening, Tim?" I cry, rubbing the tender spot where I landed on my side. "What's wrong with Daddy? And why are you pretending to help him?"

My brother couldn't even try and explain it all to me back then…I was too young and innocent to understand the effects of war. I knew there were people in my family who had died serving our country…people like my grandfather, but I was always taught that the sacrifice was beautiful and noble. What I came to learn as I grew up was the farthest thing from noble or beautiful. Soldiers being forced to kill innocent people, crimes of hate being committed, damage done to the hearts and souls of good men who just wanted to protect us all. Funny, isn't it? My dad became a soldier to protect people and yet, he is the person we needed protection from. A soldier wounded by trauma …the man I honored and looked up to, was the only human being who ever made me fear for my life. That is, until I met Gary Clarke.

I couldn't explain to Callie why I had frozen when that lunatic came into Ruby's room. Hell, I didn't even know back then. But right now, it all makes sense. These memories were stirring even then, the little girl inside of me very much present on that fateful day. Luckily, I had Callie there to protect me. Without even thinking, she stood between me and the barrel of a gun. She just knew exactly what had to be done, much like my brother knew all those years ago.

"Come on, Arizona…get inside," I hear my brother tell me as I am ripped from reality once more. My body catches up with my mind and I feel my feet moving…_slowly_ moving to the one safe place I can remember. I feel the walls closing in around me in this small, dark space….trapping me, suffocating me.

I try and stay quiet, but I'm afraid and I gasp audibly when I hear my father's voice bellowing right outside my hiding spot. "What are you doing in here, Robbins?" he screams at Tim, the shadow I can see through the tiny slats growing larger as my father steps closer and closer. "Where's the girl?"

"Just leave her alone," Timothy cries, his tone firm despite how terrified he must have been. "She's just a kid." What happens next is too difficult to remember, images of violence flashing quickly behind my lids as I try to block out the memories. Shouting…threatening…demanding…punishing. Violence…blood….fear…pain.

Once again, I am trapped…stuck between the past and the present, afraid that there is no way out. I scream, the sound of my own terror echoing inside the tiny room I have been in for God know how long now. The sound is blood curdling, but I find myself feeling better. Hearing my voice, knowing my lungs still work…that I am still alive, brings me out of the terrible nightmare and into the real world. When I hear a rattling outside the closet door, I start to panic. I close my eyes, the image of my father ripping open another door many years ago. My body is trembling, my breathing ragged as I wait for him to come.

But he doesn't come. My father is not the one on the other side of the door. "Arizona…honey, it's me. It's Calliope," my wife says with affection, her voice cracking a bit. "I'm going to open the door now," she tells me as the handle begins to turn.

"Help me. _Please_…help me," I cry as the tears trickle down my face, my heart beating hard inside my chest. Callie looks down at me in horror when she sees me, her big brown eyes instantly filling with tears. I am huddled in the far corner of our closet, rocking back and forth with my arms wrapped around my legs.

"Alright…it's alright, baby. Let's get you out of here," Callie whispers, her hands shaking as she pulls me up off the floor. She wraps her arms around me so tight, holding me close against her warm body.

I feel like I am caught in a heavy fog, my body moving so slowly as my mind continues to work on overdrive. I don't know what to do. Don't know how to explain all of this to my wife. She will want an explanation as to why she just found me hiding in our closet, and she deserves one. But I couldn't possibly tell her about my dreams…my nightmarish memories…my encounter with Tim in our bathroom. Could I? It would all seem too crazy. It _feels_ crazy. _I_ feel crazy.

I take a deep breath and open my eyes, slowly removing myself from Callie's arms so I can exit the world of my secret hideaway. Like a zombie, I walk over and sit at the edge of our bed, wiping the last remaining tears from my eyes. "And here I thought coming out of the closet once would be enough," I joke, a nervous grin plastered on my face. I lift my eyes to meet my wife's, noticing the pain behind them…pain I have caused her.

"Arizona…" she cries, kneeling down in front of me. "Don't…just, _don't_," she says when I keep that fake smile going as if the past few hours haven't happened.

"What?" I ask as I look away from her. "Really, Callie…I'm fine." She arches her eyebrows, giving me her best scowl. "Okay, so I may have had a bad dream. But I'm fine now."

"A bad dream?" she repeats, raising her voice in frustration. "Arizona, come on…I just found you crouched down in the corner of our closet, screaming and crying for help. And, and what? You're just going to try and dismiss it…whatever really happened. You're just going to pretend that everything is okay?"

I think back to my brother…how he pretended everything was okay to protect me. "I said I am fine, Callie," I tell her again, wanting more than anything to keep her from going through the pain with me.

Callie backs away from the bed, her fists balled up in anger. She paces the room for a moment, those beautiful eyes penetrating my soul every time I dare to gaze into them. "Arizona, please. Don't shut me out," she pleads her voice thick with emotion.

"I love you, Calliope," I tell her, meaning every word. "But I can't stand here and argue with you all day. Thank you for helping me get to sleep last night. And thanks for taking care of everything this morning."

Callie opens her mouth to speak, but I cut her off before she can even get one word out. "Well, look at the time," I say, glancing down at my watch. "Our son is going to be wondering where his breakfast is…better go feed him." With that, I turn on my heels and walk away. I walk away from the love of my life to protect her…to protect myself…to protect us all.


	2. Chapters 8 thru 10

**Chapter 8**

_**Callie's POV:**_

It's been two weeks since I found Arizona huddled in the corner of our closet, her tiny body rocking back in forth in complete and utter terror. For days, I tried to get her to talk to me…tell me what she remembered, let me share her pain. But after several attempts leading to the same argument, I gave up. The more I push her to talk, the more she pushes me away.

Since that day, my wife has been like a ghost. Her figure is present, but she is not really with us. The blank look in her eyes…the amazing blue eyes that usually hold my soul, is daunting. What if that sparkle never comes back? Where will that leave us? Where will that leave _me_? Or our children?

Arizona pretends as if everything is okay…as if the shell of her former self is enough. She comes and goes as she pleases, leaving for work before the sun comes up and often returning home long after we've all gone to sleep. She barely sees our little surprise, and the only saving grace is that he won't remember any of this. Timothy doesn't understand why his mommy can't look into his eyes the way she used to while nursing him. He can't understand why bottles of pumped milk have replaced cuddles and dimpled smiles. But our peanut, the sweet girl who worships the ground my wife walks on…well, she understands it all too much. Sophia keeps asking why her mommy isn't coming home for dinner, or picking her up from school like she used to. She wants an explanation for the empty spot in bed that usually occupies my wife…the spot she likes to wiggle her little body into in the early morning. How can I tell her that her mother's spot is empty because Arizona is empty? How can I tell her that the mommy she knows and loves is vanishing right before our very eyes? Trying to explain what's happening to a three year old is nearly impossible, especially when I don't even understand it myself. Even in her darkest hour, the Arizona Robbins I fell in love with has never disappeared on me like this before, and I'm terrified that she's not going to return.

One Robbins woman I sometimes wish would disappear is Barbara. Normally, my mother in law's presence would be welcome. Normally, nothing would make me happier than to see my children with their beloved Grandma. But spending all day with the woman who is partially responsible for ruining your life isn't easy, not to mention the pain I feel when I glance into those blue eyes or see a dimple peek out from behind her smile. Hers are not the dimples I want to see…her eyes are not the ones I want to stare into everyday. I want _my wife _back, and having her mother around all the time is a constant reminder of what I'm missing.

"You sure you don't want me to take Timothy to the daycare?" I ask the older Robbins woman, avoiding eye contact like I have been for the past two weeks. "I'm sure you could use a break, and I'll have to get used to dropping them both off."

"No. No, Callie…that's alright," Barbara says as she looks down at her sleeping grandson. "It's cold…and, and it's snowing. Why take him out if you don't have to? Besides, what would I do in this big house all alone? I've been spoiled having you here for the past two weeks. It's been so nice spending time with you…"

I let out a sarcastic chuckle, amused by how alike mother and daughter can be. "Just keep on pretending, Barbara. A lot of good that's done us so far," I whisper under my breath as I finish making Sophia a peanut butter sandwich. I notice Sophia frowning out of the corner of my eye, her head hung in despair over her bowl of cereal. "Hey, peanut…you know what?" I say, taking on a cheery tone. "When you were in my belly, I loved peanut butter sandwiches," I tell her, putting on a great big smile.

Sophia's little head whips up, her own smile starting to form. "Yeah, Mama? You liked the peanut butter just like me?" she asks, her sweet voice breaking my heart.

"Yup, I sure did," I tell her truthfully, choking down the lump in the back of my throat. "I ate peanut butter sandwiches all the time. Well, when your mommy let me." I cringe, squeezing my eyes shut for a moment as I realize my slip of the tongue. I've been trying not to mention Arizona very much, even though it pains me. But every time we talk about her, Sophia gets so upset…and since she insisted on going to school today, I want to make sure the day gets off to a good start. "I-I'm, I'm sure Mommy can tell you about it….how I used to sneak the jar of PB into my lunchbox. She'll tell you all about it…when, when she's not so busy. Mommy's been super busy at work, you know?" I stammer, my voice riddled with guilt.

"I know. You keep saying dat, Mama," Sophia says, the frown coming back a bit. "Mommy's got lots a sick kids to take care of at da hospital. But maybe I see her today, cause I gonna be at da hospital too."

A heavy sigh is released from deep within my chest at the realization of why my daughter insisted on going to the daycare today. She is so desperate to connect with her mother, and I understand exactly how she feels. Every day, I've been waiting for Arizona to come home on time…to walk in the door and tell us she's sorry for being away so much, that she wants to work through this whole ordeal together. But it never happens. I've fallen asleep without her so often I almost don't remember what it feels like to hold her. For the past week, I've started to lose any glimmer of hope that I'll get to spend more than a few minutes a day with her. But today…today, I go back to work…to the same place my wife has been hiding. And so, just like Sophia, I have hope again.

I catch Barbara's eyes for a second when she passes me to get some coffee, unshed tears clouding her baby blues. "You are a very smart little girl, Sophia," my mother in law says, her voice cracking a bit. "Mommy is one lucky lady if she gets to see you today."

Sophia smiles, her little face lighting up at the mere thought of running into her mommy. I don't have the heart to tell her that her wish may not come true…that Arizona, in all likelihood, will avoid us at the hospital too. "Well, we'd better get going," I say, keeping up the happy façade. "Zola's waiting for you, you know?"

"Zola…yay," Sophia squeals in excitement, quickly hopping out of her chair. "Uncle Derek say she be missin' me lots and lots while I stay home."

"Oh, I bet she did," I say, cracking a genuine smile as I think of the two little girls together. "Daddy said you guys were inseparable last weekend."

"What's in..insep-a-able mean, Mama?" Sophia asks, her brow furrowed in confusion.

"It means you don't want anything to come between you," I explain, giggling at her attempt to repeat the word.

"Yup, me and Zola insepa-able," she says proudly, her hands placed firmly on her hips. "Just like you and Mommy. You and Mommy insepa-able too, right Mama? Mommy told me you her best friend, just like Zola my best friend."

Words cannot describe the ache in my heart, the longing for my wife so incredible that it bring tears to my eyes. Looking into the big, brown saucers that match my own, I am at a loss for words. I don't know what to tell Sophia…how to be honest, yet make her feel secure. So I take a deep breath and close my eyes, then just tell her the truth. "Yes, sweetie…your mommy is my very best friend in the whole wide world. And I love her. I love her with all of my heart, and I never-_ever_ want anything to come between us."

Once again, I see the look on Barbara's face out of the corner of my eye, each of us choking down a lump of guilt. "So, _don't_…don't let anything come between you," she whispers, our eyes locking for a spilt second. "I know my daughter can be difficult, but…"

"Please, Barbara…don't tell me what Arizona can be. I know what she can be. She can be warm, and happy, and so full of life. She was all of those things before this…before _you_ got here."

"We can go now, Mama?" Sophia asks as she tugs on my shirt, those big, brown eyes pleading with me. "I all ready."

"I'm ready too," I tell her, glancing sideways at Barbara to get my point across. "We just need to give Timmy some kisses first, okay?" Sophia nods her pretty little head and follows me over to the bouncy seat, where her brother is still sleeping. "I love you, buddy," I whisper to my little man as I lean down to place a tender kiss to his forehead. Sophia does the same, peppering Timothy's tiny face with butterfly kisses. "Call me if you need anything," I instruct Barbara, my tone much harsher. "We'll be home around five."

"Have a good day, sweetie," my mother in law calls to Sophia as we walk towards the front door. Sophia turns back to give her grandmother a hug, then comes barreling towards me, taking my hand and holding it tight.

When we arrive at the hospital a few minutes later, Mark is walking towards the elevator. "Daddy…hey, Daddy," Sophia yells, letting go of my hand to catch up with her father. Mark turns on his heels immediately at the sound of our daughter's voice, his arms outstretch for his princess. "Hi, Daddy. I gonna go to school today," I hear Sophia tell Mark as I approach them.

"Well, isn't that a nice surprise," Mark says, clearly quite shocked to see Sophia at the hospital. "I thought you and Blondie were home schooling her or something. If I wasn't her father, I don't think I would have seen her these past few months."

"Ha, ha…very funny, Mark," I say, giving him an elbow to the ribs. "We gave her a choice, you know? We didn't make her stay home on maternity leave with us."

"Is that true, Sophia? Did Mama really let you decide…or did she keep you locked up?" Mark jokes, tickling Sophia all over until she begins to squeal.

"She…she, she let me pick. I promise, Daddy. Mama and Mommy say I can pick," Sophia rambles in between fits of laughter.

"Hey, wait a minute…aren't we missing somebody?" Mark asks, suddenly aware that I am not carrying a tiny bundle. "Where's your baby brother, Soph?"

"Timmy at home," Sophia tells her father as we step into the elevator. "No, no…I wanna push the button, Daddy," she screams when Mark reaches his hand out.

"You got it, kiddo," he says, smiling brightly at our little girl. "So, if you and Robbins are both back to work now, why is the baby at home? Donna told me you dropped all his stuff off at the daycare last week and…"

"He's with Arizona's mother," I say, cutting him off before he can keep going. "She decided to stay a bit longer and offered to keep him home."

Mark raises an eyebrow at me, quietly suspicious of the whole thing. "Let me guess, the Colonel dropped in on you guys too. That's why your wife is spending so much time here, to avoid having to deal with that old grump."

"No, Daniel is definitely _not_ here. Thank God," I say before I realize my words. I reprimand myself with a palm to the forehead, my face contorted as I await the inevitable. "Go ahead…just say it, Mark."

"What? Why do you just assume I have something to say?" Mark asks, feigning offense. I roll my eyes, not in the mood for his games. "Okay, okay…so I know why I'm not particularly fond of your's wife's father, but you two have always seemed so close. I mean, I thought you got along really well."

"We _did_," I reply, cringing once again at my own words. "We _do_. I mean, we um…you know what? Forget it. Just drop it Mark. Please…"

I look over at Sophia, who is watching us intently, her little ears taking in everything, even if she doesn't understand it. As the elevator doors open up, I see Teddy walking towards the surgical wing. "Hey…Teddy, wait up," I yell, my eyes silently begging Mark to take Sophia.

"Yeah, yeah…go ahead," he says, pushing me out of the elevator. "I'll take this munchkin to school."

"I love you, peanut," I whisper as I lean down to kiss my little girl goodbye, her eyes roaming from my face to her Aunt Teddy's behind us. She waves her chubby hand at Teddy and smiles, that one little dimple coming out to play. "Have a great day at school today, Soph. Mama will pick you up when I'm done working."

"_Or Mommy_….Mommy can pick me up," Sophia tells me, desperation in her sweet voice.

"Yes…yes, baby girl_. _If…if Mommy can, I'm sure she'll pick you up," I stammer. I choke down the familiar lump that seems to be a constant source of discomfort these days, blinking back the tears that are threatening to surface. I plaster on a wide grin for my daughter, waving wildly until the elevator doors close and I can let out the heavy sigh I've been holding in.

As I turn to face Teddy, I see the frown on her face, her sad eyes locking with my own. "Still no change, huh?" she asks, reaching out a comforting hand to pat my shoulder.

"Nope. She hasn't said a word about it," I tell my wife's best friend, gaining another sympathetic look. "I even told her that I called you…that I told you what was going on. I figured she would at least get mad, you know? Lash out at me for divulging all that information…tell me it wasn't my place to discuss our problems with you. But she said nothing. She just shrugged her shoulder, turned out the light, and came to bed."

"Yeah, that's basically the same reception I got when I tried to talk to her," Teddy informs me. "We were doing a heart transplant on one of her kids last night. I figured it was a good time to bring it up because she couldn't run away from me, like she has been the rest of the week."

"So, what happened?" I ask as I walk with Teddy to the OR.

"She told me she was fine…that she didn't need my help or anyone else's," Teddy says, her voice lowered to a whisper when a scrub nurse passes us in the hall. "I kept trying to break down those walls she has up, but she wouldn't even look at me."

I hang my head in despair, tears burning the back of my eyes. But I resolve not to cry…not here, not at work. "What am I supposed to do?" I ask Teddy, knowing full well she doesn't have an answer.

"I don't know, Cal," she says, shaking her head back and forth. "Give her some more time maybe. Let her know you're there whenever she's ready. Just don't…don't give up."

"I'll never give up on her, Teddy," I tell her, nothing but truth in my words. "She's my whole life. Without her, none if it feels right." I start to break, letting a lone tear travel down my cheek until it falls from my chin.

"I know, I know," Teddy says, pulling me in for a hug. "I'm sure none of this feels right to Arizona either, Callie. I'm sure she doesn't want to hurt you or the kids. She'll come around. She'll have to eventually."

Just then, my pager goes off. I whip my head up, catching Teddy's eyes briefly before I look down to see a 9-1-1 page from the ER. "Well, looks like we both have somewhere to be," I say as I clip my pager back to my scrub pants. "Thank you, Teddy. Thank you for at least trying with her."

"Your welcome," she says as she pulls her surgical mask up over her face. "I won't give up on her either, okay?"

I nod, offering my friend a small smile of gratitude before I turn and walk away. As difficult as it is., I have to push Arizona out of my mind for the time being. There is a patient in the emergency room waiting for me, and I need to give them my full attention.

I turn the corner towards the elevator, trying desperately to stop my heart from swallowing up my mind. But just as I begin to shake all thoughts of my wife out of my head, there she is. "Oh…hey. Good morning, Arizona," I say with every ounce of affection I have for her.

"Morning," she replies, those bright blue eyes never really reaching mine.

"I, I can't…I have to go. I-I just got paged to the ER," I stammer.

"Okay," she says stoically, turning her body away from me quickly.

"But I, I would really like to talk later," I say, causing her to stop in her tracks. "I thought maybe we, we could have lunch together or something."

"I have surgery at noon. It will probably take a while," she tells me, clearly not willing to spend any time together. "See you later, Callie."

I watch her walk away, my heart dropping in my chest. "Sophia….Sophia's here today," I yell before she is out of sight completely. Arizona turns around, her face finally showing some emotion at the mention of our daughter. "Maybe you could stop by the daycare and see her…just for a few minutes. I know she would really love to see you." I hear a heavy sigh being released from down the hall, my wife's eyes closing briefly. "She…she doesn't understand, Arizona. And she, she misses you…"

"I'm busy, Callie," Arizona says, cutting me off. "My schedule is full and I, I just won't have the time."

"Arizona, " I cry, my voice thick with emotion. "Please…"

"I have to go. I have patients waiting for me. And so do you," she says, walking away and not bothering to look back this time.

I stand in the hallway for a few moments, my whole world spinning inside my head. My pager is beeping incessantly, but I can't move. I'm stuck…stuck in this god awful place, watching the woman I love slip away from me.

_**Arizona's POV:**_

The pain in my heart is so intense I can barely breathe as I walk down the hall, the image of my wife's distressed face imprinted in my mind. What the hell am I doing? Every day for the past two weeks I have been living a lie….pretending, avoiding, coping in the only way I know how. Each night as I sneak into my own house, slithering like a snake into bed, I contemplate waking the beautiful woman beside me and sharing my deepest, darkest secrets with her. These secrets…these _memories_, are destroying the wonderful life Callie and I have created. _And I am letting them_. I've been so afraid of facing my past…so determined not to let another person bear the weight of my pain, that I've somehow become the one causing pain. I've hurt my children, my wife, _myself_. And the longer I keep these walls up, the harder it is to let them down.

"There you are," I hear a familiar voice bellow from behind me, my mind plunging back into reality.

"Oh…hey, Teddy," I say, my tone matching the melancholy state of my heart.

"I've been looking all over for you," she tells me, her eyes scanning mine to try and make a connection. "We have a serious problem, Arizona."

"What?" I ask, a feeling of dread coming over me suddenly. "What is it?"

"Our transplant patient…Julia Doyle," Teddy says, her eyes lowered to the ground.

"No…no, she was fine. I just checked on her this morning. Her vitals were good…the incision was healing nicely...she was eating cereal and watching TV, like a perfectly healthy kid," I ramble, my nerves getting the best of me. "There's no way…"

"Arizona…stop," Teddy interjects, grabbing me by the shoulders. "Julia is alright. Everything you just said is true. The transplant was successful and she's recovering nicely."

"Jesus, Teddy…you scared the crap out of me," I yell, my eyes narrowed at her. "If Julia's fine, then what the hell are you doing here? I have enough going on right now, you know?"

"No…no, I _don't _know," Teddy yells back, anger evident in her usually kind eyes. "I don't know what's going on with you lately…because you won't talk to me."

A few heads turn in our direction when Teddy raises her voice, and I instinctively grab her by the arm and pull her into the corner of the wing. "Can we just discuss our mutual patient please, Dr. Altman?" I say, anger building behind every word.

Teddy just stares at me for a moment, her head shaking back and forth in disappointment. "Alright. Alright…you want to discuss our patient?" she says, stepping closer to me. "Here we go. I didn't come here to tell you that anything is wrong with Julia physically. In fact, that poor little girl doesn't know anything is wrong at all yet. But something is wrong, Arizona. Something is terribly, terribly wrong…and that child is not going to be fine after she finds out that her mother left."

"What? What are you talking about?" I say, my eyebrows lowered in confusion. "Cynthia was just here last night, checking on her. I mean, I know that she is struggling with the financial aspect of this…working two jobs, taking care of Julia on her own and all. I'm sure Julia will understand that her mom has to work to pay the medical bills. I can explain it to her..."

"She didn't leave to go to work, Arizona," Teddy blurts out, stopping me from going any further. "She left a note at the nurses station, saying she wasn't coming back. I believe her exact words were: _I can't do this anymore. My parents are on their way. I have handed Julia's care and custody over to them. I'm sorry_. Do you think Julia will understand that? Huh, Arizona?"

I am at a loss for words, completely and utterly stunned by this bit of information. My jaw drops and I just stand there, staring straight ahead for a moment. "How, h-h-ow could she do that to her? It's…it's insane and just, j-just not fair. Julia needs her. How does a mother just abandon her child like that?"

The look that I receive from my dear friend is one that I may never forget, the shrug of her shoulders deliberate as she stares into my eyes. "I don't know, Arizona. But I do know this….there's another little girl in this hospital, asking herself the very same thing."

In an instant, I am more than aware of who and what Teddy is referring to. Her words hit me like a knife, my precious peanut's face flashing behind my lids as I squeeze my eyes shut to stop the tears. Teddy is right…what I've been doing to my daughter is just as bad as what Cynthia is doing to Julia. I may not have physically left Sophia, but I have abandoned her. By staying away from home…by hiding in this hospital like a coward, I have left Sophia without her mommy. It sickens me to think of all the pain I have caused my sweet girl…the little girl who I love with all of my heart. Of course, I have abandoned my son as well…not to mention my poor wife, who has been struggling with my absence and caring for our children all on her own. Oh God, what a horrible mess I've made. I have to do something to fix this, even if it means going through the pain and heartache of re-living my past. I still don't want to do it, anymore than I did this morning, _but I will_. I will do _anything_ to get my family back… anything to prove that I love them and that I'm never going to abandon them again.

"Callie. Where, w-where's Callie?" I ask, glancing at Teddy even though I am really just processing my thoughts out loud. "ER….she, she said she was paged to the ER."

"Then get your ass to that emergency room right now, Arizona Robbins," Teddy tells me, offering a warm smile as she reaches out to wipe a stray tear from my face. "It's not too late to get help. I'll help you get through this. Callie will help you. She told me this morning, she'll never give up on you. She loves you."

I feel a small smile start to form at the corners of my mouth, knowing my wife was sincere and hoping that she can forgive me. "Thank you. Thank you, Teddy," I whisper, squeezing her hand before taking off in the direction of the elevator.

I am thankful to be alone inside the small room that is carrying me down to the woman I love, a moment of quiet reflection exactly what I need to get through this. "She has to forgive me. Dear God, please let her forgive me. I need her. I need all of them," I whisper into the empty space before me, my own voice echoing against the cold steel.

**Chapter 9**

_**Arizona's POV:**_

I am thankful to be alone inside the small room that is carrying me down to the woman I love, a moment of quiet reflection exactly what I need to get through this. "She has to forgive me. Dear God, please let her forgive me. I need her. I need all of them," I whisper into the empty space before me, my own voice echoing against the cold steel.

The doors open up into the chaotic world of the ER, doctors and nurses scrambling around to get supplies and patient charts. I push past the crowd surrounding the triage unit, my eyes scanning the area for Callie.

"Dr. Torres," I call out, desperate to catch even a glimpse of her face. "Does anyone know where Dr. Torres is?" A few people shake their heads and it is obvious that Callie is nowhere to be found. I head to the nurses station and inquire again. "Excuse me, do you happen to know if Dr. Torres has seen her patient yet? Perhaps they were taken up to surgery? I really need to get in touch with her."

"I'm sorry to have to tell you this, Dr. Robbins," one of the ER nurses says as she reads my lab coat, "but the patient Dr. Torres was assigned to passed away before she even got here. I don't know if she knew the man, but Dr. Torres seemed very upset. She told me to page the Chief and let him know she would be leaving for the day."

I stand there dumbfounded for a minute, a strange feeling coming over my entire body. "Oh…oh, I see," I choke out, suddenly experiencing a lack of oxygen. Callie isn't falling apart because she lost a patient. She is falling apart because she lost her life. I took it away from her two weeks ago when the ghosts in my closet scared me enough to run away from her. I promised her I would never do it, but I _did…_I bailed on her again.

I can barely breathe knowing that I am the one responsible for my wife's pain, and I run frantically towards the elevator in a desperate attempt to get to her. "Come on…come on," I yell, gaining a few odd looks from a group of interns patiently waiting behind me. Finally the doors open up and I step inside, spreading my arms wide to block the young doctors. "Take the next one," I tell them as I push the door close button, not caring about anything or anyone except my wife.

I arrive at Callie's section of the hospital and begin to search all the places I might typically find her, my body moving quickly through the halls of the Orthopedics wing. I peek my head into the attendings lounge, but it is empty. I run full force around the corner to her lab, but the door is locked. "Where are you?" I whisper aloud, my forehead pressed up against the wall.

"Hello, Dr. Robbins," a strangely familiar voice resonates in the air. I turn to find James, the intern who helped Callie with her research last year. I must look perplexed, because James feels the need to identify himself. "I'm James, your wife's research aide. I was her intern last year….you know, on the cartilage project? Anyway, I am a resident now…in Ortho, of course."

I just shake my head up and down, forcing out a smile to let James know I remember him. "I'm sure you're doing an excellent job, James. My wife has had nothing but good things to say. Speaking of Dr. Torres, have you seen her? I've been looking everywhere and…"

"She's in her office," he says before I can continue. "I saw her go…"

"Thank you," I say, cutting him off this time. "I'll be sure and tell her how helpful you were," I holler as I race down the hall towards my wife.

When I get to Callie's door, I am out of breath, my heart pounding in my chest for more than one reason. What if she doesn't forgive me? What if I've pushed her away for good this time? I've barely spoken to her in the last two weeks. I've neglected our marriage, the vows we took, our children. I don't know how I can face her after all I've put her through. But I have to. I have to make her understand that what I was doing, I was doing for her. I wanted to spare her the pain and misery of re-living my past. Yes, I wanted to avoid the memories too…but more than anything, I just wanted to protect her.

I wrap my hand around the door knob, my palms sweaty with anticipation. Here goes nothing. I start to turn the knob, but realize quickly that the door is locked. That's odd…Callie never locks her office door. "Cal, C-Callie…are you in there?" I ask tentatively. Silence. I press my ear up against the door, my soul shattering when I hear her soft cries. She sounds so terribly sad, her sobs only subsiding when I rap lightly on the door.

"Who is it?" her muffled voice inquires, the cries coming to an abrupt halt.

"It's me. It's Arizona," I tell her, my head resting against the door. For a moment, there is nothing but silence again. I'm afraid she's going to push me away now…tell me to leave or just ignore me, as I have been ignoring her. And I deserve that. Just as I'm about to start pleading with her…_begging_ her to let me in, I hear a click. The knob rattles as my wife opens up the door, and all I can hope is that she'll open up her heart too.

I take a deep breath, gaining the courage I need to face my wife….face my mistakes. I slowly push the door open, and the sight before me nearly knocks the wind out of me. Callie is sitting behind her desk, her face buried in her hands. She is still crying, the tears falling hard in desperation. My heart aches seeing her in so much pain, and I instinctively run to her side.

"Callie…oh God, Callie," I whisper as I kneel beside the desk. "Please, tell me what I can do."

My wife slowly lifts her head, those amazing chocolate orbs staring straight into my soul. For the first time in weeks, I don't look away. There is so much pain and sorrow in her eyes…and I bear it all, gazing back at her intensely. I want her to know that I am here…_really_ here, this time.

"My, my patient died," Callie whispers, "He, h-he just slipped away before I could even help him."

"I know," I say, gaining a questioning look. "I was looking for you a-and, and I got to the ER just after it happened. One of the nurses told me you were really upset and…"

"I wasn't upset because I lost a patient," Callie says, raising her voice to stop me from rambling. I close my lips, knowing full well that it isn't my turn to talk just yet. "I mean, of course I was upset that he died. I would rather not have any of them die, but…you know. Anyway, I-I got down to the ER and Hunt told me it was already over…that he had done everything he could, but that there was just too much damage."

Callie starts to cry again, her eyes squeezed shut in a futile attempt to stop the tears from falling. I reach a hand out and touch her knee, cringing when she pulls away from me to stand up. "I planned on doing some research in the lab," Callie continues as she moves towards the window, staring out into the cold, gray winter. "But as I was leaving the ER, I heard the most horrible sound. Peter, the patient…it was his wife. She had just found out that her husband had died and she…she was screaming. She was screaming and crying, saying how she couldn't live without him…how she wanted to die too."

"Oh, Calliope…" I breathe out, tears forming in my own eyes as I come to stand behind her.

She turns at the sound of my voice, her sad orbs penetrating my soul. "That's how I've been feeling these past few weeks," she says, reaching a hand up to wipe her tears. "You may not be dead…_thank God_, but you're gone. You've left me and I, I feel like I am dying inside. I keep going…for the kids, but I'm not really living anymore."

I feel the tears threatening to spill out, the knowledge of just how much I've hurt her hitting me like a ton of bricks. "And just like Peter's accident, this whole thing with us happened so unexpectedly," Callie continues, turning back towards the window. "One minute I have the most perfect, wonderful life…and the next minute, I am alone with two small children and a broken heart. All because I couldn't get to you in time…because you think you're too damaged to let me help you."

"I am. I _am_ damaged," I say, watching her release a frustrated sigh. "But I didn't come here to tell you that. I didn't come here to make another excuse as to why I can't come home for dinner, or pretend that everything is okay. I _am_ damaged, Calliope. These memories are haunting me…_terrifying_ me. And I feel like I am going crazy. I feel broken." Once again, she turns towards me, bright blue reflected in dark brown as our eyes lock. "But I'm not too broken to be fixed," I whisper as I take a step towards her. "That is…_if you still want to fix me_."

Callie's jaw drops in surprise, but I can see the glimmer of hope in her eyes. "What exactly are you saying, Arizona?" she asks, her voice cracking with nervous anticipation.

I grab the hand within my reach and squeeze it tight, gazing deep into her eyes again. "I'm saying that I need help, Callie. I need to talk about what I'm going through. I need a shoulder to cry on…arms to hold me at night. I need _you_," I tell her, letting my tears fall freely now. Callie is stunned into silence, a look of disbelief plastered on her face. "I'm so sorry. I am so, so sorry for the way I've been acting. I just…I-I didn't want to hurt you or the kids, and I thought…"

"You thought avoiding us would be better?" Callie mutters, her tone laced with sarcasm. "You didn't think it would hurt not to have you around? I meant it when I said I've been dying without you, Arizona."

"Please, Callie. Just, j-just try and understand," I plead, my heart fluttering when she weaves her fingers through mine and takes a step closer. I rest my forehead against hers and inhale sharply, my soul being healed already. "It's bad enough I have to go through this. I just thought…I thought I could spare you the pain of going through it with me. I just wanted you to be happy."

"Don't you get it yet, Arizona? I _can't _be happy without you," Callie whispers. "You are my happiness. You and those beautiful babies we have. Our babies. They're _our_ babies. They are you and me…together. And, and we need to raise them _together. _They deserve to have both of their mothers."

"You're right. They do," I agree, pulling back to look into her eyes. "I want to be a _good_ mother again, not the mess I am right now. They deserve better than this. _You_ deserve better than this," I say, my voice cracking with emotion.

"There is nothing better than this," Callie whispers, her hand resting over my heart. "Good, bad, damaged, broken…no one can compare to you. Just ask our daughter."

"Sophia…my poor, sweet girl," I cry, a lump of guilt choking me. "How can I explain this to her? She probably hates me by now."

"Hates you?" Callie says, her eyes growing wide. "Arizona, that little girl loves you more than rainbows, and candy, and toys. She could never hate you. She's just been waiting…waiting for you to come home to us, just like I have."

I throw my arms around my wife and pull her body as close to me as I can, inhaling that sweet scent I'd almost forgotten as I run my fingers through her soft, black curls. "I love you, Calliope. And I will do _anything_ to make this up to you. I'll get help…go to therapy…do anything it takes to get past this," I ramble, my words flowing quickly along with my nerves. "And, and I know this is a lot to handle. And I understand if you need some time to process. I understand if you can't forgive me right away and…"

My rambling comes to an end when a pair of soft, full lips cover my own, Callie's kiss sending a shock through my entire system. It's been so long since I've felt her mouth on mine…and my god, this is a feeling I never want to forget. Tongues and teeth gnash as we reconnect, out bodies and souls joined after a long, painful separation. I hold her face, trying to show her how much I love her with my kiss until the need to breathe overcomes me. I pull back and stare into those gorgeous, brown eyes, my heart both broken and healed at the same time. Callie looks at me with so much love, her warm smile lighting up the room. "I love you too, Arizona," my wife whispers, the blue reflection fading in her eyes as she methodically takes a step back.

What happens next is so unexpected, yet I need it more than I needed that kiss. Just as I realize it's about to happen, I am hit with a cold, hard palm. I feel the sting of Callie's fingers on my face and instinctively close my eyes. I can't help but wince, and I catch a hint of regret on her face as she brings her eyes up to meet mine again. "Don't you ever pull this crap on me again, Arizona," Callie warns, her tone harsh and demanding. "I love you and I forgive you, but it's not okay to walk out on me like that…to walk out on all of us. You abandoned your family. You broke all kinds of promises, Arizona…oaths that you took when you agreed to be my wife. For better or worse, in sickness and in health…remember that?"

I suck in a deep breath and try to "I know, Callie. And I'm…"

"We're supposed to deal with things together. What you did…it's not right. I'm your wife. You're allowed to lean on me…you're _supposed _to lean on me."

"I _do_ lean on you, Callie," I whisper, my hand covering the sore spot on my cheek. I watch my wife swallow hard and remove my hand, not wanting her to feel any guilt. I deserved that slap, just as I deserve the verbal reprimand I am receiving. "I didn't plan this, Callie. Everything just sort of spiraled out of control on me and I…I, I panicked. I know it sounds like I'm making excuses, but I was just trying to protect you."

"Protect me? I'm the one who's supposed to be protecting you this time, Arizona," Callie practically screams at me, frustration evident in her voice. "You've done your fair share of protecting me…of taking care of me. After the accident…months of physical therapy, a preemie in the NICU. You took care of all of us then. What if I had shut down? What if I had pushed you away? Or, or what about Malawi? What happened out on that boat? Should I have kept that from you? Should I have left out the fact that a man almost raped me? I could have. I could have easily spared you from those horrible details, but I didn't. You know why? Because I _needed_ you. And keeping that to myself wouldn't have protected you. It would have destroyed us."

"Have I done that? Have I, h-have I destroyed us?" I ask, my heart plummeting in fear. The silence in the room is frightening and I think perhaps Callie has changed her mind. Maybe she can't forgive me after all. Maybe we can't move past this. I close my eyes, releasing the shaky breath I've been holding in since I asked the question that will determine my future.

I keep my lids closed tight until I receive my answer, the feeling of Callie's hand on my own letting me know that hope is not lost. "Of course not, Arizona," she whispers, her thumb moving in small circles over my skin. "_Nothing_ can destroy us." I open my eyes and smile at this amazing woman, the burden of despair lifted off of my heart. "I want to understand, baby," Callie tells me, squeezing the hand she's been holding tight now. "I just need you to talk to me. I promise you….we will get through this, as long as you let me in."

"I didn't want you to protect me," I say, looking away from her in shame. I turn around, knowing I need to share my fears but unable to do so with those big, brown eyes staring at me. "The last time you tried to protect me, you almost died and…"

"What are you talking about?" Callie interjects, grabbing my shoulder and pulling me back around to face her.

"The, the shooting…Gary Clarke. You…y-you stepped in front of a crazy man with a gun. _For me_…you, you did it to protect _me_. What if he had shot you? What if you had died protecting me?"

"But I didn't. I didn't die, Arizona," Callie says, lifting my chin until I look into her eyes.

"No, you didn't. But your life was in danger," I remind her as I lean into her touch, her fingertips brushing the mark they have left regretfully. "Everyone is always putting themselves in harms way to protect me," I whisper, my insides churning with guilt. "I've already ruined one person's life…I, I don't want to ruin yours. I can't have that on my conscience again."

"Again?" Callie questions, her brow furrowed in confusion. "Whose life are you referring to, Arizona?"

"My brother's," I say, choking down the vile taste that comes up with that admission. For the rest of my life, I must live with the knowledge of what happened to my brother, and all because he was trying to protect me. "Tim…h-he, he tried so hard to keep my safe," I tell my wife, placing a tender kiss to her hand before walking over to the window. As much as I want to change…as much as I want her with me, I need a little space if I'm going to get this all out.

I hear a heavy sigh being released from my wife's mouth, yet she doesn't make a move. She gives me exactly what I need by keeping her distance, a simple nod telling me it's okay to go on. "He tried so hard, Callie," I whisper as I stare out into the dark, gray world. "We, w-we were just kids…and he was so brave, so very brave," I continue. "But sometimes, it doesn't matter how brave you are. You can fight a war…fight for the people you love…fight your own father, for God's sake. Tim did that. He did all of those things, and he did them with courage, and honor, and bravery. But he still died. My brother is dead, Callie. And I can never thank him for what he did for me. I can never tell him how brave I thought he was."

I take a deep breath, my quick rambling stealing all oxygen from my lungs. I'm sure most of what I just rattled off makes little or no sense to her…hell, it doesn't all make sense to me just yet. But I know how I feel, and I know what I am starting to remember. I bury my face in my hands, the grief in my heart spilling forth in the form of fresh tears.

I stand at the window and just cry for a few moments, finally giving myself the emotional release I've needed these past few weeks. Just as my sobs begin to subside, I feel the light touch of Callie's hand on my shoulder and turn towards her. "You needed that, didn't you?" she asks as she brings her hand up to my face to wipe away the last remaining tears.

"Yes…yes, I did," I reply as I take the tissues she is offering. "You always seem to know what I need," I whisper, the hint of a smile playing on my lips.

"I'm your wife. It's my job to know what you need," Callie says, shrugging her shoulders and smiling back as if everything is right in the world.

"I love you," I say with conviction, staring deep into her warm, chocolate eyes. "I love you so much, Calliope. And I'm so sorry for hurting you."

"I know. I know that you were hurting too. And I forgive you, Arizona," Callie tells me, our eyes remaining locked as our bodies inch closer and closer.

I can see my whole world in those eyes, and I just can't take my focus off of them…that is, until I see a pair of arms open wide for me. "Come here, baby," Callie whispers as she pulls me into her embrace, soft lips covering the top of my head. "I love you too…just as much as you love me. And don't you forget it."

"I won't, I won't," I breathe into her neck, my lips hovering above her skin in temptation. I want so badly to kiss her…to taste her, and touch her, and just feel every part of her. But she's already give me so much…forgiven me, helped me, loved me. I can't ask anymore of her. I'm sure she still needs some time to process everything, and I don't want to rush her. When she's ready, she'll come to me. I'll wait, just like she's waited for me the past two weeks.

"So, now what?" Callie asks, snapping me out of my thoughts.

I pull back and look up into her adoring eyes, so grateful that I'm the one to receive her loving gaze. I lean in and steal a quick kiss, pressing my lips so softly to hers for a moment. There are butterflies in my stomach, and I can almost feel the electric current passing between us. I think she feels it too by the way she smiles at me, her breath hitching in her throat. There is so much love and desire burning inside of me, and I have to shake my head to focus on the question at hand. "I don't know what we do now," I whisper honestly, still feeling so ashamed of my behavior.

Callie sees the embarrassment on my face and grabs the fingers nervously fidgeting with my wedding band, giving them a gentle tug. "Now we try and go back to normal, as much as possible," Callie says, her lips pursed to one side. She shrugs her shoulders, clearly feeling a bit awkward herself. "We go home…have dinner _together_ for a change. How does that sound?"

"That…that s-sounds great," I stammer, swallowing the lump in my throat.

Callie smiles that breathtaking smile and my heart skips a beat. She's glad I want to go home with her. After everything I've put her through, she still loves me…she still _wants_ me. "Okay, good," my wife chokes out, finally breaking the quiet tension in the air. "I already informed the Chief that I was done for today, so I'll just go pick up Soph…"

"No," I blurt out, interrupting her suddenly. "I, I mean…if it's ok-kay, I would really like to pick our daughter up today," I say, both my voice and my eyes pleading with her.

"Of course," Callie replies, her eyes glistening with presumably happy tears. "I'll head home and get dinner going while you go get our peanut."

I wait while Callie grabs her things, then stand with her out in the hallway as she fumbles with her keys. Her hands are shaking a little as she locks her office door, and I breathe a small sigh of relief that I am not the only one who's so nervous. "Thank you," I whisper, stepping forward to kiss her cheek softly. "I'll see you at home."

Callie nods, leaving me with one last smile before we go our separate ways. I turn back a few times as I make my way towards the elevator, catching my wife's eyes as she does the same. Inside the same steel box that delivered me to her just an hour ago, I can almost hear my heart pounding in my chest. I barely have time to recover from the rollercoaster of emotions I experienced with Callie when the doors re-open on the third floor, another girl waiting for me just a few steps away.

I round the corner quickly, not wanting any further delay in getting to Sophia. Large, glass doors and windows are the only thing that separate my world from hers when I reach the daycare. Sophia's classroom is visible from the hallway, and I position myself directly in front of the door, my eyes scanning the area for her. It takes a minute, but when I see her…my heart leaps in my chest. She doesn't see me at first, so I just stand there and watch her. Watch her playing dress up, her little body swaying in the mirror…watch her laughing with Zola, her ringlets bouncing as she laughs wildly, just the way her mama does. That laugh…it's infectious and within seconds, I am laughing with her.

Her head snaps towards me at the familiar sound of my giggle, and I watch the most brilliant pair of eyes light up just for me. I am unbelievably happy to see my baby, but the guilt of having kept myself from her nearly tears me apart. I've missed morning cuddles, and lunch visits, and bedtimes. I've missed two whole weeks of my little girl's life…and I know, she's been missing me. It's so hard to face her, but I need to…I _want_ to. More than anything, I want to go back to being her mommy. I want to hold her and Timothy in my arms and never let them go.

Sophia rips the fancy hat off her head and whips in my direction, her tiny throat unable to contain the squeal of joy that comes out of it. Her voice is muted through the glass, but her words are unmistakable as she presses her chubby, little fingers up against the door. I lift my own hands to mirror hers, our fingertips touching if it weren't for the barrier between us.

"Hi, Mommy," I hear her faintly say, the dimple her mama says she stole from me gracing the world with its presence. "You came for me, Mommy."

I shake my head vigorously, wanting her to be sure I'm not going anywhere. "Yes…I'm here, Sophia," I say quite loudly, wanting her to hear me. Then I point to the double doors behind me, signaling that I am going to enter the daycare.

Sophia nods, her smile beaming from ear to ear. I say a quick hello to the director as I sign her out at the front desk, then run to greet my daughter properly. I barely have the door to Sophia's classroom open when she barrels full force into my arms, tears instantly burning the back of my eyes.

"Hey, baby girl," I whisper as I crouch down, hugging her tight. "Mommy missed you."

"I missed you too, Mommy," Sophia says, pulling back to look in my eyes. "You crying, Mommy?" she asks when she sees my tear-stained cheeks, her bright eyes turning sad.

"Yes, sweetie. Mommy is crying," I reply truthfully. "I'm just so happy to see you, peanut."

"I happy to see you too," she says, pulling me into her classroom. "Look, Donna…my Mommy's here this time. I told you I would see her since I came to da hospital."

The desperation in my child's voice is like a knife going through my heart, and I wince as if I'm in physical pain when I hear that statement. "Good to see you, Dr. Robbins," Donna says, offering me a kind smile. "Hope everything's okay."

"No, Donna…everything is _not_ okay," I tell the woman who has been caring for Sophia for nearly three years now. Donna loves our daughter, and the look of concern in her eyes is unwavering as she glances back and forth between Sophia and I. "But it's going to be," I continue before Donna starts to worry too much. "Everything is going to be okay now. Thank you. Thank you for taking such good care of my little girl when I can't." I say those last words with deliberation, locking eyes with the woman before me. Donna just tips her head and smiles, then open her arms to receive a hug from her favorite kid.

Like an old pro, Sophia gathers her things and heads to the door, patiently waiting for me. "Ready, kiddo?" I ask, already knowing the answer.

Sophia can barely contain her excitement as we ride the elevator down to the lobby, her little body bouncing around inside the small room. I can't help but smile as I watch her, my heart so full of love. We walk home, hand in hand, easily picking up right where we left off. "Did you have a good day at school today?" I ask my daughter, peering down at her from under the large umbrella covering our heads.

"Yup. I had fun with Zola and Becca," Sophia says as she lets go of my hand to go jump in a large puddle on the sidewalk. "We played dress up and, and had a tea party with our dollies. And Miss Donna let us do paint on da eisel, and we sang the ducky song at circle time."

"Wow, that sounds like fun," I exclaim, my eyes widening with amazement. "I'm really happy you had such a good day, Soph. And I'm really, really happy I get to spend time with you tonight," I say sincerely, choking down the lump that has suddenly formed in the back of my throat.

"You gonna stay at our house tonight, Mommy?" Sophia asks, her big, brown eyes scanning mine. "Your sick kids all better now?"

I suck in a deep breath, consumed with guilt once more. I know Callie has been making excuses for me, and it kills me that my action have caused her to lie to our peanut. "Mommy always has lots of sick kids to take care of, honey," I begin, pulling Sophia back in under the umbrella as the rain starts to pour down.

We run as fast as our feet will carry us to the front porch, thankful to have shelter from the storm. I glance behind us at the house, smiling at the place that holds my real shelter…my _family_, my _kids_, my _wife_. When I turn back to Sophia, her beautiful eyes are staring up at me with affection, and it takes every ounce of strength I have to begin speaking again. "I'm really, really sorry I haven't been around these past few weeks," I tell her, holding her tiny hands in mine. "I'm sorry if that made you sad, sweetie. I hope you're not too mad at me."

"Mad at you?" Sophia questions, her eyebrows arched. "I not mad at you, Mommy," she says, smiling up at me. "I just missed you lots and lots. But you came back, just like Mama said you would."

"Mama said that, huh? Well, she was right. I'll always come back to you, because I love you so much," I say, my voice cracking with emotion.

"I love you too, Mommy," Sophia says, her arms wrapped around my leg. I breathe a sigh of relief, grateful that Sophia's innocent heart hasn't been broken by my absence.

Just then, the front door opens wide and Dorado comes running out onto the front porch, his tail wagging incessantly as he circles around me. "Hi, buddy," I chuckle when the dog rubs his cold nose across my hand, begging for attention. "Looks like you missed me too."

"We all missed you," a beautiful voice calls from behind me.

I whip my head in Callie's direction, offering her a warm smile as I gaze into her eyes. "Hey," I whisper, swallowing the ever familiar lump.

"Hey yourself," she replies, winking at me playfully. Sophia goes barreling through the front door, her four-legged friend following close behind. My wife and I are left alone on the front porch, our eyes locked as our souls try desperately to reconnect. There is still a bit of awkwardness between us, but I won't let that scare me away. I won't let anything scare me away from her ever again. "You gonna come in out of this rain or what?" Callie says after a moment, her smile warming my heart.

I nod and smile back, dimples setting deep into my cheeks as I experience pure happiness for the first time in weeks. I step over the threshold into the world I left behind…the world of joy, and love, and peace that I have only been able to find with my perfect, little family. Timothy is asleep in house bouncy seat, just as he always is before dinner. I kneel down on the floor beside him, tracing his plump, pink lips with my fingertip. "Hello, handsome. Mommy's back now," I whisper to my sleeping angel, so thankful he won't remember how long I've really been away.

Out of the corner of my eye, I can see my wife watching me from the kitchen, her eyes glistening with unshed tears once again. I make my way towards her, bright blue shining in deep brown the closer I get. "It's so good to be home," I say, a million unspoken words passing between us as our eyes remain locked.

"Good to have you home." Those words would sound like music to my ears if only Callie were the one to say them. But no…it is another woman's voice I hear. The voice that lulled me to sleep as a child…the voice that reprimanded me as a teenager…the voice that normally makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside. But I don't feel all warm and fuzzy inside today. Today, I feel sick to my stomach as I listen to my mother utter those words.

The bubble I've been floating in the past few minutes has popped, and I come quickly crashing down to reality. My struggles are far from over, and looking at my mother is a clear reminder of that. I want to run…to get away from the pain again…to bail on my past and all the problems it is causing my present life. But I can't do that again. I made a promise to my wife and our children that I would climb this uphill battle with them. And so I stay, holding on to the belief that love can conquer all.

**Chapter 10**

_**Callie's POV:**_

My back is towards the two Robbins women as they sit in uncomfortable silence, just waiting for dinner to be served. Normally, I would be rushing to put food on everyone's plates…but not tonight. I stir my sauce slowly, my hand gripping the wooden spoon with fierce determination. I am determined…determined to remain calm and not let my mother in law's presence ruin what should be a good night. Arizona came back to us all today. And although we have a long road ahead of us, it's a much easier road to travel now that we're together.

It has been a very emotional day. When I woke up this morning, alone again, my heart was heavy. A sense of despair I have seldom felt before coursed through my system, making it difficult to perform the tasks that are expected of me as a mother and as a doctor. At home, the guilt of lying to my children, particularly Sophia, was wearing on me. I felt forced to keep up the façade that the mommy my little girl adores was just too busy to come home. Even though I know it was for the good of my daughter, I disliked keeping the truth from her. That is not the kind of parent I am…not who I _want_ to be. But my wife put me in the awful position of lying…of keeping secrets and hiding things from the people I love, just as she has been for the past two weeks.

I know that Arizona has been suffering, memories haunting her to the point where she actually disappeared from us. And I tried to be understanding…tried to remember the kind of person she is, her instincts to run away when things are too hard to face. In fact, up until today, I was nothing but understanding and compassionate. All I wanted was for my wife to come home…to open up to me and let me help her through this terrible ordeal. Then I went back to work….back to the reality that exists outside of our home. I had patients to care for…people whose lives were in my hands. But I couldn't focus on them. I couldn't concentrate during surgery. I couldn't do my job as a doctor because Arizona wouldn't let me do my job as her wife. Perfect strangers were trusting me with their lives, yet the person I love more than anything couldn't do that. She wouldn't let me in, wouldn't let me help her, wouldn't let me take care of her.

That's when the fire inside of me started to burn, anger igniting a flame of passion that I just couldn't put out. It began when I got to the emergency room, learning from Owen Hunt that the patient I was called for had already died. I was late getting to the ER because I ran into my wife, our brief conversation leaving me more heartbroken than ever. Peter Howell would have died anyway, of that I am sure. But still, I neglected a patient because I wasted time trying to get through to Arizona. For the first time since all of this started a few weeks ago, I was angry with her.

That anger only grew when I had the misfortune of witnessing Peter's wife break down in despair. This woman had lost the love of her life suddenly. She was distraught….irrational…consumed by grief. That's when it hit me…this woman and I were no different. True, Arizona was still living and breathing, but she had left me. She _chose_ to leave me and our children How dare she do that to us? We made promises long ago…in our wedding vows, in the silent pledge our bodies create every time we make love, in creating life together. _Til death do us part_. Like Peter and his wife- that's the way it's supposed to be. With the somber sounds of tragic death ringing in my ears, I left the emergency room, my heart about to burst in furious sorrow.

Then Arizona shows up at my office, saying the things I've been wanting to hear for days now. And of course, I want nothing more than to hold her and tell her everything is going to be okay. I looked into those amazing, blue eyes and saw the world of hurt and fear that my wife was trying so desperately to hide from. I wanted to protect her from that world, spare her from her memories, take away her pain. And so I kissed her with every ounce of love and passion inside of me, savoring the feeling of her lips on mine. For the first time in two weeks, I felt whole again. That kiss brought to life what I already knew…that I can't live without her. It would have been easy for me to get lost in the moment…to get lost in the endless ocean of her brilliant eyes…get lost in her touch, her smell, her _kiss_. But I didn't want a quick fix. I want _forever. _And so I did the one thing I knew would keep her from leaving me ever again…the one thing that would truly bring her back to reality. _I slapped her_.

My heart hurt much more than my hand as I pulled my fingertips away from her face, the pain of hitting the woman I love so much greater than anticipated. I felt my whole body cringe as I looked into her eyes again, the shock of my actions clearly having an affect on her. But I couldn't take it back. _I didn't want to take it back. _Arizona needed that slap as much as I needed her. It woke her up…broke down walls…and ultimately, brought her back to me. I watched my wife go through an awakening. And a few hours later, I watched her walk through the front door with our daughter. Arizona came home today…_in so many ways._

Everything was beginning to feel right again, despite the awkwardness our separation has created, and my heart was filled with so much joy. Finally, my family was together again…all four of us, in our beautiful home, just as it should be. I could tell that Arizona felt it too…the undeniable happiness floating in the air like a perfect, pink bubble. But that bubble was about to pop, perhaps _explode_ even. Because it _isn't_ just the four of us tonight.

"Did you have a good day at work, dear?" the intruder asks, breaking the eerie silence that has filled the kitchen since she made her presence known.

I turn my head and look Barbara Robbins right in the eye, my brow furrowed at her ridiculous attempt at pretending that everything is fine. "What? I'm allowed to ask my daughter how her day was, aren't I?" Barbara says, plastering a smile on her face.

"Stop, Mom…just, _don't_," Arizona says, looking down at the table in disgust. "I'm done pretending. We can all stop acting as if the big, pink elephant in this house has gone away. It hasn't. And it _won't_…not until everyone acknowledges it's here. And when I say _everyone_, Mom…I mean _you_."

"I'm sorry, Arizona," Barbara says, her fingers circling the buttons on her sweater nervously. "I was just trying to make conversation with you. I've barely seen you the past few weeks and I thought…"

"You thought sweeping everything under the rug was a good idea," Arizona interjects, her eyes still focused on the table. "That hasn't worked for the past twenty- eight years, Mom. What makes you think it's gonna work now?

I can see Barbara's face out of the corner of my eye as I open the refrigerator door, all color drained from her usually rosy cheeks. For a moment, she just stands there in silence, unable to argue with her daughter on this obviously painful point.

"I'm sorry if I've done that," Barbara finally says, her voice barely above a whisper. "I'm sorry if I've turned a blind eye to our problems for all these years. I'm sorry if I've taught you to do that…to bury your feelings, to keep it all hidden inside. I'm sorry if I've hurt you. I'm just…_sorry_."

"Sure you are…_now_," I mumble under my breath, my back turned from the two of them as I continue to make dinner.

"What? Did you say something, Callie?" my mother in law asks, a hint of anger in her tone.

"Yes, Barbara…I _did_," I say, looking over my shoulder to face her as I begin to disperse the pasta onto everyone's plates. "Of course you're sorry _now_…now that everyone's lives are ruined," I tell her, my tone harsh and bitter.

For the first time in several moments, Arizona's eyes leave the table and meet mine. "Our lives are not _ruined, _Calliope. I meant what I said earlier…I'm going to fix this."

I can see the truth in her words behind those baby blues, and the corner of my mouth naturally begins to push upward into the trace of a smile. I lean across the table and take my wife's hand, wanting to show her that I believe her…that I believe _in_ her, and in _us_. "I know," I whisper, my eyes remaining locked with hers. "I just wish there was never anything to fix in the first place."

"That makes two of us," she says with a smirk, a tiny chuckle escaping her lips.

"Three. That makes _three_ of us," Barbara bellows from behind us, her eyes filled with unshed tears. "_Please_…I know I've made mistakes. I know I have. But I can't change the past…none of us can." She then turns to me, her head ducked down to make me look her in the eye. "I know you're angry with me, Callie. I'm sure both of you are angry with me for many, many reasons. And I don't blame you. Really…I, I understand why you hate me right now. But, b-b-u if you give me a chance…"

"I don't _hate_ you," I mutter, avoiding her eyes for a moment. "This is all just going to take some time. You need to give us a chance to figure some things out…_on our own_."

"Oh, I…I-I see," my mother in law stammers, hanging her head in shame. "Yes, I suppose I've been asking a lot of you all by staying here in your home. I'll call a few hotels and get my things ready. I'll be out by the morning."

Arizona glances at her mother, then looks over at me, her eyes pleading with mine. "Mom…you, you don't have to leave. Callie, please…"

"That's not what I meant," I tell them both, clenching my fists in frustration. "I was only trying to ask that you give Arizona and I a little space, Barb."

"I can do that," she replies, offering me a small smile. "I've been meaning to see the sights of Seattle anyway."

"Thanks," I say, smiling back at her briefly before the timer on the oven goes off. "Shit….shit, shit, shit. I totally forgot to put the bread in the oven."

"That's okay, Cal," Arizona says, lightly patting me on the shoulder as if she's afraid to touch me. "Your sauce is amazing…smells fantastic. "Peanut….come on, peanut," she calls to our daughter, "Dinner's ready."

Everyone gathers around the table, the adults attempting to make polite, everyday conversation for Sophia's sake. There are moments of excruciatingly awkward silence, my wife and mother in law both playing with their pasta like they got caught with their hands in the cookie jar before dinner. Despite the seriousness of the situation, I find myself trying desperately not to laugh. I don't know what it is about the Robbins women, but they sure are cute when they're nervous…_one_ of them in particular. I make a mental note to put an end to the ridiculous discomfort my wife and I are experiencing with one another, wanting so badly to strip Arizona down…in more ways than one.

I just can't help but stare at her, my heart still so relieved that she is here tonight. With everything inside of me, I wish I could just take it all away for her…the pain, the sorrow, the fear. Looking at her, I know she gets the message. I know Arizona understands-that is why she left me in the first place. She wanted to spare me from this world of hurt. Between only our eyes, we come to an understanding. Loving smiles are exchanged, and from across the table, Sophia catches us. The widest grin of all forms on her beautiful, little face, and I feel as if my heart is going to burst with all of this love.

After dinner, Barbara does as promised. She says goodnight to Sophia and makes a quick exit, glancing back at us only once as she meanders down the hallway to the guest room. "Goodnight, girls…and thank you again."

Timothy is finally waking up from his long nap just as his sister is about to fall asleep at the dinner table, her exciting day clearly catching up with her. "But I not tired yet, Mama," she whines as I lift her out of her booster seat, her little ringlets coated with spaghetti sauce.

"Here…I'll take her," Arizona says, laying a hand on my back as she comes up behind me. "Why don't you give our little man his bath while I get her ready for bed? Then I can nurse him while we…_talk_."

"Sure. That, that sounds good," I choke out, swallowing the lump in my throat caused by Arizona's touch. I turn and pass her our daughter, brown eyes reflected in blue. "I would love that actually," I whisper, intentionally grazing her hand with my fingertips.

The most magical smile lights up the entire room, my wife's dimples melting my heart as she gently rocks Sophia on her hip. "Say night night to Mama, baby," she tells our peanut, whose head is resting comfortably on her shoulder.

"Night, Mama. I love you," my little girl says through a very big yawn, her little hand bending in a half-hearted wave.

"Goodnight, sweetheart. Te amo demasiado, mi amor," I whisper as my lips come to rest on Sophia's forehead. "I bet you'll sleep good tonight, now that Mommy's home."

That statement wasn't intended to make Arizona feel guilty, yet I can tell it has. I can see her eyes well up and a frown naturally forms on my face, my head tilted to catch her eyes again. "You're home now…and that's all that matters," I tell her sincerely,

She sucks in a deep breath and nods, then disappears down the hallway with our little girl. "You be here when I wake up, right Mommy?" I hear Sophia ask just before they reach the bathroom, her weary head lifting up just long enough to look Arizona in the eyes.

"Yes, baby," I hear my wife say as she wraps her arms tightly around Sophia's little body. Arizona can see me watching them and smiles. "I'm not going anywhere," she announces loudly, causing me to smile in return.

_**Arizona's POV:**_

It doesn't take long for Sophia to fall asleep once she is washed up and changed into her pajamas. Her tired, little hands have to fight just to brush her teeth, and her eyes close almost immediately after I tuck her into bed. "Sweet dreams, peanut," I whisper to the tiny angel whose hands are wrapped around my arm. The only response I get is a small smile, her eyelids fluttering open to reveal adoring, brown saucers. I wait until I hear her soft snores before I move, hoping my wife is right…that Sophia will feel safe and sound tonight, now that I am home. I swallow the lump of guilt that comes up as I look at my little girl, wishing more than anything I could take back the past two weeks.

Of course, that is not possible. What is possible, however, is moving forward with my life…reclaiming the family I love so much, and proving to them all that I will never leave them again.

Once I am able to remove myself from Sophia's desperate hold on my arm, I walk across the hall to Timothy's room. The door is ajar and I can see my wife getting our son into the light blue sleeper that she knows is my favorite. I wait outside the door and just watch her with him, my heart swelling at the beautiful sight before me. Timothy is lying on the changing table, his little arms and legs pumping as he looks up at his mama. Every time Callie touches him or talks to him he coos, sweet baby sounds filling the air. He looks so happy being with her, and I can't blame him. Being loved by Calliope is pure happiness, her beautiful smile and warm eyes lighting up the world.

"I bet you're happy to have your mommy back too," I hear her whisper as she lifts up our baby boy, placing a tender kiss to his plump, pink lips. "I know _I_ am."

Before I can get caught, I intrude on their little moment, making my presence known by clearing my throat outside as I push the door open. "Hey…"

"Hey, yourself," Callie says, just as she did a few hours ago out on the front porch.

We both start to laugh at the déjà vu we're experiencing, my nervous giggle only coming to an end when Timothy cranes his neck at the sound. "Hi there, little man," I whisper as I make my way over to them. I still feel so out of place in everyone's lives, so I stand back a bit and just look at Timothy, afraid to jump in and take him like I want to. Callie must see the hesitation in my eyes and makes it easy for me, inching her way closer with our little surprise. Timothy's beautiful blue eyes are searching for me still, his neck straining to get a better look. "Look at you," I say as I reach a hand out to stroke his cheek, my heart filled with both joy and sorrow. "You're getting to be such a big boy, Timmy. Yes…yes you are."

"You can take him, you know?" Callie says, holding Timothy out to me.

I don't hesitate this time, my arms reaching for my baby as soon as he is offered to me. For the first time ever, Timothy looks up at me and smiles…a real, genuine smile. "Oh my God…did you see that?" I ask, glancing over at my wife. "He…h-he smiled at me, Callie."

"Yes, he did," she replies, a smile of her own quickly forming. "Isn't it awesome? He looks just like you when he smiles."

My heart is soaring for a moment, Callie's words giving me butterflies in the pit of my stomach. _She still loves me…she's always loved me… she always will love me_ I think to myself, happiness coursing through my veins. It is only when I realize the cold, hard truth behind my wife's statement that my bubble is popped again, my heart plummeting down from the happy cloud it was visiting. "I…I missed it. I missed his first real smile," I stammer, suddenly feeling sick to my stomach.

"Arizona…I'm, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to make you feel bad. I wasn't thinking…" Callie trails off, squeezing her eyes closed.

"No…no, Callie. Don't apologize," I tell her. "I did this to myself. Even if it wasn't intentional…I, I did this. It's okay," I whisper, brining my lips down upon Timothy's head again. "I'm sorry I've missed so much of your little life, honey." The baby just continues to stare up at me adoringly, his tiny face radiating with nothing but joy. "God, Callie…I've been gone for what? Two weeks? Do you think he even remembers that I'm his mother?"

"Of course he remembers you, Arizona," Callie says, her voice cracking. "You gave him life…cared for him night and day for almost three months….nourished him, held him, loved him. Two weeks of limited contact with you hasn't erased all that.

The loving words spoken by my wife giving me all the reassurance I need, and I decide just to focus on the here and now, leaving my guilt over the past few weeks behind so I can move forward. "Ya think he's hungry?" I chuckle when Timothy begins to root around on my arm, the tell tale sign he is looking for his dinner. I move to the rocking chair with my baby boy and sit down, pulling Timothy to my breast as soon as I am situated. "Just like riding a bike," I say, thankful that he latches on right away.

Callie takes a seat on the floor opposite my chair, her back pressed up against Timmy's crib. There are a few moments of slightly awkward silence as I begin to nurse the baby, and I find myself looking back and forth between the beautiful bundle in my arms and his beautiful mama. Callie is doing the same, neither of us knowing how to start the conversation we must have. Finally, when the quiet becomes too much for her, I am met with a pair of big, brown eyes, their stare telling me it's time to get the ball rolling.

"I…I don't know where to begin," I say truthfully, keeping my eyes locked with Callie's. "I mean, there's just so much to talk about and…"

"Why don't you start by telling me what the past two weeks have been like for _you_," Callie interjects, shrugging her shoulders. "I know what they've been like for _me_. I've been here with the kids and your mom until today…and aside from her being here and you _not_, everything was pretty much just as it has been. Sophia was such a big help to me with the baby. It was awesome having all this time with her, and that little guy too, of course." I purse my lips and nod, trying so hard not to let the guilt wash over me again. Luckily, Callie presses on, not giving me enough time to even go there. "So…so what has life been like for you? Honestly, Arizona…"

"Honestly, Cal…I've been working as many hours as I possibly can, sleeping in on call rooms, even doing research. Basically, I've just been trying to avoid dealing with the big problem on my hands," I say, looking down at the baby so she doesn't see the shame on my face. Again, there is a moment of silence, and it takes all of my strength to start talking again. "I've been seeing him…a lot."

"Seeing who, Arizona?" Callie inquires, her brow furrowed in confusion.

"Tim…_my brother_, Tim," I say to clarify, the other Timothy beginning to fuss a bit in my arms. I lift the baby up and place his head on my shoulder, patting his back until a good, solid burp comes out. "Whoa…good one, buddy," I say with a giggle, the beautiful sound of Callie's laughter echoing behind it. I look over at her and smile, my heart once again soaring to the sky.

The smile on my wife's face only lasts a few seconds before she steers our conversation back on course. "What do you mean, exactly? About seeing your brother…what, what does that mean?" she asks, her mind clearly working to try and understand my words.

I unlatch the other side of my bra and wait for Timothy to begin eating again before I speak, not needing any distractions if I'm going to try and explain this all to her. "I'm seeing him everywhere," I whisper, my eyes shifting from Callie's down to the floor. "He's, he's in my memories….my dreams…my nightmares. Sometimes he's even here, Callie. Like, actually here on earth…in the same room as I am, or walking beside me on my way home from the hospital. I know it sounds crazy. And, a-and maybe I am crazy, but…"

"You are _not _crazy, Arizona," Callie says, cutting me off. "Your brother's been with us many, many times. I've felt his presence myself on a number of occasions. I'm not surprised he's with you now. Maybe he's trying to help you."

"Maybe," I say, lifting my head to meet her eyes. "I'm, I'm just…I'm just not sure anything can help me." I feel the tears stinging the back of my eyes, but keep them at bay by quickly looking down at our son again. "All done with your supper, sweetheart?" I say as I sit the baby up on my lap. As soon as he sees his mama, a loud squeal erupts from deep within his tiny body, his arms and legs waving frantically. "I think someone wants to see you," I tell my wife as I hold our son out to her.

Callie slides across the floor until she reaches the rocking chair, her big, brown eyes looking up into mine. "Come here, my angel," she whispers as she takes Timothy from my hands. She stands and begins to sway back and forth, the familiar sound of our son's favorite Spanish lullaby filling the air.

It only takes a few moments for Timothy to drift off to sleep, his white blonde hair resting over Callie's raven locks as he nestles into her neck. "You're so beautiful with him," I say, tentatively resting a hand on her back as she leans over the crib to put the baby down. "Thank you, Calliope. Thank you for being here when I couldn't be."

Callie pulls Timothy's blanket up around his tiny body, then turns to face me, studying my face for a moment. "Don't thank me, Arizona. I just did what needed to be done. You would have done the same for me."

"Your absolutely right," I say quickly, needing her to know I will always be there for her.

"I think maybe you should talk to someone about all of this. You know…your brother, all the memories…just, _everything_," Callie tells me suddenly, urgency in her voice. I can feel my body tense up, the implication of her words hard to swallow. "I mean, I want to help you. I want to listen too…go with you, be with you, support you. But I'm no professional…not in this area. And, and I think this is too serious to mess around with."

I shake my head and try to interject. "Callie, I…"

"Your life is not something I want to take a chance with," my wife yells before I can even try. "It would be no different if you had something physically wrong with you."

"I know," I tell her, hanging my head. "These memories are like a cancer, and I don't want it to beat me. So, I'll…I'll call Pscyh tomorrow and make an appointment," I say, feeling completely flustered.

"I really think that's a good idea," Callie chokes out, clearing her throat in an attempt to gain her bearings as well. "I hear Dr. Wyatt is really good. Owen saw her for quite a while after the incident with Cristina."

"Dr. Wyatt…great," I mumble, desperate to choke down my embarrassment.

"It'll be okay, Arizona," Callie whispers, taking my hand. "I'll be right there with you, okay? You just let me know when and where."

"Thank you," I whisper back, my eyes locked with hers for a moment. "I'm sorry that our lives will be disrupted again because of me. We're already so busy, between work and the kids. Now we're gonna have to try and fit something else in and…"

"Shhh…._stop_," Callie says, her eyes imploring me as she squeezes my hand tight. "It's important, Arizona. We'll figure it out. Maybe you can try and make your appointments for the night that Mark has Sophia." I open my mouth to speak, but my wife holds her hand up, telling me to be quiet. "I already know what you're going to say. And I'm sure Teddy will be more than willing to watch our little man. It'll be good for her…and for him. She _is_ his godmother, after all."

I simply nod in agreement, finally coming to terms with the fact that this is going to happen, whether I like it or not. A heavy sigh leaves my lips, my shoulders slumped forward in defeat. "Hey…come on, baby. Don't worry…everything is going to be alright," Callie tells me, her eyes making that a promise. Once again, my insides are aflutter.

Between the way she just called me her baby and the look of pure love in her eyes, I am beginning to grow weak in the knees. I swallow hard, pushing the temptation to kiss her out of my mind as I turn back towards the crib. "He really is getting so big," I say, exhaling loudly as I look down at our sleeping infant. "It feels like just yesterday he was in my belly, keeping me up at night and making me have to pee a million times a day."

Callie chuckles as she comes to stand beside me, nothing but adoration in the warm, chocolate eyes studying our sweet baby. "Yeah, he's growing way too fast," she whispers, her hand coming to rest on the small of my back. My breath hitches in my throat at her touch, and it takes every ounce of strength inside of me to remain focused on Timothy. "Before you know it, he'll be running around here and talking non-stop like our peanut."

"Yeah, but not just yet," I say, desperate to keep Timmy a baby for as long as humanely possible. As if he hears our conversation, Timothy begins to stir, releasing a long and incredibly adorable yawn.

Callie cocks her head to the side, her lips pursed as she gushes over our son. "Oh my God, Arizona. I can't even handle the cuteness. Just wait until he perfects that smile…those dimples are going to be the death of me."

I am the one chuckling this time, the sound of my laughter filling the mini version of Africa we're standing in. Timothy continues to squirm around in his sleep and I carefully lower my hand into the crib, running my fingers through his wispy, blonde locks. "Shhh….it's okay, little man. Mommy's here," I whisper, catching my wife's subtle grin out of the corner of my eye.

"We'd better get out of here before we wake him," Callie says, her hand covering mine for a moment over Timothy's head. My heart skips a beat…but still, I stay calm and focused. "Sweet dreams, my angel."

I follow Callie out of the nursery, stopping to steal one last glance at our precious boy before turning out the light. I can feel my heart rate go up when I enter our bedroom, this once familiar territory seeming like foreign ground tonight. Callie is nonchalantly getting ready for bed, her reflection in the bathroom mirror reaching me from my fixed position in the doorway. "You coming in?" I hear her ask through a mouth full of toothpaste, her eyes searching mine from behind the glass.

For a few seconds, I just continue to stand there, my body fixed to the doorframe as if I am glued in place. My palms are sweaty and my heart is now beginning to poundin my chest, nerves clearly winning over my body. When I can finally take in enough breath to speak, all I can say is, "Uh-huh."

I can't really feel my feet as they move into the bathroom, my eyes averting Callie's stare as I brush my teeth alongside her. For years, we've been doing this…going through this routine together. Yet tonight, it all feels brand new again…like the first night we spent together in the old apartment, after Izzy and Alex's wedding. Just like our first night, I am unsure of what is going to happen and my whole being is riddled with nervous anticipation. I rush through the process of getting changed, feeling awkward about my own wife seeing me undress. Despite how hard I try not to look at her, I am almost certain Callie is watching me…the feeling both exhilarating and unnerving.

I turn to face her, our eyes sharing the secret feelings neither one of us are willing to express. "I'll be out in just a minute," I say, nodding towards the toilet so that she gets my drift. Callie smiles and closes the door behind her, leaving me alone with my thoughts for a moment. "_Breathe…just breathe, Arizona_," I tell myself when I am finished using the bathroom, my hand wrapped tightly around the doorknob.

I feel as if I am entering a new world when I open the door, yet there is something so comforting and secure about being here. I want to tell Callie that…tell her that she is that comfort for me, that hers is the world I want to live in forever. But I am still so scared. So I just climb into bed instead, hitting the light switch as soon as I am tucked under the covers. I roll over to face my wife, offering her a small but genuine smile. "Goodnight, Calliope," I whisper, leaning in to kiss her cheek before flipping back around and clinging to my pillow like a life raft. I close my eyes tight, willing myself just to fall asleep so I don't have to fight the urge to do more than just kiss her.

"Goodnight…" she replies, an air of uncertainty in her tone. There is maddening silence for a moment, the kind of tension only experienced by two lovers filling the air. "So…I, I-I guess I shouldn't have taken you literally earlier," Callie mumbles suddenly, her body shifting towards mine.

I choke down the ever familiar lump, my eyes open wide behind her back. "Hmmm…what's that?" I ask, my quickly beating heart resonating in my ears. Again, there is silence for a moment.

"Before, in my office…you, you said you needed me," Callie whispers as she inches her way closer still. "I just thought…I mean, you said you needed me to…"

"I _do_ need you," I say, turning my head to meet her gorgeous eyes. "I thought that was obvious. I-I thought I'd been showing you all day long. I'm sorry if I haven't been…"

"No…no, you _have_," Callie interjects, swallowing a lump of her own. "I'm so proud of you for everything you've done today, Arizona. You've opened up more than I ever could have imagined…faced your fears…even put your mother in her place. That's not the part I was talking about."

"What part _were_ you talking about?" I ask, my eyebrows lowered in confusion.

"The part where you said you needed me to hold you," Callie breathes out, her lips hovering above my shoulder.

Bright blue is reflected in deep brown as I keep my eyes locked with hers. Between her low, sultry voice and the hot breath on my skin, I am about ready to lose all control and just throw myself at her. But I promised myself I wouldn't do that…that I would wait for her this time. "So, you just want to _hold_ me then?" I whisper, fully aware of what the alternative implies.

Callie bites that full bottom lip I love so much, sending a wave of desire straight to my core. Our bodies have somehow become pressed together, hands tentatively covering the places each of us are so desperate to cling to. I continue to stare into the pool of warm chocolate before me as I wait for an answer, my heart once again skipping a beat when I see my wife's head slowly shaking back and forth. "No, that's not all I want to do," Callie says, her eyes leaving mine to roam over my body.

Her beautiful lips are mere inches from my own when I lean back, stopping her before she can even get started. "Are you sure?" I ask, looking down as I fidget with the sheet nervously. "I meant _everything_ I said earlier, Callie. I understand if you need some more time…if you can't forgive me completely just yet."

Callie lifts my chin with her finger, her eyes penetrating my soul with their stare. "I forgive you," she whispers before her lips come crashing down into mine. Neither one of us wants to break the kiss, but a lack of oxygen causes me to do so, just as it did in Callie's office earlier today. I suck in a deep breath and smile before going back in for more.

My wife's soft, full lips only cover my own briefly before _she_ pulls back this time, her eyes moving to the place where her hand struck my face this afternoon. She opens her mouth to apologize, but I quickly place a finger to her lips, not wanting her to even utter the words. "I forgive you," I whisper just as her mouth begins to caress the tender spot on my cheek. "And more than that…I thank you, baby. If you hadn't of done that, I don't know…"

"But I _did_…and you came _home_," Callie says, her smile lighting up the room.

Callie continues to express her regret for her earlier action, her lips tenderly moving in small circles over my skin. I can feel the tears beginning to burn the back of my eyes, and I can't help but smile when I feel the same emotion spill forth from my wife. Callie's hot tears land on the cheek she is trying so desperately to heal with her love, and I run my fingers down her back to try and tell her that it's okay. My wife will probably always feel guilty for slapping me…just as I'll probably always feel guilty for bailing on her again, but that's the beauty of forgiveness. We may never forget, but Callie and I have forgiven one another. And because of that, we can move forward…better, stronger, closer than ever.

I wrap my arms around my wife, holding her so close to my body as my eyes beg for more. "Are _you_ sure?" Callie asks as she slides down to the foot of the bed, looking down at me with nothing but love and desire.

"_Make love to me_," I whisper as I stare back at her, a lone tear trickling down my face. "_I need you, Calliope…"_

Those are the last words spoken for quite some time, our bodies and souls doing all the talking. I watch with hooded eyes as my wife removes every bit of her clothing, her naked form leaving me breathless. I rip my shirt over my head and toss it aside as Callie takes me out of my pants, her strong hands easily maneuvering my body. I only close my eyes when I feel her lips on mine again, our tongues rolling together like two perfect waves in the ocean.

When we are both stripped down, Callie hovers her bare body over mine. Our skin is barely touching as she kisses me again, her teasing both a punishment and a reward. I want her so bad I can hardly think straight, and my back naturally arches off the bed in an attempt to get closer to her. Callie leans back and just stares into my eyes for a moment, her hands trailing up my arms as she moves them above my head. As much as I want to touch her, I'm not the one holding the cards tonight. As long as she is offering herself, I'll take her any way I can get her. I expect to be teased some more…tortured, tormented for being away from her for so long. But my wife holds true to her words, forgiveness coming through in the form of pure love.

"Te amo, mi amour," Callie whispers as she slides her fingers in between mine, our hands now joined above my head.

"I love you too," I say, blinking back another wave of tears.

With that, we begin to make love. Lips will be bruised by the morning, tongues as tired as our aching bodies. But none of that matters. What matters is that we have found our way back to one another. I savor the feeling of her lips as they travel down my neck and chest, my own lips seeking every piece of skin they can reach. We fit together so naturally, like two pieces of a puzzle, our light and dark skin blending as we bring one another to ecstasy. Callie keeps our fingers locked above my head, neither of us needing more than simple contact tonight. I can feel her clit throbbing against mine every time she pushes her body up to kiss me, the sensation sending a shiver down my spine. Just as I am about to come undone, I open my eyes and stare straight into her soul, our hearts healed by our lovemaking. Quiet moans and ragged breathing fill the air as we make our way back from heaven, everything seemingly right in the world again.

Callie finally releases my hands, rolling her sweat-drenched body to the side in sheer exhaustion. Without so much as a second thought, I nestle into her, my hands desperately seeking hers again. Callie holds me close, just like I need her to, pulling the covers up around our joined bodies. I listen to her beautiful heart beating, so thankful to be in her arms again. There is nothing awkward about being here now…no more reservations, or guilt, or sorrow. There is only love, happiness, and hope…hope that with Callie by my side, I can not only face my past- but overcome it. I drift off to sleep peacefully for the first time in weeks, dreaming of sweet baby smiles, the laughter of a beautiful little girl, and the perfect body of the goddess beside me. _My life is good…and so worth fighting for_.


	3. Chapters 11 thru 13

**Chapter 11**

_**Arizona's POV:**_

Waiting outside of Dr. Wyatt's office, I feel physically ill. The past few days have been almost perfect, time spent reconnecting with the three people I love more than anything. Sophia has been a little ball of pure joy, her devotion and love for me melting my heart. And my wife swears that Timothy is happier too…that he is smiling more than ever now that I am home. Our little surprise isn't the only one smiling all the time. I catch Callie staring at me every now and then, her beautiful face lighting up with the ear to ear grin she's been wearing since the night we made love.

Waking up in the arms of a gorgeous, loving woman is the sweetest gift I've ever been given, and I make a silent vow every morning not to that that for granted again. No matter how hard this next phase may be, I will get through it with Callie by my side. Facing my past is not going to be easy…but I can do it, and my wife makes sure to remind me of that every time we're together. The look in her eyes, the love in her touch, the passion we share…those are the things that keep me going, along with our amazing, beautiful children. Those are the things that have kept me from cancelling my appointment with Dr. Wyatt. Those are the things that are stopping me now from running as far away from this office as I can get.

"Feeling a bit nervous?" I hear a familiar voice ask, my head whipping up to meet my wife's eyes.

"Just a bit," I say with a nervous laugh, the lump in my throat threatening to choke me.

"It's gonna be okay, babe," Callie promises, taking my clammy hand in hers. I roll my

eyes at her, knowing full well that therapy is not going to be a picnic. "Okay, so even if it's not _okay_…I'll be with you, every step of the way. At least you can be sure about that."

I feel a small grin beginning to form on my lips, the adorable look on my wife's face making it impossible not to smile. She is trying so hard to convince me this isn't going to be awful, even though we both know it probably will be at times. "Thank you," I whisper, blue reflected in brown as I squeeze her hand.

Callie nods and takes a deep breath, then thankfully changes the subject. "So, your mother is out of town visiting that old friend of hers. What's her name again?"

"Louise. They've been friends forever. Grew up together in Michigan," I tell her. "Guess her grandson goes to school in Tacoma. Mom said they are going to visit the college, then just spend a few days relaxing. Watching movies, catching up…you know."

Callie shakes her head, but doesn't say more. I know she isn't too pleased with my mother these days, and I get it. In her eyes, my mom is one of the bad guys. Maybe Callie will understand a little better after we finish therapy. Maybe she'll see that my parents are so much like us…that my mom was just loving my dad the way she loves me.

"Anyway, Mark is going to keep Sophia tonight," Callie says nonchalantly, as if the subject of my mother never came up. "And Teddy said it would be okay with her if…"

"What? We can't leave Timothy overnight yet, Cal," I interject. "He's, he's too little still…and, and I'll need to nurse him. I just don't think…"

"If you let me finish," Callie says, shaking her head at me. "What I was going to say is…Teddy said it would be more than okay if the two of us wanted to go to dinner after the session. She thought it would be nice for us to have a little time alone. I thought it would be too. But if you'd rather just go get the baby and go home, that's okay too. Whatever you're comfortable with, Arizona."

"No. No…dinner, dinner would be nice," I choke out as I look down at the floor, embarrassed at my overreaction. "I'm sorry, Callie. I'm just so…._nervous_ right now."

"I'm a little nervous too, if that makes you feel any better," she says, ducking her head to catch my eyes again. I look up into her warm, chocolate orbs and there they are…all the reasons I am waiting outside this doorway to my past.

Just as I lean in to get a much needed hug, Dr. Wyatt opens the door and sticks her head out into the hallway. "I was wondering if you were going to show up," she says, a friendly smile directed at me. "Dr. Robbins, I presume…"

I extend my hand, nodding in acknowledgement that she is, indeed, correct in her assumption. "Arizona," I tell her as she shakes my hand. "This…this is my wife, Calliope. Um, Cal…Callie," I stammer, my nerves clearly taking over me.

Callie giggles a bit nervously herself, then grabs my hand and leads me into the office behind Dr. Wyatt. "I hope it's okay that I'm here," she says as she, too, offers her hand to the psychiatrist.

"Yes. It's fine," Dr. Wyatt replies. "Normally, I like to see patients one on one…unless it's couples therapy, which this is not." Callie looks over at me in a panic, her cheeks beginning to flush. "I usually find that people are more open when no one else is present," Dr. Wyatt continues, gesturing for us to take a seat on the couch. "But Arizona explained the situation, and in this case, I feel your presence is not only acceptable- but vital to her recovery."

I watch as Callie breathes a sigh of relief, her eyes closed for a moment. "Yeah, I basically told her this wouldn't happen without you," I explain, shrugging my shoulders when my wife looks at me in horror. "What? I can't do it alone, Callie. You saw what happened when I tried to. And I don't want to run away from this anymore."

"That's good, Arizona," Dr. Wyatt cuts in as she takes a seat behind her desk. "Knowing you need help and realizing your limitations is definitely a step in the right direction."

"So, how does this work exactly?" Callie asks as she laces her fingers through mine. "I mean, I want to help my wife in whatever way I can, but…but, I've never done this before. Do I just sit and listen? Should I be participating at all?"

I lock eyes with Callie for a moment and see the fear and worry behind them. "Baby, if this is too much for you…"

"No. No. I want to be here. I _want_ to be with you," Callie practically yells at me, her fingers tightening around mine. "I just don't want to mess it up, you know?"

"You won't mess it up," Dr. Wyatt assures her, looking Callie dead in the eye. "You are here to support your wife, who you clearly love very much. I don't think Arizona or I could ask for anything more. Don't you agree, Arizona?"

I nod my head, smiling at the amazing woman beside me. "Just having you here makes it so much better," I whisper, leaning in to place a soft kiss to Callie's cheek.

"Alright, why don't we get started," Dr. Wyatt says as she opens up her notebook.

"Callie…for now, unless I specifically ask you a question, I would like for you just to listen. Be here…hold Arizona's hand when she needs you to, but don't try and speak for her. Spouses have a tendency to do that…and even though their intentions are good, it often hinders the patient's progress."

"Shut up and listen…got it," Callie says, winking at me playfully. I can't help but smile, still amazed at my wife's ability to put me at ease.

"Arizona…why don't you tell me the reason you are here," Dr. Wyatt says, breaking me from my loving gaze. "What is it that you believe you need help with?"

I suck in a deep breath, all that ease quickly flying right out the window. "Oh boy…well, I suppose I need help dealing with my father's PTSD," I tell her as I look around the room nervously.

"Tell me about that," Dr. Wyatt instructs me, leaning back in her chair to grab a few bottles of water, which she then holds out for Callie and me.

"Thanks," I say with a smile, my hand shaking when I take the bottles of water. I pass one to Callie, her loving eyes giving me the courage to go on with this procedure. "Okay, so you want to know about my dad's trauma, right? Um, well…he is a Colonel. Was…he _was_ a Colonel in the Marines. He's been retired for about four years now." I start fidgeting with the drawstring on my scrubs, twisting the material around my finger until it is almost cutting off circulation. Callie notices and stops me, covering my hand with her own.

"Vietnam. That…that's the war that really affected my father," I tell Dr. Wyatt once I can find my voice again. "He was very young when he went over there…just starting out in the ranks. And they…_I think_ they made him do some very awful things."

"Many soldiers continue to battle the effects of that war. It was a particularly traumatic experience for most of the men and women who served over there, mostly because so many civilians were harmed," Dr. Wyatt says as she begins to jot something down in her notebook. "I'm very sorry to hear that you father is suffering from war-related PTSD. In my years of experience, I've learned that it is one of the hardest forms of stress disorder to cope with."

"Yeah, well…I don't think he is really _coping_ with it," I say, a hint of bitterness in my tone. "He just ignores it, until…until it blows up in everyone's face."

"Is that why you're here tonight, Arizona?" Dr. Wyatt asks, her voice soft and low. I must give her a questioning look without even realizing it, because all at once, Dr. Wyatt sits up a bit straighter. Her eyes lock with mine, almost challenging me to dig deeper…to divulge everything. "We're not here because of your father's PTSD…"

"What?" I shriek defensively as I get off of the couch, suddenly feeling the need to move. "With all due respect, Dr. Wyatt, I think I know why I called you."

"Do you?" she asks, leaning forward to rest her elbows on the desk. Out of the corner of my eye, I see the look of panic on my wife's face, her mouth open as if she wants to say something. When I turn to face her, however, she closes her lips tight and shakes her head back and forth. "The first step in therapy is defining the problem, Arizona."

"My father's PTSD _is_ the problem," I shout, my back now turned from the situation.

"Hmm…interesting," Dr. Wyatt says, luring me into her well planned trap.

"What? What is so interesting about that statement?" I yell, throwing my hands up in the air. "I told you on the phone, Dr. Wyatt…I'm remembering things from my childhood."

"You did say that, Arizona," she says very calmly as she sits back in her chair, her eyes casting a sideways glance at my wife who is biting her lip anxiously. "But there are many, many things you could be referring to here. Childhood accounts for a large portion of our lives. I need specifics. Times, dates, location, other people involved. In order to recover the memories you have repressed, we need a starting point. Your conscious person now, as an adult, needs to come to terms with the subconscious part of your childhood."

I continue to pace the room in frustration, the pain and anger caused by my past erupting from my soul with each mention of it. I know what Dr. Wyatt wants me to tell her. I know I need to get the ball rolling if I want to resolve any of this. But it's so hard. Harder than I ever imagined. And I imagined it to be grueling, excruciating, awful. Once I start talking, my mind will be flooded with the memories I've been trying to shut out for weeks…the memories I have managed to keep buried inside of me for twenty-eight years.

I am brought from my reverie by the sound of Dr. Wyatt's voice, my eyes suddenly focused on the older, red-haired woman before me. "I'm not saying it's going to be easy," she says, her eyes lifting from her notebook to study my face. I'm sure she sees the look of pure panic written across my brow, my eyes narrowed at her in misguided anger.

I take a deep breath when I look into the pool of warm chocolate staring at me, Callie's discomfort forcing me to forget about my own. "Things…things h-happened when my father went through his PTSD, Dr. Wyatt," I choke out, unable to put this off any longer. I sit back down beside my wife, grabbing the hand that is freely offered to me. "Bad things happened. Terrifying, violent things. Things that I would rather forget. Things I guess I've been trying to forget for a long, long time."

I feel a tear trickle down my cheek, my body unable to contain the pain of my past any longer. I lift my hand to wipe it away, but before I can do so, I feel Callie's thumb under my eye. Once again, I look into those big, brown orbs…and once again, I feel safe. I exhale loudly, releasing the anguished breath that's been burdening my lungs.

"Well, now we are getting somewhere," Dr. Wyatt says, shooting me a sympathetic smile as she holds out a box of tissues. I grab a few and stuff them into the pocket of my scrubs, hoping I won't need to bring them out. I want so badly to hold it together…to get through this without falling apart. I know it's irrational and highly unlikely, but that is who I am. I'm a good man in a storm, and I don't do well playing the victim.

Again, the sound of Dr. Wyatt's voice resonates in my ears, bringing me back to the reality I must face. "I'm sorry if that was painful for you, but I needed you to face the truth. Your father is not my patient. _You_ are. It is _your_ PTSD we are here to discuss, Arizona. I need you to acknowledge that before we can move on."

My PTSD? Wait a minute…what is this lady talking about? Then it hits me. Dr. Wyatt is completely right in her assessment. I experienced a trauma when my father went through his PTSD, his behavior and actions affecting my life as a child. And now that trauma is coming back to haunt me as an adult. That trauma is causing psychological distress. The flashbacks, the nightmares, the anxiety…those are all part of the PTSD. _My_ PTSD.

"Arizona…did you hear me?" Dr. Wyatt asks as she abruptly stops writing in her notebook.

Callie's hand in on my shoulder, her eyes filled with unshed tears when I turn to face her. The realization I just went though must be painfully obvious to my wife, her brow furrowed in despair. "Baby…are you okay?" she asks, trepidation in her sweet voice. I nod and offer her a weak smile, wanting her to know that everything will be alright.

I then turn back towards Dr. Wyatt, my head nodding in her direction this time. "Yes. Yes, I heard you. And yes, I understand now that I, too, have Post Traumatic Stress Disorder." Saying those words is far less painful than I anticipated. In fact, I feel a weight lifted off of my chest. "We are here to discuss my PTSD, Dr. Wyatt," I reiterate, my acknowledgement the first step in ridding myself of this terrible disease.

A large smile forms on Dr. Wyatt's face, one item on her list clearly being checked off before she tosses her pen aside. "Excellent. Now that we've addressed the issue at hand, we can begin to work on the healing process. Again, I can't promise you it will be easy…"

"It will be worth it," I say, interrupting her. "I want my life back…the way it was before all of this. I want to give my wife _her_ life back."

"Arizona, I…I have my life," Callie whispers, squeezing my hand until I look into her eyes. "I've had it back since the night you came home."

I reach out and brush her cheek with the back of my hand, the sincerity in her voice filling my heart with so much warmth. "I love you, Calliope," I tell her, blinking back the tears that often form at her words. The subtle smile on Dr. Wyatt's face does not go unnoticed, and I can't help but smile too. "I love my wife, and my children, and _myself_ enough to do this…to do whatever it takes to put this all behind me."

"Great. Dedication and determination go a long way," Dr. Wyatt assures me as she snaps her notebook shut. "Well, ladies…looks like our time is just about up. We've made a lot of progress today, Arizona. And even though we have a long road ahead of us, I promise you that I'll do everything in my power to help you. Trust me."

"I do. I _do_ trust you," I tell her, surprised at how true that statement really is. I never thought I could have faith in a total stranger…trust another doctor with my own life. But I do. There is something so calming and reliable about this woman, and I am thankful she is the therapist we'll be working with. "Thank you, Dr. Wyatt," I say as I stand up, my wife's fingers sliding in between mine as she joins me.

"Same time next week?" Dr. Wyatt inquires as she flips open her planner.

I look to Callie, who nods and smiles, her willingness to drop everything for me so profound. "Yup, we'll see you then," I say, offering Dr. Wyatt my best super magic smile in gratitude for her services.

"Nice meeting you both," I hear her say as Callie and I walk out of the office, each of us returning the sentiment.

"So, where do you want to go for dinner?" my wife asks, her fingers wrapped firmly around mine. "Anywhere you want tonight, baby."

I take a moment to think as we walk to the elevator, only making up my mind once we are alone inside the small room. "Home," I say with no uncertainty as I push the button for the first floor.

The sigh of disappointment that escapes my wife's lips would be unrecognizable to anyone but me, but the sad look in her eyes is a dead giveaway. "Alright, I guess we should call Teddy then and give her a heads up…let her know we're on our way to get the baby."

Callie begins to dig through her purse in search of her cell phone, but I quickly reach my hand out to stop her. "I didn't say I wanted to pick Timothy up just yet," I whisper, leaning in to place a lingering kiss to her cheek. "I just said I wanted to eat dinner at home."

The beautiful smile that forms on Callie's face is enough to make me forget all about dinner, her eyes flirting with mine as we walk back to the house. Our hands remain joined the entire time, neither of us wanting to let go of the other.

It is only when Dorado comes running out of the house that we are forced to break apart, the large and powerful dog barreling in between us. "Alright, alright…we see you," Callie says with a laugh as the dog begins to run circles around her, his tail wagging incessantly.

"Geez, Dorado…you'd think you were married to her," I joke, winking playfully at my wife before following her into the house.

"Why don't you go play with him out in the yard while I straighten up the house a bit?" Callie suggests, knowing I need a few minutes to unwind from the day. I open my mouth to argue, but Callie practically pushes me out of the back door. "Go. I'll order us a pizza."

Instead of trying to argue this time, I smile and lean in for a quick kiss, bright blue reflected in the deep brown I adore. "You're the best," I whisper, rubbing my nose against hers.

"That's cause I have you," Callie replies, stealing one more kiss before patting me on the backside and nudging me towards the door. "Now, go…before I never let you."

"Come on, you big goofball," I call to Dorado, who is right on my heels, his anxiousness to play quite apparent.

Once we get outside, the dog is happy to run around freely. He does his lap around the yard, riling up the chickens when he circles the coop. I walk over and feed them, filling up a basket of fresh eggs. I barely make it out of the coop before Dorado nudges me with his cold nose, desperate for attention. I throw the ball around for him to fetch, and after a few minutes, I find myself running around with him.

The cool, night air feels so good in my lungs and I can't help but smile as I look up at the stars. "Everything is going to be alright," I say to myself, although Dorado seems to be listening intently. He sits down at my feet as I rest my body against the swing set, nuzzling his big head into my side. I just sit there and pet him, his puppy dog eyes staring at me with affection. "You know…you're good therapy too," I tell him, leaning down to kiss the top of his head.

"Pizza's here," Callie calls from the back door, her head popped out into the yard.

I push off the swing set and head towards the house, my four-legged friend right behind me. "Here's your supper, boy," Callie says as she places the bowl of dog food on the mat, gaining a very wet kiss from Dorado before he digs in. "Thanks for that," she chuckles as she wipes the slime off of her face, her beautiful laughter melting my heart.

I wash my hands quickly, then grab two wine glasses and a new bottle of Pinot Noir. "Hmmm?" I gesture towards the wine, gaining a nod and a wide grin in return. I fill both of our glasses, then sit across from my wife to eat. "Mmmm, good pizza," I say after the first bite, my taste buds tingling with hunger. We devour our slices quietly, neither of us knowing what to talk about.

Callie breaks the silence, any awkwardness eliminated the moment she looks into my eyes. "So…I thought the session went well tonight. How about you?"

"Yeah…it was, it was good," I respond truthfully, feeling that much was accomplished. "I like Dr. Wyatt. I'm really glad you recommended her."

"Good. I like her too," Callie says in between sips of wine, a hint of nervousness in her tone. "She seems very knowledgeable on the subject of PTSD…so that's good, right?"

I inhale sharply, contemplating the best way to handle this situation. As much as I want to work out my problems, I don't want it to be the focus of our everyday life. I know Callie just wants to help, but I can think of a million other things I'd like to do with our alone time besides discussing therapy. "Can we…can we not talk about the session tonight?" I ask, my eyes lifting from the table to meet hers.

Without another word, Callie understands. "We don't have to talk about it. In fact, we don't have to talk at all," she whispers seductively as she gets up from the table and makes her way towards me.

Before I know it, her soft lips are one mine, her love coming through in the form of a passionate kiss. "Bedroom," I breathe against her mouth, my hands weaving through her raven locks.

Our hands are joined again as we walk in haste to our private world…a world where our bodies do the talking for us. My wife tastes so good and I devour her lips with a hunger that no amount of pizza could satisfy. "Mmmm…yummy wife," I say as I work my mouth down her neck, dipping my tongue into the swell of her breasts.

Callie giggles, then pulls away slightly, her eyes filled with lust. "You taste good too, baby," she whispers as she begins to untie my scrubs, her fingertips grazing my skin. "And I haven't even gotten to the best part yet," she teases, her hand reaching into my pants to graze a much more sensitive spot.

I close my eyes, my breathing growing more and more ragged with every touch. Callie lifts my shirt up over my head and tosses it aside, knocking over a picture frame on our dresser. "Woops," she giggles as her lips attach to my neck, her hot tongue caressing my skin. She slides the straps of my bra down, her hands covering my breasts the second they are exposed. My eyes roll back in my head as she begins to fondle me, her cool fingers causing my already hard buds to become more erect. A surge of wetness hits my core when Callie replaces her fingers with those full lips and that hot tongue, the sensation nearly causing an orgasm on its own. "Mmmm…delicious," she remarks when she pulls the taut, pink bud from between her teeth. "So, so yummy…but still not exactly what I'm looking for."

The distinctive growl in her voice coupled with the seductive wiggle of her eyebrows lets me know what's in store for me. It isn't more than a few seconds before I feel my knees hitting the mattress, my wife's strong hands pushing me onto the bed. "Someone's really anxious tonight," I tease as I rid myself of my panties and lie back, just an anxious to let her devour me.

"What can I say? I'm always hungry for _you_," Callie says, her beautiful eyes meeting mine for a moment before she works her mouth down the length of my body. My fingers naturally tangle in her hair, the soft locks flowing freely between them.

My body trembles slightly when I feel her mouth makes its assault on my thighs…her favorite place to tease me. "Please. Please, Callie. I, I need…"

Before I can even beg for more, her tongue is running across my clit as two fingers begin to circle my entrance. I close my eyes, my head thrown back against the pillow in ecstasy. "Oh, God. Oh, Calliope…that, that feels so good."

I can feel her smile against my throbbing nub, the familiar upturn of her lips easily recognized by my body. She kisses me tenderly for a moment before her tongue gets back to work, lapping up my juices as they begin to flow around her fingers. The steady, rhythmic pumping of her long, slender fingers makes me feel like a beautiful instrument that only she can play. She makes me feel beautiful every time we make love.

With Callie inside of me, I _am_ beautiful…and safe…and complete. "That was amazing," I whisper as I come down from the incredible high. "You are amazing."

Callie slides her body in close to mine, her arms wrapped around me from behind as she kisses the tender spot behind my ear. "You're pretty amazing yourself," she says, the slight cracking of her voice not going unnoticed. I turn to face her, blue eyes locked with brown, souls forever joined in this journey of life. "I'm so proud of you, Arizona," Callie whispers, causing a lump to form in my throat. But this lump is the good kind…the kind that only happens when you're overwhelmed with love. "I know you don't want to talk about it, but I…I just had to tell you that. I _need_ you to know how brave I think you are."

My eyes begin to sting with emotion, tears only kept at bay when words are replaced with a hard, lingering kiss. "I couldn't do it without you," I tell my wife when we break for air, each of us sucking in a deep breath. I get lost in her eyes for a moment, nothing but blissful silence filling the air. Callie holds me so close, her arms wrapped tightly around my body as it presses against hers. "What time did you tell Teddy we would pick up our little man?" I ask suddenly, causing my wife to panic as she whips her head in the direction of the clock.

"About ten minutes ago," she replies, an involuntary moan escaping my lips when she releases my body and moves to get out of bed.

I flash her a seductive smile and grab her arm, pulling her back down with me. "We're already late…what's a few more minutes?" I ask, my voice dipping down an octave. Callie smiles and rolls her body toward me, her mouth seeking mine. "My turn," I whisper as I begin to undress her, the two of us giggling like school girls.

In just a little while, real life will set in again. We will be mothers, responsible for the care of our beautiful baby boy tonight, and his amazing big sister tomorrow when she is returned to us. We will be doctors, responsible for the lives of patients and the careers of our residents. We will be women with problems, and hardships, and memories to face. But right now, in this moment, we are just lovers…two people sharing their bodies, hearts, and souls in the quiet world of their bedroom. And in this world, everything is right.

**Chapter 12**

_**Callie's POV: **_

I feel like I've been hit by a tornado, my life nothing but a whirlwind since a certain Robbins woman came into it. And _no_, I am _not_ talking about my wife. Arizona hit me like a raging storm a long, long time ago, but she is my constant now- the one thing that grounds me. Our love is my only lifeline…the shelter that keeps us from being torn apart by this violent twister. _Yes, life's a twister all right_. Just when you think you have everything figured out, a storm blows your way. You do whatever you have to do to survive. You protect the ones you love. _You deal with it_. And sometimes, you're still cleaning up the aftermath of that storm when another begins to brew. You can't always be ready for it. Life, like the weather, prefers the element of surprise. All you can do is live...live and _hope_, against all odds, that the sun will be shining when the storm is through.

"Have you heard from him yet?" I overhear my wife ask her mother while nursing our son.

"Mama, I can't find my princess crown," Sophia calls from down the hall, breaking me from my intrusive silence.

"Right here with your backpack," I holler to my little girl nonchalantly, as if I am unaware of their conversation. I pretend not to be listening, going about my daily task of packing Sophia's lunchbox. But out of the corner of my eye, I can see it. I can see the anguish on Arizona's face, her body collapsing against the couch in disappointment when Barbara gives her the same answer she's been given for several days now.

"No, dear. Your father still isn't picking up the phone," my mother in law informs her.

"Did you…?" Arizona begins, her eyes wide as she props Timothy up to burp him.

"Yes, Arizona. I called your uncle…every one of his friends…the Marine base…the League. No one has heard from him," Barbara tells her before she can even ask.

Once again, I glance over at my wife. I see her bright blue eyes shift down to the floor, the smile she's been blessing our baby boy with quickly vanishing. I hear her voice crack this time. "What if he's…?"

"He's _not_," I answer before either one of them can say another word. I've listened to this same conversation nearly every morning for almost a week. I can't take much more.

"Your uncle has been going over to the house everyday, babe…_every_ day. Your mother has called every single hospital in the state. The Marines have people looking out for him."

"Callie's right," Barbara interjects. "I have no idea what kind of state he's in mentally, but I know your father is alive. And we _are_ going to find him. Okay?"

"Okay," my wife says simply, hanging her head again. There is dead silence for a moment, the somber lack of noise making the hair on the back of my neck stand up straight. Here it comes…that unexplainable, eerie feeling you get just before the storm hits. My whole body feels it when I look at Arizona now, the distant look in her eyes haunting me as I step into the living room.

I open my mouth to speak…to tell her it will all be okay, that we're going to go to see Dr. Wyatt tonight, that we're going to get through this.

Just as my emotions are about to erupt, Sophia comes barreling down the hallway on top of Dorado, the brown bag serving as a saddle slipping to the floor with our daughter and her cowboy hat. My jaw drops, and I am about to reprimand her when another noise fills the air. Timothy lets out a loud and rather shocking burp, sending us all into a fit of laughter. And finally, she looks up at me, those baby blues reaching my soul. Her smile lights up the room, dimples only adding to the glow. I breathe a sigh of relief. _It's over_. For now, the storm has passed.

"Good one," our peanut chuckles as she approaches her baby brother, her own dimpled smile illuminating the room. Sophia kneels down in front of her mommy, tickling Timmy's little feet as they kick.

"How many times have we told you, Soph? Dorado is not a pony. You can't ride him," my wife scolds, although her amused grin doesn't quite radiate anger.

"Mama…I wanna pony," Sophia says as she turns her little body towards me. "Please…."

Sophia turns on all the charm, pleading with her big brown eyes as she bounces up and down against my leg. "Okay, okay…we'll discuss this another time," I chuckle as I look down at the little girl who owns my heart. "Right now we need to get you to school. Go brush your teeth, peanut."

"Alright, Mama," she mumbles as she releases my leg and heads down the hallway. "But I still wanna pony."

"Talk to your Abuelo," I whisper under my breath, making sure Sophia cannot hear me.

"Calliope…" Arizona whines, scolding me this time.

"What?" I shriek defensively. "My father said he would buy her a pony. We wouldn't have to keep it in the backyard, you know? They have boarding stables." I crack a smile and Arizona begins to laugh, shaking her head as she passes me our son.

"You are just as bad as that little girl, you know that?" she says as she leans in for a quick kiss. I smile at the two blue-eyed angels before me, peppering the smaller version with tender kisses. Timothy squeals in delight, his chubby cheeks shaking each time my lips touch them. Arizona watches us for a moment and I feel my heart flutter when I see the happiness in her eyes. "I'm gonna go get dressed," she says as she reluctantly backs away from us. We don't want to be late."

Arizona disappears down the hallway, leaving me alone with the one person I try to avoid. "Well, I guess I should go pack up your bottles, huh?" I tell my sweet boy as he nestles into the crook of my neck.

"Already done," Barbara bellows from the living room. "Figured I could help out."

"Thanks," I mutter as I fix myself a fresh cup of coffee, maneuvering the baby like a pro. I sit down at the counter with my steaming cup of caffeine, hoping it will give me the boost I need to get out of the door on this cold, March day. Barbara stays on the couch, but I can feel her watching me, just waiting for me to start a conversation. "So…it's, it's almost Sophia's birthday. Guess we need to start planning her party. I still can't believe she is three already. You weren't kidding when you said time flies once the kids come. Everyday just…"

"You don't have to talk to me if you don't want to," Barbara says, stopping me from continuing. I give her a questioning look, wanting so badly just to keep everything civil…but she sees right through me. "You're pulling an Arizona, Callie. You're rambling…to avoid _really_ talking to me."

I open my mouth to argue, but it's no use. I'm not going to start lying now…keeping things buried inside. That hasn't worked for anyone. "I'm sorry if I seem cold…or distant to you, Barb," I begin, standing up with Timothy to make my way over to her. "I'm trying to forgive you for what happened to my wife. I'm trying to forgive Daniel too.

Because…well, because you are my in laws. And because I love you."

For the first time, I willingly look into Barbara's eyes, wanting her to know I mean my words. "I wish it was easier for me," I say as I place a hand on her knee. "It's just…my whole life got turned upside down. And there's still so much work to be done. The therapy…it's, it's helping. And Arizona says I'll understand. Maybe I will…who knows? But right now, I just can't. So forgive me for being angry…for taking it out on you. It's just…you're here."

"I know," Barbara whispers softly, her hand coming to rest over mine. "I can't imagine how hard all of this has been for you, dear. You have my daughter to look after, and the kids…not to mention your patients, and all the other responsibilities at the hospital. I'm sure it's all been very overwhelming. I understand if you want me to…"

"Want you to what?" Arizona chimes in as she enters the room, her smile indicating she hasn't overheard much.

"Nothing," I say, offering Barbara a small smile of my own. "We were just talking about Sophia's birthday."

"Oooh…yay," Arizona exclaims, making it easy to transition to something happier. "She's getting really excited about it, you know? She wants a purple cake…and lots of balloons…and, and roller skates."

"Roller skates?" I yell, my eyes wide with fear. "Oh, no…you're not actually thinking about getting them are you?"

"Why not?" my wife asks coyly, trying to win me over with her innocent look. "They are perfectly safe once you learn to use them. I'll teach her. I'm a pro."

"Hmmm…again, we'll discuss this later," I mutter, rolling my eyes. "We're going to be late for work."

"Peanut…come on, peanut," Arizona calls as she grabs Timothy's bag and Sophia's backpack. "Time to go."

A little while later, we are all settled in to our normal routine at the hospital. The kids are dropped off at the daycare. Arizona is off to her department meeting. And I am on my way to the OR, about to perform a double knee replacement. As stressful as it all sounds, it's much easier to deal with than the emotional turmoil at home. I'm in a safe place, protected from the impending storm…at least, until therapy tonight.

"Hey…can I scrub in on your knee replacement?" I hear a familiar voice ask as I walk towards the scrub room with my patient chart.

"Hi, Cristina," I say with a laugh, not at all surprised my friend still needs to log hours in something other than Cardio. "I have James on the case with me…but it's a double, so I may need the extra hands. Go up to X-Ray and get the latest scans for me, and you're in."

"Awesome. Thanks, Cal," she says before taking off in the direction of the elevator.

About fifteen minutes later, we are all scrubbed in and I'm about to make the first cut into my patient. "Scalpel," I request, nodding in Cristina's direction. If she is going to log hours in my OR, I am damn well gonna make her do a little work, even if it's just passing me equipment. "Ok, everyone…Dr. Yang here wants to be a cardiothoracic surgeon. She may know everything there is about arteries and ventricles, but she doesn't have the first clue when it comes to bones and joints. Let's walk her through the procedure step by step, alright James?"

I wait a moment for my star resident and research assistant to speak up, but he appears to be distracted by something. "James….hello," I finally snap, desperate to know what is so important that he can't do his job. Then I see him putting my cell phone down. He's been my right hand man for the past few years, so I've entrusted him with my pager and cell during any surgeries we perform together. I know he can keep my personal business to himself, unlike some of the nurses at Seattle Grace. Besides…I find it rather amusing to watch him blush after he reads a particularly _personal_ text from Arizona. The longer I stare at him, however, the more I get the feeling that this isn't that kind of message. "What? What is it?" I ask, swallowing the nervous lump that has suddenly appeared. "Is it my wife?"

James hesitates when my cell phone vibrates against the steel tray again, but I nod for him to go ahead and get it. He takes a moment to read the text, then coughs nervously.

"Ummm, no…it's, it's not your wife," he stammers. "Well, it…it is y-your wife texting you. B-but, b-b-but it's about…"

"Geez…just spit it out already, James," I yell, despite wanting to remain calm. "I'm sorry," I say as I glance around the room, all eyes on me. "Please, just tell me what's going on."

"It's your daughter." My heart immediately drops when I hear James utter those words, a thousand horrible possibilities fluttering through my mind. "Your wife would like you to call her as soon as you get out of surgery."

"Did she say what's wrong?" I inquire, my voice cracking a bit. James shakes his head, indicating she did not. "Can you…can you read me the text messages please?"

James coughs again…a habit I am becoming quite used to seeing when the young man is on edge. Then he looks up at me for a second before scrolling through the phone, his eyes full of sympathy and concern. "Ahem…it, it says _I am on my way to the daycare. Donna called me in a panic, something's wrong with our peanut._" James pauses for a moment, giving me a minute to take in the information. I stare blankly ahead, trying to wrap my mind around the numerous reasons Donna could have called my wife. "Dr. Torres…" James calls, breaking me from my trance. I put down the scalpel, locking eyes with my good friend, Dr. Yang, before turning back towards James. He scrolls through the phone again, obviously searching for the next message. "Then she- your, your wife says _Where are you? I know I'm a pediatric surgeon, but I don't know what to do. I need you. Please call me as soon as you can._ That's it," James says, placing the cell phone back onto the tray.

"Page Dr. Smith and ask him to get down here," I tell James as I turn around and hold my hand out for the scalpel again. Cristina gives it to me, a bit unwillingly, her eyes asking if I am able to go through with this. "Dr. Yang, pay attention to the first cut. It will determine how the rest of this procedure goes. When making an incision around cartilage, you must be very precise. If we're off by even an inch, the artificial knee will not fit properly."

No one else says a word as I begin the Arthroplasty…another room filled with an eerie silence. A new storm is brewing. I can feel it. And this one centers around Sophia…our little miracle. We've been blessed since the day she was born. She survived the impossible, thriving against all odds. From the day we brought her home from the NICU, she has been healthy. She's never been sick or gotten injured, save a few sniffles or the bite she received last year in the daycare. She's perfect. And I'm terrified to find out just what is wrong with my sweet angel. It takes all of my willpower to concentrate as I cut back my patient's skin, revealing the damaged kneecap that is preventing him from doing all of the things he loves.

"Dr. Torres…you paged?" a familiar voice asks, filling me with a sense of relief.

"Yes…yes, I did. Thank you for coming, Dr. Smith," I mutter as I stare blankly into the pool of blood and mangled cartilage below me. "I have a family emergency and I need you to take over. We're doing a double replacement on Mr. Wilton here. He's been under for about twenty-two minutes, and I've just made the first cut to expose the joint."

"Go ahead. I've got it from here," Dr. Smith assures me, resting a hand on my shoulder.

"Thank you," I say, looking first to Dr. Smith and then to James. "I'll talk to you later, Dr. Yang," I whisper to Cristina as I walk towards the door, throwing my mask and gloves in the disposal bin as I go.

I waste not a minute in getting scrubbed out, running full force towards the elevator once I am done. "Hold it!" I yell when I see the doors about to close. One of the Peds nurses stops the elevator, positioning her arm between the doors until I get there. "Thanks," I breathe, my voice laden with panic.

"Didn't see your wife this morning," the nurse says once I am inside the small room with her and a few other nurses. "Did Dr. Robbins have the day off?"

"Um…we um…she…" my voice trails off just as the elevator doors open up in front of the daycare. The nurses just stare at me, a few of them giggling when I high tail it out of there.

After quickly swiping my access card, I enter the daycare, pushing past the cleaning staff to get to Sophia's classroom. Donna sees me coming and opens the door, pulling me into the back of the classroom with her. "It all happened so fast," Donna says, her voice thick with emotion. "One minute she was having snack and the next…"

Then I hear it, the violent sound of illness as my baby empties her stomach. I gently push open the door to the preschool bathroom to find my wife kneeling down beside our peanut. Sophia's little face is flushed, sweat drenching her dark curls as she continues to vomit. "That's it, baby. Get it all out," Arizona says, only taking her focus off of our daughter when I run my hand down her back lovingly. "Hey…"

"Hey," I repeat, kneeling down beside my girls.

"Hi, Mama," Sophia coughs out just as another round begins. She looks so exhausted, her little body curled up against the toilet bowl. "I gotta tummy ache, Mama," she tells me when she is through getting sick, her weary voice and big, brown eyes breaking my heart.

"I see that, baby," I whisper as I pull her hair away from her face, pressing my cool palm against her cheek. Sophia collapses in my arms, forcing me to sit back against the door so I can cradle her head. "That's my girl. Yes…you just take a little rest, sweetheart," I whisper as I continue to stroke her bright red cheeks. "She's burning up," I whisper, my own dark eyes mirrored in the sad blue ones before me. "How long has she had a fever?"

"I, I-I don't know," Arizona replies, her eyes beginning to gloss over.

"Over an hour now," another female voice resonates, causing Arizona and I to turn our heads. Donna is standing in the bathroom doorway, obviously concerned about our girl. "Like I said, she was fine until about halfway through snack. Then she just started whining….playing with her food a bit, not really eating. It wasn't long before she started getting sick. Poor little thing…"

Just then, the phone to the preschool classroom rings and Donna disappears from sight, leaving my wife and I alone with our terribly sick daughter. "I-I think she has the flu, Callie," Arizona stammers. "But I-I, I'm not sure. I just…I can't think like a doctor right now. When I got here she was so sick. She looked so pale and, a-and her little body was shaking. I kind of panicked. Actually, I'm still kind of panicking."

"It's okay," I whisper, reaching a hand out to touch her arm. "I understand why you were so worried. I was worried too. And she _is _really sick…really, really sick. But she is going to be alright, Arizona."

My wife still doesn't look convinced, the fear in her threatening to spill out in the form of a nervous ramble. She opens her mouth to get started…to rattle off a list of things that could potentially cause our daughter irreparable harm, but I stop her before she even gets going. "Uhh ughh…don't. Don't go there, Arizona," I say in all seriousness, raising my eyebrows at her. "Say it with me…"

"Sophia is going to be okay," we say in unison, each of us cracking a small smile afterwards.

"We do have to keep a close eye on her though, Cal," Arizona mumbles as she comes to sit beside me, her hands following my path on our peanut's back. "She could get dehydrated, you know?"

"I know," I whisper, locking eyes with my wife. "That's why we're going to take her up to Peds and get her set up in a room. Get some IV fluids into her, maybe some Motrin…have someone check her vitals."

"Maybe _you_ should have been a pediatrician," Arizona says, looking a bit embarrassed. "You're doing a better job at it then I am right now."

"That's just because you're too busy being a mom…the most amazing mom the world has ever seen," I tell her, meaning every word. Now my wife's cheeks are really flushed, the compliment going right where it was intended…her heart. "She's your baby, Arizona. And you're scared…"

"And you're not? No, of course you're not…because she just has the flu or, or a stomach bug," she says, again looking ashamed for her overreaction. "Gosh, I must really have freaked you out with those texts."

"Yeah…ya did. Which is why I'm not feeling the way you do, babe," I say, lowering my voice when Sophia begins to stir. "I thought something really horrible happened to her, you know? So I guess a little puke and a fever doesn't seem like such a big deal to me."

"I'm so sorry, Calliope," Arizona whispers, staring straight into my eyes.

Those baby blues melt my heart every time, and all I can do is smile. "It's okay," I tell her as I hold my hand out, needing some help up off of the floor. Arizona stands and grabs my arms, slowly pulling me up. Sophia wakes up, lifting her head off of my shoulder for a minute before it collapses back down. "Shhh, peanut. You're gonna be alright. Mommy and I are going to get you a really awesome room here, and our friends are gonna take such good care of you."

"I be da patient this time?" she asks, her voice raspy from getting sick for so long. "Mommy gonna be my doctor?"

"No, Soph…I can't be your doctor," Arizona tells her. "That's against the rules. Today, I just get to be the mommy. But Alex…maybe Alex can be your doctor. Would you like that?"

"Yeah…I want Alex," Sophia breathes out with a yawn before her head hits my shoulder again.

"Okay, baby. Mommy will page him right away," Arizona promises as she gathers Sophia's tiny hand in her own. "We're gonna make sure you get better real soon…don't you worry."

"That's right. So don't _you_ worry either, Mommy," I whisper in my wife's ear. Arizona nods and inhales sharply, willing herself to stay calm. As heartbreaking as it is to see her so worried, it's also ridiculously adorable and heartwarming. My wife really is the most amazing mother.

About an hour later, Sophia is sound asleep again in her hospital room. Alex gave her a full workup, mostly to make Arizona feel better, and has started her on an IV of fluids and five milligrams of Motrin. "Alright…so, all of her blood work came back normal. No signs of Campylobacteriosis, or any other food borne infection. Her blood sugar is on the low side, probably because she doesn't have anything left in her system. So when she wakes up, you should try and get her to drink some orange juice or eat an ice pop. I wouldn't recommend any solids yet because she'll probably just barf them up again."

"Nice, Karev," I say, rolling my eyes at Arizona's "prodigy."

"What?" he scoffs as he takes Sophia's temp again. "Your kid has the flu, Torres. If you can't even handle the word barf, maybe you should just go home now…leave this to the pediatricians."

"Shut up, Alex," Arizona says, nudging him with her elbow. The three of us laugh, lightening the mood a bit.

"Seriously, guys…she's gonna be fine," Alex assures us as he glances over at our little patient. "Her fever has gone down considerably already. She's getting fluids, so there's no risk of dehydration. And she has _me_ for a doctor…what could be better, right? I mean, I learned from the best."

I walk around to the other side of Sophia's bed and grab my wife's hand, weaving my fingers through hers. "Yes, you did."

Arizona smiles, her dimples making a brief appearance before that look of panic returns to her face. "Shit. Shit, Cal…we're late for therapy," she announces, causing my head to whip in the direction of the clock. "Guess I had better call and let Dr. Wyatt know we won't be coming."

She reaches into her lab coat and grabs her cell phone, anxious to make the call. "Wait…wait a minute, Arizona," I whisper as I place my hand over the phone. "Do you really think it's a good idea to miss the session. I mean, we've only just started and…"

"And what? We can't just leave her here all alone," Arizona tells me, her voice cracking with emotion.

"She won't be alone," a familiar voice bellows from behind, causing us both to turn in its direction. "Sorry I couldn't be here sooner," Mark says as he enters the room and immediately begins looking over Sophia's chart. "Yup…looks like Karev was right. Our munchkin has the flu. But don't worry, Blondie…she'll be better in a few days."

Arizona just rolls her eyes at him, then takes a seat at the edge of Sophia's bed. "She _will_ be just fine in a few days. And she _will _be just fine with her father right now," I remind my wife. "Please, Arizona…we don't want to keep Dr. Wyatt waiting any longer."

"You page us if anything happens, you hear me?" Arizona practically yells at Mark, poking him in the chest with her finger. "I mean _anything_, Mark. If she vomits again…or, or if she spikes another fever…or just wakes up and asks for us. Anything."

"Got it, Blondie. Anything," Mark repeats, shooting me a sympathetic grin. "I'm not going anywhere."

"Thanks, Mark," I whisper as I follow my wife out of the room. "We'll be back in about an hour."

As we make our way down to the elevator, we see a crowd of people standing around the television in the waiting room. Doctors, nurses, and visitors are all trying to hear what the news anchor is saying. "Turn it up," an older gentleman in the back of the group hollers.

Someone close to the T.V. adjusts the volume just as Arizona and I reach the waiting room, and what we hear causes us to stop dead in our tracks.

"An infant born at Seattle Grace Hospital has been reported missing," the news anchor announces, sending a chill down my spine. I look over at my wife, whose jaw is completely dropped, and the panic rises once again. "The baby- an eight week old Caucasian male, appears to have been taken from his home in Auburn early this morning. Friends and relatives of the family have been contacted, and no one appears to have any knowledge as to his whereabouts. Seattle police are working with the Auburn task force to form a search and rescue team. The infant is fair skinned, with light blue eyes and dirty blonde hair. He has a strawberry birthmark on the back of his neck. If you have any information on the whereabouts of this child, please contact the Auburn police department."

"Oh my God," I choke out, tears burning the back of my eyes. "That poor family. I just can't imagine…not knowing where your child is, not knowing if you'll ever see them again. We…we need to call Teddy. I need to know our baby boy is safe and sound."

"Callie…" Arizona pleads as she squeezes my hand tight. "Our son is perfectly fine. He was happy and healthy when we checked on him this afternoon, and I'm sure…"

"No," I scream, cutting her off. "No. You got to freak out about Sophia. I let you have your moment of panic. Now you let me have mine. Call her, Arizona," I demand, wiping the tear that is about to trickle down my cheek.

"Alright, baby. It's alright," Arizona says, her voice trying to soothe me. "I'll call Teddy right now, so we can hear our little man. After watching that on the news, there's nothing else I'd rather hear than the sweet sounds of our happy baby."

I swallow the lump in my throat, taking in a deep breath as I do. Arizona places a tender kiss to my cheek before pulling out her cell phone to check on our son, her eyes never once leaving mine as she does. Within a moment, I can hear our little surprise cooing and giggling in the background as Teddy talks about all the adorable things he's been doing. I feel a sense of relief wash over me, knowing now that he really is safe. He is safe and sound with his godmother, just as Sophia is safe and sound with her father. Our children…the most important things in our lives, are okay. No one is missing or seriously injured. They're fine. Everything is going to be just fine. At least that's what I keep telling myself.

But as we walk into Dr. Wyatt's office, that same eerie feeling takes over me. I'm not sure what exactly this storm is conjuring up, but that dreadful feeling in the pit of my stomach tells me it's not going to be easy to weather. I have no idea what's in store for me…we can never _really_ know. I look over at my ray of sunshine…my calm before and after every storm. She offers me a smile, her brilliant blue eyes sparkling like the sky on a perfectly clear day. And so I just jump right into the middle of it all, being pulled back into the tornado of life.

**Chapter 13**

_**Arizona's POV:**_

Today has been one hell of a day. My father is still missing…my daughter is in the hospital with the flu…and now, a baby born in our own hospital has been stolen from his family. It feels like just when things were starting to get better, everything is about to fall apart again. And there is nothing I can do about any of it. Sure, I can keep pestering my mother about the search for my dad. I can drive every nurse and Peds doctor in this hospital crazy by being an overreacting, overprotective mother. I can check on my son, like my wife wanted me to, so we can feel the relief another family is so desperately seeking. I can do all of those things, but the outcome of each situation will remain the same. My dad will be found…when he wants to be, or when his mental state is so far gone that he doesn't even try to hide anymore. Sophia will recover at her body's own pace, whether she has one doctor or fifty looking after her. And the little boy who is missing will be found…or he _won't_. And I, Arizona Robbins-Torres, cannot really do a damn thing to alter any of those outcomes. But what I can alter…what I can actively try and change, I am more than willing to do today. Somehow, dealing with my PTSD seems the lesser of all evils. So I sit here in therapy, holding Callie's hand, for the first time unafraid to face my past.

"I'm so, so sorry we're so late," I tell Dr. Wyatt, too ashamed to look in her eyes. This is only my second session and we've missed twenty minutes already.

"That's alright, Arizona," she says, gesturing for Callie and I to take our seats. "Things happen. And from what I can tell, you weren't running behind schedule because you lost track of time in the cafeteria."

"Our daughter is in the hospital. She has the flu and is very, very sick," Callie explains, only breaking eye contact with Dr. Wyatt when she realizes what she just said. Turning to me in a panic, she makes an attempt to correct her former statement. "Um, what I meant is…she's, sh-she's sick _now_. But, b-b-but she'll be just fine in no time. Everyone is looking after her and…"

"Calliope…stop. It's okay," I whisper, taking her hands in mine. "You don't have to walk on eggshells around me. I'm alright now. I've calmed down. And I know our peanut is going to get better. It's just the flu." Callie exhales loudly, her sigh matching the look of relief on her face.

"Looks like you two have had quite the day," Dr. Wyatt chimes in, causing me to look away from the big, brown eyes that are staring into my soul. "Why don't we make this session a little easier then. Give you a bit of a break."

"Easier? Easier how?" I ask, cringing a little internally. Nothing about therapy is supposed to be _easy_, is it?

"Normally, I only do this in couples therapy, but I think I'll make an exception here. What I would like to do is an exercise that will give me some insight into your relationship," Dr. Wyatt begins to explain.

Out of the corner of my eye, I see Callie's hand go up. She looks like a little girl, wanting permission to speak in class, a hint of nervousness in her demeanor. Her brow is furrowed and she is biting that plump, juicy bottom lip that I love so much. She looks positively adorable.

"Yes, Dr. Torres," the older woman before us says, a hint of laughter in her tone. "It's okay to ask questions, you know?"

Callie clears her throat, sitting up a bit straighter on the couch. "I um…I was just wondering why you wanted to do this exercise with _us_? I mean, you said it yourself…this isn't couples therapy. And I-I, I don't think our relationship is in jeopardy. Arizona and I are good. We're…we're better than good."

That last statement came out a bit defensively, and it is obvious that Dr. Wyatt took note of my wife's sensitivity on the subject. "I never said your relationship was in jeopardy, Callie," Dr. Wyatt says calmly, offering us a smile. "In fact, it appears the two of you have a very strong, solid marriage."

"Why do you want to do the exercise then?" I question, feeling a tad confused myself.

"Let me try and explain briefly," Dr. Wyatt says as she backs up from her desk, moving over to the table where she keeps the beverages. "Coffee?" she offers as she fixes herself a cup. Callie and I both shake our heads, neither of us really needing any more caffeine. "Alright…so when couples come to me with their issues, the first thing I ask is if they want the relationship to survive," she tells us. "Most of the time, the answer is yes. That's why they're coming to me…to fix things. Now, you two don't appear to need any fixing."

I catch my wife smiling at that comment, her gorgeous eyes lighting up as she glances over at me. "I'm still confused, Dr. Wyatt," Callie chuckles, squeezing the hand within her own. "How is this exercise going to benefit us if we don't need help as a couple?"

"You're right. You don't need help as a couple. But you do need help individually. At least, one of you does," the older doctor reminds us, her eyes coming to meet mine. "Arizona is seeking help because of something that happened in her past. Something that I imagines makes her feel weak…guilty…ashamed. "

"But it's not her fault," Callie pipes up, her voice cracking. "None of it was her fault." I feel a lump beginning to form in my throat, the truth behind Dr. Wyatt's words hitting me almost as hard as the love and compassion in my wife's eyes.

"That doesn't mean your wife isn't experiencing those feelings," Dr. Wyatt says as she sits back down behind her desk. "That's where this exercise may come in handy. What I'd like to do is go through a list of questions, some pertaining to your relationship and some based solely on self-reflection. I think you'll find it very interesting to see the difference in responses between the two. Are we up for this, ladies?"

"Sure," I tell her, nodding in Callie's direction. I must admit, I am a bit interested to see where Dr. Wyatt is going with this exercise. Besides, it will take the focus off of my PTSD…at least a little, I hope.

"Alright, let me just find my list here," Dr. Wyatt mumbles as she thumbs through one of her many files. "Aha…here it is. Okay, let's do an easy one first. Are you in love with your partner?"

"Yes," Callie and I answer in unison, a world of emotion passing between our eyes. "That was kind of a no-brainer, Dr. Wyatt," I say with a laugh, causing her to smile. "Come on…what else have you got for us?"

"Alright. This one is for you, Callie," Dr. Wyatt says as she tilts her head in my wife's direction. "Give me one word that describes your wife, the way you see her."

Callie barely has time to take a breath before her mouth opens, her eyes once again staring deep into mine. "Amazing."

"Amazing," Dr. Wyatt repeats. "Well, that's quite a word. Care to elaborate?"

"Absolutely," Callie replies, without hesitation. "My wife is many things, Dr. Wyatt. She's smart, and kind, and beautiful. But it's the combination…all the little things that make her so amazing. She's an amazing doctor…an amazing wife…and most of all, an amazing mother. I love everything about her…and to me, that's the most amazing thing in the world. I never thought I'd find that, you know?"

"It's hard to come by," Dr. Wyatt states simply, another smile threatening to take over the serious expression she usually wears. "Now, Arizona…why don't you answer the same question? Give me one word that describes your wife."

For me, the answer does not come so easily. There are a million words that pass through my head as I look beside me. Callie is gorgeous…a goddess in my eyes. She's warm and caring…has a heart of gold. She's also incredibly intelligent, a badass surgeon, and a fine doctor.

"She's…she's perfect," I finally choke out, looking up into a pool of dark chocolate. Dr. Wyatt looks as if she's going to say something, but I jump in before she even has a chance to get a word out. "To me…she's, she's perfect _to me_. She's perfect _for_ me. She gives me everything I need all the time, even when it's not very easy." This last part is whispered softly, my fingers wrapped tightly around Callie's. I want her to know how much it means to me that she is here, and how much I love her for it.

"I am far from perfect, Arizona," Callie says, blinking back a few tears. "But I can tell you this. As long as I have you, I _feel_ perfect. So please, don't thank me for being here. There's no place I'd rather be, and no one on earth I'd rather be with."

Callie leans in and presses her forehead against mine, bright blue reflected in that same unwavering, rich chocolate I've come to depend on. We take a moment to just breathe one another in, noses rubbing as lips yearn to make contact.

I am just about to kiss my wife when Dr. Wyatt lets out a subtle cough, reminding us that we're not alone. "Sorry," I whisper as I reluctantly move back to my previous position on the couch.

Dr. Wyatt shakes her head, indicating there's no reason to apologize. "This was my idea, now wasn't it? Can't blame you ladies for getting a bit sentimental. It's a nice change of pace for me, actually."

"Why is that?" Callie asks sarcastically, her eyes shifting between mine and Dr. Wyatt's.

"You mean, most couples don't act like this?"

"Not the ones coming to see _me_, dear," the older doctor informs us. "You wouldn't believe some of the answers I've gotten to that very same question." Callie and I just continue to smile, our fingers linked between us on the leather sofa. "Okay…now that we've all had a moment to feel good, let's move on to some of the other questions. I suppose I don't need to ask how your sex life is…"

Callie and I both begin to giggle, love and lust mirrored in our eyes. "Amazing…perfect," we announce at almost the exact same time, causing us to laugh even harder. "No, really…it's great. Definitely no problems there," I tell Dr. Wyatt, feeling the blush rise in my cheeks.

"Good. A healthy sex life is essential to any long lasting, committed relationship," Dr. Wyatt says as she begins to write in her notebook again. "Although sex is typically defined as a physical connection, the intimacy shared during the act is incomparable to anything else. As long as the two of you continue to communicate verbally as well, the love and pleasure you obtain from intercourse can only strengthen your relationship."

"Maybe we should have _more_ sex," Callie whispers in my ear, causing me to nearly choke on my water. Dr. Wyatt is too busy scanning that list of questions in her file to notice, so I decide to tease my wife a bit by running my hand down her back until I reach the waistband of her jeans. I slide my hand in just above the pocket and lightly knead the tender flesh. Callie inhales sharply, her wide eyes reprimanding me. "I didn't mean right now," she mumbles, reaching around to remove my hand just as Dr. Wyatt turns her attention back on us.

"So, we've established that each of you feel your marriage and your sex life are stable," Dr. Wyatt announces suddenly, causing Callie and I to straighten up in our seats. "That's good, but…"

"But what?" Callie says, shrugging her shoulders. "I thought you weren't questioning our relationship, Dr. Wyatt."

"I'm not," she responds, pushing back the strands of red hair falling in her face. "I'm not questioning the two of you _together_ at all." Callie narrows her eyes at Dr. Wyatt, then shoots me a questioning look. "It's part of the exercise. Please, just trust me," Dr. Wyatt pleads.

I nod as I take my wife's hand once more, squeezing it to let her know it's okay. "Go ahead, Dr. Wyatt," I say, sounding much more confident than I feel.

Dr. Wyatt mouths a silent _thank you_ in my direction when Callie gets up to fill our water glasses, her sympathetic eyes telling me this next part isn't going to be as easy. "Just a few moments ago, I asked you to come up with a word that described your partner…which you did quite easily, I might add. You had no trouble whatsoever discussing your feelings for one another, or the importance of your relationship. But no matter how close the two of you are…no matter how invested you may be in each other's lives- you are still, and always will be, individuals."

Quite ironically, I find myself raising my own hand now, desperate to interject before the woman can go any further. "Um…excuse me, but I think we are well aware of that fact," I blurt out, trying hard not to sound condescending.

"Are you?" Dr. Wyatt asks, eyebrows raised with a hint of arrogance. "Because you don't appear very comfortable with being an individual, Arizona. In fact, I imagine that aside from your careers, which are still embedded in the _same_ hospital, the two of you don't experience very much separately. You share your work space…your home…your children. You share everything, which…"

"Which is supposed to happen in a marriage, isn't it?" Callie interjects, raising her voice a bit in frustration.

"To some extent…yes," Dr. Wyatt replies, remaining cool and collected. "But if the line between your partnership and your individuality becomes too blurred then…"

"Then one of us might not know how to cope with anything on our own," I say, finishing Dr. Wyatt's sentence. Now I see the point of this exercise all too clearly. I glance over at my wife and see a world of hurt in her beautiful, brown eyes.

"As much as you depend on your wife and you think you _need_ her to be here…_you don't_," Dr. Wyatt tells me. "Before you met Callie, how would you characterize yourself, Arizona?"

"Strong-willed…independent…fearless," I whisper, looking down at the floor. "But I…I put up walls back then. I-I didn't allow myself to get hurt, or feel too much, or _love_…not the way I love now. And Callie changed all that. She broke down those walls. She showed me that I didn't have to bail when things got rough…that she would always be there."

"But you're still bailing on _yourself_, Arizona," Dr. Wyatt says, ducking her head down until she catches my eyes. "That's how we got into this predicament, isn't it? You couldn't handle the PTSD, so you shut down. You abandoned Callie and your children because you weren't able to work through the problem on your own."

"That's enough," Callie yells, wrapping her arm around me protectively. "You're a doctor. You're supposed to be helping my wife, not chastising her for the mistakes she's made." I still can't look up at my wife, shame and guilt clouding my mind. But I let her hold me. I let her love me and protect me, even if Dr. Wyatt thinks I shouldn't. Right or wrong, I _need _Calliope right now.

"I'm not trying to chastise Arizona, Callie," Dr. Wyatt says, leaning forward on her elbows. "I just need her to understand that therapy will not be successful if she doesn't face the problem as an individual. You're still afraid to deal with the PTSD on your own, aren't you Arizona? That's why your wife is here, isn't it?"

I just stare ahead blankly, my eyes starting to well with tears. "Shut up," Callie screams as she pulls me into her arms, holding me tightly against her body. I can feel my hands starting to shake, the magnitude of the situation crashing down on my body and soul like an unexpected meteor.

"How do you see yourself now, Arizona?" Dr. Wyatt asks, completely ignoring my wife. "How does your PTSD make you feel?"

"You don't have to answer her, baby," Callie whispers, her lips pressed up against my temple. "I'm here. I'm here. And you don't have to do anything you don't want to."

Suddenly, it all clicks. Dr. Wyatt is right. I've been using Callie like a shield, allowing our relationship to deflect the problems I've been hiding from my whole life. It's not her fault. She's just trying to take care of me…to give me what I need. But what I really need is to face _my_ problem…deal with _my_ PTSD…let _my _therapist do her job. If I want to have Callie by my side, I need to separate myself from her. I need to be my own person if I want to get through all of this.

I suck in a deep breath, finally shifting my gaze up from the floor to meet Dr. Wyatt's eyes. "I feel like a coward…"

"Arizona…" Callie whines, turning to face me. I still can't look into those eyes. I need to do this…_on my own. _

"I feel ashamed of my behavior, even though my wife has forgiven me. As a mother and a wife, I feel…_inadequate_."

"How can you say that?" Callie whispers, her voice cracking. "You're an amazing mother. Those babies love you more than anything in the world, and so do I. Don't tell me you're inadequate, Arizona. I'm in this relationship with you and I think…"

"I know what you think, Cal," I yell, cutting her off. The expression on my wife's face breaks my heart, sadness and confusion filling her eyes. I take a deep breath and turn towards her, grabbing her hands and pulling them up to my lips. I place a tender kiss over her knuckles before I begin to speak, wanting to apologize for my sudden outburst. "I know you think that I'm just fine the way I am…that I'm more than enough for you and the kids. And that may be true. But I know how I _feel_. And I don't feel the way I did before all of this happened. I need help. You know I do. That's why we're here. So we have to let Dr. Wyatt help me, no matter how much it hurts. Okay?"

Callie inhales sharply, her clammy hands fidgeting with my wedding ring as she processes everything that just came out of my mouth. After a moment of painful silence, she looks up…not at me, but at Dr. Wyatt. "I'm sorry," my wife whispers, her cheeks flushed with embarrassment. "I didn't mean to get so worked up. It's just…"

"Arizona is your wife and you love her," Dr. Wyatt chimes in, completely aware of what Callie was going to say. "I understand, Callie. And it's alright. You're allowed to get emotional here…cry, scream, get angry. Just don't give up. Therapy is a long process…_not_ a quick fix."

"I know that. I just…I just didn't expect it to be so hard," Callie stammers, turning to face me again. "I want this to work, Arizona. I want you to get the help you need so that you _feel _as amazing as I think you are."

"I love you," I breathe in my wife's ear as I hug her tight, thankful for her unending support.

"Te amo, querida," Callie whispers with such affection my heart nearly bursts.

"Well, I am glad we were able to end on a good note," Dr. Wyatt says when the timer on her desk clock goes off, indicating the session is up. "I know it may not feel like it, but we _have_ made some serious progress today."

I nod in agreement, holding Callie's hand tight as we make our way out of the office. "Thank you, Dr. Wyatt. See you next week."

"Goodnight, ladies. I hope your little girl gets well very soon," she hollers right before we round the corner towards the elevator.

"Thank you," Callie yells back, offering the older woman a smile. "She'll be just fine in no time," my wife assures me as we step into the elevator, not wasting a minute in getting back to our peanut.

"I know she will. She's got _you _to take care of her," I say, blue once again reflected in brown as I stare at the beautiful woman I am lucky enough to call my wife.

Callie weaves her fingers through mine as we make our way to Sophia's room, our long and grueling day far from over. We'll have to get Sophia discharged and get her home to rest. One of us will have to pick up Timothy from Teddy's. Chicken broth, ice pops, pedialyte, and motrin will need to be procured. Sleep will neither come easy, nor last long.

But everything will be okay. We'll make it through this awful day and every other one that challenges us. We'll fight the battle, weather the storm, and come out on top. We always do. Because we have faith, and hope, and love. And most importantly, because we have each other.


	4. Chapter 14: NEW CHAPTER!

**Chapter 14**

_**Callie's POV:**_

Today feels like the day that just won't end, the impending storm leaving my wife and I on edge. Clouds have been looming over our sky since this morning, and the air is filled with a restlessness conjured up by heavy wind and rain. The tornado is forming…I can feel it. The uneasy feeling in the pit of my stomach just won't go away, no matter how hard I try and convince myself that everything's okay. Sophia just has the flu…she'll be back to her old self in a couple of days. Timothy is safe with his godmother, unlike the little boy who is missing- the little boy I keep praying for. And therapy is over…no more quizzes or strangers questioning my life and my love for the woman I married. This day will come to an end soon. It's got to.

By the time we got Sophia discharged and actually left the hospital, it was almost nine o'clock. Arizona ran over to Teddy's to pick up the baby while I sat and filled out the copious amounts of paper worked required to let me take my own child home. I thanked Alex and the nurses one last time before making my way out to the visitor parking lot, where Arizona was waiting with the car.

"You ready to go home, peanut," my wife whispers to our groggy little girl, running her fingers through Sophia's curls as she straps her into her car seat.

"Yeah, Mommy…I ready," she replies, stifling a yawn. "I wanna see Rado…and, a-and get my pink blankey…and sleep in my big girl bed with you."

"Mommy's got to feed your brother when we get home, Soph," I begrudgingly tell our daughter, knowing Arizona is the one she wants right now. "How about Mama lays with you for a while…just until Mommy is done with Timmy?"

"Nooooo…I want my Mommy," Sophia cries, burying her head into Arizona's shoulder as she carries her into the house.

I can see the anguish in my wife's eyes when she looks over her shoulder at me, baby blues glancing back and forth between our sick peanut and our very hungry little man. "Maybe you could snuggle with Mama for just a little bit while I get Timothy ready for bed. I bet she'll even let you lay in our bed and watch a movie," she whispers in Sophia's ear, trying desperately to entice her.

"Mama…I watch Princess and da Froggy in your bed?" Sophia calls from her bedroom as Arizona begins to get her undressed. "Pleeeeeaaassseee."

"Anything you want, baby girl," I holler back, smiling as I remove Timothy from his infant carrier. "Looks like you are the only one who'll be sleeping good tonight, my angel," I tell my beautiful baby, nuzzling his soft cheek with my nose. Timothy squeals in delight, his little legs kicking as I hold him up in the air. "Hello, pumpkin. Hello. Mama missed you today," I whisper, gaining another squeal and a smile. Those dimples are beginning to show…and boy, am I in trouble.

I am so lost in love with my little man that I never see Arizona coming up behind us, her hand on my back nearly causing me to jump. "Sorry…sorry, babe. Wasn't trying to sneak up on you. Just thought I would get this guy fed so I can get back to Sophia," she says, resting her chin on my shoulder to smile at our son. "Hey there, buddy. You ready for some supper?"

I pepper the baby's face with kisses one more time before passing him back to my wife, that delightful squeal playing in the air as she carries him off to the nursery. Maybe today isn't really that bad after all. Maybe the storm will pass.

Sophia is all tucked in, watching her video, when I enter the bedroom. "How ya feeling, sweetie?" I ask as I lean against the mattress, placing my lips to her forehead. "You don't seem to have a fever anymore. That's good."

"My belly is better, Mama. But I still feel a little yucky," Sophia says as she wraps her arm around mine. "You gonna watch the Froggy Princess with me?"

"Sure thing, Soph," I say with a laugh, relieved that she's feeling well enough to stay up for her movie. "Mama just wants to get undressed first, okay?"

Sophia nods as she watches Tiana dance around, her little face lighting up as she sings along to the music. "Hurry up, Mama…this is da best part," she yells, her eyes searching for me in the bathroom.

I brush my teeth and throw on a pair of sweat pants and a long sleeved tee, wanting nothing more than to feel comfortable. But no matter how comfy my clothes are, that feeling is still there…that dreadful, ominous feeling I haven't been able to shake all day. Maybe I'm just tired. My mind is playing tricks on me. _Everything's okay_, I tell myself as I climb into bed and pull Sophia into my arms. _Everything's okay._

It isn't long before Arizona comes walking in with Timothy sound asleep in her arms, the bags in her eyes unusually heavy this evening. "Are you feeling okay?" I ask, opening my arms for the baby.

"Yeah. Yeah…I think I'm just tired," she replies. "I'm gonna take a quick shower and go to bed. I've already let the Chief know that I won't be in tomorrow."

"Oh, good. I was gonna see about taking the day off, but I have that seminar in the morning. Besides, she just wants you anyway," I say as I tuck Sophia's ratty old bunny under her arm.

"Oh, Callie…" Arizona whines, looking down at Sophia with sad eyes. "I was so worried about her."

"I know, babe," I whisper, reaching over to grab my wife's hand. "But look…she's fast asleep, no more fever or puking. She's good."

Arizona releases a heavy sigh, nodding in agreement as she looks over our peanut one more time. "Okay. Shower…then bed," she mumbles as she makes her way into the bathroom, leaving a trail of scrubs as she goes.

"You know, if we weren't both totally drained…" I say, winking at my wife playfully.

Arizona laughs her sweet laugh, dimples coming through with the warm smile she send me. "Believe me, Callie…I wish I had the energy. After the day we had, I could use a little release."

"Mmmm. Well, maybe I'll just give you one," I suggest, wiggling my eyebrows seductively. She laughs again, shaking her beautiful head at me as she disappears behind the shower door.

I have to fight the urge to fall asleep. The long day, and the rhythmic sound of water tapping against the tile wall, makes it hard to keep my eyes open. I feel myself fading, my body only jolting upright when a warm, moist hand brushes my cheek. "Shhh…go to sleep, sweetheart," Arizona whispers as her lips come to rest upon my forehead. "It's been a very long day."

"Hmmm, yeah it has," I grumble as I roll to face her, meeting a beautiful pair of bright blue eyes. "It has been a long day, Arizona. But it's also been a _difficult _one, and if you need to talk about anything…"

"No. We…we don't need to talk tonight," my wife says, shaking her head.

I can see that something is bothering her, but I don't want to press the issue. I just want to make sure she isn't putting on a brave face. "A lot happened today, baby. With Sophia, and with _us_…_therapy_."

"Please, Calliope…I-I can't," Arizona mumbles as she quickly moves off of the bed.

_She's going to run away from it all again_, I think as I watch her go. But I soon realize she isn't running away from something…she's running _towards_ something. I hear the wretched sound of vomit hitting the toilet as my wife gets ill…and suddenly, her strange behavior makes perfect sense.

I spring up from the bed, wide awake now, and run into the bathroom. "Oh, baby. Oh, my poor baby," I groan, my face scrunched up in anguish for her. Arizona turns towards me slightly, her cheeks flushed bright red as the sweat drips off of her brow. "What can I do? Tell me what you need."

"Water. No. No…tea. No…ginger ale," she mutters as she hangs her head over the bowl. "Drink…I-I need something to drink."

"Got it. Be right back," I say, swiftly making my way to the kitchen.

I return a few minutes later, with all three aforementioned beverages in hand. Arizona is sitting on the bathroom floor, resting her weary head against the cold, tile wall. "Okay…here is your water. And we didn't have ginger ale, but I managed to find a can of sprite, probably leftover from our New Year's party. And here's a cup of green tea…your favorite kind."

I realize I am rambling like my wife does, and I can't help but smile when I notice Arizona giggling despite how sick she obviously is. "Sorry. I just…I want to make you feel better," I explain as I set the tray of drinks down on the bathroom counter and sit beside her. My hand instinctively ends up on her forehead, and right away, I can tell she has a high fever. "Arizona, you're burning up. You need some Motrin, or Tylenol, or something. Maybe you should get back in the shower, let the water run a bit cooler than normal. And drink the water or, or anything so you don't get…"

"I'm not going to get dehydrated, Calliope," Arizona chokes out as she slides her limp body down the wall and lays on the cool floor. I just need to get everything out of my system before I can try and fill it back up with fluids. Okay?"

"Okay…sorry," I whisper, swallowing the nervous lump in my throat. It's silly and irrational, but I can't help it. I feel like I did when Sophia was sick this afternoon. She may not be my child, but Arizona is my baby too…and I hate to see her in any kind of pain or discomfort. I reach my hand out to rub her back, wanting so badly to comfort her. "Is this helping at all?" I ask when her breathing begins to sound more even and her body stops shaking so violently.

"Uh huh," she mumbles. "You're really good at taking care of people, Calliope. You would make an excellent doctor. Did anyone ever tell you that?"

She's joking. That's a good sign. I start to feel a little relieved, but before I can even inhale a deep breath, Arizona is up and in the toilet again. She empties her stomach, her body wrenching and heaving as illness takes control. "Oh god…I hate being sick," she cries when it finally comes to an end.

"Come on. Let's get you cleaned up a bit," I say as I lift her off of the floor and practically carry her over to the sink. I splash some cool water on her pink cheeks, then wash her hands and mouth with the baby soap beside Timothy's little tub. "There you go, honey. Now, hold on and I'll get you into bed."

Arizona doesn't say a word as I lead her out of the bathroom, the simple act of walking taking every ounce of strength and focus left in her. I'm beginning to think she doesn't even know what's happening or who I am until she rests her head on my shoulder, dark brown mirrored in baby blues when she opens her eyes and whispers, "Thank you."

"You're welcome, baby. I love you," I tell her as I pull the covers up to her chin, knowing she is cold despite the fire raging inside of her body. Arizona's eyes immediately start to close, so I pat her gently on the cheek to keep her awake. "Try and stay up for just a few more minutes," I plead, locking eyes with her once more. "You really need to get some meds in you to bring down that fever."

Arizona nods in agreement, but her eyes are closed again before I even make it back out to the kitchen. Dorado is waiting at the back door to be let out, so I open up the slider and nudge him out into the cold. "Go ahead and go, Rado. And make it quick tonight, buddy. I've got to get back to Arizona."

The dog runs out into the dark night, retuning just a moment later as I am rummaging through the medicine cabinet above the stove. "How do we not have any Motrin or Tylenol for adults in this house?" I ask Dorado, as if he's going to answer me. My four-legged companion just stands beside me, the whole weight of his body leaning against my leg. "Sorry, buddy…no time to scratch you tonight."

I check all the cabinets and drawers in the half bathroom down the hall, knowing before I even do so that there won't be any medicine in there. I already looked in our bathroom when Arizona first started getting sick…nothing there either. I know we don't take over the counter medication that often, but you think one of us would have Advil or something around here. I am just about to dump my whole purse out on the coffee table when a thought crosses my mind. One of us may not have an adult dose of medicine handy, but there is someone else in our house that just might. My mother in law takes Tylenol for her arthritis when it acts up. She usually has the prescription strength too, which would be perfect for Arizona's flu right now.

"Barb…Barbara," I whisper as I knock lightly on her door, realizing there's a good chance she is asleep at this hour. "Barb…"

I push the door to the guest room open ever so slightly, and the scene that meets my eyes is both shocking and utterly heartbreaking. Barbara Robbins, a woman I have never known to have any religious convictions, is kneeling down beside the bed…praying. Through the tiny crack in the door I can see the tears streaming down her face as she looks up to the God that I so often communicate with.

"Please…please bring him back to me," she whispers, eyes closed as she begs for God's help. "I need my husband. I-I, I need my Daniel."

My chest aches as I listen to my wife's mother pray for her husband…for her life back. I know the feeling all too well. I spent many nights praying that Arizona would return to me…begging God to return the love and happiness I depend on. As I sit and listen to Barbara pour her heart out to the God she is desperate enough to put faith in now, my own eyes begin to well with tears. Knowing how private a moment I am intruding on, I slowly back away from the door and leave my mother in law alone with her prayers. I don't have the heart to interrupt her session with God. She needs Him right now.

I glance up at the clock on the kitchen wall…twelve forty-five. Great. Arizona's been sick for over an hour now and I still haven't found any medication to reduce her fever. I think about calling Mark and asking him to do me a favor. But Arizona probably wouldn't like it. Guess I'll just have to run down to the convenience store across from the hospital. If I drive, I can be back here in less than ten minutes.

I throw on a pair of sneakers and a hoodie, and grab the keys off the kitchen counter. "I'll be right back," I tell Dorado, who is shuffling around by the front door in anticipation. The cold, winter wind hits me hard when I rip open the door, so I pull my hood over my head and suck in a deep breath. "Sometimes, I really do miss Miami," I mumble to myself as I prepare to face the harsh night.

I barely have one foot out of the door when I hear the crying, my shoulders slumped in defeat. "Okay, little man. Mama's coming," I say as I throw my keys back on the counter and head towards the nursery.

Timothy is wide awake in his crib, his little feet and fists pumping wildly. His cries subside the moment he lays eyes on me, and I can't help the smile that takes over my face at the sight of my sweet baby looking up at me with adoration. "Hello, my angel. Shhh, don't cry. Mama's here," I whisper as I lift him out of the crib and hold him close. "Guess you're probably getting hungry, huh?"

My beautiful boy just smiles at me, any hunger or sadness gone from his face now. His bright blue eyes are so mesmerizing…just like his Mommy's. His mommy. Oh my God…I almost forgot all about Arizona being so sick. "Hey now, mister. You're making me lose my train of thought. I was just about to go get your mommy some medicine when you woke up, you know that?" Timothy just keeps staring up at me, his little hand wrapped tightly around my finger. "What am I supposed to do now? Huh, Timmy Tims? Mommy's way too sick to take care of you…and Grandma's not having such a good night either. Guess I'll just have to bundle you up and take you with me." Timmy looks like he is starting to fade on me, his eyelids heavy despite his rumbling belly. "Thank goodness Mommy had a chance to pump before she got sick," I whisper as I inhale his sweet, baby scent. "We can get you a nice, big bottle as soon as we get back, okay? It'll only take a few minutes."

Timothy's eyes keep fluttering, his tiny body caught between hunger and sleep. The sound of my silly baby talk voice has apparently lulled him into slumber for the time being, but I know my son. If I put him back in the crib, he'll be up again in just a few minutes. So I gingerly lay him down on the changing table and get him into his bunting. He cries out a few times during the process, but ultimately stays asleep.

I hook him into his carrier and snap it into the car seat, crossing my fingers that the sound of the garage door doesn't wake Arizona. Maybe I should have left a note, just in case. But I'll be back in just a few minutes, and she's probably way too sick to get up anyway. "Alright, buddy. Let's do this and get home quick," I tell the sleeping angel in the backseat, glancing at him every few seconds in the rear view mirror.

I manage to make it down the block to the twenty-four hour convenience store without a peep from my little passenger, and I thank my lucky starts he doesn't wake up when the cold wind blows hard against my body, nearly knocking me over. I pull Timothy's blanket up to cover the carrier completely, not wanting the harsh weather to disturb him. The faster I can get out of here, the better the outcome for everyone. Arizona will get her meds…Sophia will get her next dose of Motrin…Timothy will get his bottle…and who knows, maybe I'll even get a little rest. _Wishful thinking_.

Yes, that's all that it is…_wishful thinking_. Everything had been going so smoothly that I almost forgot about the storm lurking around the corner. I forgot about the kind of disaster that can strike at any moment, taking all wishes, and hope, and joy and just tearing them to shreds. I forgot that bad weather…or bad _luck_, can follow you anywhere, making everything good come quickly to an end.

When my son starts to cry again, I think nothing of it. I remove the blanket covering his perfect, little body and stare down into the perfect, little face he inherited from my wife. I rock the carrier and speak to him in Spanish, trying to sooth him until I can pick up the things I need and get him home. I can see this woman looking at us as I scan the medicine aisle for Motrin and Tylenol. Out of the corner of my eye, I catch her…staring, questioning, judging. But again, I think nothing of it. I don't have time to think of anything besides my family right now…my sick wife and daughter at home, and the hungry baby I am trying to calm.

I finally find the extra strength Tylenol and throw it into my basket with the Motrin, practically bumping into the cashier when I attempt to make it over to the next aisle.

"Something I can help you with?" he asks, his puffy eyes narrowed at me as he looks down at the infant carrier.

"Um, I…I think I'm good," I reply as I shift the carrier to my other arm, wanting to get my son away from this weirdo. "Just need to grab some tissues," I say as I round the corner. I can feel the cashier's eyes on me the whole time I am shopping, an eerie feeling coming over me. Every minute I am in this place, the uneasiness grows. The storm is brewing indeed.

"It's a little late to take a small baby like that out, don't you think?" that same woman says as she comes to stand behind me in line. She purses her lips, brows raised as she locks eyes with the cashier. Normally, I'd have a whole lot to say to this woman…but tonight, I have more important things to worry about than the ridiculous lectures of a total stranger.

So I choose to ignore this meddling bitch and just place my items on the counter. Timmy is really staring to get upset now, his pale complexion turning pink with his frustration. "Shhh. Quiet now, buddy," I tell him, rocking the carrier a bit faster. "Please…"

Again, I can see the woman behind me make eye contact with the cashier, some sort of unspoken conversation occurring between the two of them. Their glances are about as subtle as a knife in the chest, and the more they stare at me, the harder my son cries. And the harder he cries, the more on edge I feel. "Come on, honey. I know you're hungry. I know" I whine, my voice pleading with the baby. "I'm not Mommy. I can't just whip it out and feed you, okay? You're just gonna have to wait until I can get you a bottle."

Timothy continues to wail and I've just about given up trying to comfort him. We'll be done in just a minute, and then I can get him home and feed him. I am staring to feel as impatient as my son is when I look over at the cashier and notice he is on the phone. "Seriously? Do you not see me waiting here?" I say, a bit loudly, causing a few more heads to turn in my direction. The cashier gives me a dirty look as he hangs up the phone, then rings me out at a snails pace. It's like he wants to keep me from leaving.

"Okay, sweetie. Let's get out of here," I whisper to Timothy once I have finally paid the cashier. I shoot daggers at the woman behind me, then brush past her towards the exit. I barely have the door open when, just like at home, a loud cry stops me from leaving the convenience store. This time, it is not the cry of my sweet baby boy. No, this is the cry of impending doom…the kind of sound that causes your ears to perk up, your mind to wander, your heart to pound.

I see the flashing lights before I even hear the cry of sirens, and my body instinctively stops dead in its tracks. In an instant, I am hit by the storm…the storm that was forming in my universe all day long. "Place the infant on the ground and put your hands up," a police officer demands, my skies suddenly turning to gray. Destruction…doom…despair. That's what I'm about to face.

_**A/N: Warning…it's a long one. If you don't want to read it…DON'T.**_

_**Okay, here is the last of the chapters that were uploaded before I left FF for a bit. The next one will be the new chapter, posted over on LJ last week! Working on chapter 15 when I can, not much free time these days. Anyway, just wanted to clear a few things up. First of all, to whoever the anonymous reviewer is who accused me of not being a lesbian…congratulations, you are correct! I have never claimed to be a "gold star lesbian" or said that I was never with men. I am openly bi-sexual and have had meaningful relationships with both men and women. For me, it's always been about the person-not the gender. It's funny because I actually do refer to my woman as my hubby on occasion. She works full time to support our family, does the more masculine-type jobs around the house, & likes to joke that all she's missing is the penis. LOL. Ironically, she is soooo very feminine & absolutely beautiful, no mistaking her for a man. Anyway, that's the deal. Believe it or not, take it or leave it…I could care less anymore. This is a world of fiction we're here to escape reality from, isn't it? My personal life should have nothing to do with my writing, and I really only share things because I think they sometimes make the story more plausible. And well, because I am an open book…I like to share my happiness with people, especially those of you who have become like friends to me. I will probably be more reserved than I was in the past. Perhaps, I have shared too much. **_

_**On another note, I didn't leave FF because of the nasty reviews. I can handle that & actually kind of got used to people bashing me, sad as that is. Anyway, it went way beyond that. At the same time this one "troll" (as everyone calls them ) left a particularly vile & threatening review, my email was hacked & I was very concerned about personal/financial information being affected. To top it all off, my woman (wife, partner, love of my life) found out about the review & kind of freaked out. She was pissed at me because I had become friendly with some of u guys here on FF & included personal info in my A/Ns. She doesn't read my fics on the net because we both agreed this would be "my" thing and having her review would be tacky. Now, that does NOT mean she's not totally enraptured with the stories & completely supportive. I always read her the chapters before I upload them, so she gets first dibs. Anyway, she got mad and jealous (which really annoyed me, but was also kind of hot). We had a MAJOR argument & she basically made me feel like I should stop writing fanfic. I overreacted & deleted the whole account. Needless to say, a few days later we made up & she felt bad that I made such a drastic decision. At the time, I felt it was necessary to show her that no one/nothing comes before her & our family. We are good now, better than ever maybe. Guess we were long overdue for a big fight, LOL. **_

_**I just wanted to clarify because there are a lot of people assuming that I left because of the harsh criticism. Soooo not true. It comes with the territory & I am one tough cookie. I am still overwhelmed with all the love, support, & loyalty here and on LJ...made me feel so good when I was down. And now that my lovey is back on board with my writing, it makes it that much better & easier. now all i need is free time...yeah right. a job, 2 kids, pets, a sex life, and sheer exhaustion get in the way alot. But i do what i can, when i can. Glad to be back, hope you will all continue to read! Please review if/when you can…your comments mean as much to me as the updates mean to you! -K.J.**_


	5. Chapter 15

_**This is a continuation of Building a Future, the sequel to Love Will Lead You Back. For any newcomers to the storyline, this is Callie and Arizona's journey through marriage and motherhood. This installment will pick up right where volume I left off, after the birth of Timothy. **_

**Disclaimer****: I don't own Grey's Anatomy or any of the characters/story lines. Sadly, those all belong to ABC and Shonda Rhimes.**

**Chapter 15**

_**Arizona's POV:**_

It's the middle of the night and I am sick. I remember that. I remember taking a shower, throwing up, being carried to bed. And that's it…everything went black from that moment on. I wake up, my body aching and drenched in sweat. I must have a fever. I roll over slowly, my head pounding against Callie's pillow. Callie. Where is she?

Sophia is still beside me in bed, her tiny body curled up into a ball. I feel her forehead. She's okay. Her fever has broken, unlike mine. I am hot…and cold. Freezing, despite the beads of liquid illness dripping from my skin. I need something to bring the fever down…to stop the chills…to take the pain away. "Callie. Cal. Come on, babe…where are you?" I cry out, my voice straining. "I need you."

My eyes close without permission, my body sinking back into the mattress as this vile flu takes over once more. My head is in a fog, my mind wandering down paths I'm not sure I want to go down. I see my father in the distance, standing at the edge of a dirt road. He's in his uniform, all crisp and clean as it was the morning of my brother's funeral.

"Daddy…is that really you?" my own voice echoes in my mind, the hallucination coming to life. I try to get closer to him, but I am stuck. Then he disappears into the woods, leaving a wooden box on the ground. I can feel the me in my mind moving, traveling through the fog. The box is opened. It holds the flag we were given in honor of Timothy. "Dad…Dad? Where are you?"

Pleas for my father resonate in my ears, over and over again. The sky is black, the trail leading into the woods dark and desolate. I am worried. I need to find my father.

"You're at a crossroad, Sis," a familiar voice bellows from behind the trees. "Don't go looking for Dad. You're still searching for yourself," my brother tells me, the sky turning as blue as his bright eyes.

"I can't just stand here and do nothing. I need to help him. He's lost again, Tim. He's lost and Mom needs him. We all need him to come back to us," I cry, my hands involuntarily covering my face.

I can feel my fingertips hit the contour of my chin…my overly warm cheeks…my burning eyes. The line between reality and delusion is starting to blur, but I am too ill yet to really wake up.

I hear my beloved brother's voice again, his finger pointing me in the direction of an entirely new path. "There's someone else who needs you right now," Timothy says as the outline of the apparition disappears. "Go…go to them."

The shadow of my body travels the path my mind has laid out for me, the quiet whispers of my brother soon replaced with a myriad of strange sounds. The noises in my head are familiar, but I have no clue as to their meaning. A ding…like a doorbell, or a chime in a store. A baby crying. Wait…that's not just any baby. It's my baby. My Timothy…my little man. He's crying, wailing. Why is he crying like that? Callie. I hear her. I hear her voice. She's upset. What's going on? Muffled voices…people talking, whispering. Sirens…loud, blaring sirens. They get louder and louder, along with my son's anguished cries and my wife's frantic screams. Everything is so loud, my head feels like it's going to explode. Then suddenly, it all stops. Nothing. Silence.

My eyes open wide, my body now sitting straight up in bed. I look around the room. Everything is just as it was a few moments ago when I tried to come back to consciousness. The house is quiet. Sophia is asleep beside me. Dorado is lying at the foot of the bed. The wall clock is ticking…tick-tock, tick-tock.

"Callie. Cal…where are you?" I call again, still receiving no answer.

I push the covers off of me and slowly stand up. The fog in my head has lifted. My body is no longer raging with fire. The nausea has subsided. How is this possible? Is it? It's like I am suddenly cured. Or maybe I am still hallucinating.

"Mommy…" a sweet voice beckons, letting me know that this is all, indeed, real. "Mommy, I thirsty," Sophia says, her little hands outstretched for her sippy cup.

"Here you are, sweetheart," I whisper as I come around and hand her the cup. I feel her forehead again. She's fine. The worst is over. At least, that's the trick my mind plays on me for a moment.

"Hey peanut, did you hear your brother crying? Is that why you woke up?" I ask my little girl as I run my fingers through her beautiful, raven curls. "Did Mama get up to take care of Timmy?"

"No. I not hear Timmy cry," Sophia replies, her lids beginning to fall. She lets out a big yawn and nestles into my side. "Tim Tim cried a long time ago, Mommy. He cried and then he not cry anymore. And then I hear the door."

"Someone rang the doorbell?" I ask, confusion setting in. Maybe that sound in my mind was real after all.

"No, Mommy. Mama took Timmy out with her. I see them in the window when I go pee pee," Sophia tells me, causing me to raise an eyebrow. "I was looking for Mama…but, but she was gone. I hear the front door shut and then I see her in the window."

"How long ago did all of this happen, peanut?" I inquire, grasping to understand what I clearly do not. "When was it that you got up to go potty? Why didn't you come get me?"

"I tried to wake you up, Mommy," Sophia cries in defense. "You were so sleepy and you not get up with me. I try, and try, and try again…but you not wake up."

"Okay, sweetie. Mommy's sorry," I whisper, pulling my little girl in close. I can see that Sophia is starting to get tired, so I lay down beside her in our bed for a while. She nestles into my side and is sound asleep within a few moments.

As soon as I know she is really out, I slide off the bed and tiptoe out of the bedroom. My pace picks up as soon as my feet come through the door, and I am just about out of breath when I reach the living room. I still feel so weak, but adrenaline is starting to take over my body already. I don't know what's going on here…why Callie left the house with Timothy or why she hasn't returned. But I know something is wrong. I can feel it, deep down in my gut.

I push back the curtains and stare out into the dark night. I am starting to feel sick to my stomach again, but now it's for an entirely different reason. "Something bad is happening," I whisper to myself as I lean my forehead against the cool glass.

Just then, I feel a hand on my shoulder and I whip around in terror. "Jesus…Mom, you scared the crap out of me," I scream, my hand held up as if I'm going to hit her.

"I'm sorry, dear," my mother says, closing her heavy lids for a moment. She looks exhausted in every way. Her eyes are all red and puffy, like she's been crying for hours. Her hair is a mess, and she is dripping with sweat. "I…I'm not feeling too well, Arizona. I think I need to sit down."

"Oh, Mom. Come…sit," I tell her, patting the couch beside the window where I am still staring out into the darkness. "Looks like you may have caught this lovely flu that seems to be ripping through the house."

"Yes. Callie told me that you ended up getting sick after you brought Sophia home," my mother says as she wraps a blanket around her shaking body. "Feeling any better?"

"Um…yeah, I am. I mean, I feel better physically," I stammer, my mind continuing to race. My mother gives me a questioning look and for a second, I think about telling her of my strange dream. But no, it doesn't even make any sense…it's crazy. It was just a dream. "I'm…I-I'm just, just worried about Callie," I choke out, swallowing the vile lump that is embedded in my throat. "Apparently she left the house with Timothy a while ago, but I have no idea why…or where she is."

"Did you try calling her?" my mother asks as she wipes the perspiration from her forehead.

"No. I didn't," I say as my eyes roam from the window to the coffee table, where my wife's cell phone is sitting.

"Ah…I see. Well dear, I'm sure she'll be back soon. Why don't you go back to bed," my mother suggests. "I can wait up for them."

Immediately, I shake my head back and forth. There's no way I can go to sleep now. I need to see my wife and my son. "No. I…I can't. I just…I can't shake the feeling that something is wrong, Mom," I tell her as I gaze back out the window. "She needs me. I know it. I just need to find her."

I close my eyes and inhale sharply, not wanting to let my emotions get the best of me. Tears are beginning to burn the back of my eyes, but I blink rapidly to keep them at bay. "Where are you baby?" I whisper into the cold glass, my warm breath frosting the window.

"What can I do, dear?" my mother asks as she rubs my back lovingly. "Do you want me to make some phone calls? Check hospitals…call some of your friends, see if maybe they've heard from her?"

"No. Thanks, Mom…but, but I-I need to look for her myself," I tell her as I turn around, blue meeting blue for the first time since my mother walked into the room. "Can you…can you just sit with Sophia? Make sure she's okay? I know you're not feeling well either, but maybe…"

"I've got it," my mom says, cutting me off. "Go…go find them. And please…call me as soon as you know anything."

I nod, give my mother a quick hug, then turn on my heels and run back into the bedroom. I throw on a pair of jeans and Callie's old college sweatshirt…the one she was wearing last night when she took Dorado for a walk. It still smells like her.

"Wish me luck," I say as I race out the door, not waiting to hear my mother repeat the mantra.

Once behind the wheel, I take a minute to calm myself down. I won't do anyone any good if I get into an accident. I need to breathe, but it's so hard. I'm anxious, and worried, and frightened. I press my nose against the sleeve of Callie's sweatshirt, inhaling as much of her as I can get. "I'm coming, baby. I'm coming for you and our little man, wherever you are," I say as I turn the key. The engine starts up with a roar and I take off down the driveway, hoping that I'll return shortly with my wife and son.

Maybe this is all just an overreaction on my part. Maybe Callie went to buy milk, or diapers, or medicine. Maybe she'll come home while I'm out searching and yell at me for going out in the cold. Maybe we'll just laugh this whole thing off in the morning. _And maybe not._

Maybe my instincts are right…something _is_ wrong. Maybe Callie is hurt…or God forbid, Timothy. What if something happened to our little surprise? Once again, my mind begins to wander down that terrifying path…the path created by fear and undying love for the people we cherish most in this world.

I think the tears are finally going to spill out, that I can no longer contain them. But then, I see it…Callie's car. As I turn the corner towards the hospital, I see our SUV parked outside the convenience store. My heart flutters with hope. Overreacting…I was just overreacting after all.

I pull into a parking space and slam my door shut, anxious to get inside the store and see for myself that my wife and son are okay. But before I even reach the door, I can see that everything is not okay. There is a police officer talking to the sales clerk, the red lights from their sirens shining in through the back windows. The medicine aisle is cordoned off with yellow tape, and another officer is taking fingerprints from a shelf.

I close my eyes and hear the blaring sirens from my dream. That ding of the store chime is all too familiar as I push open the door, and people are still whispering in their muffled voices. But there is no baby crying…no screams coming from the woman I love. It's over…the storm has already ripped through this place.

It's only when I close my eyes again that I can see them. I see Callie's face…her perfect, beautiful face full of anger, and sorrow, and despair. And my son- my sweet baby boy…he is still crying in anguish, just like in my dream. But where are they? And what happened here that has brought them to this horrible place?

Just as my feet begin to move in the direction of the police officers, a strong vibration moves against my hip. My cell phone. I reach into my jeans and rip the phone out, seeing at once that I don't recognize the number. "Hello…"

"Arizona. It's me." Callie's voice is low and void of all emotion. She sounds so defeated. I swallow the lump in my throat and suck in a deep breath, feeling relieved that she is at least alive. I am about to ask what happened…make sure Timothy is alright…find out what I should do. But there isn't time for all of that now. "I only have a minute, Arizona…so don't. Don't ask. Just get down here, okay? Get down here so we can straighten this all out."

In the far distance, I can hear my little man screaming. He's so upset. Why is he so upset? And why is he so far away from my wife? "Oh God, babe. Timothy. Is he…are you, are you guys okay?" I choke out, suddenly feeling sick to my stomach again.

Callie is silent. Not a word comes through the other end of the line. "Right. Right…no time for that now. Where are you?" I inquire, my fisted clenched in nervous anticipation.

"We're at the police station, Arizona. They've got the baby…and I've, I've been arrested," she whispers, her voice cracking just a bit. "We need you."

"I'll be right there," I promise, wishing more than anything I could reach through the phone to touch her right now. "I love you, Calliope. And I'm coming. I'm coming, baby."

**To be continued…**

_**A/N: Hello, everyone and thank you all for the birthday wishes! I hate that it is taking me so long to update, but I had a serious family emergency to deal with the past few weeks. My sister gave birth a bit early and had some serious complications. For a few days, we didn't know if she was going to pull through. It was terrifying. Luckily, she recovered and is home with her husband and beautiful little boy…my nephew! He is perfect and my sister is on the mend. Anyway, that is why I have been MIA. Spending time at the hospital and taking care of the baby a bit when she couldn't be with him. But I am finally home (just in time for my bday, yay!) and decided I would post today. This chapter was supposed to continue from Callie's perspective, but I decided to end it here so that you guys had something to read. Don't want anyone to forget this story! Please review if you can, will help bring me back to reality. Have a great week & be thankful for the life you have…the past few weeks have taught me that. I love my wife and girls even more now, and feel so blessed to have had 2 smooth, natural deliveries…stuff I guess I took for granted!**_


	6. Chapter 16

_**This is a continuation of Building a Future, the sequel to Love Will Lead You Back. For any newcomers to the storyline, this is Callie and Arizona's journey through marriage and motherhood. This installment will pick up right where volume I left off, after the birth of Timothy. **_

**Disclaimer****: I don't own Grey's Anatomy or any of the characters/story lines. Sadly, those all belong to ABC and Shonda Rhimes.**

**Chapter 16**

_**Callie's POV:**_

I've been sitting in this cell for almost two hours now…just sitting and waiting while they torture me. It's not the cold, damp air or the smell of urine that is causing me distress. It's not fear for my own life or the prospect of serving time. No. It's the sound of my son crying down the hall that is tormenting me. It's breaking my heart…driving me mad…winding me up like a caged tiger.

Like a tiger, I am ready for the fight. I have been since the police first came into the convenience store and accused me of stealing my own child. He may not be bound to me by genetics or resemble me in any way, but he is _mine_. Timothy is _my_ son, and I will attack anyone who tries to threaten my role as his mother.

"We need to bring you and the infant down to the station."

I remember hearing those words and thinking, _Why? Why is this happening to me? Why does it have to be like this for us?_

I tried to stay calm, tell myself that this was just a formality…that it would all be over with as soon as they realized the mistake they had made. But then they took my baby and put him in the back of a police car. He was crying then, just like he is now. He was crying out of hunger, and frustration, and sadness…and they wouldn't let me near him.

"Please…that's my little boy," I pleaded, tears beginning to stream down my face. Couldn't they see it in my eyes…the love I have for him, the need to comfort my son?

No. They couldn't see it. But I could see it in their eyes…the way they were racially profiling me, looking me up and down like I was some kind of common criminal. Prejudice prevented them from seeing it, but I knew the truth. I was being wrongly accused. My son and I were being mistreated. And I wasn't going to allow that to happen, at least not to Timothy.

"Please, officer. Just let me ride down to the station with him. He's so upset and y-you, you look like a nice guy. You probably have kids, right? Please…don't make my baby cry anymore. I'll do whatever you want…j-just, just let me be with him."

I remember taking a step towards the cop car, thinking this thirty-something year old guy with his two perfect kids and stay at home wife could surely understand my need to comfort the wailing infant in the back of his cruiser. I had done a good job of staying calm…didn't pose a threat to or anyone else, especially my little man. Officer Kohen…that was his name. He was going to feel terrible about all of this once the truth came out. He'd be begging for my forgiveness, just as I was begging him to let me take care of Timothy.

"Ma'am…you need to step away from the vehicle." I heard his voice…his cold, unsympathetic voice, his tone laced with disgust for a woman he didn't even know. Maybe I should have stopped then. Maybe I should have listened to the police officer and kept my feet on the ground.

But I couldn't. I couldn't do that when my angel was crying in the backseat of that cruiser. So, like a tiger, I leapt forward and threw open the car door. "Shhh…it's okay, sweetheart. Mama's here."

Those were the only words I spoke to my son before Officer Kohen grabbed the back of my arm and twisted me around. "I said, step away from the vehicle," he repeated, any shred of kindness quickly disappearing from his face.

But I still couldn't do it. I couldn't just walk away from my baby without a fight. So I did what the tiger in me demanded. I pulled myself away from the cop, shoving him with my elbow. And when he came at me again, I clocked him. Square in the nose, I punched Officer Kohen.

It was only a matter of seconds before the other two cops came rushing over, slamming me up against the car. The pain in my face as it hit the door handle was nothing in comparison to the pain in my heart. Within moments, I was handcuffed and thrown in the back of the cruiser. Finally, I was with my little man. "Shhh…shh, pumpkin," I whispered softly as I inched my way closer to Timothy. "Shhh…Mama's right here, and you're going to be just fine. I promise."

"Shut your mouth, bitch," one of the other cops screamed as he leaned over my body to fasten my seat belt. "Stop pretending to be so concerned about that kid. It's easy to see he's not yours. We're gonna get him back to his parents and you're gonna go away for a long time, lady. And guess what? Now we can add assault to that kidnapping charge…"

"I didn't kidnap anyone," I yelled, my blood boiling under my skin. "And the only reason I assaulted an officer was to protect _him_," I said, gesturing to Timothy with a nod of my head. "Believe it or not, he _is_ my son. My wife can prove that."

The young officer in training who had been standing behind, just watching and learning from his mentors, shot me a look of surprise when he heard me mention my _wife_.

"Excuse me, Officer Taylor…maybe um, maybe we should phone this so-called wife of hers," he suggested, his kind eyes glancing over at me sympathetically. "You know, just to cover ourselves…in case, by some slim chance, she's telling the truth."

"She assaulted an officer, Rogers. We have every right to lock her up while we sort this whole thing out. Don't go all soft on me, son," Taylor ordered. Rogers shrugged his shoulders and frowned in defeat.

I mouthed him a silent _thank you_ and forced a small smile, wanting him to know that his fair nature was much appreciated. Timothy was still crying so hard that he could barely breathe, and I had to make the conscious choice to stay calm, even though I was losing my mind. "Please…can you, c-can you at least get some formula or something for him? His last feeding was hours ago and…"

"I told you to shut your mouth, didn't I?" Taylor asked as he slammed the door shut. From inside the cruiser, I could see him whispering something in Kohen's ear. The two of them laughed and looked at me with such disdain. Racist bastards.

Kohen's face was full of both blood and anger as he drove off towards the police station. I could see him eying me through the rear view mirror, his black orbs filled with hatred and loathing. I wanted to scream at him, tell him he deserved that punch and that he was going to pay for treating me and my son this way. But I couldn't do that. The tiger had to be laid to rest for a while. My little boy needed me.

"Vamos a la vuelta…del toro torojil," I began to sing softly, completely disregarding Kohen's orders to be quiet. "A ver a la rana…comiendo perejil. La rana no esta aqua estara…en su vergel cortando, una rosa sembrando un clavel."

I sang my baby boy one of his favorite lullabies, watching with a heavy heart as his little arms and legs gradually stopped flailing and his breathing slowed to a normal pace. "Mama's here, mi pequeño sorpresa. Mama's here." After a moment, I was met with a pair of bright blue eyes and my heart began to beat again. In those eyes, I could see my whole world…my wife, the love we share made this perfect, beautiful little boy. Just like out daughter, this little boy is embedded in every fiber of my being, although not an ounce of my blood runs through his veins. Biology doesn't mean a damn thing…_except when it does. _

"Hi, angel," I whispered to Timmy, wanting him to see that I was still there. A smile. It was tiny and short-lived, but I saw it. He smiled at me. "It's going to be okay, sweetheart. I promise you…everything is going to be okay."

I closed my eyes for a moment and thanked God. I thanked him for the tiny miracle beside me. I thanked him for letting this happen now, when my son can't understand it. I thanked him for having this happen to me and not Arizona. She's had her fair share of racism and ignorant judgment thrown at her with Sophia. At least, He has spared her from this.

They let me call Arizona when we arrived at the police station. "One phone call, bitch," Kohen husked in my ear as he yanked on the cuffs, digging the hard metal into my skin a little deeper. I had my wife on the line for less than a minute. Then I was thrown into this cell, where I've been rotting for nearly two hours now.

"Is my wife here yet?" I call out into the darkness, hearing my own voice echo through the police station. No one answers me. I can hear nothing but low voices in the distance and the constant cries of my son. My own mind never could have conjured up such a nightmare. That storm I felt coming on…it is here, wreaking havoc on my life.

"Timothy…baby, it's okay. Please, please don't cry," I scream, no longer able to contain my voice when I hear him cry out in distress again. "What is wrong with you people? He's just a baby."

Suddenly, Officer Rogers appears in the hallway leading to the cells. "Try and stay quiet," he pleads, those sympathetic eyes momentarily locking with mine. "I sent the Chief's secretary to the store for some Similiac and a bottle. She's going to feed him as soon as she gets back. I promise."

"How can they do this to me?" I ask Officer Rogers, looking him dead in the eye. "I haven't committed any crime here. They can't just lock me up and…"

"Actually…you did commit a crime. The moment you assaulted an officer, they had every right to hold you in this cell," the young man says calmly, sympathy looming in his eyes.

I raise my eyebrows, tilting my head in the direction of the main station. "I-I don't hear it. I don't hear it anymore."

"Hear what?" Rogers asks, turning his body in the same direction.

"My son. I-I don't hear him. He stopped crying," I whisper, unsure if that fact should make me feel better or worse.

There is dead silence in the air for a moment…eerie, unnerving silence. Then an entirely new sound of distress fills the air. It's a woman screaming. I can't understand what she is saying, but her cries are blood curdling. "What's going on out there?" I ask, both my body and mind on edge with nervous anticipation.

"I need to take a set of fingerprints," Rogers informs me, completely ignoring my words and getting back to his job. Taylor and Kohen…they'll be waiting for me to come back with the prints, so…"

"So let's just get this over with then," I say, finishing his sentence. The screams of the anguished woman start to subside and, once again, silence fills the air.

Officer Rogers unlocks the cell and gestures for me to turn around. He pulls his cuffs out and is about to throw them on when he sees the cuts in my wrists. "Jesus," he exclaims as he looks over the deep, red tracks left by his superiors. I can see him shaking his head in disbelief as he contemplates what to do next. "Listen, um…"

"Callie. My name…my name is Callie Torres," I tell him. "I know your buddies back there don't believe me, but I'm an orthopedic surgeon at Seattle Grace Hospital."

He offers me a weak smile, then gingerly places the handcuffs around my wrists. "Callie…can you please walk over the table with me?" he asks. I nod and comply with the officer. I need to have at least one of them on my side.

It takes about ten minutes for Officer Rogers to complete the fingerprints and clean me up. I am thankful for it, as crazy as it sounds. Ten minutes out of the cage is better than none for this tiger. When the cell door slams shut, I hear my baby again. This time, he isn't crying though. He's cooing, just like he always does, the sound of his sweet voice seeming closer than ever before.

Once again, my ears prick in the direction of my son. "He sounds okay now. Do you think…do you think that lady fed him?" I ask.

"No. No…she didn't. I just fed our son myself."

Arizona. Her voice is like music to my ears. Even though her tone is fueled by rage, hearing her is so uplifting.

"Arizona…" I call to her, wanting to be certain she is really here. She doesn't answer me at first, and for a second, I think my mind is playing tricks on me. Then she comes around the corner with Timothy in her arms. Seeing him with her instantly brings tears to my eyes and I feel my body moving against my will. I slide down to the floor and just cry, burying my face in my hands.

I know that the storm is far from over…that this night will live in my mind forever, haunting me like a bad dream. But my wife is here now. I don't have to weather the storm alone. "Thank God you're here," I whisper as dark chocolate meets bright blue. "Thank God."

**To Be Continued…**

_**A/N: Soooo glad I was finally able to get this chapter finished. There has been so much going on in my real life that I just haven't had much time to write. Hoping you all enjoyed this chapter, please let me know what you think! Thanks for following this series, love writing it! Hope you all have a great week ahead of you! Yay for the warm, beautiful weather!**_


	7. Chapter 17

_**This is a continuation of Building a Future, the sequel to Love Will Lead You Back. For any newcomers to the storyline, this is Callie and Arizona's journey through marriage and motherhood. This installment will pick up right where volume I left off, after the birth of Timothy. **_

**Disclaimer****: I don't own Grey's Anatomy or any of the characters/story lines. Sadly, those all belong to ABC and Shonda Rhimes.**

**Chapter 17**

_**Callie's POV**_:

Seeing Arizona here is so surreal. Even though I know she is not just a figment of my imagination, I can't wrap my mind around the fact that she is actually standing before me. I lift my eyes from the floor and meet her baby blues again, my tears flowing faster than ever.

"Oh God, Callie. Baby, are you okay?" Arizona asks, running up to the cell.

I nod my head as I pull myself off of the ground and move closer to her. "How long have you been here?" I ask, needing to know the details of what has happened.

"About half an hour," she replies, her eyes filled with unshed tears. "I asked to see you earlier, but then I heard him crying and…"

"No. You were right to go to him," I tell her, staring deep into the endless ocean of blue before me. I glance down at our son, fading off to sleep peacefully in his mommy's arms. Finally, a weight has been lifted off of my chest. Finally, my little angel is safe and sound.

Rogers has been standing against the back wall of the station, watching our interaction intently. "I-I, I knew you were telling the truth," he stammers, swallowing the lump in his throat. "I tried to tell them, but they…"

Arizona narrows her eyes, shooting the man a deadly look. "Get me his carrier," she instructs Officer Rogers, who looks positively frightened by the sight of my enraged wife.

"Don't take it out on him, Arizona," I say quite seriously. "He's the only one who's been playing by the rules in all of this. He really did try to help me. He made sure I got my one phone call right away…and he, he was looking out for Timothy."

"Looking out for Timothy?" she yells as she begins to pace the small area before my cell. "When I got here, he was wailing so hard that I…it sounded like they were killing him, Callie. His little body was shaking when I picked him up. And he was so hungry…_so_ hungry. But he couldn't nurse for a few minutes because he was gasping for air. Didn't seem like anyone was looking out for our son to me."

Arizona's angry rant has taken all of the air from her lungs, and when I turn to face her again, I can see that she is struggling to remain upright. She places her hands on the bars and inhales sharply, trying to calm her obvious dizzy spell. "How are you feeling?" I whisper, dark brown reflected in bright blue again.

"I'm fine," she responds matter-of-factly, completely dismissing my concern. "And before you even ask, Sophia is fine too. She's home with my mother. I just called to let her know I was down here. Sophia's still sleeping…fever broke a while ago."

"And yours?" I ask, refusing to back down when it comes to her health. "I went to the store to get you some medicine," I inform her. "I took our son out in the middle of the night because I was worried about you. I think I have a right to know if you're okay."

She huffs in anger and rolls her eyes. "It's not about me right now, Calliope," she says, her tone reprimanding. "Yes, I have the flu. And I don't feel one hundred percent right just yet, but…"

"How did you get Timmy back?" I ask, cutting her off. If she isn't going to let me ask about her well-being, she can at least answer me about our son.

"When I got here, I identified myself as your wife and asked to see you," she begins, swallowing the lump in her throat. "They said you were in lock-up for assaulting an officer. Is that true?"

"Yes," I reply, not wanting to get into it all just yet. "What about Timothy? Where was he when you showed up?"

Arizona lets out a long-winded sigh, but doesn't press the issue. "He was with some secretary. She was trying to give him a bottle, but he wasn't having it. The cops tried to keep me from him, but our lawyer…"

"Our lawyer? You called him?" I ask, shrieking in surprise.

"Yes, Calliope. I called our lawyer," Arizona says, as if it shouldn't even be a question. "On the way over here, it dawned on me that we might need some legal assistance. Anyway, he told the cops that a DNA test would prove that I was the baby's mother…_biological_ mother."

The moment my wife catches her slip of the tongue, I can see the regret on her face. But this isn't her fault. She's not the one I needed to prove anything to. "Don't. Just…_don't_. I know what you meant, Arizona," I whisper.

Once again, she chokes down a lump. "So our lawyer whips out all these family pictures…the ones we gave him after we had those legal papers drawn up for you and Timothy. And I had pictures too. Of you and I…of us with Sophia and Timothy. I could see them getting nervous then," she tells me. "Those damned racist, ignorant cops. They knew they had made a big mistake. They started getting all squirrelly, saying they wanted the DNA test to prove it."

"But that could take days. It took at least forty-eight hours when we did the test for Mark with Sloan," I recollect.

"Well, it didn't matter anyway because just as Jennings was about to call his friend, the D.A., this couple comes walking into the station. The woman sees our son and comes running towards us."

"A woman…what woman?" Then it dawns on me. The woman crying. "Oh, no," I mumble, tapping my forehead against the bars.

"Yes. It was the woman whose baby is missing," Arizona confirms. "For a minute, I think she really thought that Timothy was her little one. She called him by her son's name and threw her arms open wide…until she realized that h-he, he wasn't hers. Then she just started…"

"Screaming," I whisper, closing my eyes as the painful memory takes over my mind. "Yeah, I heard her. Oh, God…that poor woman."

I tap my head against the bars again, this time a little harder. "God damn it. God damn this whole situation," I holler as I turn away from my wife, not wanting to wake our sleeping baby after all he's been through.

"Callie, I…I-I don't know what to say," Arizona mutters, her cheeks flushed pink. "I'm so, so sorry this happened to you, baby. I wish that I could…"

"But you can't. You can't change it, Arizona," I tell her, defensiveness in my tone. "People are always going to look at me with him and think he's not mine. They'll think we're friends…that Timmy is yours and Soph is mine. They'll think I'm just his nanny…you know, some illegal immigrant you hired real cheap to take care of your baby while you're off being an amazing surgeon. Or they'll think I kidnapped him."

"Calliope…"

"No. Don't. Don't even bother, Arizona," I tell her, glancing back to meet her sad eyes.

Officer Rogers, who seems to have been waiting tentatively outside lock-up, cautiously enters the room with Timothy's carrier. "Sorry to interrupt, but um…here you go, ma'am."

"Thank you," Arizona says, gesturing for him to place the baby carrier on the table. She takes a minute to strap Timothy into the seat, peppering his face with soft kisses as she lowers him down. "You're safe and sound, sweet boy," she whispers to our son, her eyes locked with mine. "Thank goodness, you're both safe and sound."

"Yeah…I guess you were probably a little freaked out when you woke up, huh?" I ask, suddenly feeling guilty for leaving without even so much as a note. Arizona nods and smiles as she makes her way over to the cell, placing the infant carrier on the floor beside her. "I was just trying to take care of you," I cry, tears burning the back of my eyes.

"I know, sweetheart," she whispers, her baby blues glossing over as she stares into my eyes. "You've been taking care of me for so long now. Now it's my turn to take care of you. I'm going to make these idiot cops pay for the way they treated you."

"No need for that, ma'am," Officer Taylor says as he and Kohen come trailing into the room behind our lawyer. "We've received sufficient proof that the baby does, indeed, belong to you ladies. And the Chief of police has decided to drop the assault charge. You're free to go, Ms. Torres," he says as he unlocks my cell.

"That's Mrs. Robbins-Torres," Arizona says as she practically pushes him out of the way to get to me. Once the door is fully opened, she grabs my hand and leads me out into the main room. She leans in to place a kiss on my cheek, just then noticing the bruise on my face. "They did this to you?" she asks, the redness in her cheeks now growing out of anger.

I don't even want to get into it all. I don't want to watch rage burn my wife from the inside out when she hears how they slammed me up against the cop car. How they yanked me around like some worthless mutt they picked up off the street, the cuffs digging harder and harder into my wounded skin. How they made me listen to _him_ cry- our angel, our little surprise.

"Ms. Torres…um, I mean- Mrs. Robbins-Torres," my young friend, Officer Rogers, stammers, his hands shaking as he thoroughly tries to avoid Arizona's evil glare. "I saw what happened out there…and, and in here. I'm a good man. I-I want to be a good police officer. It wasn't right…none, n-none of it was right and…"

"Rogers…your job is on the line here," Kohen cautions, raising a finger at him. "I don't know what you think you're doing, but…"

"I believe he's just offered himself as a witness in the case that will be brought against you _fine_ officers," our lawyer interrupts.

"That's right. You are going down…all of you," Arizona screams, charging towards Kohen and Taylor. Jennings grabs her by the arm, warning her not to go to there with a simple nod of the head. "How dare you? How dare you treat an innocent woman this way? How dare you put your hands on my wife?" Arizona yells, that rage starting to set the room on fire.

"Arizona…don't," I tell her, pulling her back.

"What? Don't what, Calliope?" she yells, turning to face me. "Which one of them did this?" she asks, brushing my bruised cheek ever so gently with the back of her fingers. I shake my head slowly, making the decision to end all of this before it even begins.

We can't go through this right now. We can't handle it. _She_ can't handle it. Four hours ago, my wife was lying in our bed, terribly ill. Four days ago, I caught her crying in the bathroom, talking to her dead brother about her missing, semi-psychotic, war-traumatized father. Four weeks ago, our whole life was in jeopardy. _This_ I can handle. _That_- wondering if the love of my life is going to disappear…that I _cannot_ handle, ever again.

"_You_ tell me then," Arizona demands, lifting her head to lock eyes with Officer Rogers.

Rogers looks to me, unsure of whether he should fuel her fire. "Don't," I tell him with no uncertainty. "We don't need to do this. We're _not_ doing this, Arizona."

"What do you mean, we're not doing this?" she squeals, her baby blues open wide as they search my tired eyes for an answer. "If you think I'm just going to stand by and let them treat you this way…"

"It's not up to you," I whisper, looking down at the floor. "I don't want to press charges," I say, this time looking up at Jennings. "I just want to get my son out of this horrible place and go home."

I turn around to grab Timothy's carrier, thankful that for just one minute, I don't have to look at any of them. I start to make my way out of the holding room, only looking back when I notice my wife isn't behind me. Arizona is just standing there with her mouth agape, tears streaming down her face. "Calliope…this, th-this is crazy. What they did to you….how you were treated. We can't just let them get away with it. We should press charges. We should…"

"I said _no_," I holler, my own rage echoing off the cold, concrete walls. "Now let's go, Arizona."

This time, she follows me. I can tell by the look in her eyes that she doesn't approve. She doesn't understand. And I'm not so sure I want her to. How can I tell my wife that the reason I don't want to fight this battle is because of her? How can I tell her that I don't think she's strong enough to fight anything besides the demons inside of her?

I can't. I can't explain it. I can't tell her that my insides are being ripped up at the thought of letting those racist pigs win. I can't tell her just how much I want to make those men pay for what they did to me. I can't tell her that, more than anything, I need her right now. I need her to hold me, and comfort me, and shelter me from this awful storm I'm weathering. But I can't tell her that. Because the storm brought on by years of repression and inner trauma is far more dangerous than the tiny clap of thunder that occurred this evening. Her storm is still raging, and I promised her I would always find her. I still need to be her shelter…protect her, comfort her, hold her. Losing her isn't an option. So I choose to loose a piece of myself. I choose to let those crooked cops take a piece of me.

The ride home is filled with uncomfortable silence. Arizona drives straight home, not saying a word the entire time. I sit in the back seat with Timothy, holding his tiny hand in my own and studying his beautiful, little face. He is worth it…worth everything I went through tonight. My eyes lift from my son's face to meet his maker's in the rear view mirror. _She_ is worth it. She is everything.

"We need to talk about this," Arizona says as we settle into bed, her fingers tracing my path down Sophia's back.

I shake my head adamantly, holding Timothy so close to my heart. I want him to know he's safe…safe with him mama. In this moment, I never want to let him go. I just want to hold my son and sleep. "Goodnight, Arizona," I whisper as I turn out the light, protecting myself from the tempest of life.

_**A/N: Ok, so the semester is coming to an end & I have virtually no free time. Except for Fridays, which is why I FINALLY got to finish this chapter! YAY! Now I know that a lot of you want to see those bastard cops pay…but, in staying true to the characters and SL, I have got to take this path. There will be a lot more drama and even a bit of angst btwn the girls. Hopefully, when all is said and done, you will be happy with the outcome and see why I've chosen to write it this way. Please give me your feedback as always, love hearing from all of you! Have a great weekend & look out for a "Little Moments," update soon. Can't wait to write about last night's episode…I will MAKE time for that somehow. In the process of getting prepared to make baby # 3, so bear with me if the updates are slow. As you know, we can't just take the traditional route…lots of timing/strategy involved, but VERY FUN! Hoping for a little boy when it happens, but our girls are so beautiful and healthy that we will be thrilled whichever way it goes. Wish me luck! Have a great weekend!**_


	8. Chapter 18

_**This is a continuation of Building a Future, the sequel to Love Will Lead You Back. For any newcomers to the storyline, this is Callie and Arizona's journey through marriage and motherhood. This installment will pick up right where volume I left off, after the birth of Timothy. **_

**Disclaimer****: I don't own Grey's Anatomy or any of the characters/story lines. Sadly, those all belong to ABC and Shonda Rhimes.**

**Chapter 18**

_**Arizona's POV**_:

When I wake up this morning, she is gone. Timothy is no longer wrapped up in her arms. Sophia isn't lying in between us. I am alone. In the distance, I can hear our baby girl's quiet laughter. I can smell the coffee brewing. I look at the clock. Noon. After the horrible night my wife just had, she let me sleep until noon. And I _did_…_I slept_. I slept off the vile flu that was the cause of her heartache in the first place. If Callie didn't have to go out and get me meds, she would have never been accused of kidnapping. Our son would have never been ripped away from his mama. My wife would have never been treated like a criminal and thrown behind bars. It all leads back to _me_.

I creep slowly down the hall, my head returning from the fog it's been in for the past few days. There they are…my beautiful family, sitting in their respective seats around the kitchen table. Sophia is dipping a long strip of French toast into a puddle of syrup, her sticky fingers oozing everywhere. Timothy is in his bouncy seat, watching his mama's every move, smiling just for her. And Calliope…_my Calliope_- she's just carrying on like it's any other morning. I stand back and watch her for a moment. She's gorgeous. Absolutely radiant. But there's something sadly different about my beautiful woman this morning. Her smile is forced. Her eyes don't have that amazing light behind them. Her body is here, but her soul is somewhere else.

"I'm so sorry," I whisper from my stance beside the refrigerator, unable to help the frown that is tugging at the corners of my mouth.

"Hey. Um, good…g-good morning," Callie stammers, closing her eyes so she doesn't have to look at me. When those big, round saucers open again, she stares right through me. "Look how much better someone is feeling today, Mommy," Callie says, gesturing to our peanut. "She's managed to eat almost a whole piece of toast."

"I see that. Glad you're feeling better, sweetie," I tell Sophia as I make my way around the table. I kiss the array of raven curls adorning our daughter's head and smile down at our little surprise, who is still enraptured with my wife. "Hey, little man…guess Mama fed you already too?"

"Yeah. There were still a couple bags left in the freezer. Hope you don't mind," Callie says, once again refusing to look in my eyes.

"No…n-n-o, that's okay," I mumble, swallowing the lump in my throat. "I was just surprised to see how late it is. Why didn't you wake me?"

"Because you were sick and needed the rest," Callie spits out, as if the answer should be obvious. "And, and because I…I just didn't want to, okay?"

"Okay," I whisper, not wanting to get into it in front of the kids. "Well, thanks. I guess it was good to sleep. I do feel much better. How are _you _feeling this morning?"

"Me?" Callie asks, furrowing her brow in confusion. "I'm fine. I wasn't the one who was sick, Arizona." I guess this is how she wants to play the game…pretending as if everything is right as rain.

"I'm not asking about your physical health," I tell her, raising my voice in frustration. "Although, I am a bit worried about your cheekbone. Looks like a pretty good cut there. Maybe you should have Mark take a look…"

"I said, I'm fine," Callie yells under gritted teeth, her tone causing the hair on the back of my neck to stand up. "Would you like some more apple juice, peanut?" she asks Sophia, turning her back to me.

"Callie," I whisper, following her as she goes about her business as if it's just any other morning. "Callie. Calliope," I finally scream after being ignored over and over again. "You can't just act like nothing happened. You can't just pretend that everything is okay."

"Why not? You've been doing that for over twenty years, haven't you?" she mutters under her breath, although I can hear her loud and clear.

I take a deep breath and decide to back down for a moment, letting Callie hide behind the pile of dishes in the sink. Without another word, I grab a mug and pour myself a cup of coffee. There is already a plate of French toast in front of my chair, and I can't help but smile at my wife's thoughtfulness. No matter how stubborn and angry the woman may be, she never ceases to take care of me. She takes care of us all.

"Good morning, everyone," a familiar voice bellows, breaking me from my thoughts.

"Hi, Mom. How are you doing?" I ask, pulling a chair out for her.

"Well, I think the worst is over. I stopped getting sick around two or so. Don't remember much after that," she chuckles as she runs her fingers down Sophia's back. "Looks like this little lady is all better today."

"Uh huh," Sophia says, nodding her pretty little head. "Mama's yummy toast make me all better."

For the first time since I entered the room, I see a genuine smile on my wife's face. I'll do anything to get those smiles back permanently.

"I'm sorry I didn't wait up for you girls to get home last night…or, or should I say this morning?" my mother says, glancing back and forth between me and my wife.

"That's okay," Callie chimes in before I can go into any detail about what occurred the previous evening. "Do you feel up for some toast, Barb? There's plenty here."

My mother stares at me for a moment, concern filling up her big, blue eyes. But she doesn't dare ask. She doesn't dare raise any more questions about what happened last night. Guess all the time she's spent here has taught her a thing or two about her daughter-in-law. "No thank you, sweetie," she replies, her eyes leaving mine to meet the beautiful, brown ones across the room. "I think I'll just make myself some tea."

As my mom makes her way to the stove, Sophia's fork falls off the table and lands on the floor with a heavy clang. My mother nearly jumps out of her skin at the loud noise behind her, and Timothy begins to cry. "Sorry, Gramma. Sorry, Tim Tim," Sophia whines, her bottom lip sticking out as tears fill her eyes.

"Hey…it's okay, peanut," I whisper, reaching across the table to grab her tiny hand. "It was just an accident."

My mother laughs and tells Sophia not to worry, but she is clearly still upset. As is our little man, whose startled cry has turned into a desperate wail. Once I wipe the tears from my daughter's eyes, I move to pick up my son. "It's alright, buddy. Mommy's coming," I assure him.

"No. That's okay. I've got him," Callie tells me, her eyes finally meeting mine. The look in them says not to argue with her. So I don't. I let her take care of our son because I know that is what she needs right now. I know that she got up and fed him, and made breakfast for everyone, and went right on being the amazing wife and mother she is so that she wouldn't have to think about last night. She did it all, like she always does, because that was easier for her than facing the heartache.

I watch as she lifts Timothy out of the seat, their eyes meeting like two lost souls. Callie cradles the baby in her arms, more tightly than usual, almost hugging him. For the first time, I can really see the pain that what happened last night is causing her. "Oh, mi pobre bebé," she whispers, bringing her perfectly plump lips down upon his forehead. Her soft touch radiates love, and our little boy is at once calm and happy again.

"Mama es aquí. Estoy aqua. Y no voy a dejar que alguien le tome lejos de mí nunca más," Callie continues as she lightly trails her mouth over the top of his head, promising she will never let anyone take him away from her again.

Timothy's big, blue eyes study every speck of the decadent chocolate before him, his tiny baby mouth working on overdrive to form a smile for her. She is the love of his life right now. She is his whole world. He loves me, I know that. Just as Sophia always loved Callie. But the sparkle that our peanut's eyes save just for me, Timothy's eyes give unendingly to my wife. The little person that I carried inside of me fell in love with her, just as I did again, during my pregnancy. The touch of her protective hands…the sound of her voice…the lullabies, sung just for him. How could he _not _be in love with his Mama?

My heart breaks as I watch my wife comfort our son. Although, in reality, he is the one comforting her. She is the one crying out for him…begging him to be okay, so that everything she went through is worth it. His safety and happiness can heal the hurt-both physical and emotional, that she is experiencing. The love of our precious baby is the only thing that can help her erase the memories of accusation, and racism, and hatred that were so unfairly created. It's the only thing that can help because she won't let me. She won't let me help her…comfort her…love her.

"I'm here too, you know?" I blurt out unknowingly, too caught up in my own mind to realize that thoughts were becoming words. Callie lifts her tear-filled eyes and looks at me with surprise. I'm not sure if she's surprised at what I said, or the fact that I said anything at all. "What?" I whisper, forcing her eyes to remain with mine as I take a step closer.

"Barbara, can you take him?" Callie says unexpectedly, causing my eyes to widen. My mother looks at me first, but I nod my head. "You're gonna get to watch a movie with Grandma," Callie tells Sophia as she helps her out of her booster seat. "Me and Mommy need to talk."

"Okay, Mama," our peanut says, happily agreeing to any extra T.V. time. "Come on, let's go watch _Lady and da Tramp." _

My mother offers me a weak smile as she passes me, her arm nearly being ripped from the socket by the anxious three year old attached to it. I manage to stop her just long enough to place a kiss to Timothy's little hand, my eyes expressing sincere gratitude and hope.

As I follow my wife down the hall, all I can do is hope…hope that we can not only weather this storm together, but come out on top.

"Okay, Arizona. Let's just get this over with," Callie says as she closes the bedroom door behind us, crossing her arms over her chest defensively. "What exactly do I need to do to make you feel better here?"

"This isn't about _me_, Calliope," I say with a heavy sigh, desperately trying to reach her eyes again. But she won't look at me. Not now anyway. "Something terrible happened to you. And I know you are hurting. Seeing you in that kind of pain and not being allowed to do anything…it's, it's unbearable," I whisper, my heart pounding inside my chest.

I reach out and touch her arm, but she pulls away. "Yeah, well…at least I'm still here," she mutters, her eyes never once leaving their fixed position on the floor. "At least I didn't just disappear this morning."

There it is. I guess I should have seen this coming.

"I hate what happened to you last night," I tell her, refusing to give up. I may have bailed on myself, tuning out my own pain for what felt like an eternity. But I am not going to bail on her. She's been helping me through the worst trauma of my life, and I'll be damned if she doesn't let me help her.

"I hate that people mistreated you, put their hands on you, hurt you. I hate that you, even for a second, had to feel like less of a mother to our son. I know what that's like, Callie. I understand. You know I do. And I want to make it better. I want to be here for you, whatever you need. It's okay, baby. It's okay if you're angry…o-or, or upset. It's okay if you want to scream, or cry, or just fall apart…"

"No. No, it's not okay," Callie yells, cutting me off. "There's no room for me to fall apart, Arizona. How can I be broken when I haven't even fixed you yet? How can we fight another battle when we're still in the middle of one?"

"Is that why you didn't press charges? Because of me?" I yell back, my emotions getting the best of me. "Just because we're working through my problems doesn't mean we have to ignore yours."

"I don't have a problem," Callie says, still trying so hard to convince us both that she's okay. "At least…at least, not anymore. You and Jennings came and worked everything out. We got the baby back. End of story."

"No. That is _not_ the end of the story," I tell her adamantly, ducking down to try and reach her eyes. "You're hurting, Callie. You can pretend all you want, but I see it. I don't know exactly what happened last night. And maybe I'm afraid to find out. But I _need_ to know. You _need_ to let me in. I know that you're trying to protect me, but…"

"But, what?" she screams, throwing her hands up in the air. "What am I supposed to do, Arizona? Huh? Am I supposed to give you all the awful details, so I can watch your heart break the way mine is? You think I want you to know how they slammed my face into the cop car, calling me a liar and a bitch? How they fastened the cuffs so tight and yanked me around until my wrists were bleeding? Do you think I wanted to tell you that? Or that our son was crying for hours? That he was probably just as terrified as I was sitting in that jail cell."

Callie is really screaming now, all of her pain coming through in the form of a violent rage. Her fists are clenched as she turns away from me, and before I know it, she is punching the wall. I can tell she has hurt herself by the way she retracts her hand, but the physical pain seems to only fuel her anger. She picks up a vase off of our dresser and throws it, shattering it and the mirror it was launched into. When she turns to face me with another heavy object in hand, I can't help but flinch. My eyes close on instinct and I cower before her, like the frightened little girl she was so afraid to hurt.

"See. That's why I can't fall apart. That's why I can't cry, or scream, or get angry. Because _you_ can't handle it," she whispers, placing her hands down on the dresser. "And I can't handle the thought of losing you again, Arizona. I can't take that chance. I _won't_."

"You are not going to lose me," I assure her, my voice cracking with emotion. Callie turns to face me again, tears streaming down her face. "Okay, so I'm not the most stable person on earth these days. But I'm _your_ person. Maybe everything is a little harder for me to deal with right now, but I can deal with it. I will _happily_ deal with it for you. Because I don't want to lose you either. I _can't_ lose you, Calliope. And if you don't talk to me…don't let me be there for you, then that's what will happen. You may not walk out like I did, but you'll disappear. I saw you disappearing on me this morning…the distance in your eyes, the way you avoided me. That's how it started for me, remember?"

I can see my wife's mind working to process everything I just said, her chest heaving with the labored breaths she is taking. For a moment, she is silent, her eyes once again cast down to the floor. Then, she looks up at me, the light in those rich, chocolate orbs finally starting to shine through. "Guess we're a lot more alike than we ever thought," Callie whispers, her cheeks flushed with embarrassment. She looks around at the mess she's made and shakes her head, silently reprimanding herself.

"They're just things, honey. We can replace them," I remind her, smiling at her through the cracked mirror. She lets out a little chuckle…and finally, I can breathe again. "Everything is going to be alright," I promise my love, slowly inching my way towards her. "We'll get through all of it…_together_, okay?"

In the broken glass, I can see her nodding slowly. I come up behind her, tentatively reaching a hand out to touch her shoulder. When she doesn't pull away, I go for broke and just wrap my arms around her. She leans into my embrace, finally willing to let me take care of her. The deep breath she takes in is soon followed by tears, and for a few moments, I just stand there and hold her while she cries. "Shhh. Shhh, it's okay," I whisper, running my hand along the inside of her shirt to touch the beloved place over her heart.

"I'm sorry, Arizona," Callie says, turning in my arms. Those sad, brown eyes break my heart a little more with every tear they cry, and I find myself choking back tears of my own.

"What do you have to be sorry about?" I ask her as I wipe the liquid sorrow from her cheeks.

Callie opens her mouth to speak again, but before she can even utter a word, there is a light rapping on the door. "Everything okay in here?" my mother asks, nudging the door open ever so slightly.

When she sees the broken glass and the vase shattered on the floor, her eyes nearly bulge out of her head. "It's alright, Mom," I assure her. "No one was hurt and…"

"It was my fault, Barbara," Callie interjects, bending down to pick up the larger pieces of glass. "I was just so angry about what happened last night, and I…"

"No need to explain, dear," my mother says, offering my wife a compassionate smile. "It's turning out to be a beautiful day. If you ladies don't mind, I'm going to pack the kids up and take them for a walk."

I look to Callie, wanting to be sure it's okay with her. I don't blame her if she doesn't want to let our son out of her sight, especially when she doesn't have to. "Timothy will need to be nursed in about an hour. Can you…can you be back by then?" she asks my mom after a moment of silent contemplation.

"Of course, Callie. I can have your little boy back here whenever you want me to," my mother tells her. Callie gives her a weak smile, then gets back to cleaning up the broken glass.

"I'll go grab the broom," I say, following my mother out of the room. We quickly work to get the kids ready for their walk, each of us wanting to give Callie and me some alone time. "Thanks, Mom," I whisper as she is leaving with two kids and a dog in tow. "We really need this."

"Your very welcome, sweetheart," she replies, cradling my face in her hands. "I've really needed all of you the past few months. It's the least I can do." I smile and kiss the tender hands that held me as a child, so thankful for my mother's presence in our lives, no matter what the reason.

I stand at the front door and watch as my mother pushes the stroller down the driveway, playful barking and sweet laughter filling the calm and peaceful air. My family is safe and sound again. Everything is okay…or at least, it's going to be. I am going to make sure of it. I am going to collect myself, gather up every ounce of strength and courage inside of me, and be the good man in this storm. I am going to heal my wife, the way she's been healing me for so long now. I take a deep breath, grab the broom, and head down the hallway…ready to pick up the pieces of my life.

_**A/N: So excited that I got to finish this chapter. My baby girl took a loooong nap today (poor thing was up half the night with her teeth) while my big girl was at Pre-K! Totally excited about today already, being that Grey's is on. Having time to write was an amazing bonus! Hope you all liked this chapter. I know that some of you were upset that Callie didn't have her moment to "freak" about everything that happened. But I really see her character in this story behaving like this…trying so hard to protect AZ after all she's been thru that she would desperately try to deny her own feelings. But of course, Arizona is an amazing wife too and wants to comfort her partner. I really believe that people can care for one another this deeply. I know, I do. Anyway, there will be a bit of happiness & maybe some sexy time? Then a bit more drama on all fronts. Don't want to give too much away, so just please keep reading and give me your input. I love hearing from all of you! Have a great night & an amazing weekend! The semester is over for me soon, can't wait to sleep in on a Saturday!**_


	9. Chapter 19

_**This is a continuation of Building a Future, the sequel to Love Will Lead You Back. For any newcomers to the storyline, this is Callie and Arizona's journey through marriage and motherhood. This installment will pick up right where Chapter 42 left off, after the birth of Timothy. **_

**Disclaimer****: I don't own Grey's Anatomy or any of the characters/story lines. Sadly, those all belong to ABC and Shonda Rhimes.**

**WARNING:**** There is a lot of sexy time in this chapter…maybe a little more smutty than usual. Just wanted everyone to have a heads up. NC-17 at its best (at least, I hope you think so).**

_**Chapter 19**_

_**Callie's POV:**_

I am standing in a pile of broken glass, feeling as if my world was literally shattered. Like our mirror, and the vase, and my bleeding knuckles. I didn't want to break like this. I didn't want to lose control of my emotions and let the sorrow in. I didn't want to cause _her_ anymore sorrow or pain. But that's exactly what I did…what I must continue to do if our marriage is going to remain strong. Arizona was right. I have to let her in. I have to let her support me, comfort me, _love_ me. It's only fair. And it's what we both need.

"Here you go," my beautiful wife says nonchalantly as she enters the room, broom and dustpan in hand. She is trying so hard to act like all of this is no big deal…like the dangerously sharp slivers and shards of glass can easily be swept under the rug.

"_This_ should have never happened," I remark, looking over the destructive handiwork of despair that is covering our pristine, maple floor. "I should never have…"

"Yes. You…y-you should have," Arizona interjects, stilling the shaking hands that are trying to take the broom from her. "You had every right to get angry, Callie. All that you went through last night, for absolutely no good reason, is enough to drive anyone mad. Not, not that I think you're _mad_. I mean, you're way more sane than I am," she stammers, so afraid to say the wrong thing.

"It's okay, Arizona," I tell her, my eyes cast downward at the floor. "Please…don't walk on eggshells around me. If you do that, I'll never be able to get through this. And I need _you_ to get through this. Not sure why I even bothered trying to pretend that I didn't."

"I'm here. I'm right here, Calliope," she whispers, unwrapping my fingers from their death grip on the broom before silently leading me to our bed. "We can worry about the mess later, baby. Right now, I'm just…I'm just worried about you."

"No need to worry," I say, looking up into the brightest blue I've ever seen. "I've got _you_, right? I'm going to be just fine."

"I know you are," Arizona says, her eyes reflecting all the sadness in mine. "But just because we're strong, doesn't mean we aren't entitled to a moment of weakness every now and then. Look at all the moments I've had recently," she chuckles, nudging me playfully with her elbow.

I look into those eyes again, instantly regaining some of the hope I thought had been lost forever. This woman is so very far from weak, even if she can't see that right now. She fills our home with joy and laughter, and even on my worst days, she finds a way to make me smile. "I love you," I blurt out before the lump forming in my throat gets in the way.

"I love you too," she professes, grabbing the hand closest to her and bringing it up to her lips. "I love you so much. And I am so, so sorry that you've been hurt."

I notice the quick glance her eyes make towards my bruised cheek. We've been here before…with the Parkers. Except that time, Arizona was the one who had to bear the brunt of the hatred. She was the one whose lack of biological influence on our daughter broke her heart and made her feel like a lesser being. "I wish it didn't have to be like this for us," I whisper, my thoughts spilling out of my mouth. "I…I wish that no one would ever question that our children are _our_ children."

Arizona doesn't say anything for a moment. She just turns to face me, reaching her hand out to graze the tender mark of hatred that is marring my face. "Yeah. And I wish that every time something like this did happen, you didn't end up with a black eye," she says, her tone laced with sympathy and sadness. "Guess you're the fighter in this relationship, huh?"

"Hey…you're a fighter too," I tell her, removing her hand from my face and holding it in my lap. "Look how you came blazing into that police station last night, ready to kill someone for me and our son. And with the flu no less. Don't think I didn't notice you fighting for me, baby. I did. Thank you."

"Please, Calliope…don't thank me," she says, lowering her eyes to the bed. "It's my fault. Everything that happened last night happened because of me. Because I was sick and…"

"And nothing," I shout, wanting to be very clear. "What happened last night happened because I took a baby into a convenience store in the middle of the night. A hungry, crying baby who doesn't…who doesn't look like he belongs to me."

"Callie…"

"No," I say before she can further interrupt me. "The people in the store weren't wrong to question the situation. There is a missing child out there, Arizona. If…if it were one of our kids, I would want those people to do the same thing."

"But they had absolutely no proof," my wife yells, dropping my hand as she springs up off the bed. "How could they? He's yours. In some ways, more than he's even mine. And those people clearly had no evidence to support their theory."

"No. They didn't. But they were concerned. And so they did what they thought was right. They called the police," I reminded her. "The cops…they're the ones who were wrong last night. They're the ones who mistreated me…called me names…physically punished me for trying to take care of our baby."

Arizona is pacing the room violently, the anguish of what happened to me affecting her in every way possible. "Tell me," she whispers after a moment. "I know it won't be easy, but I…I need to know everything that happened last night."

No. It won't be easy. But she deserves to hear it all…the horrible chapter of our story that I wanted so desperately to erase. I wave her over to me, taking her hands in mine once she sits back down on the bed. Then, without so much as a tear or angry outburst, I tell her every detail of the cruelty our son and I encountered last night.

Her eyes remain closed for quite some time, her ragged breathing and the pounding of my own heart the only sounds filling the eerily quiet air. Then, like a sleeping tiger awaking in its den, her eyes pop open. Here comes my fighter.

"Why didn't you let Jennings take them down? Why didn't you let us do anything?" she asks, her eyes penetrating my soul.

"I didn't want to make our lives any harder," I tell her. "I just wanted to go home and forget the whole thing ever happened. Pretty dumb, huh?"

"No. It…it makes perfect sense," Arizona whispers. "At least, it did last night. But now- now that you've told me everything, let me in…"

"Now is no different for me than last night," I say, stopping her from going any further. "I don't want another battle, baby. Maybe you can handle it, but I…I can't. And whether it was justified or not, I _did_ assault an officer. I blatantly ignored everything those bastards told me to do and just…well, I just did what had to be done for Timothy. Because I'm his mama and I love him. I love him enough to take a blow to the face. I love him enough to spend a night locked up behind bars."

"I know you do, Callie," Arizona whispers, her voice cracking as her eyes fill with tears.

"And I love him enough to just move on from this," I continue. "I don't want to waste another minute of our life on those asshole cops. Karma will get them someday. And…and if it doesn't, then God can judge them when they leave this world. I'm okay with letting Him handle this. The question is, are you? Can you be okay with this?"

"If you just want to drop it…if that's really what you want, then yes. I'll have to be okay with it," she sighs, pursing her lips in disappointment. "But if you ever change your mind…"

"You'll be the first to know…promise," I whisper as I inch my body closer to hers.

"I'm sorry," Arizona breathes in my ear as she wraps her arms around me.

"Stop apologizing. You haven't done anything wrong. In fact, you've done everything right," I tell her, ducking down to catch her eyes. She rolls them at me, shrugging off the compliment. "I mean it, Arizona. You went out looking for me when you were horribly ill. You were smart enough to call our lawyer, and thankfully the assault charges were dropped. I might still be in that jail cell if it weren't for you. You saved me, baby."

"I'm not a hero, Calliope," she whispers. "I'm just a woman who loves her wife and children with a passion. You would have done the same thing."

I nod in agreement, deep brown venturing down an unending path of blue. Arizona stares back at me with so much love that my heart begins to swell, this time with affection and happiness. "I would do anything for you," I say as I pull her in closer. "Anything."

The longer she looks at me, the faster my heart beats. It doesn't feel ripped up, or torn apart, or broken anymore. In this moment, I don't feel any pain or sorrow. All I feel is _her. _The love in her eyes, the comfort of her touch…they're healing me.

I close my eyes and just exhale, releasing the tension that has been riddling my body for hours now. She's here, and she always will be. "It's all going to be okay," I whisper, unaware that I am speaking aloud.

"Yes. Everything is going to be just fine," my wife assures me, her hand once again brushing the tender spot on my cheek. Within seconds, that hand is replaced with the softest lips, their feather-light flutter across my face sending shivers down my spine. "Let me make it better," Arizona breathes in my ear before those perfect lips attach to my neck.

Her kisses feel like butterflies dancing over my skin, so soft and beautiful that I'm not even sure they're there. She is being so gentle with me. So tender. So sweet. But I want more. I want to know her mouth is on me. I want to remember every place those lips are traveling. I want to take this journey with her…see her, feel her, taste her.

My eyes open wide as my fingers wrap around the back of her milky, white neck. I pull her into my body, forcing her lips to make their assault. Those butterfly kisses quickly turn into hard, passionate ones as blue eyes lock with brown. "Arizona…"

I'm about to ask her to give me what I want…beg her to do everything I need her to do. But she silences me with a kiss- a kiss that takes my breath away and breathes new life into my body, all at the same time. "Shhhh," she whispers, her loving eyes turning dark with desire. I don't have to say it. She _knows_ exactly what I need.

Her strong, but delicate hands push me back onto the bed as her body covers mine. Tongues battle for dominance as hands roam up and down light and dark skin. Clothing is removed quickly, neither of us wanting to waste a single, precious moment alone. "What time did I tell your mother to be back?" I ask, my breath hitching in my throat as Arizona's fingers tickle my inner thigh.

She removes her lips from the swollen bud of my breast and glances at the clock. "We have another forty-five minutes or so," she whispers, licking her lips in anticipation as she moves her mouth down my body. "No time to waste."

And she doesn't. Before I know it, my legs are being thrown apart, and the same fingers that were just pinching and pulling my nipples are running through the slick folds that are glistening with desire. "Oh, God. Oh…Oh, baby. That feel so, s-s-soooo good," I cry out, my fingers weaving through her golden tresses. When her mouth replaces the fingers rubbing my throbbing clit, I scream out in ecstasy. "Arizona…"

"I'm right here, Calliope," she whispers against my dripping core, lapping up the juices that are flowing just for her. My eyes roll back in my head when I feel her tongue plunge deep inside of me, and it isn't long before I am coming into her waiting mouth.

"Mmmm," I hear her murmur as she continues to stroke my clit with her tongue, causing my whole body to shake with pleasure. "You taste so good."

"Let me see how you taste," I demand, pushing her off of me a bit roughly. She looks shocked, and for a second, I think that maybe I've frightened her. But then she smiles…that mischievous, sexy, dirty smile. Oh, and how I want her then.

Taking what's mine, I turn Arizona around and all but throw her down on the mattress. She gasps in surprise, but those amazing dimples tell me it's the kind of surprise she craves. "Get on your knees," I order my wife when she attempts to lie on her back.

Arizona does as told, her beautiful body resting on her elbows as her bare bottom hovers in the air above me. My hands reach out to touch her, fingertips kneading the tender flesh before me. But touching just isn't enough. I lean down and place a soft kiss to each perfect cheek before sinking my teeth into her. She cries out in painful pleasure, but the look in her eyes tells me to continue.

I keep my focus locked on those intense, sapphire orbs as I lick her from back to front…then front to back…then back to front again, my tongue grazing both her clit and her ass every time. She squirms and pants, those eyes begging me for more. I feel a rush of wetness between my own legs when I part hers and watch the liquid arousal run down her inner thigh. I coat my fingers with her juices and tease her opening, once again watching her beautiful body writhe beneath me. "Please, baby…" she begs, lifting her ass higher.

"Please, what?" I ask, biting my lip in anticipation. "What is it that you want, baby?"

Arizona's eyes lift from the mattress and turn back to meet mine, the desire in them telling me exactly what she wants. But I tease her some more, moving my fingers slowly across her luscious ass, but never entering her. "Please…p-please, Cal. I…I want you ins-side of m-me," she moans, baby blues penetrating my body and soul.

"Where?" I ask, flicking my thumb across her tight anus.

"Everywhere," she breathes out, her chest heaving as her hardened nipples graze the mattress. I reach under her and pinch each erect bed, smiling when I notice another surge of liquid trail down her leg. I kiss her neck…her back…her ass. Then, after gathering her juices with my fingertips once more, I slowly work my thumb inside of her. I can feel her tense up for a moment, but the sound that comes out of her mouth assures me that she likes where I am heading.

Without warning, I plunge two fingers deep inside of her dripping core, all the while working that thumb in and out of her ass. She thrust back against my hand and lets out a loud moan as she reaches her climax, making me want to come all over again. I pull out of her and flip her over, covering her trembling body with my own. We are both drenched in sweat and pleasure as our clits mingle. My body glides smoothly over hers as we make love, tongues meeting again in desperation. I straddle porcelain hips as they buck up to meet my pulsing core, then roll our joined bodies to give my wife control.

Arizona gladly takes the reigns, pushing one of my legs up over her shoulder as she thrusts into me. It isn't long before we are reaching heaven together, orgasms created out of love and desire. I look up into her amazing eyes and see the whole world…the world that only she can make right for me.

"You are so gorgeous when you come," I pant, holding her close to me as I try and catch my breath. She's like an angel, put on earth just to love and worship me. "I don't think I can ever get enough of you."

"Well, that's good," she whispers, her lips resting over my heart. "Because I can't get enough of you either. I want you, in each and every way…forever."

"You have me," I say, that lump once again forming in my throat. "I love you so much, Arizona."

"I love you too, Calliope," she says, wrapping her arms around me and holding me tight.

We lay together in blissful silence for a while, just holding one another close. I can feel Arizona's heart beating against mine, the sensation bringing me all the peace and comfort I've been needing. "Guess we'd better get up, huh?" my gorgeous girl whispers after a while. "My mom should be coming back with the kids pretty soon."

"Yeah, guess I have to let you go," I say, squeezing her tight as I place a tender kiss to her forehead.

"You _never_ have to let me go," she tells me, her magical smile lighting up the room. "You just can't keep me locked up in our bedroom-naked. At least, not all the time."

"Hmmmph…no fair," I whine, pouting when she removes herself from my embrace. I sit up and throw the sheet off my bare body, shivering a bit when a cool breeze blows in from the window. "I hope they make it back before the rain," I tell my wife as I throw my clothes on.

"They have Dorado," Arizona yells from the bathroom. "He'll bring them home in time."

"You have an awful lot of faith in that dog, you know?" I tease, smiling when I catch a glimpse of Arizona in the bathroom mirror.

Just then, there is a knock on the front door. "Just a minute," I holler as I zip up my jeans and quickly comb my hair.

"See…told you he'd get them back here," Arizona says as she enters the bedroom, blessing me with a kiss before leading me down the hall. "We really need to make Mom a key," she chuckles as we approach the front door, hand in hand.

"Hey guys," I squeal in joyful anticipation, anxious to see my babies on the other side of the door.

"Oh, my God," Arizona exclaims, her jaw dropped in complete and utter shock when wind blows the door open, revealing an unexpected visitor.

I cannot believe who is standing on our front porch, and before I can even process, my body moves to protect the woman I love. I stand between my wife and the man who raised her- the same man who, intentionally or not, almost destroyed our lives with the fear and pain his trauma has imbedded in her soul.

"Dad…w-wh-what are you doing here?" Arizona asks, trying to move around me to get a better look at him.

But I won't budge. I won't let him near her…won't let him hurt her anymore.

"Daniel?" a voice bellows from down the driveway. "Oh, Daniel…is that really you?" Barbara screams, walking as fast as she can towards us. The sky opens up, rain pouring down as the thunder and lighting begin. Another storm has arrived. Just what we need…

**To Be Continued…**

_**A/N: Well, I hope it was worth the wait on this chapter! Please, tell me what you think. Did you like the sex scene? Too much for some of you maybe, but I was feeling adventurous (as I'm sure our girls are sometimes). What do you guys think about Daniel making an appearance? Sorry to leave everyone hanging again, but I love a good cliffhanger. Hehe (I'm mean, I know). Anyway, love love love writing this series, but am afraid my time is possibly going to be cut short again soon. Think we may have found a new house, now need to make a few small repairs & put ours on the market again! Busy, busy! And still working on that baby. Two months in, so no worries. Having tons of fun, as I am sure you can tell by my smutty chapter & ridiculously chipper mood. LOL. Have a great long weekend & celebrate the Veterans, like poor Daniel, who really do suffer for all of us. Wearing stars & stripes proudly as we enjoy our family, friends, & freedom. God Bless America and everywhere you are all from too!**_


	10. Chapter 20

_**This is a continuation of Building a Future, the sequel to Love Will Lead You Back. For any newcomers to the storyline, this is Callie and Arizona's journey through marriage and motherhood. This installment will pick up right where Chapter 42 left off, after the birth of Timothy. **_

**Disclaimer****: I don't own Grey's Anatomy or any of the characters/story lines. Sadly, those all belong to ABC and Shonda Rhimes.**

_**Chapter 20**_

_**Arizona's POV:**_

I cannot believe the man standing before me is my own father. He looks so…_different_. He looks older, wiser maybe. He looks weathered, but not beaten. He looks sorry, every line on his face full of regret and remorse. He looks scared. He looks so scared and just…_different_.

Perhaps he is no longer the man I knew him to be. Perhaps this whole thing has changed him somehow. From where I am standing, I can't tell if that is a good thing or a bad thing. But I'm standing behind my wife- a woman trying so hard to protect me from my it all. Callie's trying to protect me from him, but he is the one thing I need to face if I am truly to move on from this.

I squeeze the caramel colored arm serving as a barricade to my porcelain figure, forcing my wife to look me in the eyes. Blue meet brown and, in an instant, I see the fear that is resonating deep inside of her. She's afraid for me. She's afraid for herself. She's afraid for our life. "It's okay, Calliope," I whisper, tears burning the back of my eyes. "No matter what…he's still my dad."

"I know that," she replies, eyebrows furrowed in despair. "But he's, h-he's also the man who…"

"I understand your hesitation, Callie," my father interjects, causing both of our heads to whip in his direction. "I've hurt the woman you love. I imagine that's not easy to get over. But I'm not here to hurt her now, let me assure you of that. I'm here to explain myself, make amends, reunite with my family. Please…just, just give me a chance."

I watch as my wife inhales deeply, releasing anger and tension through her strong, flared nostrils. She's like a raging bull before the fight, quiet but readily anticipating her attack. I beg her with my baby blues, once again squeezing the shielding arm in front of me. "Fine," she huffs, closing her eyes to it all as she takes a step to the side.

I am finally face to face with my father, mere inches separating me from the beloved daddy whose arms I ran into every day for years. Even back then, when the first incident occurred, I loved him. I survived it, repressed it, and moved on. I guess in some way I forgave him, even then. Just like I want to forgive him now.

I take a tentative step forward, still a bit reluctant to get too close. _What if he snaps? What if he's come here to play out the rest of his trauma-induced fantasy? What if he isn't really my father right now? He could be a soldier, a lieutenant, a murderer. How do I recognize the difference?_

"Daniel. Daniel, what are you doing here?" I hear my mother ask as she finally reaches the front porch, her chest heaving with short, labored breaths from her quick pace up the driveway.

I step back. Maybe I should let her handle this.

"Oh, Barbara," my father cries, opening his arms in the hopes that his wife will fall into them. "It's been so long. I'm so sorry for that. I'm so sorry for everything."

Out of the corner of my eye, I see Callie grabbing the kids and leading them away from the situation. She's got Sophia by the hand, and Timothy is wrapped in her arms as she scurries past my dad and into the play room. "I'm going to sit in there with the kids for a bit," she tells me, swallowing the ever-present lump in her throat. "Timothy needs to eat and I just…"

"I understand, babe I really do," I assure her, my eyes drowning in a sea of rich chocolate. Callie is right to take the kids. They don't need to be a part of this. "We'll be in the living room, so you can hear what's going on…make sure everything is okay," I whisper as I stroke her fingers with my own. "Alright?" She glances over at my father, then slowly nods in agreement. "No worries. Everything will be okay."

I want so desperately to believe the statement I just made, but I am more than a little skeptical. All I can do is face the situation and hope that I was right.

Apparently, my mother is not as skeptical as the rest of us. When I enter the living room, she is sitting beside my father on the couch, crying into his shoulder. "Thank God you are okay, Daniel," I hear her whisper. "I was so worried…"

"Ahem," I cough, my eyes circling the room frantically. "Sorry to interrupt, but…"

"No. Please…come here, Arizona," my dad says, waving me towards him. "You need to hear this too."

"Where the hell have you been the past few months?" I practically scream as I begin to pace the room, catching my wife's anxious glare every time I round the corner towards the playroom. "We've been worrying…a-and, and there are people looking for you. Your friends have been looking for you every day."

"I know. I know," my father says nervously, fumbling with his own hands much the way I do. "And again, I am so sorry for that. But…b-but I can explain."

"Explain then," my mother chimes in, her eyes widening with anticipation.

"After what happened with us…or should I say, after what I did to you," he begins, his fearful eyes shifting down towards the floor. "After that, I…I-I swore to myself that I would never, ever hurt you o-or anyone else again. That's why I told you to leave. And that's why I checked myself into an institution."

"You…y-you what?" my mother asks, her mind clearly working to digest this information.

"There's a place…they call it a Veteran Rehabilitation Center," my dad informs us. "I went to the VA, and they helped me find the place. It wasn't anywhere near our home. In fact, it was all the way in Oklahoma. But I went. And I got the help I've needed for so long."

"So, let me get this straight," I pipe up from my silent stance in the kitchen doorway. "You went to Oklahoma for a few months and you expect us all to believe that you're healed…cured of the PTSD?"

"No, Arizona. I will never be cured of the PTSD," my father tells me, looking me square in the eyes.

I am relieved to hear him say this, and for the first time since he walked into our house, I feel like I am really looking at my dad. "I know," I whisper, nodding in agreement. "My therapist told me the same thing."

"Well, he must be a good doctor then," my father says, releasing an anguished sigh. I'm sure, regardless of how much progress he's made, the fact that his actions have left me scarred with PTSD is not something he wants to hear. But he needs to hear it.

"She," I spit out, shaking my head vigorously to try and stay focused. "My therapist, Dr. Wyatt, is a woman."

"Oh…oh, I see," my dad stammers, unsure of what else to say. "Is it helping? The therapy…is it helping you, honey?"

"She's doing great," Callie bellows from behind us, poking her head into the room for a second as she rocks Timothy to sleep.

"Thank you," I whisper, locking eyes with my amazing and beautiful goddess. "Couldn't have done any of it without you," I remind her. I then turn and face my father again, wanting him to hear every word I have to say. "It isn't fun, Dad. None of this has been fun for me. I had just given birth to a beautiful baby…and, a-and then I start re-living my childhood. And not the wonderful, heartwarming parts I used to remember. Bad, terrible things that you put me and Tim through. Those memories almost ruined my life, Dad. I was confused, and angry, a-and afraid. I shut down. I walked out on my family and…"

"I'm so, so sorry for all of that, Arizona," my father interjects, stopping me from my faced-paced rant. I suck in a much needed breath and turn just enough to catch a glimpse of dark chocolate. If I'm going to get through this day, I need to see those eyes…the eyes that have looked at me with nothing but love and affection throughout this whole ordeal.

"It's okay, baby," Callie mouths from the playroom doorway, her big, brown orbs calming my soul. Timothy is asleep in his bouncy seat and Sophia is coloring at her little table, but still, my wife remains with them. She's not taking any chances with our babies, and I am grateful for that. She knows I need her to be with them, even more than I need her to be with me right now. "I'm right here," she whispers when my body instinctually backs up towards her.

"Your father never intended for any of this to happen, Arizona," my mother says, causing my head to turn quickly back around. My father smiles, then opens his mouth to say something. But my mom cuts him off at the pass. "I'm not going to make excuses for you though, Daniel. What happened to you in Vietnam was terrible, and…and no one can fault you for being traumatized. But you knew something was wrong. You had to have known. And you just ignored it…let it fester until it practically destroyed our family."

"Barbara, I…"

"No, Daniel. Don't interrupt me," my mother says, her tone stern with resignation. "I was stupid enough to keep my mouth shut for all of these years. I let that monster inside of you hurt me…hurt our children. I take full responsibility for my actions. And now, you need to do the same."

"I am. I am taking responsibility for what I've done," my dad tells her, standing up and quickly pacing the room. "Why do you think I'm here? Why do you think I finally went and got help? I know how much I've hurt everyone. And all I want to do is make amends for that. I want to prove to you all that what happened before will never, ever happen again. I want you to trust me again. I want you to love me again."

"Dad…we've, we've never stopped loving you," I whisper, suddenly feeling a pang of sympathy for the man before me. I know what it's like to feel that kind of remorse, and pain, and fear.

"She's right, Daniel," Callie says, finally entering the room. "Despite everything that's happened, these two women love you with all of their hearts. They wouldn't have been worrying about you so much if they didn't."

"Thank you, Callie," my father mumbles, blinking back the tears that have been threatening to surface since he first arrived.

Callie simply nods as she takes another step forward, weaving her fingers through mine when she reaches me. "Thank you," I whisper to the amazing woman beside me, squeezing the strong hand in mine.

"Shhh. None of that," my wife says, wiping the lone tear from my cheek. "I need you, you need me. Remember?"

"Yeah, I remember," I sigh, releasing the nervous breath that's been trapped inside my throat. "Sorry that my needing you seems to have stolen the spotlight again."

"Hey…I knew how much attention you demanded when I married you," Callie teases, winking at me playfully.

I swat her in the arm and giggle a little, thankful for her uncanny ability to lighten the mood. When we turn our attention back to my parents, they are locked in a tight embrace. I smile, despite the seriousness of the situation. No matter what, these two people taught me about love. Love, and devotion, and lifelong commitment.

"So, where do we go from here?" my father asks, breaking his loving gaze to glance in our direction. "Can you…do you think you can forgive me?"

"Yes. I can forgive you, Dad," I assure him, swallowing the new lump that has risen in my throat.

He then faces my mother again, his eyes asking her the same question. "Of course I can forgive you, Daniel," she whispers before throwing herself into his arms again.

"Well, that just leaves one person," my father says when he finally lets Mom go. I can see the nervous hesitation on his face as he stares at my wife. "Callie…"

Callie seems reluctant to speak for a moment, her eyes lowered to the floor. I am afraid of what might happen. She has every right to be angry, and bitter, and resentful towards my father. He's hurt me deeply. If Carlos had put her through this kind of emotional turmoil, I'm not sure how easily I could forgive him.

"Okay," my wife blurts out after another moment of silence. "I can forgive you…_if_ you promise to get evaluated by our therapist. I need her to convince me that you're healed…or at least, _healing_. I need to know you won't hurt my wife…or, or our children."

"That is more than fair," my dad says, extending his hand to Callie. She shakes his hand, then takes a step back so I can give my father a hug, at last. "I love you, honey," he whispers in my ear as he holds me tight. "And I promise, I will make it all up to you."

"Just get better…and stay better," I tell him, pulling back to look into his eyes. It is all still there…the sorrow, the pain, the fear. But there is hope now too. It may be just a glimmer, but it's there in all of us.

"Mama, I hungry," a tiny voice whispers from the playroom.

"Okay, sweetheart," Callie says as she makes her way back to our children. "I'll go fix us all some dinner. But first…why don't you go say hello to Grampy."

I can't help the tears that form at that suggestion. Not only is my wife willing to let my father back into the life he almost destroyed, but she's willing to share our children with him. After all that's happened, that takes courage…and devotion…and love.

"Grampy!" Sophia yells as she runs into my dad's waiting arms. "I miss you so much, just like Mommy and Gramma."

For the first time since I made love to my beautiful wife hours ago, my heart feels full. There is a lot of work still to be done…a lot of therapy sessions, and healing, and forgiveness. But the storm has ended. It was violent, and cruel, and heartbreaking. But it's finally dying down. And the aftermath we are left with is worth sorting through. Our life…our family…our love- it's worth everything.

_**A/N: Okay, so good news first. Finally got to update this fic! Yay! Hope you enjoyed the chapter. What did you think of Daniel's big return? Wanted to bring this part of the story to a head finally, and show the healing process for everyone. Thinking there will be a few more chapters involving therapy, and then some happy times, and then…the conclusion. Sadly, I just don't have the time to devote to writing anymore. Which brings me to the bad news. Updates may be few and far between for a while. Moving, working on new living space, and expanding our family is sucking the life out of me. And now that summer is here and I'm off (yay!), I try and use every minute of free time to be with my girls. Having lots of fun at beach, parks, museums, etc. We really enjoy showing our kids the world, so we are planning a 2 week road trip from New England down to South Carolina. Should be interesting…and hopefully a lot of fun! Stopping to see friends and family along the way, which will be great! Hope you all have a wonderful summer and please keep reading, even if you don't see me posting for a while! Thanks as always.**_


	11. Chapter 21

_**Chapter 21**_

_**Callie's POV:**_

As I stand outside Dr. Wyatt's door, I can't help but feel a sense of relief. Today is the day. The last day. The last day of therapy. The work has been done, and now it's over. Well…at least, for the most part. My wife will continue to see Dr. Wyatt once a month for the rest of this year, then twice a year from that point on. And maybe, just maybe, there will come a day when her PTSD is truly under her belt and she won't need the help of a therapist anymore. Dr. Wyatt says it's highly uncommon for victims of trauma to fully heal. But she doesn't know Arizona the way I do. And she doesn't know the way I love my wife…how our love seems to conquer all.

I suck in a deep breath as I daydream of the day when all of this is truly behind us, picturing my breathtaking woman letting go the way she used to. The day when Arizona won't inadvertently look over her shoulder for the demons lurking around the corner. The day when the guilt in her head will no longer produce the memory of her brother's voice. The day when she can stand up proudly and be the good man in the storm for all of those she loves. She's so close to being there already. She's amazing. She's a miracle. And she's _mine_.

The door to Dr. Wyatt's office opens up and before I catch a mere glimpse of my angel, my heart is in my throat and the smile taking over my face is unrelenting. She sees me and smiles back, the dimples I receive setting free the butterflies in the pit of my stomach.

"Hi, baby," Arizona whispers as she walks towards me, sliding her fingers effortlessly into the palm of my hand. She leans in and kisses my cheek tenderly, her baby blues radiating love and joy. "I did it," she tells me, her soft lips brushing against my ear. "_We_ did it, Calliope."

"We sure did," my father in law says as he takes a step in our direction. Arizona's eyes stay locked with mine and we both giggle quietly. Daniel has done a lot of work over the past few months, but I know exactly what "we" my wife is referring to.

"Congratulations, Daniel," I say, reluctantly letting go of my girl to offer her dad a hug. "I'm so proud of you for sticking this out. And I know Barbara is too."

"Ehhh…it was fun," Daniel jokes, though the lump in his throat does not go unnoticed. "We had a great time in therapy. Didn't we, Dr. Wyatt?"

"Oh, yes. It's been nothing but a joy ride for all of us," Dr. Wyatt teases. She puts down her notebook and pen, then turns to us all with a much more serious expression. "You all have come a very long way," she says honestly, a proud smile on her face. "It's been a pleasure assisting you on this journey," she whispers as she pulls my wife in for a hug.

"Thank you," Arizona says, fighting tears of mixed emotion. "I never thought I would survive this, but you…"

"Nonsense," Dr. Wyatt interrupts. "You did this yourself. Never forget that, Dr. Robbins."

"Well, that's not entirely true," my wife tells her, glancing over at me.

Once again, my heart swells with love and I can no longer resist the urge to pull Arizona into my arms and kiss her. Dr. Wyatt walks Daniel out into the hallway, and I take full advantage of the sudden privacy. I throw my arms around my wife and press my lips to hers, gently but with every ounce of passion I have inside.

"What was that for?" she asks, a beautifully playful smirk adorning her face.

"For coming back to me," I whisper before I kiss her again, over and over. In this moment, I never want to let her go. I want to keep her locked up in my arms, safe and sound, and never look back. I only want to see happiness, and our babies, and those dimples.

"I will never, ever leave again," she assures me, deep brown reflected in bright blue. "No matter what, I won't disappear on you. I promise."

"Well, that's good," I tell her, pulling her body closer to mine. "The only thing I want to see disappearing from now on is _this_," I whisper seductively as I pull her scrub top with my fingers and twist the material until it brings us as close as humanely possible. "And maybe _these_," I breathe into her ear, moving my hands down to the drawstring of her pants. "And eventually, everything underneath…"

I can feel the heat radiating from Arizona's body as I continue to tease her, my hard nipples grazing hers as my hand works its way down to her beautiful ass. If I had my way, I would take her right there on Dr. Wyatt's desk. I glance over at the space where the older, red-haired woman sits and bite my lip, chuckling into Arizona's golden tresses.

"Calliope," she scolds, swatting my arm. "I think we've left enough of an impression on Dr. Wyatt, don't you think?"

I drop my head and give Arizona a mock frown, then wiggle my eyebrows and drag her away from that very tempting desk. "Okay, guess it'll just have to wait until later."

"Have you decided where you're going tonight?" Daniel asks as we finally make our way out of the office.

"Huh?" I say, totally unaware of what he's talking about. "I thought we were going out to dinner."

"We are," Arizona replies with a smirk, her blue eyes full of mischief. "Just the two of us, though."

"What? I…I thought you wanted to take the kids a-and, and your parents out to celebrate," I question, totally confused by my wife's behavior. "Your mom and dad are leaving in a couple days and…"

"Exactly," Daniel chimes in, throwing his arm around Arizona's shoulder. "And after everything you've done, everything you've put up with…the least we can do is take the kids so our daughter can take you out."

"Yes. I'd like to take my wife out- _alone_, if that's okay," Arizona says, smiling brightly. "You deserve much, much more than one romantic night out. But it's a start, right?"

"I'm gonna go see what they have for the kids in the gift shop," Daniel says, winking at Dr. Wyatt as he walks away. "Meet you in the car."

"Enjoy your evening," Dr. Wyatt says before heading back into her office. "I'm always here if you need me."

Arizona nods and smiles, silently thanking the woman one more time.

"Arizona," I whisper, still perplexed as to why my wife is taking me out, today of all days. She's the one who has completed therapy, and done the hard work, and beat the monster. "Honey, you don't have to take _me_ out. I should be taking you out…"

"No," my wife says, loud and clear. "I want- no, I _need_ to show you how grateful I am. For everything you've done. For all that you continue to do. I never would have survived this without you. And you need to know that."

"Baby, I do," I assure her, getting lost in her eyes. "I know you appreciate me. You don't have to tell me…or, or take me out to prove that."

"Please, Calliope," Arizona whispers, wrapping her arms around my neck and staring straight into my soul. "I need to do this, for both of us. Please…"

"Okay, baby," I say, swallowing the lump in my throat. "Whatever you need, I'll give you. But please know that everything I need is _right here_," I whisper as I run my hands up and down her sides. "I would go through Hell and back, all over again, to have _you_. I am so incredibly proud of you, Arizona. And I love you so much."

"I love you too, Callie," Arizona breathes into my skin, her cheek pressing up against mine. I can feel wetness, but I know that this time, they are tears of joy.

I lean back and wipe away the liquid emotion from my wife's beautiful face, then take her hand and lead her to the elevator. "Come on, sweetheart. Let's go home."

We arrive at out house a few moments later, and Arizona laughs at the myriad of balloons lining the driveway. "What? I gave Sophia a job to do," I say, trying hard not to crack up. I told our little girl to have Grandma help her tie one balloon to each fence post. "Guess Grandma let her get creative," I mumble as I continue to laugh at the giant cluster of balloons at the end of the driveway, followed by one or two tied to random posts.

"You didn't have to do all of this," Arizona says as we walk up to the front door. There is a big banner that says "_Congratulations, You Did It" _over the porch and a dozen red roses waiting for her on our swing. "Thank you, Calliope," she whispers as she brings the flowers to her nose and inhales.

I look at the beautiful vision before me- the way Arizona's hair is glistening in the sun…the way her perfectly pale skin contrasts the deep, red roses…the light shining in her gorgeous, blue eyes. "No. Thank you," I whisper, holding back the tears that only true, unadulterated love can create.

"Mama, Mommy," our little decorator yells as she comes running out of the house with another balloon. "Here, Mommy. This for you. Pink…cause dat your favorite."

"You're right," Arizona replies as she takes the balloon. "Pink is most definitely Mommy's favorite color. Thanks, peanut."

"You welcome," Sophia says, looking up at her mommy with an adoring smile. "Here, Grampy. This one for you. Gramma say you like blue da best."

"Oh, yes. Thank you, sweetie," Daniel says as he swoops in to scoop up his granddaughter. "We're gonna have so much fun tonight, Sophia. Look what Grampy found in the gift shop this morning."

Daniel hands Sophia a bag with a brand new, Disney Princess tea set. "Wowwwww," Sophia exclaims, running into the house to show her grandmother. "Look, Gramma. We're having a tea party later."

"Ooh, I love tea parties," Barbara whispers, covering Timothy's ear to shield him from his sister's terribly loud, overly excited voice. "Why don't you go set up the table in the playroom, honey? Get your boo-boo bunny, and your dolly, and whoever else you want to invite to the tea party. And Grandma will make us real tea later, okay?"

"Wow. A real tea party, Mama," Sophia says as she hugs my leg. "Can you and Mommy come too?"

"Well, peanut. Maybe Mama and I can have another tea party with you tomorrow," Arizona suggests as she comes to stand beside us, her arms wrapping around our daughter's little body. "Mama is taking me out on a very special date tonight."

"Ooooh," Sophia whispers, her big, brown eyes lighting up just the way Arizona's eyes do when she is intrigued. "What's a date, Mommy?"

Arizona giggles at the suddenly curious expression on our daughter's face. She lifts Sophia into her arms and whispers in her ear, "It's a very special night out for two people in love."

"Ohhhhh," our peanut says, smiling. "So that mean…you in love with my mama?" she asks, still trying to fit all the pieces together.

"Yes," Arizona replies, glancing at me with nothing but love in her eyes. "I am very much in love with your mama."

"The feeling's mutual," I whisper, dropping a kiss on Arizona's shoulder before I go grab my baby boy.

Barbara hands Timothy to me, and I take a moment to lavish his beautiful face with feather-light kisses before I put him down in his crib. I sit in the rocking chair and just stare at him, watching the rise and fall of his chest. He looks so much like my wife, even in sleep. He's an angel, just like she is.

"Whatcha doin' in here?" Arizona asks from the doorway, her head resting on the door frame. "My mom's making some soup and sandwiches for lunch. Figured you might be hungry."

"Yeah…starving actually," I tell her truthfully, as my stomach rumbles yet again. "I was just watching him for a minute, and thinking how incredibly lucky I am to have two healthy, absolutely beautiful children."

"Yes…we are very, very lucky," Arizona agrees. She, too, stares into the crib and watches our little surprise sleep peacefully. "He looks so much like my brother. Well, and me too, I guess."

"And that is definitely a good thing," I say, so completely enamored by the tiny, male version if my wife.

"Fortunately for me-and unfortunately for Mark- Sophia is the spitting image of you," Arizona says. "So I know how amazing it is to see a reflection of the person you love more than life itself in your child. I just wish…"

"What?" I inquire, my heart suddenly beating harder in my chest. "What do you wish, baby?"

"I wish we could make a baby together," my wife says, both the notion and the sadness in her voice surprising me.

"We made Timothy together, Arizona," I remind her, thinking back to the night he was conceived. "And you know how I feel about the way Sophia came into our lives. You were there. You were the reason she was made. And the reason her heart started beating. You contributed more to her life than anyone."

"I know. I know," Arizona mumbles as she continues to cast loving smiles towards our little man. "I just can't help but wonder what our baby would be like…how he or she would look. Can you image a mix of Sophia and Timothy, Cal?"

"Beautiful. Our baby would be beautiful," I whisper, suddenly experiencing the sorrow my wife is. "I've just been so happy with the two we've already got that I never really think about…"

"And you shouldn't," my wife interjects, coming to kneel down beside me. "Our children are beautiful, and healthy, and every bit a part of us. You're right, Callie. We are so incredibly lucky."

"Ahem," a deep voice bellows from the hallway.

"Hi, Dad," Arizona says as she cups my cheek, those baby blues melting away any sadness over our inability to have a child the way most couples do.

"Lunch is ready, girls," Daniel says, glancing at me with a strange expression on his face.

"Be right there," Arizona tells him as he turns to walk away.

"I think he heard what we were talking about," I say, shrugging my shoulders. "Oh well. Silly to think about something that can never happen, I guess."

"Yeah, guess you're right," Arizona mutters, a hint of sadness in her voice. "If and when we decide to have another baby, we can talk about our options. For now, let's just enjoy the baby right in front of us."

We both look at our sleeping angel and smile. Arizona is right. We have options for the future. And until then, we have our baby boy…and our sweet girl…and each other. We are very lucky indeed.

"Come on, Mommy and Mama," Sophia hollers, causing us both to laugh. "I worked very hard with Gramma to make da soup for you. Hurry up…"

"Okay, your highness. We're coming," I yell from the rocking chair.

Arizona stands up and offers me a hand, but instead of using it to get out of the chair, I pull her down into my lap. "I love you," I tell her before my lips make their way to hers. Every inch of my body tingles when I make contact with her deliciously soft, sweet mouth. "Mmmm, I can't wait to go on a date with you tonight," I whisper into her smooth, creamy white neck.

My lips continue to taste and feel the beautiful woman in my arms as Arizona leans into my embrace. "And I can't wait to take you out," she tells me, leaning back so she can look in my eyes. "I love you too, Calliope. With all of my heart."

And there it is- my whole world, wrapped up in a pair of gorgeous, crystal clear orbs. Arizona's eyes are like an endless ocean to my soul, and if I'm not careful, I will drown in them. I'm holding my wife like a baby now, her head nestled against my shoulder as I rock the chair gently back and forth.

In this moment, everything seems right. The trauma we have gone through…the fear, and sadness, and heartache we've endured the past six months all seem to disappear as I hold my love. Arizona was my first baby- the first person I truly gave my heart and soul to, the first person I vowed to love and protect with my life, the first person I knew I couldn't live without. And she's here, in my arms, right where she belongs. And no matter what surprises life brings our way, she's not going anywhere.

_**A/N: Okay, so I know some of you want to shoot me for taking so long to update this story. And I know I've written a few chapters of my other fics, but those are a bit easier to crank out. This series is my baby, as I told one of you who asked when I would update. I like to take my time writing the chapters and usually become immersed in them for hours. So it's been a little hard to find the time. Teaching 5 nights a week has been hard…for me, wifey, and kids. A big adjustment all around, not to mention working on the new house still and dealing with this awful humane society situation. Got a new puppy, named Bear. Big black and white fluff ball, not really sure what he is. The kids think he looks like a Panda Bear, which is why we named him Bear. Still trying to get PG…been 6 months & nothing. I am disappointed every month, but doc says just to relax. Yeah, right! Okay, enough about my life (I know how some people don't like my author's notes…too bad! No one makes you read them). Sadly, the next chapter will be the last in this fic. I know that will upset some, but I promise it will be good & I also promise to leave the door open (very wide open, actually) for me to continue this series when I have the time. Can't promise that new fic will happen anytime soon, or if it does that updates will occur frequently…but I don't feel like this series is over for me. Ok, gotta get moving for the day. Enjoy & comment if you can. As always, thanks for reading!**_


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